Mortal Instruments Next Top Model
by icaughtkira
Summary: It's America's Next Top Model..but Mortal Instruments style! It has all the drama and all the hilarity. It has all our favorite characters as well as some that we love to hate. Plus the usual pairings. And some unusual ones. Who's going to be on top?
1. Wanna be on top?

**Okay so this is an idea I got when I was bored. I hope it is entertaining. I've watched waaay too much of 'America's next Top Model', and it really amuses me to imagine the Mortal instruments characters competing. Leave a review to tell me what you think. :) This is AU, they are normal people, not shadowhunters.**

**I do not own 'The Mortal Instruments book series' or any of the characters. i also do not own America's next top model, nor do I make any profit from this. Tyra, I am a big fan really, don't sue me. :)**

* * *

Isabelle came home from summer soccer practice to find Jace flopped on the couch watching tv.

"Hi Jace. Just curious, do you ever go home or have you officially moved in?"

"You know you'd love that Izzy. That would offer lots of opportunities for catching me in the shower, getting undressed and so on. You could watch me sleep. I bet I'm adorable when I'm sleeping."

"Oh, can a girl dare to dream?" Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Where's Alec?"

"He's getting food. Your parents went shopping."

"Ah, so that's why you're here."

"Well it's true that my grandmother doesn't exactly go in for buying brownie ice cream and five different kinds of chips. You darn rich people."

Alec came out of the kitchen with an armful of snacks. "We're not rich. Your grandma just deprives you. Hey Isabelle."

"Hey." She flopped down on the couch next to Jace. "What is this crap you're watching?"

"America's Next Top Model." Jace replied, attacking a stack of pizza Pringles. "A show that consists of a dozen hot chicks parading around in various states of undress."

"I love how you try to make it sound like it's not totally gay that you're watching that." Isabelle laughed. "First it was 'Project Runway' and now this."

"Hey, he completely confiscated the remote," Alec said hastily. "I wanted to watch the soccer game."

"You're so…European." Jace commented. He watched for a few moments. "I can't believe I never noticed how sexual this song is." He turned to Alec. "I mean 'do you want to be on top?' really?" He raised an eyebrow.

Alec swallowed, and mentally slapped himself for blushing. "Um… yeah. I never noticed. Before."

Isabelle watched as the girls were shown. She wasn't impressed. "You think those girls are hot? They don't have anything on me. They can't even _walk_ in those heels. And those aren't close to being four inchers. Pathetic."

"You should try out," Jace suggested. "As annoying as you can be, it cannot be denied that you're a ten."

"Nah, it's stupid," she said dismissively.

At the end of the intro, there was an announcement from Tyra Banks. "Hello ANTM fans! For next season, we're opening the show up to petites…and aspiring male models! For the first time, America's Next Top Model is going to be coed. If you or someone you know is interested in being a part of this revolutionary season, send us an audition tape or come to one of the casting calls held around the country. Do you want to be on top?"

"Wow." Jace said. "I am going to be on television."

"What?" Alec asked in confusion.

"I'm going to try out. There's no way anybody could beat me."

Isabelle snorted. "God, your modesty. It makes you all the more endearing."

"You're going to be so jealous when I win."

"You know what? I think I will try out. There's an audition here in New York. I can't wait to see your face when I make it to the next round and you don't."

Alec groaned. "I thought you said it was stupid Isabelle. It's just a brainless modeling competition."

"Putting a chink in Jace's insanely high self esteem is always a worthy cause. Besides, it could be fun. It's the summer. I honestly don't have that much to do."

"Hells yeah it will be fun!" Jace exclaimed. "And I think _you're_ the one who's going to get a healthy dose of humility."

"We'll see." Isabelle smiled and went to bring her stuff upstairs.

"You two are on your own with this you know. I am not getting involved." Alec crossed his arms over his chest.

"Alec you are at least coming to the audition to give me moral support." Jace said in a no nonsense tone. "I mean, Isabelle might actually make it and I might not. That's strictly confidential that I said that, by the way. But the girl practically lives in heels. I bet she even goes to bed wearing them."

"You're getting dangerously close to weirding me out with the direction your thoughts are going. Remember that you're talking about my little sister. And because she's my sister, and you're my best friend, I don't want to take sides."

"Then don't take sides, you can come for both of us. But in all seriousness, do you think anyone could top this?" Jace gave Alec his best bedroom eyes, throwing his head back to expose the perfect curve of his throat. He bit gently on one side of his bottom lip.

Alec jumped up to clear the snacks away. "No probably not. But I think you've been watching too much of this show." He turned the television off. "Let's go outside."

" 'Kay. I want to go on the trampoline."

"Are you perpetually stuck in third grade?" Alec couldn't help but smile.

"Trampolines are fun Alec. They will be fun when I'm eighty. And it's not as if I have one at home, like you rich people."

"Remind me to supervise you if you ever achieve old age."

"You got it."

* * *

Clary and her friend Simon were lounging around her bedroom, summer had just started and they were already bored.

Simon was flipping through the channels. He paused when Tyra Banks appeared on the screen. "What the hell is this woman wearing?"

"That's Tyra." Clary said absently, picking at the fringe on a throw pillow.

"Believe it or not Clary, I am slightly aware of pop culture." He went to change the channel, but Clary said, "Hold on, what's she saying?"

They listened to the announcement about the next season of ANTM.

"They take short people now," Simon said. "You should audition."

"Well thanks Simon. I needed to be reminded of how vertically challenged I am."

"I didn't mean it like that. I meant you're very pretty, and might even make it." He looked away, embarrassed by how transparent he was being.

Clary was indifferent to the fact that a boy had just called her pretty. She was too distracted by the ridiculous image of her as a model. "My mother has a better chance of making it than I do. In fact that crazy poetry reading kid that's obsessed with his loins would probably have a better chance of making it than I do."

"No way. You should have more confidence."

"It would be interesting," Clary mused. "Good for a laugh at least. We could go to the casting here in New York and make fun of all the delusional people. I'll do it if you do it with me."

"Of course." Simon said solemnly. "I'm so very GQ. Everyone knows the model stereotype is that of a band nerd who plays dungeons and dragons in his free time."

Clary laughed. "We're going to be such hypocrites making fun of everybody aren't we?"

"Who really cares. We're young and allowed to do dumb things. I'm just worried _you'll_ actually make it and be at a total loss as to how to deal with those pompous model boys."

"How do you know you won't have model girls all over you?" She tossed the pillow at him.

He caught it and tossed it back with a smile. "Let's not get too ridiculous now."

* * *

**At the Audition**

"Everybody walking by is going to think I'm auditioning. I cannot believe you guys talked me into coming to this." Alec complained.

"It was really incredibly easy Alec." Jace pointed out. "God Isabelle how many times are you going to check that paint job?"

Isabelle snapped the small compact shut. "You don't know how it is for girls. We are expected to try to look good." She was rocking a pair of skinny jeans that showed off how long and slim her legs were, a white tank, and her signature four inch black heels. Jace had a light blue t-shirt and jeans, and Alec was wearing one of his infamous black sweaters also with jeans.

"I know you get cold easily Alec but what really makes you look weird is that you're wearing a sweater in June." Isabelle pointed out.

"Hey, it's only like, sixty five right now." He said defensively.

There was a huge line stretching down the side walk as people from all over the northeast awaited their chance to try out. There were many boys, but it seemed to be mostly girls, many of whom seemed to be trying to walk in heels for the first time as they tottered back and forth.

"Amateurs," Isabelle said disdainfully.

None of them would be meeting Tyra today, they would see a trusted associate who would send the promising ones on to meet Tyra at a second audition.

After several long hours of waiting, the trio were finally ushered through the doors. "Next group Mr. Fell," a female receptionist called out. There were a few dozen hopefuls inside, and a man was going down the line, picking people out for a closer look. He was flamboyantly but fashionably dressed, and was dismissing nearly everyone. Then he got to Isabelle.

"Gorgeous." He said appreciatively. Isabelle smiled. "Too much makeup though." The smile faded.

"Only for you honey. You're too beautiful to need it. And you're so tall, perfect for runway. But the question is…can you walk?"

"I can show you." She said.

"Down to wall and then back. Pretend you're on a runway."

"I always do." She said, and started walking.

Ragnor Fell actually started tearing up a bit. "God that's how it's DONE everyone! Perfect walk. It's as if she LIVES in heels!"

"What'd I tell you?" Jace whispered to Alec, who had stepped back behind the line to stay out of the way.

"Well it seems like she's in," Alec said back. He couldn't help but be proud of Isabelle, even if this was sort of ridiculous, she was in her element.

"Definitely in," Ragnor concluded. Come back in two weeks, and you'll get on a bus that will bring you to the second audition. If Tyra is in her right mind on that day you should breeze through that as well. Just a little less makeup."

"Thank you," Isabelle beamed.

"The rest of you have a tough act to follow," Ragnor announced, as he returned to the line of people. He continued until he got to Jace.

"Well I'm liking what I see. Take off the shirt."

Jace didn't even hesitate to whip it off. He knew he had a pretty good tan going already.

"Well. I am _really_ liking what I'm seeing. Very Abercrombie. But can you _walk_?"

"Since I was ten months old." Jace grinned

"Down to the wall and back."

Jace was completely comfortable with his body, and he moved with the fluid grace of someone who's been an athlete their whole life. He swung his shirt over his shoulder and walked like he'd been born on the runway. Going to the end and turning back like Isabelle had done.

"Wow." Ragnor said when Jace had gotten back and was putting his shirt on. "Perhaps even more than Abercrombie for you. You've got the 'It' factor in spades. Just be careful of that swagger, we all know you're gorgeous. You don't have to try too hard. Definitely in."

Jace was thinking that he wasn't trying at all. "Thanks." He said, getting the same instructions as Isabelle, to come back in two weeks.

Alec congratulated them both. "You were great." He said.

"Why thank you. And _I_ did it with my shirt on." Isabelle smirked. Jace looked like he was about to make a comment but Alec quickly said. "Sister," and gave him a warning look. So Jace just congratulated her.

They started to head out when Ragnor Fell stopped Alec with a hand on his arm. "Wait a second, how did I miss you?"

"Oh, um," Alec started stuttering in embarrassment. "I'm not trying out sir. I'm with them," he gestured to Jace and Isabelle.

"Where are you people _coming_ from? Are you angels straight from heaven? You can't 'not try out sir'! It would be a travesty! Now take off your shirt this instant so we can dispense with the formalities."

"Are you serious? I don't want to take off my shirt in front of all these people!"

Ragnor sighed heavily. "So we have a modest model. That doesn't really work kid, but I'll give you the chance anyway if you can walk."

"I-

"Just walk Alec." Jace pushed him. "You do it every day. We did it to get here remember?"

Alec tried to relax and walked across the room. This was insane, but if he got it over with maybe they'd leave him alone.

He didn't realize he moved with the smooth gait of an athlete as well, and that Ragnor Fell was in full out bawling mode now.

"Oh my god! That was amazing! You managed to make that hideous sweater look like something I wanted to wear, and I can tell you that is quite a feat. You're tall too, and those eyes, just astounding. You're in. And don't be so modest, take some lessons from your friends."

Alec stood in shock as he got the papers and the speech. What had he gotten himself into? And what the hell had just happened?

Isabelle and Jace high fived eachother. "All went according to plan," Isabelle laughed.

"Of course."

* * *

**Well, I hope that wasn't too utterly wacked out. Or if it was that it was in a good way haha. Don't worry, there are going to be lots more people that they'll be competeing against. I'll try to update later today!**

Please review, I will love you. :)


	2. Tofu

**Well hello everybody. Next chapter real quick haha. You don't know how rare that is for me. Or maybe you do? I'm sorry. Hope you like. :)**

**I also want you to know, I have no idea who's going to win this thing haha. :D**

**I don't own the books, the show, or the characters. **

* * *

Clary was completely distracted when the man called Ragnor Fell addressed her. She had just seen the most attractive boy in the world, and he was leaving, walking out that door with his friends

and she was never going to see him again…

"Helloooo, anyone home in the redhead's noggin? I'm talking to you honey."

Clary snapped to. "Oh sorry."

"Hopefully you can walk better than you can hear, because you've got a cute look. Walk down there and come back."

She did, thinking the whole time how the golden haired boy had looked when he walked. She could see the muscles moving under his skin, lean and perfect…

Before she knew it she was back where she started. "Interesting," Ragnor said. "You almost looked like you were floating, like in a dream. I think there could be a place for you in this competition."

"For…for _who _in this…_what_?"

"Not the brightest crayon in the box I see. That's alright darling, it's just modeling. I'll see you here in two weeks." Clary took the papers he held out to her. This was her ticket to see the golden haired

boy again, he had gotten through. And somehow, so had she.

Then she noticed that the judge was talking to a topless Simon.

"…the glasses are a nice touch. That angular intellectual look is really in right now."

Clary almost laughed as Simon started to walk. He looked so confused.

"…okay so you can't really walk. But I think we could work on it. See you in two weeks."

Simon walked over to Clary in nearly as much of a daze as she was. "Clary, I just made it."

"I saw."

"How did I do?"

"You're an…angular intellectual." Clary burst out laughing.

"Oh god that's right." Simon started laughing as well.

"At least you didn't get the 'not the brightest crayon in the box' comment." She pointed out.

"You're too good for that box anyway." Simon hugged her. "I knew that you would make it."

* * *

**Two Weeks Later**

Jace showed up at the Lightwood house bright and early with his packed bag. Isabelle met him at the door, dressed and ready.

"Hey Izzy." He said, walking in and going to the fridge like he lived there. "Is Alec up?"

"Hmm? Oh yes. He went running. Can you believe that? Running! In the morning! It's barely dawn!" she rubbed sleepers out of her eyes and blinked rapidly.

Jace checked his watch. "Actually it's nine thirty. Dawn was about four and a half hours ago, when I finished my martial arts exercises."

"God you morning people," she grumbled. "I'm making coffee. I need it desperately. Are you having any?"

Jace pictured Isabelle's version of coffee, which was more like black sludge.

"I'll pass. Where are the 'rents?"

"They went with Max to Disney World."

"Aw, lucky kid! Alec better get here quickly by the way. We're going to be late if he doesn't."

"It's his long run day. Fifteen miles I think he does now."

Jace whistled. He had his eye on the window, impatiently waiting for Alec to arrive.

Within a few minutes, a lanky figure came into view, as Alec stopped at the mailbox, checked his watch, and shakily walked up to the porch. He stopped to sit on the steps, catching his breath.

The door opened and a blonde head poked out. "Alec get your fast ass in here and get ready."

"Hi Jace," Alec smiled. "I just ran the long loop in seventy nine minutes, that means I'm finally down to under five twenty mile pace-

"That is fantastically beastly and you can tell me all about it when we are on our way." A tanned hand yanked him into the house and up the stairs.

Alec could only go along with it as he was pushed into the upstairs bathroom. "Shower," Jace commanded.

"Okay okay I can manage it on my own!" Alec said quickly, when Jace looked like he was considering ripping Alec's clothes off and shoving him in himself to hurry the process.

"I'm trusting you with this Alec." He warned him, and slid down the banister.

"It's all good Izzy." He announced.

"I'm so glad to hear it. Do you think that this dress is too…I don't know, Ms. Purity? Too Sandra Dee? " Isabelle frowned down at the summery white dress she had on.

"You?" Jace snorted.

"Watch it," she glared. "I guess the shoes save it." She smiled at the teal sandalwood wedges that had been such a steal. She had four bags packed herself, and two that she'd done for Alec. Her brother thought he had packed efficiently of course, with a suitcase full of his usual wardrobe and a toothbrush and tooth paste. She hadn't told him yet that she'd gone shopping and bought him new clothes. Nothing crazy, just stuff that was new and in more than just black.

She waited for the yell.

"What happened to my clothes!?" She heard from upstairs.

"If you're referring to your ancient sweaters, I trashed them. Otherwise you would have smuggled one in. Pick something from the closet!" Isabelle hollered back.

To his credit, Alec was down quickly, wearing a loose long sleeved blue shirt that matched his eyes (though Isabelle was sure he hadn't noticed), and dark jeans. He was shivering.

"Are you actually cold?" Jace was incredulous.

"It's only seventy five. Plus cold showers are good for the m-muscles after you r-run."

"We've all got to run now." Isabelle said.

"I wanted coffee," Alec protested.

"No you don't Alec," Jace whispered. "I'm pretty sure whatever makes the coffee look like that is a banned substance in developed countries." In a normal voice. "Let's go get reality tv famous!"

* * *

At the street where they had waited for the tryouts, approximately fifty young and women were chatting and laughing, waiting for the ANTM bus that would bring them to meet Tyra and the other judges. Clary Fray was scanning the crowd for the blonde boy she'd seen, fervently wishing she had caught his name. Simon was chattering away about something involving pet rocks and the Eiffel tower. Clary was barely paying attention and missed out on the connection.

Finally she spotted _him_, he was talking to the boy and the girl that had been with him at the audition. The girl was really beautiful, and was pulling off a low cut dress like Clary never could.

She felt a stab of jealousy. The girl was the supermodel ideal. _I can't compete with that_, she thought to herself. But it wasn't the modeling competition she was referring to.

Simon finally sighed and gave up as he realized Clary was paying even less attention than usual. He looked in the direction she was staring in, and his mouth dropped open. He hadn't thought any girl could be as beautiful as Clary, but the raven haired goddess had something special about her. She stood out in this crowd of beautiful people, partly because of her obvious confidence, and Simon felt himself developing a bit of 'crush at first sight.' Since he was getting this experience, (for reasons unknown to him) he would try to find a chance to talk to the girl. It might even make Clary a little jealous.

But he doubted Clary was so focused on the girl, so he followed the direction of her intense gaze.

_Oh_, he thought his heart sinking. _It's Abercrombie boy_. It was really hard to top that.

_How is it I always end up the jealous one?_ He sighed.

* * *

Isabelle was checking out the guys in the crowd, looking for potential prospects. All the boys were _hot_ of course, but she looked for the X-factor. That little edge of danger and excitement made all the difference.

As she was thinking this, two motorcycles roared into view and skidded to a stop next to the sidewalk. They were being ridden by boys wearing helmets. The smaller of the two was wearing a button

down white shirt, the open collar revealing deeply tanned skin and some kind of pendant necklace. The tall one was clad in tight fitting black leather. He lifted off his helmet and shook out jet black hair

that contrasted sharply with pale skin. He addressed his companion.

"Well, looks like this is where the poor wannabes wait for public transportation." He smirked.

_Ding ding ding, we have a winner._ Isabelle thought to herself, smiling at the thought of this challenge.

"What a douchebag," Jace said in disgust. "…With an admittedly amazing ride. If I ever come into some serious cash, that is the first thing I'm going out and buying." He was staring at the boy's motorcycle with an expression of extreme longing.

"You'll kill yourself!" Alec said, sounding quite alarmed.

"If I had a nickel for every time you've said that Alec, I would _already_ be able to buy one."

But the blue eyed boy was too distracted to retort. "Izzy! Where are you going?"

"Bathroom. Take my stuff," she waved to Alec and Jace as she made her way through the crowd with just a pack. She needed to make a quick change. Sandra Dee was going to get the Greaser guy.

* * *

She was just getting back when a lime green bus pulled up to the sidewalk. It said "America's Next Top Model" in huge purple letters across it, with a giant Tyra face on the side. The crowd erupted

into cheers.

Simon pushed his glasses up on his nose to eye the bus critically. "I feel like that has to be one of the least manly vehicles I will ever ride in."

Clary had to agree. "It could have been pink though, so there's that."

"That's true," Simon said seriously. "Lime green is at least two power levels above pink on the badass scale."

As the hopefuls filed onto the bus, Isabelle hurried over to the motorcycle boys.

"Hola senorita," the smaller boy said, eyeing her black tank top and black leather pants. She couldn't very well ride a motorcycle in a dress could she?

"Hello," she said, smiling. She turned to the tall one that had caught her eye. "You have room for a 'wannabe' on that thing?"

His impossibly black eyes flashed with interest. "Well I don't know about that, but for a supermodel there's plenty of room. If she holds on tight."

"I think she could manage that."

"And what might her name be?"

"Isabelle."

" A beautiful name, for un bonne fille. This is Raphael," he nodded to the other boy. "…and I'm Sebastian."

* * *

Alec was working himself into a fit as he watched his sister climb on the back of a motorcycle to cling to the boy who looked like he walked right out of a photo captioned 'Bad News'.

"What does she think she's doing?! How is it possible that out of the three of us, I'm the only one with any sense?!"

"I don't know, but it must get pretty exhausting sometimes." Jace said, truly sympathizing.

"I'm going to go stop her," Alec said determinedly, but Jace caught his arm.

"You'll embarrass her. She can take care of herself." But he didn't sound as sure of his words as usual. There was something he immediately disliked about the boy. However, Isabelle was no pushover. She made mostly good decisions.

Alec wasn't convinced. He shrugged Jace off and walked briskly over to his sister.

"Isabelle, you don't know this guy." He said firmly. "You can ride the bus, and meet him there."

"And who are you to tell her what to do?" Sebastian enquired, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm her brother."

The other boy looked him up and down for a long moment. "I can see the family resemblance," he said finally, the corner of his mouth lifting.

"_Ugh_ Alec, it's not a big deal." Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Thank you for worrying, but seriously. Don't."

"She'll be fine," Sebastian said. "She can wear the helmet, and we'll stay in sight of the bus. We'll be following it. Speaking of which, you'd better catch it."

Alec looked uncertain.

"It's alright _chico," _the other boy spoke up. "Sebastian is one of the best riders there is. Su hermana está a salvo."

"English Raphael," Sebastian reminded him. "But yes, your sister will be safe. Alec."

"_You speak French all the time when it only makes you look like an asshole_.." Raphael grumbled quietly enough for no one to hear.

Alec reluctantly sighed in defeat. "I'd better see her wearing the helmet," he said finally.

"See you there." Isabelle said, giving him a look that said _go away_ _and chill._

He gave her a look that said _mom and dad would kill me if they knew about this_, before finally running to catch the bus with Jace.

* * *

"You know what?" Alec said. "This show could be your best idea ever. The two of you _need_ to be under surveillance. 24/7."

"Goodness. Another one that wants to see me in the shower." Jace drawled.

Alec coughed nervously. "Ah. Well, maybe not 24/7. More like, 23/7."

"How generous. Allowing for bathroom breaks are you?" Jace put his feet up on the seat in front of them. A curvy dark skinned girl wearing a gamer's t-shirt glared at him. Jace waggled his eyebrows at her.

She didn't look impressed.

Alec was turned around in the seat, keeping an eye on the motorcycles that were following as promised. He noticed something else.

"Jace, there's a limo following this bus."

"Really?" He turned around to look. "I wonder if it's one of the judges."

Alec squinted to read the license plate.

It said: **ILVTOFU**

"Ha! Jace did you read the plate?"

"Yeah," Jace yawned. Buses made him sleepy. "It says they love tofu. I can't imagine why. It's really really gross. My grandma likes it. Enough said."

Alec blinked. "Yeah...tofu." Wow. He had just had a dirtier mind than Jace.

Disturbing.

* * *

**The Ultimate Auditions**

Clary couldn't believe that she and Simon had were actually here. It was insane. She was pretty nervous about meeting the judges, but she was also eager for a little excitement.

She walked into an medium sized and empty room where four judges sat a table. Tyra was sporting some sort of strange blonde weave this season.

"Hi Tyra," Clary said.

"Helloooo there! You are…Clary Fray?"

"Yes."

"I'd like to introduce our judges! First, judge Seelia Queen, former model and the creator of the highly respected brand, 'Faerie'."

A beautiful red haired woman in a long and lovely silver dress nodded to Clary. "Bonjour."

"...The world renowned fashion photographer Inquisitor Aldertree…" A tiny man made a sort of squeaking noise in assent. "Oh indubitably! Certainly yes!" He said nonsensically.

"Yeah," Clary said uncertainly.

"And of course the runway diva coach extraordinaire, Ragnor Fell!" The familiar man waved.

"So Clary, why do you want to be a model?" Tyra grinned like a Cheshire cat. This was the loaded question.

"Honestly I don't really know." Clary said.

"Your mother wouldn't happen to be named Jocelyn ?" Seelia Queen asked.

"Jocelyn Fray, yes." Clary replied.

"She was one of the best. She and I took Paris by _storm_ twenty years ago."

"What?" Clary gasped.

"You didn't know your mother was a supermodel?"

"No!"

"Well, I see her in you. We'll see if you have her talent if you make the next round." The woman said it very seriously.

"Thanks Clary," Tyra dismissed her, bored of her already.

* * *

Clary exited and the next hopeful came in, a boy dressed all in black with black hair and black eyes. There was definitely a theme going on.

"Oh boy. I remember this one." Ragnor Fell said, his tone not making it clear whether this was completely a good thing.

"Name?" Tyra asked.

"Jonathon Morgenstern." His mouth quirked.

Tyra checked the list. "Jonathon is not a very model-esque name. If you make it, what would you be willing to change it to?"

"Sebastian." He said easily.

"And why that name my boy? _My_ boy? My _boy_?" Aldertree enquired.

"Cela est le nom j'utilise quand je prétends pour être français." The boy replied.

"Does he come with subtitles?" Tyra asked. "I need a translation."

Seelia Queen provided the answer. "It means, 'that is the name I use when I pretend to be French.'"

"That is correct," Sebastian bowed to her.

"The boy has charm." Seelia commented, smiling for the first time. She appreciated charm.

"Why would you pretend to be French?" Tyra asked, confused.

"Because in my previous occupation, some people found it… interesting, so to speak."

"And what was that? What were you?"

"Oh here we go…" Ragnor Fell muttered under his breath.

"A stripper." The boy replied, without the slightest hesitation.

"Oh dear, oh dear. We will have to be getting to know each other very _well_ my dear boy!" Aldertree squeaked, and nobody knew if he realized what that sounded like, or if he was just spouting one of the five phrases he knew.

Tyra continued. "A…stripper? But it says here that you're a student at Yale, on full scholarship. Why would you feel the need for that…unambitious occupation?"

"To piss off Daddy." Sebastian said casually. "And because I know how to bring in the big bucks."

"Three, two, one…" Ragnor Fell counted down.

"Would you like me to show you what I do that really brings the patrons in?"

"You might want to say no," Ragnor warned. "It will definitely have to be censored for television."

Tyra seemed to be considering it. Usually she gave female strippers a hard time, but she just didn't feel the same way about this contestant.

"Maybe if you make it." She said finally.

"I'm feeling more confident about my chances." Sebastian winked.

"Thank you. You can send the next person." Ragnor spoke for Tyra, who was fanning herself wildly and making noises.

"Au revoir," he said on his way out, blowing a kiss to Seelia Queen.

"I like him." The red head said to the other judges.

"Well it's hard to get more interesting than that one," Ragnor said wryly.

"Oh very hard, very very. _Hard_ indeed." Aldertree wriggled in his seat.

* * *

The next contestant had a tough act to follow, though she didn't really care. She was here to represent for her cause, and if people didn't like her that was tough.

"Your name is Maia?"

"Yes Tyra. It's great to meet you. I have always looked up to you as a role model." She lied.

"Thank you. Now tell me Maia, why do _you_ personally want to be a model?"

"Well, I want to represent for different body types. I'm short and curvy, but not plus size, and you don't normally see models like that. I'm also mixed race, and want to represent the beauty of that. On a more personal level, I'd like to be a role model for girls who were victims of abuse. I want to show other girls that they can recover their confidence and be whatever they want to be."

"Who abused you Maia?" Tyra thought they might get some tears for the camera.

"My brother. But he's dead."

"How did he die?" Tyra put on her doctor Phil/Oprah persona.

"I killed him." Maia replied.

"Thank you Maia, for sharing that with me. You may go."

As the girl exited, Tyra cheerfully stacked the papers on the desk in front of her. "Now _that's_ how you answer the goddamn question! No wishy washy 'I don't know' from _that_ girl!"

The other judges didn't say anything. They knew that one was in no matter what.

* * *

A boy with long hair and elven features walked in and stood in the middle of the room, looking rather bored.

"I'm Meliorn." He said without being asked.

"_Great_ look." Selia Queen complimented him. "Personally I would love to see you wearing my line."

"What race are you exactly?" Tyra asked.

"I'm foreign."

"But what foreign?"

"Very foreign."

"I think you're hiding something from me my boy! And I don't like it, it's a shame really, such a _shame_!" Aldertree shook his head sadly.

"Whatever." Meliorn responded indifferently.

"Okaaaay then. Why do you want to be a model?" Tyra continued.

"Because I deserve the best in life."

"I like your attitude," the red haired judge said, sounding like she actually meant it. "I can see you being the face of 'Faerie.'"

"Thank you, my lady." He bowed low at the waist. "I live to serve you."

"Now that's a fan," Ragnor said absently.

"Next," said Tyra.

* * *

When the next contestant walked in, Inquisitor Aldertree went ballistic.

"Hi, I'm Simon. Simon Lewis. Er, I totally didn't mean to pull a 'James Bond' just now. Sorry."

"Simon, Simon." Aldertree rubbed his hands together as if anticipating a birthday party or some other delightful event. "I will handle this one if you please, thank you!" He announced to the panel, flapping his tiny hands stuck on stubby arms. "_God help you kid_," Ragnor Fell muttered under his breath, as Tyra decided to humor the Inquisitor.

Simon smiled at the jolly little man. The judge looked pretty harmless.

Aldertree began. "We're _so_ glad-pleased, really, that you decided to cooperate with our request that you return to New York. It _does_ make everything _so_ much easier." He beamed.

"You're welcome?" Simon scratched his head in puzzlement. What, did some contestants try to hide out and have to be dragged here? The thought was comical.

Aldertree twinkled. "What did you think of the waiting room my boy?"

"Oh it was okay. The only magazines they have are girl ones though, so I had to try really search through them for anything interesting. But I learned from one of the quizzes that I'm likely to get stuck in something called the 'friend zone', so I guess that's useful to know."

"They're not meant to be torture chambers my boy, more along the lines of a space for forced reflection." Aldertree informed him.

Simon blinked. "I wasn't attempting to imply anything unethical. And I guess I _was_ reflecting on the friend zone thing-

"As you should!" Aldertree agreed wholeheartedly. "Now the question for you of course, is whether or not you know why you're like this."

"I'm sorry…like what?"

"There's nothing you would like to tell me? Not one little thing that you can think of?" Aldertree leaned forward in his seat and for a second his cheerful expression broke to show some hint of pure

insanity, but it was immediately in place again.

Enlightenment dawned on Simon. "Do you think I'm gay or something?"

"NOOOO!" Screamed the little man. "Confess your crime! CONFESS!"

"Are you sure those papers there are _my_ bio? Because I have an _embarrassingly_ perfect record." Simon felt like he was doing all the questioning. He also felt like this was the trippiest experience of his life. He was trying out to be a model while Tyra Banks watched a midget man have a complete conniption.

He started laughing, "I- I'm sorry." He gasped out. "I think I'm actually _high_ off the Tyra bus fumes. It's hilarious."

"MY boy! MY b-

Ragnor slapped his hand over the Inquisitor's mouth, mercifully silencing him.

"Oh thank god. I don't think I could have listened to that for another moment," Seelia said, rubbing her temples.

"You handled that very well Simon," Tyra complimented him with a huge plastic smile. "We'll take that into consideration when we make our final decision about who gets to go on in the competition to be America's. Next. Top. Model. You may go."

"Just so you know, they'll edit that for tv so it makes you look really badass." Ragnor assured the confused boy.

Simon blinked several times, shaking his head as if to clear it as he exited.

* * *

Tyra put her head down on the desk. "Cut the cameras. I need a break. And for _Tyra's_ sake, somebody get the little man his GODDAMN MEDS!"

Simon wandered out into the waiting room and sat next to Clary. "Clary I'd like to ask you something, because I think I might be high. Is there a little man in there?"

* * *

**Okay well I thought that was fun. I hope you did! Tell me what you think.**

**Thankyou sooo much to: evaishere, hockey87, somecrazyshit, gabrielle26, JaceWaylandFan, katara-alchemist and vc!**

**MagnusSpark your review was great! They All were. Thanks again. :)**


	3. Teenage Ken doll

**Hi again. I do not own ANTM, 'The Mortal Instruments', or any of the characters.**

**I see there are Magnus fans here! 3 Don't worry. I'm just as eager for some Alec and Magnus action as y'all are. XD **

…**just curious, does anyone here like Clary? I try to. I really try. And still I fail.**

**If you like her you might want to let me know, hint hint. ;)**

* * *

**The Auditions Continue**

Jace sauntered into the judging room, tempted to wave at the cameras but just managing to resist.

"Hello Tyra, hello Seelia. You are even more beautiful in person than you are on television. In fact all of you judges are looking great."

Aldertree was snoring on the desk from the heavy sedative he'd been given.

"Don't worry, he appreciates the compliment just the same." Ragnor informed the blonde boy, who was looking at the little man with an eyebrow raised.

"Well aren't you sweet," Tyra smiled. "You're Jonathon?"

"I like to be called Jace, actually."

"I like that!" Tyra exclaimed. "It rhymes with ace, and race and 'booooy you got a cute face! And butt!"

"Well what do you know, it really does rhyme. At least on some level." Jace wasn't going to argue.

"Can you tell us something about yourself?" Tyra asked.

Jace decided now was the time to really be interesting.

"Well, I have a tragic past. Incredibly tragic."

Tyra was _quite_ hooked, and her inner Dr. Phil resurfaced. "Now sometimes people look so happy and beautiful, but that doesn't mean that they're not hurting inside. Someone like you, people look at you and say 'oh he's a teenage Ken doll,' he doesn't have aaaaany problems. But you do, you're all broken inside, and you're trying to recover from being hurt. Now _that's_ beautiful."

"Exactly." Jace said, shaking his head sadly, milking this for all it was worth. "I'm like a Ken doll that had its arm broken off, and maybe its head got chewed on by a dog or something. But still it survived, and so did I. And maybe now, that Ken doll has a new leg. Maybe one with joints, so it can bend its knee or whatever. And it can pose better than ever before so it wants to be a model, and realize its dream." He thought that speech was as least as good as Tyra's, and was inwardly pleased.

"Isn't this all rather irrelevant-" Seelia began, but then she saw Tyra was flashing her the Glare of Death and fell silent.

"Tell me what happened to you that you feel this _pain_," Tyra encouraged him. She was thinking what a great idea it was to include boys in this. If a boy broke down crying it would be ten times as dramatic as when those unstable girls did.

Jace began. "My parents died when I was a baby. I never knew them, and I was put in an orphanage. I went in and out of different foster homes for ten years, until my grandmother found out about me. This was when the_ real_ hardships began…I'm just kidding, I love you to death grandma Imogen!" He finally gave in to the urge to wave at the cameras.

"I can see the strength in you." Tyra said, dead serious. "_That_ is where the beauty comes from. _That_ is what is going to help you in the world of modeling."

"Those abs I know you've got aren't going to hurt your prospects either," Ragnor put in.

Seelia looked annoyed. "We could be _looking_ at them instead of listening to this nonsense," she muttered.

"Thank you for your votes of confidence," Jace smiled.

Inquisitor Aldertree stirred a bit in his sleep, his stubby arms flailing a bit. "I hear…a boy. My…my…mine." He started snoring and slumped again.

Jace blinked. "I'm going to choose to take that to mean unanimous votes of confidence!"

"That is generous of you Jace," Tyra smiled tightly. "You may go."

* * *

Isabelle had changed back to the white dress for the judging, not wanting to be labeled immediately as _that_ girl. She passed Jace on her way in. He looked extremely pleased, so she assumed it had gone well. _He totally pulled the tragic past card_. She thought to herself. _That shameless and reality tv savvy little…_

"Hellooooo there!" Tyra greeted her. "You're Isabelle Lightwood?"

"Yes. Hi everyone. I'm very happy to be here."

"We're happy to have you here," Ragnor said. "_Makeup looks good_," he mouthed silently to her.

Tyra checked the list. "It looks like we have another Lightwood coming in today. Is that a relative of yours?"

"That would be my brother Alec."

"You're the best girl we've seen yet," Seelia said quickly, before the interview could degenerate into some sort of sibling drama she knew Tyra would love to create. "I feel like you could walk out of here and book a job with an agency. And I _don't_ say that often."

"I'm truly flattered. Thank you so much." Isabelle beamed.

"Girl, you _fiiiierce_." Was Tyra's interpretation, as she pronounced the word like 'feee-us'. "But you need to be careful you don't rest on pretty. A model has to have the passion and determination for the hard work."

"I work very hard. I'm an honor student, and a nationally ranked soccer player."

"As an athlete, do you think you could take the boys here in a fight?" Was Tyra's question for her.

Isabelle considered. "Probably all but two or three. But I can take all of them in this competition."

"Girl you fiiiierce!" Tyra said again. "Thank you Isabelle. That is highly prized in this competition to become America's. Next. Top. Model. You're excused."

Isabelle did the Z snap of fierceness, then curtsied slightly and thanked the judges.

"…Not a boy," muttered Aldertree, who hadn't bothered to rouse himself.

* * *

Alec was hesitating at the door, but Isabelle shoved him into the judging room on her way out. Apparently she hadn't trusted him to enter on his own.

There were so many cameras! What the hell had he been thinking? He tried to focus on the judges instead. That didn't help too much.

"Hey."

"Well hello Alec!" Tyra Banks was grinning at him. "We just saw your sister, and hon, you're just as pretty! I sense some sibling rivalry coming up!"

"You do have a great look," Seelia agreed. "You could walk the runways in Europe, or I could see you going Burberry."

"He's too cute for Burberry, they all look half stoned. He's so fresh." Ragnor insisted. "Wish I could have seen his body, but it looks adorable from what I can discern through those baggy clothes."

Alec blushed fiercely and crossed his arms over his chest. He wanted to say something to take control of this situation, but didn't know what.

"Um. Thanks." He said in a small voice.

Aldertree's head snapped up like he was a zombie reanimated. "Alexander my dear boy! How is the family?"

Alec felt and looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "Sir, do I know you…?"

"Oh my goodness!" Tyra exclaimed. "_Sir_? You _are_ adorable. You're so virginal! You need to be corrupted a bit…"

"Some must be sacrificed," Aldertree agreed, smiling evilly and bouncing up and down a little.

"Thank you Alec," Seelia cut in. She did _not_ want to see a repeat of the glasses kid incident. "Go on out of here, quickly now."

Alec was only too happy to comply. "Oh my God, thank you," he said, truly meaning it. He practically ran out of the room.

"I didn't get to question him!" Aldertree protested, harrumphing in annoyance. "And I feel like I missed one." He glared around at the other judges, his gaze heavy with suspicion.

"You were tired," Ragnor told him.

Aldertree did not look appeased. "The rest of the Council is rebelling against me," he muttered, ducking down behind the desk to peer at them from his hiding spot.

"Send in a girl," Tyra said, tempted to bang her head on the desk again.

* * *

A striking Asian girl passed Alec on his way out. Back in the waiting room, he breathed a sigh of relief. At least he hadn't needed to answer any questions. Why was he so damn self conscious?

He noticed that Jace had switched seats, and was now talking animatedly with a small red haired girl, while a boy with glasses glared daggers at him. He caught snatches of the conversation.

"..and that's when I had to take on all ten of them and their guns, with just my bare hands," Jace was prattling on. Alec shook his head, and wondered if that was even _inspired_ by a true story.

Isabelle was very nearly in the lap of some guy with long hair, and she'd made it pretty clear that Alec was not to bother her.

He sat down by himself. He was very aware of the fact that Jace and Isabelle were having a great time and he was sitting alone.

He sunk down in the seat, thinking, _That happens way too much._

Being in front of all those cameras had done something to him. He felt drunk on adrenaline, and his heart was still pounding away. And seeing Jace with that red haired girl was way too much right now.

He had just stood up in front of the entire country, well, at least the entire portion of America's Next Top Model Fans. He had survived, so why couldn't he do this?

He could.

Alec stood, and feeling more afraid than he ever felt in his life, he walked up to Jace.

"Excuse me," he said to the girl, and then turned to Jace. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

The golden eyed boy looked torn. "Do we have to talk _now_?"

"Well I guess not…actually yes we do. It's important."

Jace tore his attention away from the girl he'd been talking to. "Always in demand," he mumbled, but got up to follow Alec. "I'll see you Clary."

Alec was striding purposefully down the hall to find somewhere he could talk without anybody listening. If they actually made this dumb show, they'd be on camera for the next three months almost at all times.

Finally, finding a second bathroom no one was likely to walk into, Alec walked in and Jace followed.

"Wow Alec. I feel like you're dragging me off for some illicit affair or something. Now is an odd time to choose, but I guess this is pretty nice as far as bathrooms go-

Alec slammed his hand down on the sink counter, surprising them both. "Dammnit Jace. Why are you always saying things like that to me?"

Jace looked totally confused. He ran a hand through his hair in a nervous fashion. "Saying things like what to you?"

Alec took a few deep breaths. "You're always saying things that…it sounds like you're coming on to me sometimes. It makes me, it's so-" He almost couldn't go on when he saw his friends' expression. He looked so completely shocked that it was like a knife in the guts. But Alec was past the point of no return.

"I…I'm gay. I understand if you don't want to be friends with me knowing that, but I… care about you okay? And I just want to know…why you say those things." Alec leaned against the wall, breathing hard.

There. He'd gotten it out at least. But if he'd expected it to feel good, he was wrong. He felt terrible, and like he wanted to go throw himself in front of a bus. Maybe the Tyra bus. Might as well go out in complete humiliation, with the way Jace was looking at him, and not even saying anything.

"Oh." Jace seemed to be trying to collect himself. "Oh."

"I'm sorry." Alec said stiffly, and moved towards the door. He was going to get out of here, and just go somewhere else. Anywhere else.

"Wait! Alec wait," Jace caught his arm. "_I'm_ sorry. I suck."

"No-

"Yes I do. I think of you as a best friend. I'm just weird. I have a weird sense of humor. I didn't realize what that would seem like." He paused. "I guess I was sort of being a cock-tease, without realizing it I mean."

Alec groaned and banged his head against the wall. "This is the most fucking awkward thing ever!"

Jace considered. "Eh. I'm sure there are more awkward situations. And you being gay doesn't change anything. I would _really _suck if it did. You're my best friend forever no matter what. Who else is going to keep me from dying at any given moment?"

Alec finally managed to smile a little bit. "Your grandma does a pretty good job keeping you out of trouble."

"My grandma? She's just as likely to kill me herself!" He smiled back at Alec. "Would it be insanely awkward if I hugged you right now?"

"Yeah. That would pretty much surpass all previously known definitions of awkward."

"Okay. Not for me though."

Alec tried to let the tension bleed out of him. "We should go back. Isabelle is going to wonder what happened to us."

"She seemed pretty preoccupied, but yeah. You know, I think I'm really going to make it into this thing, and it's going to be so awesome living in the model house. I really hope they have a pool this time and not just one of those Jacuzzi things like in season eight…

Jace continued to talk incessantly as they walked back to the waiting room. Alec wasn't really able to concentrate on it. He wasn't sure what he was feeling. He was embarrassed, and relieved, and also sad. Yet, he also felt lighter than he'd ever felt.

He felt like doing something stupid and fun. Maybe this show could be it.

* * *

In the parking lot, a long black limo was pulling in. It had followed the bus, but then made a few stops to pick up last minute things. A young man was arriving for judging fashionably late. He let himself out of the back of the car when it stopped along the side of the building, not bothering to wait for the door to be opened for him. He waved to the driver, the gesture almost a lazy salute, and the limo went to park.

His spiked hair was impervious to the breeze picking up, but his scarf didn't fare the same, and it whipped around his face. With a very long legged gait, he approached the doors. The security guard checked his papers and asked his name.

The boy jammed fingerless gloved hands into the pockets of leather pants, and smiled confidently.

"Magnus Bane."

* * *

**Okay you guys, I swear there will be more of Magnus next time. Next chapter: The models move into the house! That should be fun right? I know this chapter was more serious, but it had to happen. ;)**

**Thank you soooo much to; evaishere, MortalInstruments, AzaleeCharlin, summerchic40, ellenfp, anon, Ech1317, funkey monkey, and 'umIcan'tthinkofanything' for reviewing!**

**Pawfoot: Glad you like Sebastian. He's way too fun.**

**MagnusSpark: Oh no! Not the threat of spam! XD**

**Gabrielle26: Glad you like stripper Sebastian!**

**Jazzxbean: I have a dirty mind too haha.**

**Lost-in-thoughts-15: glad you laughed! Your profile is cool. :)**


	4. One bed drama

**Hello Everyone. :) Happy belated thanksgiving. I hope you enjoy the chapter! I do not own the book, the characters, or the show. **

* * *

Clary turned to Simon. "I wonder what that was all about." the golden haired boy, Jace, his name was, had actually come up and talked to her. Then his friend had stolen him away.

Simon didn't look very disappointed about it. "Well it's not really our business is it?"

"It looked like he didn't want to go though. He wanted to talk to me, he actually _wanted_ to. Isn't that amazing?"

Simon pushed his glasses up on his nose. "Clary I happen to talk to you all the time. Maybe if you listened to me every once in a while you would notice."

She flashed him a look. "What's gotten into you all the sudden? I do listen to you. I'm sorry that I can't focus on pet rocks and the Eiffel tower at every moment. It's not all that interesting to me."

Simon was hurt. "Oh no, _I'm_ sorry Clary. I'm sorry that I don't spout _lies_ to you about taking on the New York mafia with just my bare hands."

"You don't even know that was a lie," Clary said defensively. "You don't know everything about… everything all the time!"

Simon rolled his eyes. "And here I thought I thought I was a dictionary and an encyclopedia in human form. But really, I am a guy. And I _know_ that he was saying those things because he wants to get into your pants!" He whispered angrily.

The small redhead looked disgusted. "I don't know why you can't be happy for me. I'm allowed to talk to people other than you."

At that moment a boy with charcoal black eyes and way too much leather plunked down in the seat on Clary's other side.

"I'm not interrupting a lover's spat now am I?" He smiled at Clary, and ran a gloved finger absently up and down the arm rest.

Simon had had enough. "Oh no, of course not. You two have fun. You look ridiculous enough to be _interesting_." He stomped off.

Sebastian watched him go with a quizzical expression on his perfect features. "I have never," he decided, "…seen a guy who needed to get laid as much as that one. And considering my line of work that is pretty astounding."

"What?" Clary blinked. "What line of work?"

Suddenly Jace appeared on her other side. "Sorry Clary, I'm back. Now what was I saying? Oh yes. That was when they set the dogs on me, and I knew I had to get up on the roof-

"Excuse me Rambo, but you're interrupting our conversation." Sebastian tapped a booted foot in annoyance.

Jace hadn't noticed the other boy sitting there. "Didn't you have glasses before?"

"That one fled to have a hissy fit about his utter lack of game."

"Oh. Yeah, you're that dou-dude, with the motorcycle. Well in that case you should know you're interrupting _our_ conversation, because I just stepped out for a moment."

"How sad for you," Sebastian said. "Anyway, Clary is it? I'm Sebastian. And as for your question, I strip."

Jace looked completely scandalized. "Hey, Clary's a nice girl! She doesn't want to hear that. Plus, that's so gross! Nobody wants to see you naked!"

"Cold hard cash says otherwise," Sebastian crossed one ankle over the other and stretched his long legs out. "But enough about me, for now. Tell me about _you_ Clary." His eyes smoldered when they met hers.

She was slightly overwhelmed. "I like drawing. Did you just say that you-

"Don't make him say it again," Jace said quickly. He'd just gotten the horrifying images out of his head. "Drawing is cool. You can tell people something about yourself doing it. I like playing the piano, and it's sort of the same. The piano is able to communicate the simplest universal truths through wood, metal, and vibrating air."

"Wow," Said Sebastian. "Every day I learn something that I don't give a fuck about."

"Some people just aren't cultured," Jace stage whispered to Clary, as if sharing a secret.

"Your zipper is down," Sebastian stage whispered to Jace, as if sharing a secret.

"No it isn't," said Clary, who had immediately looked.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow, looking satisfied. "Nice girl eh?"

* * *

Alec was realizing that though it was a good thing he'd come out to Jace, it was also the kind of thing he never wanted to think about again. _'It's like you're coming on to me?'_ _Oh my God, shut up brain_.

He attempted to distract himself by staring out the window. The room had a wall that was practically all glass, and it offered a view of the parking lot. That wouldn't normally be interesting in any way, but a limo was pulling in. Alec squinted and managed to make out that the plate identified it as the limo he'd seen earlier. A tall young man stepped out of it and started towards the building with a long legged gait.

_Really_ long legged. And those leather pants were so tight Alec was amazed the boy was managing to fit his hands in his pockets…

But of course he was noticing this in a completely objective way. He wasn't staring or anything like that-

At that moment some kid with glasses sat down next to him.

"Ah!" Alec was startled.

"Hi. I'm Simon. Simon Lew- agh, you don't care what my last name is." Simon thought that the boy in the blue shirt looked fairly sensible, and he had taken 'Jace' away from Clary, if only for a moment. So Simon was grateful for that. _Too bad I didn't make the most of that brief window of opportunity_, he thought to himself.

The kid gave him a weird look. "Did you want something?"

Simon thought about it. "Well you wouldn't happen to know how to get out of the friend zone would you?"

"I don't know what that means."

"When you like someone, and you think you're being really obvious about it, but they don't get it. You're just stuck as 'the best friend'. You're friend-zoned."

The boy rubbed his temples. "I don't think I can deal with this right now."

"Okay, just…tell me one thing." Simon snuck a glance back at Clary and her two suitors. "Is your friend an honorable person?"

Alec realized this kid was going to persist in talking to him, and he hadn't said what his name was. He wondered if it was too awkward to mention it now. He decided it was. Besides, his brain was buzzing and he actually wanted to sit alone, just to think things out. Maybe the kid would go away soon if he wasn't friendly. "You mean Jace?"

"Like that's really his real name. But yes."

"Yeah. He has a good heart." _Impossible to find anyone better._

"Of course he has a good heart," Simon grumbled. "Has to match his perfect pecs after all…"

"W-_WHAT_?" Alec's face twisted in shock. "Are you _checking him out_?"

"NO! I just…wanted to know if he had good intenti-

Alec's expression was a perfect storm of pissed off protectiveness. "I think it's time for you to go."

"I swear! I really just-

"I said. You. Should _go_. Now."

Simon had never been in a fight in his life, but he didn't consider himself to be completely useless. He had watched Fight Club after all. And yet, there was something in this skinny boy's icy eyes that told Simon he'd probably get the crap kicked out of him in a confrontation.

"I'm leaving," he said, quickly standing up. "Back to my friend zone I go!" He walked back to the other end of the large and noisy room, eager to escape with his life and some shred of dignity.

* * *

Isabelle was in such a good mood, and it seemed her brother was in the opposite state of mind, judging by his almost laughably cute attempt to look forbidding. She plunked down next to him, her cheeks flushed from a quick make out session in the hall with Meliorn.

"Hi Alec. Are you scaring people again?" She teased him. "Don't be grumpy."

"I'm not grumpy. That kid was really annoying." He protested.

She sighed. "You have to be more social."

"I try to be."

"Try harder." She said simply, patting him on the head. "I know you can do it."

Suddenly everyone's attention was on the door to the judging room. It had opened once again, but instead of admitting another contestant, Seelia Queen stood in the doorway.

"Can I have everyone's attention please," she announced to the suddenly silent room. The lovely woman waited until she was sure all eyes were on her.

"The judges have seen everyone here, and we've made our decisions." By that she meant that Tyra had made 90% of the decisions while the other judges could beg for their favorites, but at any rate, the decisions had been made. "I'm going to be honest with all of you. Making it as a model, really making it, is something many dream of and very few actually achieve. If your name is on this list, it means we believe you have a chance at being one of those few. If you don't see your name, thank you for coming. You are dismissed. If you do, you can walk down that hallway," she gestured, "and meet Tyra on the patio. She'll announce who has made this cycle. I'd wish you luck, but it's really not about that."

Everyone was totally transfixed. This woman commanded a presence that rivaled even Tyra's, and it was easy to see how she'd been a world famous supermodel. That powerful, almost austere, presence was the only thing that kept everyone in their seats as she hung up the list. As soon as she'd exited down the same hallway that the chosen ones would soon walk, the mob moved.

Sebastian was first at the list, partly because he was quick and partly because he didn't hesitate to falcon punch anyone that shoved him or even just got in his way.

"Hahahahaha!" he laughed evilly. "I mean, ha. How unsurprising that I'm on the list. Raphael! You made it too."

The small boy woke from his day nap. "Que? Oh, fantastic." He put his head back down and went back to sleep.

Clary hung back, completely unable to shove her way through the dense pack of desperate hopefuls. Suddenly Jace crawled out from underneath some girl's legs. "You made it Clary! We both did!" he beamed, looking up at her from the floor. The girl whose legs he'd crawled under kicked him...where it really hurts a guy.

"OWowooow!" he groaned, glaring up at the girl who kicked him. "God, it's not like you were wearing a skirt!"

"Damn pretty boys," Maia spat. "They think they can get away with anything."

Jace tried to be a man and recover. "I feel no pain," he said aloud. "I am a rock." It helped a little.

Clary helped him up. "Then we'd better go out to the patio. We still have to get through Tyra."

"Alec come on!" Jace called out. "You're on the list! Oh, and you too Izzy," she had appeared at his shoulder.

"Already checked it," she said.

"Did you crawl through the crowd too? _That's_ a risk I'll never take again." He shuddered.

"No, of course not. Sebastian cleared the way. Now, let's do as the pixie says and get out there."

* * *

It wasn't until everyone was lined up nicely outside that Tyra appeared, the other three judges in the background behind her.

She began. "And we're rolling. Hello everyone! Now, all of you here have potential. But only eleven can carry in with the hopes of becoming America's. Next. Top. Model."

Everyone was feeling tense with anticipation, except for maybe Meliorn, who just looked bored. And also Raphael, who was waking up.

"The first contestant that will be going on is…… Isabelle."

Isabelle pretended to look shocked as she came forward to stand by Tyra. She wondered if being named first meant she was a favorite. Still, there was a lot of competition to go.

Tyra continued to read out the rest of the names, as one by one they came forward.

"Sebastian."

"Jace."

"Clary."

"Aline."

"Alec."

"Magnus."

"Meliorn."

"Maia."

"Raphael."

The tension was unbearable now for the people left.

"Only one more may continue on in the hopes of becoming America's. Next. Top. Model."

As if they hadn't been keeping track.

"…and that person is…..Simon!"

Simon stepped forward, truly amazed. With the way things had been going today, he'd been sure he wasn't going to get through.

"Congratulations," the dark haired goddess with the white dress whispered to him.

Simon was so dazzled, he almost forgot about Clary for a second.

Once the crying failures had their moment of camera time and were gotten rid of, Tyra continued with the specifics.

"Congratulations all of you. You are the eleven contestants that will compete this cycle. It's going to be a long and difficult journey, but by the end, the entire country will know who is on top. From here you will go on to the model mansion, where your actions will be filmed. Don't let this stop you from being yourselves though, the viewers sympathize with people that seem _real_."

"Cameras in the shower my boys," was Aldertree's contribution, as he giggled wildly.

"…there are no cameras in the shower. Or anywhere in the bathrooms." Tyra corrected.

Aldertree didn't look at all put out. "The foolish Council is unaware of my perfect plan," the tiny man rubbed his hands together, and ducked behind a bush to hide his _excitement_.

Alec made a mental note to closely examine the shower.

Simon made a mental note to avoid taking a shower.

Sebastian made a mental note to put on a show in the shower. Aldertree was a judge after all.

"Don't worry," Ragnor informed the contestants. "We found all the cameras he put in the bathrooms. All sixty seven of them."

A howl came from the bush. "Noooo! My authority! Look how these _fools_ usurp it!"

"To the mansion!" Tyra exclaimed. "Anyone who brought their own transportation, you may use it to get there. After this you'll ride in the America's Next Top Model limo at all times. Now, get going!"

There was a mad dash to the parking lot, and people started to pile into the Tyra limo.

"Of course it's pink," Simon shook his head.

Alec watched the tall spiky haired boy walk over to his own black limo. Those pants were tight… everywhere. That was for sure. But he was noticing that purely objectively..._oh screw it no way was that objective Alec!_

Perhaps the boy felt eyes on him, because he turned around and met Alec's eyes. His eyebrows jerked up once, and he smiled. "Would you like a ride?" He opened the back door, and looked questioningly at Alec. "There's plenty of room."

Alec stood there stuttering. "Uh, I…well,"

Isabelle grabbed him and yanked him into the Tyra limo. "Hey, you don't _know_ that guy Alec. You can ride with _us_ and meet him there." Her brother could socialize later. Revenge was sweet.

Meanwhile, Jace wasn't having the same problem with excessive hesitation. "Hey I want to ride in it!" he called out to the boy.

"Sorry. This offer is limited." Magnus got in and shut the door.

"Oh yeah?!" Jace shouted at the retreating vehicle. "Well... tofu is totally DISGUSTING!"

* * *

When the Tyra limo arrived at the mansion, Alec was totally unprepared for the wild stampede into the house. He was a track star, and was left in the dust.

Jace and Sebastian were racing to be the first in the house. Sebastian tried to trip the other boy, but Jace avoided it. "Hey you jerk!" Jace shouted, shoving Sebastian. "Don't you try and trip me!"

Sebastian shoved him back, harder, "Well don't shove _me_, piano man."

They stopped to glare at each other.

"What are you doing with Clary?" Jace spoke first. "I thought you liked Isabelle."

"Isabelle's gorgeous, no argument there. But sometimes it's amusing to have a little fun with the ones that are a little more…virginal."

An angry and dangerous glint lit Jace's golden eyes. "Don't you _dare_ talk about _either_ of them like that." He said quietly. "Have some respect."

"I dare. That little redhead _wants_ it-

Jace's fist slammed into Sebastian's face and knocked him flat. "I told you," he gritted out, "not to _talk_ about her like that."

Sebastian looked shocked that he'd been hit. "You…you little bitch! Not the _face_!!! _Not the fucking face!!_" He launched himself from his prone position to tackle Jace. Both of them forgot about getting into the house. Everybody had gone in already anyway.

Jace tried to block the blows that were raining down on him. Sebastian was shockingly fierce.

"This…face…is worth…even more than …this ass!" The dark haired boy was practically screaming as he punched.

Quickly, Jace managed to get his legs up and around his attacker; he threw him off and jumped to his feet. He wasn't going to be caught off guard again.

Sebastian threw a punch, but Jace ducked. He whipped his leg out and knocked Sebastian off his feet. From the ground, Sebastian aimed a kick at Jace's groin.

Jace moved in time and took the blow on his thigh. "That was low," he spat. "I guess I should've expected it from you."

Sebastian scrambled to his feet. They resumed glaring at each other.

"You're not worth the effort," Sebastian decided, backing off. "But don't think I'm not _certain_ I could take you angel boy."

"I'm certain you _can't_."

Still watching each other, they picked up their bags and walked into the house.

* * *

Meanwhile, the other contestants were figuring out their housing arrangements. Raphael saw a room with a bunk bed, and ran in. "I call the top bunk!" he shouted. "Bwahahaha!" he practically flew up there, and started jumping up and down. He was short enough and the ceiling high enough that he could jump as high as he wanted without hitting his head. "I can keep my eye on all of you from up here!"

Simon scratched his head as he watched the spectacle. _He must be a night person_, he thought. It was amazing how lively Raphael had suddenly become.

The opposite of lively, Meliorn had staked his claim on the regular bed in the room. He had covered his head with a pillow, and seemed to be trying to go to sleep already.

Simon set his bag on the bottom bunk and sat down on it. Raphael's upside down head appeared to peer at him. "I've got my eye on you daylighter. You'd better watch it."

"What the...?" But Raphael's head had disappeared, and Simon felt the bed shaking from him jumping on it. "I seem to rub people the wrong way," Simon realized, finally enlightened.

* * *

Alec wandered back and forth from room to room, trying to find somewhere suitable. The girls had paired up to take two rooms. He peeked in one of the empty rooms. It held one big bed.

_What kind of show is this? _He quickly ducked out of that room. Sleeping there would mean sharing with either Jace or Sebastian, who still had yet to come in for some reason. It was hard to say which would be worse.

He heard the sound of furniture being moved in the room at the end of the hall, and decided to check that one out. Upon entering, he immediately tripped on something, and fell forward.

He probably would have fallen on his face if he hadn't been caught by someone. Instinctively, he braced himself by grabbing onto the slim body. His eyes went up to meet golden green ones. They contrasted so interestingly with their owners tanned and slightly Asian features.

"Falling for me?" the boy teased. "I'm sorry, I know there's a lot of stuff on the floor."

If he had looked, Alec would have seen he tripped over a hairdryer. But he was too distracted by the realization that his arms were wrapped around the boy's back, while the boy's hands lightly braced his shoulders.

"Sorry," Alec said, standing up quickly.

"What are you apologizing for? Oh, hold on a second darling," The boy bent to untangle a hairdryer cord from Alec's leg. "There. You're all set now."

Alec was sure he was blushing like crazy. Curse his pale skin.

He cleared his throat. "Would you mind if- could I stay here? I mean there are no other rooms," he said quickly. Well, no other rooms with twin beds.

"Of course you can stay. It's not really up to me, but if it was I'd say, of COURSE you can stay. You'll just have to put up with this crazy mess I've made in here," Magnus surveyed the room with a critical eye. The floor was covered with ornate oriental throw rugs, and there was mismatching furniture, clothes, styling products, and random throw pillows everywhere. "I'm Magnus."

"Alec." There. He'd said his name at the appropriate moment this time. He held out his hand.

"Ah, the old fashioned type, that's refreshing." Magnus smiled and shook Alec's hand firmly. "Nice handshake." He winked, so quick and subtle Alec wasn't quite sure it was a wink at all.

"Oh, you too." Alec said, touching his own hand with the other.

"Well, make yourself at home. You can see I have. I plan on sticking around for a while." Magnus said, and started throwing armfuls of clothes into an armoire without bothering to fold or sort them in any way.

Alec dropped his bag in the corner (he'd only taken the one) and flopped down on the bed on the right side, testing it. He stretched out, and arched his back a bit. The mattress was a little softer than he was used to, but he could adjust.

He looked up to see Magnus completely focused on him, his 'organizing' apparently forgotten. Alec sat up hastily, and felt a bit dizzy. Most likely from the sudden movement.

"Don't mind me," Magnus said quickly, going back to what he was doing. "I'm a little spacey right now. It's the jet lag. Time zones are such pesky things you know. I would do away with them if I could."

"Oh, that sucks."

"Mm."

"Well, I guess I'm going to take a shower. Are you all unpacked in the bathroom?"

Magnus made a face at the thought of tackling the bathroom. "I can deal with that later. Or never. Depends on how I feel about it after getting some sleep."

"Okay," said Alec. He started unpacking his clothes for bed as well as a towel and shower things. "I can help you with your stuff afterward."

"Thank you, especially after you've seen what you're getting into with _that_ offer." The tall boy started beating on a stubborn drawer that refused to shut.

Alec smiled and shook his head. _I'm still not sure I know what I'm getting into._

* * *

Jace and Sebastian had dragged their battered bodies up the stairs, and were scouting out whatever was left as far as housing space.

Jace's mouth dropped open in horror when he looked into the remaining space. "Oh my god. Not the one bed drama."

Sebastian had his own comment on the matter. "What the fuck is this shit?"

* * *

**Hope you guys liked! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT REVIEWED!!!**

**Thanks to: anon, no name, hi!**

**evaishere: you reviewed so quick! I want to fangirl hug Alec too. I'm glad Aldertree amuses you!**

**Lost in thought 15- yeah Alec totally needed a coming out scene!**

**daemoninwhite-so glad you laughed!**

**azalee charlin- what a nice compliment. :)**

**MagnusSpark- there was eye raping. i swear. I think it was on both sides though! :D**

**Pawfoot- another Alec fan in the house!**

**GlamourMurderer-cool name, and cool review. Jace fans in the house!**

**katara-alchemist- so glad Aldertree amuses you. He is an amusing man. also, thx!**

**city-of bones-fan- I updated for the sake of your health! Thanks for the very nice review, i hope you liked.**

**Little-Bells- glad you appreciate the update rate! and I still do not know who's going to win.**

**LA-El-AS-there will toally be more Malec. thx!**


	5. Fighting labels

**Hey everybody. :) **

**Thanks for all the feedback. I definitely take it into account, and you might see your review influencing what's in the chapter.**

**This chapter is dedicated to daemoninwhite, for giving me the word 'perving.' How did I get through eighteen years without using that word on a daily basis? I do not know. Thx for your nice review!**

* * *

Sebastian was still trying to grasp this ridiculous concept. "So we were supposed to argue with everyone else about who would get stuck with this?" He gestured to the bed as the 'this' he was referring to.

"Yeah. That's how it usually goes down on the show." Jace informed him, looking forlorn.

Sebastian considered. "So this is your fault."

"How the hell is it my fault?!"

"You _punched_ me you moron."

"You deserved it. And you don't even have to worry about it, because there's no way I'm sharing with you."

"You're leaving then? Goodbye."

"I'm staying right here. You can just sleep on the floor like the animal you are. Maybe I'll even let you have the _foot_ of the bed. That's about all you deserve." Jace spat.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "As much as I'm sure that thought excites you in your pants, there's no fucking way. Now: I'm going to get cleaned up, and you're going to figure out how not to be a little bitch. Sharing is caring."

With that, the dark haired boy took one of his bags and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door.

Jace was quietly seething. But quietly seething wasn't his usual style, really. He kind of wanted to punch out the window.

_Alternatively, I can go bother Alec_, he realized. There were no house rules against that.

It was nearing eleven o clock, and after a really long and exhausting day, a lot of the contestants were already turning in. _I can sneak there in stealth mode_, he decided, creeping out into the hallway. _I am the master of stealth. If I don't want anyone to see me, then I'm just not going to be seen- _

"Why are you crawling around in the hallway?" A girl's voice interrupted his internal monologue.

He stood up quickly. "Clary! You can see me!"

She looked confused. "Of course I can see you. But I can't see a reason for what you're doing."

"I was just checking if the hallway was safe. You can relax, it's all clear."

"Oh thank goodness," she said, as she stepped down the first stair and paused. "I was worried the journey down to the kitchen might involve demon or zombie encounters. I can't think of any other reason Isabelle would make me go check for food instead of doing it herself." She shook her head and shrugged. "I don't really mind. Isn't it amazing just being here?"

"It is," he agreed. "Amazing."

"Anyway…in case I don't find you 'checking' the hallway on my way back… goodnight Jace." She threw a smile over her shoulder before starting down the stairs.

_She said goodnight to me, _Jace sat back against the wall and sighed. Goodnight was such a mundane and everyday word. But somehow, with Clary saying it to him in the quiet of a darkened hallway, when they were living in the _same house_, well… it sent a bit of a shiver up his spine.

"Oh Clary," he said to the hallway, or maybe to the framed photo of Tyra that hung across from him. "Do you know what you do to me? The way you say goodnight, it's like you're saying, 'I want to say goodnight to you every night Jace.'!"

He began rolling on the floor and saying 'yes!' in a fan-boyish fashion. "The way you say goodnight it's like…hey wait did she say she's going to let _Isabelle_ at our food?! Now _that's_ just-

"SOMEONE NEEDS TO SHUT THE HELL UP IN THE HALLWAY!!!" An angry voice exclaimed from a nearby room.

Jace fell silent as a boy appeared in the nearest doorway, his long hair sticking up in different directions. He glared down at Jace with a tired but clearly pissed expression on his face. "You made me get out of bed, and I do not like to do that. _Do you understand_?"

"Okay, okay, sorry. I'll go back to being stealthy." Jace replied.

"You do that. Just because this other idiot in here doesn't sleep doesn't mean I shouldn't get to."

Jace heard a voice call out from inside the room. "…Meliorn! I bet you twenty bucks I could jump onto your bed from here!"

The door slammed shut.

Jace started crawling down the hallway again, intent on his 'go bother Alec' mission.

He never failed.

* * *

Magnus was trying to convince himself that it wasn't going to be completely distracting that the cutest boy here-hell, the cutest boy he'd ever seen, was going to be living with him. There was something that was so immediately endearing about Alec. The way he'd felt he had to shake hands for example, or his obvious shyness in asking to stay. But Magnus had been sure he could handle it.

That is, until the blue eyed boy had started _arching_ _his back_ on the bed like that. That was definitely distracting. His mind had gone straight to the gutter.

Though he did hate that saying. What was so dirty about imagining the cute boy squirming in unimaginable pleasure? That was a rather beautiful image.

_Because it was obvious he didn't even know what he was doing, and you are _totally _perving on him._ Magnus reminded himself, as he idly kicked a few shampoo bottles under the bed to clear the floor enough to sit.

_He was definitely checking out me out earlier though_. He smiled at the recollection.

A few minutes later, the door to the bathroom opened, and Alec stepped out onto one of the colorful carpets with bare feet. He'd changed into baggy navy blue pajama pants and a loose grey t-shirt.

_He's not even trying, and he looks astoundingly sexy._ Magnus thought to himself. _How does that make sense? How is that even _fair_, for that matter?_

Alec smiled at the other boy. Unlike his miserable and rushed morning shower that had tensed him right up, this one had been piping hot. It made him feel relaxed and a little sleepy.

"Hey. I put my towel on the right. It'll be easier to remember because my bed is on that side."

Magnus nodded. "That's logical."

Alec walked over and sat by Magnus on the floor. "How's the unpacking going?" He looked around at all the stuff. It had just seemed to multiply.

"Well unpacking was the easy part. I'm tempted to just leave it at that, but we can't have you tripping all over the place. I just can't believe you brought _one bag._ It makes me feel like hopeless slave to consumerism."

"Maybe you're not _hopeless_ though. There's always rehab." Alec joked.

"Ah, yes. I could give up all my worldly possessions and become a monk. An Amish monk, if they exist. Oh but wait, the monk hair-do. I don't think I could deal with that. Scratch the idea."

Alec laughed in surprise. The image was pretty hilarious.

"How are you sitting like that?" Alec noticed that Magnus was sitting with his knees out to the side and his ankles on top of his thighs. "It looks so uncomfortable."

"Like this? It's a yoga pose. It's perfectly comfortable for me. I'm just flexible."

Alec tried to maneuver his long legs into the same position. He nearly toppled over. "Ha, I'm not at all. I can't even touch my toes. Completely hopeless."

"Maybe you're not _hopeless_ though." Magnus grinned as he repeated Alec's words. "You could easily work on that."

Alec looked down and cleared his throat. He suddenly realized how weird it was to be discussing this. "Let's focus on working on this room. I said I'd help, and I think I only have half an hour left in me before I collapse." He yawned, and his soft eyelids fluttered sleepily.

Magnus bit his lip. That was pretty much the most adorable thing he'd ever seen.

Alec stood, and walked to the doorway, picking up a clothes iron. "We should start with the stuff near the door, just in case someone walks in unprepared."

"Sounds like a plan," Magnus said. He stood as well, and started to help. "I don't know though, my hair dryer trap worked out amazingly well."

Alec almost dropped the iron, but caught it just in time. What did _that_ mean? He didn't trust himself to say anything.

Magnus was trying to gauge his reaction. "I was just joking. That was a total accident, I mean."

"Oh, yeah…I know." _But he means it still worked out well. He must have noticed me checking out his ass! How utterly mortifying!_ He tried to calm down.

Alec cleared his throat again. "I'm guessing the clothes iron trap was for backup."

Magnus nodded authoritatively. "Of course. Hairdryers can be unreliable, and dangerous. You never know when you might be overcome with the urge to dry your hair while you're sleeping, and light your hair on fire."

"You've _done_ that? It says right on the label, WARNING: do not use while asleep. I didn't think anyone actually needed to be told that!"

"Kids these days," Magnus said noncommittally. "Always fighting against labels."

* * *

After a journey full of detours, Jace finally arrived at Alec's room. He heard laughter, and listened outside the door for a moment. When he heard it again, he realized it was _Alec_ laughing. Real laughter.

But Alec was always so serious. Usually he didn't open up to people that…weren't him or Isabelle.

Jace reached up and grabbed the handle and pushed the door open.

"Hi Alec."

"Wah!" Alec jumped a little. He was shocked to see Jace here in the room. _But that's not so shocking Alec. He's living here too. _He reminded himself.

"Well someone's never heard of knocking apparently." Magnus looked annoyed.

That's when Alec realized that when Jace came in he'd automatically hidden the object he was picking up behind his back, as if he had something to hide. How ridiculous. Plus that looked totally weird.

"Um," he said, waving it around awkwardly. "This is just a tube of hair conditioner. Nothing to see here."

He could hear Magnus snickering at him behind his hand.

Jace seemed totally indifferent. "Guess what Alec, I was practicing stealth and only one, no- two people caught me on my way here."

"On your way down the hallway," Magnus confirmed. "That is impressive."

The blonde boy apparently missed the sarcasm. "I know it!" he looked around the room, and recoiled a bit in disgust. "What hurricane ripped through this place?"

"We've got it under control. Why don't you practice making a quick exit now." Magnus suggested. "If you're really efficient about it perhaps only two people will see you leaving.

Jace pretty much ignored him and walked over to obsessively smooth the bed sheets. "There, that's a little neater."

"You don't have to do that. I was just going to bed anyway." Alec said.

Jace started straightening Magnus' bed covers, while the tall boy twitched in annoyance. He was trying to practice patience, of which he had very little. "Excuse me. But you need to remove yourself from the premises." He said, keeping his voice even.

"But I want to talk to Alec," Jace protested.

"We can talk tomorrow. I'm dead on my feet right now." Alec put in.

"But-

"He said he'll talk to you tomorrow, so we'll see you then." Magnus opened the door, and gestured to the outside as if Jace were some pesky creature that had wandered in from the wilderness, and needed to be shooed out.

It seemed to work, because the golden eyed boy finally gave up on his straightening and walked to the doorway. "I guess I'll go show Sebastian what's what now. 'Night Alec, and Alec's friend, whatever your name i-

Magnus closed the door on him and leaned against it. "Friend of yours, I take it." He said wryly.

"Yeah. He's just restless right now, from being in a new environment."

"As long as he doesn't mess with _my_ environment, he can do what he wants." Magnus walked over to the bed and messed up the covers again just for the hell of it.

Alec climbed onto his own bed. "I really am tired. Is it okay if we finish this tomorrow?"

"It's good enough anyway, I'm not picky."

" Okay." Alec sighed as he let himself collapse. "Goodnight then."

"Goodnight Alec."

Alec pulled the covers over himself and snuggled in, facing the wall.

Magnus flipped off the light switch and dug out some clothes to change into for bed. He had just gotten changed when he heard what sounded like, "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" followed by a muffled yell and a heavy thump.

"Did you hear that?" he asked Alec, but it seemed the boy had fallen right asleep.

Magnus was going to shrug it off as giddy model shenanigans and get into bed, when he heard a quiet knock on the door.

_Oh not that one again_, he thought to himself, as he begrudgingly went to answer it.

He opened the door to see a dark haired boy standing there in only a black pair of silk boxers, leaning against the doorframe.

Magnus decided to act like this was nothing of note. "Yes?"

"Hello. I'm Sebastian. I was just wondering if-

"Talk a little quieter," Magnus interrupted. "He's sleeping."

Sebastian peered around him into the room to see Alec sprawled out across the bed, the covers in a tangle around his legs.

"I see," Sebastian smiled, putting his finger to his lips in a 'shh' gesture. "Got it. I was wondering if you had a scarf I could borrow. I saw you were wearing one earlier."

"Do I even want to know?"

"There was a problem with the bed. But I figured out how to fix it." He looked utterly pleased with himself.

Magnus rummaged around and found one. He handed it to the boy. "Keep it."

"Thank you." Sebastian said sweetly. "Don't you want something in return?"

"If you're hiding something on your person, you might want to keep that to yourself."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "I was just going to say that you can watch me walk away."

With that, he started back down the hallway, swinging the scarf in a lazy circle as he did so. He disappeared into his own room without a look back.

Well that was…interesting.

Magnus mulled over what had just occurred for a few moments. He quickly figured out the gist of it.

_He was expecting it to be difficult to get that scarf. _

He decided he was done answering the door for tonight, or with the way things were trending the next caller was bound to be a naked nymph riding a unicorn that wanted to borrow his underwear. Or something like that.

He climbed into bed and lay staring at the ceiling. Oddly, he couldn't get rid of the thought that it would be pretty cool if there were glow stars up there. Tacky, sure, but cool. Like a really non-nature boy version of stargazing.

Turning his face to the side, he snuck a glance at Alec. If the blonde intruder had been expressing his restlessness by wandering the hallways, Alec seemed to be expressing it in his sleep. He was apparently a very active sleeper, never staying in one position for long. It was putting his pillows and blankets in complete disarray. It made Magnus tired just to watch.

But then, Alec pulled one of the errant pillows to him in an embrace, and through his leg over it. After that he seemed to settle down.

Magnus wondered if that was merely comfortable, or if it made him feel like he wasn't sleeping alone.

He swallowed and went back to watching the ceiling. He'd definitely need to put something up there.

* * *

Clary's alarm went off and she dragged herself out of bed. The rules were that they were to be ready by seven to leave in the limo to wherever they were going.

Isabelle was already up, though judging by the steady stream of grumbling, she wasn't too happy about it.

"…how they expect me to actually look good at this hour, I do _not_ know. I've heard of suffering for beauty but this is a little much."

From the looks of it, Isabelle had been 'suffering' for at least an hour now, because she looked perfectly ready in a v-neck purple Tee and denim skirt. Clary realized she'd better hurry, and she swung her legs out of bed.

Isabelle turned to her. "Oh, so you're alive." She turned back to the mirror and checked her lip gloss.

"Where do you think we're going today? Do you think they'll do a photo shoot already?"

"I have no clue," Isabelle replied as she put her makeup bag down. "Ask Jace. He's the expert on this show. Does purple look too fall? Should I wear the yellow tank?"

Clary was clueless as to the correct answer. Luckily Isabelle made the decision on her own.

"What the hell am I thinking, I can't wear yellow. It looks disgusting on me." She said. "Clearly bad fashion decisions can happen when I'm sleep deprived." She made a face at the offending tank top. "Was I drunk when I bought this? I'll give it to Maia. Yellow would look great on her."

Clary quickly got ready, and dressed in jeans and a green t-shirt. She studied herself in the mirror. _At least the green brings out my eyes, maybe?_ She didn't usually put a lot of thought into this.

She headed downstairs, looking around her as she moved through the house. It was a pretty cool place. She wouldn't describe it as classy, with nearly every room painted a different, odd color like mango or sea foam green. Plus the décor was strictly…Tyra. It was hard to forget about the competition when there were larger than life size Tyra photos hung up everywhere. Tyra on the runway. Tyra in a ballgown. Tyra being bitten by Robert Pattinson.

Still. There was something really fun and funky about the place.

In the kitchen, several people were already eating. Even though these people were aspiring models and quite skinny, they seemed to be eating quite a lot.

"Waffles Clary?" Simon asked hopefully.

"Sure." She replied.

Sebastian in particular was going to town, though he ate with perfect table manners. "Raphael you make the best omelets. There is just no doubt."

"Of course." Raphael agreed solemnly.

Alec watched as Magnus worked away at vegetarian sausage, buckwheat pancakes drenched in raspberry syrup, lemon yogurt, and tea.

"That's quite a breakfast." He commented.

"I like my food to have a personality. I could never go for just a bagel for example." Magnus nodded to Alec's plate.

"Well I think it's supposed to have blueberries in it," Alec said by way of defense. He squinted at it. It was debatable.

"The food I cook has personality," Isabelle put in.

Alec thought that if Jace were here, he'd probably have something to say about it having a little too much personality. But…

"Does anyone know where Jace is?" he asked the group. "I haven't seen him at all, and that's weird since he usually gets up so early." He frowned.

"Hopefully he's feeling alright," Clary said.

"He must still be sleeping." Sebastian said innocently. "He was very quiet the whole night." He sipped his coffee. "Raphael you make the _best_ coffee."

"Si." The petite boy sipped his.

Aline rinsed out her empty cereal bowl. "The limo is supposed to leave in less than a half hour. He's really overslept."

"I'd better go wake him up then," Alec stood, looking concerned.

Magnus watched Sebastian intently. The boy was acting a little _too_ innocent in his opinion. Just a little too nonchalant.

He stood quickly. "I'm done eating, I'll go wake him." Magnus said, stepping in front of Alec.

Alec hesitated. "You sure?"

Magnus flashed Sebastian one last look. The other boy was smiling knowingly as he met Magnus' eyes, one finger tracing around the rim of his coffee mug.

"I am now." Magnus said dryly, and hurried up the stairs.

He pushed open the door of Jace and Sebastian's room, and his eyes went around the room. He saw no sign of the irksome Jace person. Then, his ears started picking up a noise. It was a quiet thumping sound. And it seemed to be coming from…

He walked over to the closet, and opened the door.

And there was Jace, tied to a desk chair in the closet. There was a scarf tied around his head and stuffed in his mouth, obviously a gag. _Well that looks familiar. I'm glad I wasn't expecting to get it back,_ Magnus thought to himself.

"Mmmph!" Jace exclaimed, as he glared at Magnus, and continued to shake the chair, making the thumping sound. "Mmph mm MMPHH!

"You know, I think he's trying to tell me something. What is it boy? Trouble at the mill?" Magnus couldn't help himself.

Jace gave him a look that could kill. "MMMMMMMPH!!!"

"Listen hon, you're not quite articulate at the moment. And you've _already been discovered_, so just sit there quietly while I untie you. Got it?"

Jace looked 100% suspicious. He'd been tied to a chair all night and it didn't exactly improve his disposition. But still, he kept quiet and still while Magnus untied the skillful knots and finally removed the scarf from his mouth.

Jace rubbed his sore wrists and continued to glare. "You could have taken the scarf off first."

"And to think I actually expected thanks. You're fine. Try to be calm."

"Be CALM? He snuck up on me from behind! I would never stab a man in the back like that! He fought like a coward and I'm going to kill him! I'm going to-

Magnus clapped a hand over his mouth. "Try to be considerate of other people that could get very upset about this. We might be going to a photo shoot in ten minutes, I do not know. Focus on that and let other people focus too."

The prospect of a photo shoot seemed to cheer him slightly. "…Fine." Jace conceded. "This is between the two of us anyway. It's my fight."

"That's the spirit," Magnus encouraged him. "Now go get ready before Alec gets an ulcer."

Jace wobbled into the bathroom, and the tall boy breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

Magnus went back downstairs. "He's fine. He'll be down in five minutes."

"What took so long?" Alec asked, looking nonetheless relieved.

"Nothing really. The two of us were just bondage-I mean bonding. We had a nice little 'wake up Jace' chat."

"I'm so glad to hear it!" Sebastian exclaimed, putting his hand over his heart. "I really was extremely worried about him. We're getting along so well, I dare to say we might become best friends."

Raphael looked very skeptical. "Was he dead?" he asked Magnus.

* * *

**Well. They are on to their first photo shoot next chapter! It's gonna be fiiierce! And wow there are way too many people. I'm going so slow in axing them haha. So to the person who asked if one person was going to go each chapter…I do not know. I have no plan.**

**Okay, you know what's really funny? I thought i had everyone in here, and I realized I'd forgotten Simon. So I had to go and put in "Waffles Clary?"**

**That is cracking me up.**

**THANKYOU EVERONE WHO REVIEWED! I want to thank you all personally, but I'm going to fall asleep in about five seconds, and I want to get the chapter up. :) But please know I appreciated all of your nice comments.**


	6. Embrace the panda

**Greetings. =) I do not own the books, show, or characters, and I never will and am not making profit. Also Tyra I love you, again, don't sue me.**

**This chapter is dedicated to MagnusSpark, for wanting to see Alec topless (it's not just you hon. Trust me ;D) and also for giving me the term eye-raping. I don't think I ever told you how much that amused me. XD**

**Just so you guys know, anyone that I name or even describe is a character from the books. If you want to know who, ask me. There are no OC's, except the camera people haha. **

* * *

Finally everyone piled into the limo, and after a fifty minute crawl through traffic, they arrived at their destination.

Everyone jostled for a view out the window when the limo drove through two tall gates.

"It's the Bronx Zoo," Simon was the first to announce.

"The zoo! Awesome!" Jace exclaimed. He was pretty much recovered from his scarring ordeal, and back to being hyper. "Maybe we're going to get to take pictures with animals!"

"Or maybe they're just bringing you back," Simon grumbled.

The limo parked and everyone piled out. Tyra, Ragnor Fell, two people they didn't recognize, and of course the ever present camera people were waiting for them at the patio near the food courts. The zoo didn't open until 10:00, so there were no visitors around yet.

The contestants sort of waved and greeted the judges.

Tyra didn't look impressed. "I don't think that was enthusiastic enough for TV. We're going have to do it again."

Ragnor stepped forward to instruct them. "Okay everybody, go around the corner and come back. When you see us, shout 'Tyyyyyyyrrrraaaa!!!' and jump around like you're as thrilled as I know you are."

Isabelle looked satisfied. "I _knew_ those girls couldn't have really been that excited every time." She said.

Jace looked like his world had just come crashing down. "You mean...that wasn't real?"

A minute later, they were back for take two. Everyone cheered this time.

"Oh my fucking god, it's Tyra fucking Banks!" Sebastian shouted, and pretended to pass out, slumping into Meliorn.

"_Ewww_, it touched me!" Meliorn shoved him off.

"Perfect," Tyra said. "We'll use that one's reaction shot. The one in black, not the longhaired one of course." She then put on her big smile and beamed at them again. "Helloooo models! Today you'll be having your first photo shoot! Do you know where you are?"

"Yes," they all said in unison.

"We're at the Bronx Zoo!" Tyra said anyway, probably for the benefit of the viewers. "And here with us today is Gretel Were, the designer of the clothes you'll be wearing today. She's going to tell you about her line, and a little about what you'll be doing.

A small built, fair-haired woman stepped forward. Clary would guess that she was in her thirties. Though her face was unlined, there was a mature look to her. She was dressed very simply, and looked athletic, like a woman who spent time outdoors.

"Thank you Tyra. And thank you models, for coming today. I got to see photos of all of you, and I'm eager to see you wearing my line. It's all about an issue that is very important to me. As you all might be aware of, every year, millions of animals are slaughtered to make fur coats, crocodile bags, snakeskin boots, leather jackets, etc. As an animal lover, I wanted to design clothes that celebrate and pay homage to these beautiful creatures, without having to destroy them."

"That's very cool," Magnus looked impressed. "I wear fake leather."

Sebastian was unconvinced. "An animal _died_ for these pants," he whispered to Raphael. "It would be honored if it could see me wearing them."

"It would laugh at you." Raphael said, and yawned. He was ready to go to bed now.

Tyra started speaking again. "Ragnor will help instruct you during your shoot as he photographs you. Animal trainer Alaric Wolf is also here to help today. You're going to be posing with animals, and he'll keep it safe."

A rugged and fit looking man in his mid forties nodded to them. His black hair was peppered with silver, but his scarred arms looked like they'd lost none of the strength of youth.

Simon looked slightly alarmed. "Animal trainer?" he whispered to Clary. "Those scars he's got aren't exactly reassuring me."

"Maybe we'll get cuddly animals," Clary whispered back. "Like cute chinchillas or…" she looked around for inspiration. "Squirrels." There was one climbing out of the trash can.

"Squirrels can hurt you Clary. Don't ever turn your back on them." Simon said seriously, as he began to watch the squirrel closely. He didn't want a repeat incident.

Tyra continued her speech. "Judging from what I know of your personalities and style, I picked what animals you get to pose with. Clary; you're going to be an antelope. The red in the fur will bring out your hair. Isabelle, you're going to pose with peacocks, and show those boys up.

"Will do," Isabelle said easily.

"Sebastian, you're going to pose with a big ole' snake! It's gonna be fiiiierce. You're gonna be like Britney Spears in that 'slave for you' video!"

"My ultimate goal. After this, what will I have to live for?" Sebastian said flatly.

"…Magnus, you're gonna get a whole bunch of crazy ass parrots!"

"Colorful," Magnus approved. "And not only parrots, but crazy ass ones. Can't ask for more than that."

"Aline, you get to pose with a panda, so you can really embrace your culture and-

"Yeah, yeah," Aline interrupted. "I get it. What can the Asian girl get? Nothing other than a panda, of course."

Tyra gave her a stern look. "Young girls should embrace their culture Aline. I want to see you _embrace_ the panda. Because only then, will you find the panda in _you_."

"Why would I even want to find the panda in me? Besides, I'm Japanese, and pandas are native to Chin-

But Tyra was done dealing with Aline's issues, and interrupted her. "Maia will pose with wolves."

"That sounds dangerous," Maia looked apprehensive.

"Don't worry," Alaric spoke up. "They're my favorites. They're very well trained." She looked slightly reassured.

"…Jace is going to be a kangaroo. Because I think you can work through your painful past by using up a lot of energy." Tyra threw out some of her on- the- spot therapy advice.

"Do I get to jump off stuff?" Jace asked hopefully.

"Be as creative as you want," Tyra responded.

"Don't be too creative," Alec gave him a warning look.

"…That brings me to you Alec. You get to be a snow leopard! They have white fur, black spots, and blue eyes. That will look so pretty with your coloring!" Tyra looked truly proud of herself for thinking of it.

"Oh, wow." Alec didn't know what else to say. He hadn't expected that. That actually sounded…really awesome. He was going to get to touch a snow leopard.

It made Simon even more nervous. Wolves? Snow leopards? Snakes? If she said squirrels he would just have to refuse.

"And Simon gets to be a flamingo! And be all awkward in a high fashion way."

Simon was in disbelief. "A flamingo? But they're pink! How am I a flamingo?"

Clary defended the pink feathered creatures. "They can't help it that they're pink. They're born that way."

Simon was indignant now. "How is that relevant to me being one? And they're not even born pink Clary. It's a combination of the algae and tiny bacterial creatures they consume-

"This is one of those times I don't care," Clary warned him. "Just so you don't keep talking." She'd realized it was only fair to warn him.

Tyra was getting tired of announcing, and she was thinking it was time to axe some of these bitches. But she always finished what she started, even if that something was a terrifying music video called 'shake ya body'. This wasn't nearly as bad as that, so she soldiered on.

"Raphael gets bats. Now that's a challenge, so good luck with that." She told him.

"They will welcome me as their leader. Gracias senorita," Raphael said, perking up a bit.

"And now, for Meliorn." Tyra smiled at him. "It was hard to think of one for you, but I thought of the perfect thing, and I told myself giiirrrl you thought of the perfect thing!"

Meliorn just stared at her and waited.

"You," she told him. "Get a sloth." She waited for a reaction. This was what he got for liking Seelia Queen better than her.

"Whatever." he said.

Tyra plastered a smile on, quietly fuming. She should have made him wear a cockroach or a tarantula. "You can all head to make up now. I'll see you at panel." Followed by her body guards, she walked off to her own limo, and the contestants watched it drive away.

There was big red makeup tent set up, and Ragnor herded them all inside.

Clary was glad she hadn't worried too much about what she'd worn, because she was pretty sure that her clothes were lost in the shuffle. It seemed like there were a half a dozen people arguing over her makeup and clothes. Gretel had the final say, and Clary could only go with it as something was shoved over her head.

The head makeup artist, Amatis Herondale, looked pleased with the result.

"You're done," the steely eyed woman announced. "Go look in the mirror, but quick."

Clary walked over to the full length mirror, and barely recognized herself.

Her lips and cheeks had been done very naturally, with no blush and neutral lip color. The emphasis was definitely on her eyes. They were encircled with black and winged up at the corners like an antelopes large dark eyes, and from the outer corner of each eye down over her cheekbones a black and white edged stripe trailed down, like the markings of the animal. Her hair was done up in two wild knots on top of her head. The dress went to mid thigh. It was russet colored with a wide black stripe and two narrow white ones going up the middle, matching her facial markings.

The effect was definitely striking, but all she could really think about was the fact that way too much thigh was exposed. She hardly ever wore short skirts or shorts. Her legs were freckled, and she was a bit self conscious about it.

Gretel was evaluating the final result, looking thoughtful.

"She looks pretty," she decided. "But she's a little smaller than the dress was designed for. We need a belt."

The woman rummaged through a rack of belts and pulled out a black and white patterned one. She secured it around Clary's waist.

"Perfect." She decided.

Clary was a bit dismayed. Now even more of her thighs were exposed.

"We have one ready for the antelope," Amatis informed Ragnor, as she pushed Clary out of the tent.

"You look fabulous sweetheart," he told her. "Right this way."

Clary followed him over to a fenced in paddock where she could see several graceful antelope grazing. When she entered through the gate, they scattered in all directions.

Alaric walked in behind her. "They're shy animals, but they'll warm up to you if you feed them." He whistled and the animal's heads lifted from their new grazing spots. He had a bucket of food pellets, and offered them to Clary.

"Just hold out your hand, and don't make any sudden movements. Some of the braver ones are bound to come over. Once they've eaten from your hand, they'll be sure to stick by you."

Clary did as he said, and soon enough three lovely antelope were letting her pet them, as they stayed close in the hopes of more food.

"Alright Clary," Ragnor spoke up. "I think we can start taking pictures now. Try to look like you're one of the herd, while still showing off the dress."

She was finding this difficult, as antelope didn't wear dresses or worry about such a thing. After a few minutes of awkward posing, Ragnor tried another tactic.

"You're very stiff, and that's not what we're going for. You're an artist right Clary? So, what I want you to do is picture how you would _draw_ an antelope, using loose, easy strokes. Try to act out how that drawing would look. We're still got twenty frames."

_How would I draw an antelope?_ She pondered. They were rarely still. Even when grazing they were constantly stomping or twitching their ears and tail. She would try to express that calm, gentle movement.

After that, the rest of the shoot went smoothly.

"…and I think we got it! Good job Clary, you really pulled it together at the end there. Fashion and modeling is an art, and you can always relate it to your own."

"Thank you," Clary said sincerely. "That really did help."

* * *

Isabelle was ready for her turn. Her makeup was brighter, with blue green eye shadow and magenta lips. Her long hair fell in a black cascade down her back.

She was wearing a long white dress with loose draping sleeves. It had a colorful peacock pattern twisting around the skirt and up the fitted bodice.

"I would buy this dress in a _snap_," she told Gretel, snapping her fingers for emphasis. "It's gorgeous."

"You wear it well," Gretel complimented her, looking pleased.

Isabelle was introduced to two peacocks. One had traditional blue and green coloring, while the other was pure white.

"Wow," she breathed. "I can't decide which one is more beautiful."

"They're both beautiful," Ragnor agreed. "But that just means you're going to have to really work it to stand out in the photo."

Isabelle was up to the challenge, and Ragnor told her in the end in an excited voice that the shoot went very well.

Simon walked by looking mournful. "I could've done peacocks. But I get flamingoes. Why?" He seemed to be addressing the white peacock that was pecking curiously at the pink feathers on his pants. "Even you think I look ridiculous don't you?" he asked it. "And your brain is tinier than my thumbnail."

He reached down to pet it's back, and the bird jumped into the air shouting "HELP!"

Simon jumped in alarm himself. "Holy matzo balls! It spoke!"

Isabelle stifled a laugh as she came up behind him. "No, it just makes that noise. It means it's calling the other one."

Simon listened and heard an answering "HELP!" from not far off. The white peacock took to the air in a heavy rush of flapping and feathers,

"Oh," Simon said sheepishly. "Of course it wasn't talking. It lacks the required vocal cords."

"I'm sure there are other reasons," Isabelle couldn't help giggling at him.

Simon decided he should try to ignore the fact that he looked like Big Bird's girlfriend, and say something to the goddess.

"You did really well," he told her. "I mean, I know absolutely nothing about this, but even I could tell you were fantastic."

"You're sweet," she patted his head. "Thank you."

"I'm Simon," he said in response. "And you're Isabelle." What a name.

"Simon!" Ragnor called out. "Get your skinny flamingo butt into the pond before they fly south for the winter!"

Simon sighed and turned back to Isabelle. "I'm sorry. I must join my flock."

Isabelle did her best to keep a straight face. "I understand. Have fun."

When he was safely out of earshot, she broke down in a fit of laughter.

* * *

Meanwhile, Magnus was checking out his look. His hair had been spiked up even crazier than usual, and one half of his face was splashed with blue paint that went over one eye. The other side of his face was flecked with red and aqua paint. He was rocking a long royal blue trench and yellow shirt, with skinny jeans.

I could work this, he thought to himself, as he blew on nails that had been painted dark blue to match.

There was still time before his shoot however. At the moment the photographer was busy with a girl that was hugging a panda.

_Thank goodness she's here, or I would've been stuck with that, _he knew. He walked around, checking out the scene.

He stopped dead when he saw Alec being introduced to a huge beast. The trainer was holding its leash.

"…I thought you should get used to her first. Though she could rip you to shreds, she won't."

"Well that's good to know," Alec said laughing in surprise. He got on his knees to be eye level with the big cat. "Can I touch her?"

"Hold out your hands and see if she'll come to you."

"Does she have a name?"

"Her name's Angel."

Alec held out his hands saying, "Hey Angel. Do you want to say hello?"

The snowy white feline stared at him for a moment, before approaching and nuzzling against his hand.

"Wow," he gently scratched behind its ears. "What a beautiful creature."

_I'll say_, Magnus thought to himself, unable to tear his eyes away. Alec was wearing black jeans that were ripped jaggedly, as if torn by a big cat's claws. It allowed for a glimpse of pale thigh that was absolutely mouthwatering. He was also wearing fingerless gloves done in the pattern that matched the snow leopard's fur…and nothing else. Unless you could count cats ears as clothing. His porcelain skin was painted with the same spotted pattern, and his blue eyes almost perfectly matched the big cat's slightly greyer blue ones.

"Meow." Was all Magnus could think to say about it.

"…I think that _soooomebody's_ into Furries!" Sebastian exclaimed as he and Isabelle appeared out of nowhere.

"Well if it isn't Sin himself." Magnus shook his head in amazement.

Sebastian looked pretty damn scary. He was wearing a tight fitting, metallic, fake snake skin get up. The same metallic coloring had been put on his face and hands, making him appear to have scales. It also made his flat black eyes look eerily reptilian. He even had fangs.

"What, sad I'm not a Furry?" He took a bite of a bright red apple. "Or did you just want an apple?" He held one out.

Isabelle snatched it and took a bite. "Goodness Alec, put some clothes on." She teased her brother.

He tried to hide himself behind the snow leopard he was petting, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's not my choice Isabelle, they made me wear this."

"We know Alec, you look smashing anyway." Magnus reassured him.

Alec hoped the spots would hide the blush.

Sebastian wiped some juice from the apple off his lip as he took in the sight. "I know where your pictures are going to end up. From experience."

Before Alec could ask what he meant, Isabelle yanked Sebastian by his wrist. "Come on. We have to scope out the competition."

He followed. "I'm checking it out right now. You're more beautiful every time I see you."

She turned and grabbed his shirt collar. "Are you saying there's room for improvement?" She spoke to his lips.

"Not from here," he whispered, and closed the gap, capturing her in a kiss.

Alec looked absolutely horrified, and Magnus was glad for his sake when Isabelle and Sebastian had meandered out of sight to continue their activities.

Magnus approached. "So, Alec Lightwood, beast master."

"Hardly," Alec smiled. "I have a cat, if that counts for anything."

"Me too, but he doesn't know he's a cat. He goes by the title of Chairman." He looked to the trainer. "Mind if I pet her?"

"You can," Alaric responded. "She's in a friendly mood today. Usually snow leopards are very shy."

Magnus rubbed the scruff of the animal's neck. "Shy, hmm. What else can you tell me about them?"

"They're one of the quietest big cats. They don't roar."

Magnus smiled at Alec. "That's because they don't need to do that, to command attention."

Alec blinked.

Sadly, Magnus caught sight of Ragnor waving him over and yelling, looking more and more frantic as the day wore on. "Magnus darling, we're ready!"

"I'm being hailed," Magnus said. "Good luck Alec." He clapped him on the shoulder before walking off, hands jammed in the pockets of the trench like owned it.

The trainer looked amused. "That kid like you or something?"

Alec immediately dismissed the embarrassing question. "He's just my roommate." He didn't notice that he was absentmindedly rubbing the shoulder Magnus had touched.

"Ah. Got it."

* * *

By this time, people were arriving at the zoo. In his vampire-esque garb, Raphael was getting a lot of attention. There were girls (and middle aged women) all over him.

"Do you sparkle?"

"Can you stop cars?"

"Can you show us your thingie?"

He was loving this. "Chicas, chicas, calm yourselves. There is plenty of Raphael to go around."

Simon was watching and learning. Apparently being a vampire, or pretending to be one, made you a babe magnet.

He would remember this.

Jace on the other hand, would remember that kangaroos were mean, nasty creatures. He walked up to where Simon was observing Raphael's methods and collapsed into a child's vacant stroller.

"You can't sit there." Simon pointed out the obvious.

"I can and I will. I'm exhausted. I don't even know what bruises are from what anymore. First that Sebastian bastard and then that horrible kangaroo. Those kicks are _powerful_. I feel like it studied under Jackie Chan. I couldn't even fight back without looking like an animal abuser."

"Look, I'm not talking to you while you're sitting in a stroller. You look like a pedophile." Simon started to walk off.

"Okay, okay!" Jace sat on the ground instead. "Happy?"

Simon thought about it. "Look, I'm not talking to you while you exist. You look like an idiot." He walked away for real.

Jace glared at his retreating back. "I'm not the one who looks like Barbie's pet penguin!" He shouted.

But Simon just kept walking. He felt that somehow, in some way, he'd grown as a person today. In becoming a flamingo, he'd become a man.

* * *

It was Meliorn's turn for his photo shoot. The grunge look was not remotely his thing, but he thought he could endure it.

Until he was introduced to the sloth. Alaric placed it in his arms like he was giving him his child after daycare.

"It's very gentle. So be gentle with it." He warned.

Meliorn held the docile creature under its armpits at arm's length and stared into its face. "It is so ugly." He decided.

"I think it's rather cute," Ragnor protested.

"You smell," Meliorn told the sloth, "of unwashed Mundane." But the creature didn't look offended. It blinked slowly.

Meliorn started dunking it a few times in the water pond, hoping to help with the stench. The sloth remained calm as it was submerged.

Ragnor was getting exasperated. "You're supposed to be posing with it, not baptizing it." He complained. "Why don't you try to capture the movement of the sloth?"

Meliorn placed it on the ground to see what it would do. It stretched out flat on its stomach, reaching its two clawed paws out in front of it and soaking up sun.

Meliorn raised an eyebrow at Ragnor.

"Well okay, the man admitted. Maybe movement isn't the thing to go by here."

* * *

Maia's shoot involved a lot more activity. There was an entire wolf pack of a dozen or so wolves, and she was supposed to be comfortable in this situation?

It didn't help that the trainer seemed more interested in talking to Gretel than in watching the wolves.

"They're my favorites," she was saying. "I studied them for years."

"They're my favorites too." He smiled at her. "Would you like to get dinner after this?"

"I'd love to," she simpered.

"Hey you two!" Maia tried to get their attention. "I don't think that one likes me," She pointed at one of the wolves.

Ragnor looked concerned. "Oh yeah, that one doesn't look friendly..oh I think you should intervene. What's it doing now-OH SHIT!"

Alaric went into action just in time to stop the lean black wolf that was lunging for Maia's throat.

"I told them not to put Jordan in here!" he said angrily. "He's got a nasty streak for some reason. Sometimes there's nothing you can do." He muzzled that one and led it away.

"Okay…" Ragnor tried to recover the situation. "That was terrifying, but you can use that fear in your photo Maia! So go for it!"

Maia looked down at the faux fur boots she was wearing. "I'm supposed to risk my life to get people to buy these?" she said angrily.

Gretel was unsympathetic. "That's fashion."

* * *

When everyone had finished their photo shoot, the models dressed in the clothes they came in and gathered by the make-up tent once again.

"This was definitely exciting," Ragnor told them. "Some of you were really impressive. I think Gretel has a tough decision to make, because she's going to give her favorite model an item from her line. I'm glad I don't have to choose a favorite. Gretel?"

The woman stepped forward, holding a bag. "As Mr. Fell said, many of you did a fantastic job. But there was one person that I just thought was perfect for what they modeled today. I can't picture anyone else looking better in it."

She stepped up to Isabelle. "Isabelle I'd love for you to have this dress," she handed her the bag.

Isabelle pulled out the dress she'd worn, running her fingers over it, looking reverent. "I can't believe it! An original design? This is _amazing. _Thank you so much! I'll treasure it."

"You're welcome." Gretel looked pleased.

"Great efforts today," Ragnor concluded. "Now, you can go free. Enjoy the zoo!"

"For real?" Simon was surprised half the people here were permitted to mingle with the public.

"Sure," Ragnor checked his watch. "It's 5:00, and this places closes in a half hour for everybody else. But you can stay longer, since Tyra pulled a few strings. Meet back here at 7:00."

They scattered in all directions.

Alec watched Jace rush over to Clary as Isabelle latched onto Meliorn. Apparently she'd had enough of Sebastian for the day.

Alec turned to Magnus. "Want to check it out?" _With me? _He added silently.

The other boy looked pleased that Alec had asked. "Sure. I haven't had quite enough wild life today."

As they started walking, a camera guy started following them. Magnus was slightly annoyed, though he knew that was pretty much what this show involved.

"Well, I know I'm not at all shy, but it can get irksome to have cameras following you. What do you say we ditch the guy?" he whispered to Alec.

Alec suddenly realized with dismay that his nails were still painted black from the shoot. He tucked his hands into his sleeves. "How?"

Magnus pointed up at where tiny pods were going by on wires, far, far above. "We'll take the sky lift. We've been on our feet all day anyway."

Alec tilted his head way back to look up. "That's really high."

"That's the point of it." Magnus said simply.

* * *

Alec found himself being dragged up endless stairs to a platform where little compartments were taking off on wires.

A young girl with a mass of wavy brown hair was running the ride. Her name tag said "Sheila".

"Hi," she said, snapping her gum and looking at Alec with interest. "It's ten bucks each to get there, fifteen for round trip. We're almost closing. You guys'll be the only ones out."

Magnus flashed their passes. "We're covered."

Now she really looked interested. "You guys are the models here today? Wow." She smiled at Alec and bent down to retie her sneaker, exposing a thong.

_That shoe was tied hon_, Magnus thought to himself. He checked to see if Alec was noticing this desperate attempt at seduction. But he was busy tugging at his sleeves, frowning at his fingernails. Magnus almost laughed. "Okay Sheila, thank you for your very professional assistance." He hopped in the next compartment that came by, and dragged Alec in as well.

"Oh, you're welcome." She said, looking disappointed. That move had totally worked on Eric and his band mates. They thought she had the most 'rockin bod' in school.

The compartment left the platform with a fast 'whoosh'. "Oh crap," Alec said, looking down. "If this fell, we would die."

"It's not going to fall," Magnus reassured him. "Besides, you stared into the eyes of Sher Khan today and showed no fear. You can't tell me you're afraid of heights."

"Sher Khan was a tiger," was all Alec could say as he sat stiffly. He hadn't normally been afraid of heights. He'd hiked up mountains and looked over the edge of cliffs with ease, but there was something about hanging in the air like this that made him nervous. _That's not logical_, he told himself. But it didn't help.

After only a minute, the compartment stopped with a jolt, causing Alec to slam his hand down on the seat and grip the edge tightly. He inhaled sharply with fear.

Then he felt a hand cover his, and squeeze slightly. "It's okay," Magnus said quietly, meeting his eyes. "It's normal for it to stop." Sure enough, after only a moment, the lift started again.

"It's okay," Magnus said again. "The cables are extremely strong." He hadn't realized Alec truly was afraid to do this. He traced his fingers lightly over the bone of the other boy's wrist in apology.

Alec found the touch of the tanned fingers both calming and exciting. He started to breathe more evenly, but his heart still beat rapidly.

Magnus continued to explore the bone of his wrist, touching it as if it were the most delicate thing he'd ever seen.

_Feels like fire_, Alec sighed and let his head rest cack against the seat. That was why he often touched the places that Magnus had touched him, to feel an after effect of the delicious burn.

When another minute passed and the sky ride was still going strong, he began to relax. He dared himself to look down, and was impressed.

"You can see so much," he said. "Look, you can see zebras down there."

"Amazing," Magnus agreed. Relaxing more himself, now that Alec was adjusting. "And just look at the city skyline."

Alec looked ahead into the distance, and let out a breath of awe. "I've never seen it like that," he admitted.

"We're the only ones up here right now," Magnus reminded him. "We own that view."

Alec shook his head. "No one can own that."

"I'm renting it then," He bargained. "I don't want to share it with anyone. Sharing is overrated."

"I could leave," Alec joked, nodding to the opening on his side.

"Anyone but you of course," Magnus said, as if it were obvious.

"Oh," Alec swallowed. He was very aware that Magnus hadn't released his hand. Feeling daring, he twined their fingers together. His heart thundered in his chest as he nervously wondered how Magnus would react.

Magnus tried to act like Alec hadn't just made him to happiest person alive. "So," his gold-green eyes shifted to Alec's face. "What's next for you? Just in case the fashion industry misses out on the best thing to come its way since Prada, of course." He smiled.

"College," Alec sighed. "College running."

"Afraid it will be too hard?" Magnus heard the tone in the boy's voice.

"No, I can handle that. I just don't want to let people down, or let myself down."

"I can't imagine you disappointing anyone."

Alec certainly hoped he wouldn't. "My family has a history of over achieving."

"So you've got perfectionist tendencies in your genes. You can still fight that."

Alec shook his head and smiled wryly. "I don't know."

"I do. I mean, I come from a family of absolute raving lunatics, and I'm not batshit crazy am I?"

"Well I don't _think_ so." Alec laughed.

"Now that's a confident vote in my favor if I've ever heard one," Magnus grinned. "Speaking of batshit crazy, Tyra was actually spot on with you today, when she picked a snow leopard."

"Because they're shy and quiet?" Alec hadn't missed the similarities when Magnus had been talking to Alaric.

"No," Magnus looked into Alec's eyes. They were such a fathomless blue in dimming light of sunset. "Because they're rare. And beautiful."

Alec swallowed, as Magnus turned his hand over and stroked his fingers over the pulse point of his wrist. He was sure he could feel from there how fast his heart was beating. _Was this like a…what was this?_

_A date?_

"So what's next for you?" Alec managed to get out.

"A round trip," Magnus said. "That is, if you're up to it?" Alec realized that they'd already arrived at the other side, and a kid with pink tipped hair was staring at them from his spot running the ride, looking either scandalized or jealous.

Alec grabbed the passes from Magnus and waved them at the kid. "We're going back," he said, and settled in for the ride.

* * *

**Okay you guys that was a LONG CHAPTER haha. I couldn't describe every one of their photo shoots, but you'll get to hear more about how it went for the people I didn't go into detail about at panel next chapter.**

**Yes, that means that next chapter, I'm FINALLY KICKING SOMEBODY OFF. Maybe. Haha. I really hope you liked this chapter, I put a lot of effort into this one.**

**Did you like the Alec/Magnus cuteness? Hope you did. :)**

**Thank you so much to:**

**Katara-alchemist-glad you laughed at that!**

**Ellenfp- yeah, they've made big steps haha.**

**Daemoninwhite-I didn't notice that Jace was jealous at first but you're right- he totally was! :D**

**LA-EL-LAS-glad you liked!**

**Pawfoot-LOL! I can't imagine what you had in mind…well maybe I can haha. ;D**

**Hi- glad you liked that!**

**AndThingsOfThatNature-yes I'm a fan! :D**

**Evaishere-thankyou! And he is adorable!**

**MagnusSpark-hope you liked! ;)**

**Perdyprincess-thank you! :D**

**Staceyallison-lol thanks, it's nice to be called a genius!**

**Call-us-crazy- thanks again lucky 69!**

**VampHime- so glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing!**

**If I left anyone out I'm really sorry. I love you all.**


	7. Perspiration

**Hey guys! I just have to say that I was astounded by the awesome supporting reviews I got last chapter, thank you so much, that's going to mean a long thank you note at the end, but you guys are worth it. :)**

**This chapter is dedicated to katara-alchemist, who made me so happy by actually doing fanart for this story! I've linked her pictures in my profile, so you can see them there.**

**Thank you katara!!! :D (I can call you katara right? lol)**

**Also: I do take reviews in account! thx for telling me what you want!**

* * *

Clary had never thought of the zoo as her scene, but she was having a great time just wandering around with Jace. He knew a lot about everything, and could talk almost nonstop once she got him going. She never got tired of listening to it.

"So what'd you think of our first challenge?" she asked him.

"It was interesting," he said noncommittally. "You made a really cute antelope though. I mean, I never realized how attractive African mammals could be."

"What rock have you been hiding under?"

"Were you looking?"

What she was looking at right now was how golden his eyes were. She'd once thought that blue eyes were the best, and cursed her own green eyes for being an inferior mutation. But she realized now that golden eyes were the absolute best, and there was no comparison.

Suddenly, she realized she'd forgotten to wear a watch, and she wasn't at all sure how much time had gone by.

"How much longer before we have to head back?"

Jace glanced at his bare wrists. "Oh, damn. I don't know."

Alec always had a watch, but Jace had never gotten into the habit of caring when or even where he was. And neither of them had cell phones, since they had been taken when they moved into the house. They weren't allowed to communicate with anyone in the outside world.

"Oh there's Simon," Clary pointed. "I'll go ask him."

She headed over to the lanky figure sitting on bench.

"Hey, do you know what time it is? Wait- is that a balloon animal?"

Simon looked at the balloon creature he cradled in his arms. "Yes Clary, it is. It was supposed to be a cat, but it looks more like a capybara, in my unprofessional opinion. In any case, it is my only companion, as you have wandered off with Mr. Himbo." He set the blue creature on the bench and crossed his arms over his chest, looking pissed.

Clary sighed. "Simon, don't be pissy now."

"I'm not being pissy Clary. It is just a simple mathematical fact that there are an odd number of us, and of course _I'm_ the odd one out."

He'd been in a pretty good mood, but then everyone had split up, and Simon saw what was what. People had paired together and hadn't even given him a second glance. Not even Clary, his supposed best _friend_.

"Simon," Clary wasn't sure what to say to him.

Jace had appeared at her shoulder. "Is this balloon animal bothering you miss?" he picked it up and looked at it. "Is this supposed to be a capybara?"

At that moment, it exploded in his hand with an incredibly loud BANG, for no apparent reason. Jace just blinked.

Simon's expression was one of such pure hate as he glared at the other boy, that Clary became very concerned as to how to diffuse the situation. She struggled to think of something, anything, to say to ease the tension that could be cut with a knife.

"Does anyone know what time it is?" she said finally.

Jace grabbed Simon's wrist and checked the other boy's watch. "6:45. Time to head back."

Simon blinked as if Jace had just committed a social offense as grievous as cutting somebody's head off in public.

"I didn't…_offer_ you the time." He said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, would you like me to give it back to you?" Jace asked. "It's 6:45. There, we're even."

The staredown began.

"Oh for god's sake," Clary muttered in frustration. She felt a tap on her shoulder, and turned to see Sebastian and Raphael.

"Hello Clary," Sebastian smiled. "Walk back with us. I haven't seen enough of you today. Even in that lovely dress you had on earlier," he leaned close and whispered in her ear.

"I don't know…" she hesitated.

"Come on," he prodded. "We don't want to interrupt the young lovers as they gaze into each other's eyes."

She glanced back at the still continuing stare down. Jace and Simon seemed oblivious to Sebastian's arrival. "Alright," she agreed. They were being ridiculous after all. She started to follow the pair.

* * *

"I don't like you." Simon said after a minute of resolutely not blinking. When he finally had to moisten his eyes first, he cursed himself vehemently. The shame of it was unbearable.

"You just tell yourself that because you want me." Jace said lightly. That was practically his automatic response to people not liking him.

"Not that again! I don't know what that guy told you, but he had it all wrong!" Simon stood up, incensed.

Jace was confused now. "'That guy' meaning the balloon? Because it didn't actually communicate with me before it committed suicide-

"You killed it." Simon interrupted.

Jace continued. "Look, it doesn't matter anyway. There's just no way you're ever going to tap this, so you might as well give up and cool dow-

Simon lost it completely, and launched himself at Jace, knocking him flat with the force of his body. He fisted his hands in the fabric of Jace's shirt and began knocking his head against the ground.

Jace was fairly shocked. It seemed he could provoke even the tamest and most docile of creatures to violence.

"I hate you!" Simon shouted. "You _Clary stealing bastard!_" He continued to unleash a steady stream of insults. The red haze cleared though, when he looked down at Jace's face. The other boy was just looking up at him, not even trying to resist. Simon stopped abruptly.

"Oh god," Simon sat back, horrified by his own actions. "I could have killed you!" What was wrong with him? Violence wasn't the answer!

"I wouldn't go that far," Jace said. "You weren't hurting me, not really. I have a thick skull."

Simon became aware that he was in the middle of the Bronx zoo after closing time, straddling some boy he'd just assaulted.

Still straddling.

He rolled off him immediately. "What just happened? I went over to the dark side of the force! Why didn't you stop me?" he asked, almost pleadingly.

"I don't know really," Jace admitted. "I guess because…well." He sighed. "I would be pretty upset to lose a girl like Clary too."

Simon was pretty upset indeed.

"Plus," Jace continued. "That was pretty crazy, in an adorable way. It was like Nerds Gone Wild or something. I thought for sure that the glasses were going to come off and then the whole scene would have to be censored."

Simon was distracted from his overwhelming guilt. "Did you just refer to me as adorable?" He asked, incredulous.

"Adorably crazy," Jace corrected. "And we're bonding, so just go with it."

Simon sniffed. "Will you just get up already?"

They both stood and brushed off.

Jace looked around. "Hey where'd Clary go?"

If Simon still hadn't been feeling so sheepish, he would have commented that he had at least kept better track of her than that.

* * *

Eventually everyone showed up back at the meeting spot. Isabelle looked a bit giddy as she hung on Meliorn.

"That was good," she giggled. "_Wandering around the zoo I mean_." She nudged him in a conspiratory fashion.

"Yeah." Meliorn agreed, looking as stoic as ever.

Alec might have freaked if he had been paying attention. But he was still trying to get his feet firmly on the ground after the sky ride. It had been really nice, talking to Magnus. And the little touches had just made it even nicer…

He had to come to his senses. He was eighteen, and had to be mature about this. People were going to actually watch this show, and he wasn't going to be having a relationship on it. His shoulders slumped a little. _Why couldn't it feel good to be logical?_

"Welcome back," Ragnor clapped his hands for attention. "Now you all are probably exhausted and half starved right now, so Tyra thinks this is the perfect time for a workout. You're going to be driven over to your personal gym, and meet Tyra and your trainer."

"I'm so hungry," Raphael complained to Sebastian. "I could eat a cat."

"Ew, I have a cat!" Simon shuddered.

Clary didn't eat much, in fact she often forgot to. So she wasn't too concerned about the food thing. However, she wasn't very athletic, and was nervous about being asked to do something really hard.

No one seemed all that enthusiastic about the gym at the moment, but they did as they were told and piled into the limo.

* * *

They arrived at a huge building. It looked like it was for celebrities to sweat in.

Ragnor pointed out the lockers that contained outfits for them to wear. The girls got tank top, sports bras, and shorts. The guys got t-shirts and longer shorts. Ragnor shooed them to go change.

"I'm calling locker room shenanigans," Magnus predicted.

Simon tried to sneak into a shower stall to change, but Sebastian noticed.

"Looks like somebody's too shy to be seen in their skivvies," he announced.

"I lost my underwear at the shoot," Simon admitted. "The giant snake ate my boxers. Which means it was given way too much free reign, if you ask me."

"Have you ever used that excuse Alec?" Magnus asked teasingly.

Alec looked up, but realized he probably shouldn't have. Magnus had stripped down to his boxers, and Alec was hypnotized by the hipbone that was unconcealed by the fabric, moving under smooth tan skin as Magnus reached for the shorts. He forgot the question.

"Oh...yeah." he replied.

Sebastian was still giving Simon a hard time. "It's nothing we haven't seen before you know."

"Then you're not missing anything!" Simon shot back.

Raphael was already on his way out the door. "You're all taking as long as a bunch of chicas."

* * *

Indeed, the girls had beaten most of them to the workout room. The huge room contained every cardio and weight machine imaginable, and Tyra was waiting for them.

"Hellooo models!"

At first they forgot, but Simon got them started with a "Tyyyyyraaa!" and gestured for the group to join in. They did.

She smiled at them as if she were being incredibly kind in gracing them with her presence.

"Now ya'll just had a photo shoot, and I remember from my modeling days how tiring that can be. People always say, 'oh, psh, _models. _Their job is eeeaasy.' But people do not realize what hard work it is right?"

There were some grumbles in assent.

"When I was modeling in Paris, at only seventeen years old by the way, I often had to do several photo shoots a day. And I'll tell you, I was starving, I was like, where's the croissants and buttery French food round here?" She said, as if she were still indignant about it. "That's why I'm having you do your workout now, so you can adjust to going on empty, like you'll often have to do. Being a model means pain. Now this is a _challenge, _and the panel will take it into account. So with that, I'd like to welcome your athletic trainer, and trainer to the stars...Bartholomew! Or Bat, as he likes to be called."

A young man walked into the room and stood next to Tyra, planting himself in an intimidating stance. Not that he had to try very hard to be intimidating. He was at least six and half feet tall, and heavy with pure muscle. The nasty scar that ran over the left side of his face didn't make him look any cuddlier.

"Thank you Tyra," he said in a deep voice. "I'll make sure they know the meaning of pain."

"Have fun!" Tyra said brightly, and exited. The contestants could hear her chatting on the way out. "Ragnor, order some of those barbecued ribs for the judges…

The muscle bound trainer immediately took charge. "Line up, now." He commanded. "Ladies on the right, _sissy_ boys on the left. And shirts off. Let's see what I'm working with here."

They scrambled to line up and strip down.

He started at the girl's side. "Hello, ladies." He said, surprisingly nicely. "You all can call me Bat. And you're all looking good. Especially you," he smiled at Maia, who tentatively smiled back. "None of you have any work to do. You can do what you want."

He continued down to the boy's side of the line. His demeanor immediately changed.

"You will all call me Sir at all times."

"Maybe to your face," Jace whispered to Alec.

Bat began his evaluations. "Pathetic," he declared, looking at Simon. "I could crush you with one hand."

Simon started to protest. "Hey I won a fight today-

"Silence! I don't want to hear you talk. Any of you." He continued on, as Simon shut his mouth.

"You look like a girl," he told Meliorn.

Meliorn didn't bother responding. He had gotten laid today, what did he need to prove?

Bat moved on to scoff at Raphael. "What are you, fourteen?"

"I'm _twenty one_," Raphael glared.

"Hurry up and grow then."

He reached Magnus, and seemed to be offended that he was actually looking eye to eye with someone. "Why the fuck are you so tall?" he said finally, before moving on.

"Meh," he said to Alec. Alec was glad that was the only comment.

"Well_ somebody _thinks they're the big man," Jace grumbled. "I bet the 'roids aren't doing anything for him in the lower department though."

Bat immediately turned to him. "Drop and give me twenty Blondie! I said no talking!"

Jace dropped and did twenty push-ups, one handed.

"Pathetic," Bat said. "Your lack of muscle tone offends my eyes. And you're at least fifty pounds overweight."

"What? I only weigh 140 you crazy ass!"

"GIVE ME EIGHTY PUSH-UPS IMMEDIATELY!" Bat shouted. "We have to start now if you're going to have any hope of getting in shape! And I said to call me SIR!"

He looked around at the others. "Well what are you standing around for? Get to work!" He softened it for the girls. "When you're ready ladies, of course."

The others quickly realized that Jace had done them all a favor, because Bat was completely intent on him at the moment.

Alec walked over to the treadmill, and adjusted the belt to level.

"I'm glad I get to run here actually," he told Magnus. "I thought I was going to have to go out into the city at night, and it's not supposed to be very warm. I get cold easily."

Magnus gave him a sharp look. "I hope you're joking."

"Uh, no. I really do. Isabelle teases me about it all the time."

"I meant about running alone in the city at night. _Please_ tell me you weren't really thinking of doing that."

"Well, I do have to get a run in somehow."

"Alec that is not okay. If you ever start getting an idea like that again, tell me immediately, so I can clock you over the head." Magnus' voice was stern.

Alec got defensive. "I can take care of myself."

"You can't take care of some gang of rapists with guns. You're not invincible just because you're eighteen."

Alec didn't know whether to be annoyed or not. Usually he was the one to tell people not to do something stupid. And he doubted there were really 'gangs of rapists with guns' on the lookout for boys out on a run.

Still, it was kind of nice that Magnus cared enough to threaten to clock him over the head. Maybe.

He set the treadmill to speed 9 to warm up for the first mile. After that he'd up it to speed 12, the highest that treadmill went.

* * *

Magnus sincerely hoped Alec got the point. Was the kid trying to stress him out?

He kicked off his shoes and sat down on one of the mats around the room, and began stretching for yoga and core exercises. He watched Alec out of the corner of his eye as he went through the familiar motions. Alec made running look incredibly easy, like it was nothing. It was genuinely impressive. Magnus wanted to see him in a race, crossing the finish line first and far ahead.

It would be nice to be there, and be the one to support him if he needed to collapse in exhaustion, from setting a record maybe. How great would it be to share the joy of that? And flip off anybody that cared when Alec had caught his breath enough to kiss him.

That would be perfect.

The other contestants weren't lost in such pleasant fantasies. Simon was peddling on a stationary bike, feeling weirdly like his mom, what with her spinning class that she talked about all the time. But there were definitely more painful alternatives.

Jace for example, was now attempting to do pushups while Bat sat on his back.

"Come on Blondie. Ten more."

Jace's arms were shaking. "I…can't…you're probably twice my size!" he gasped out.

"I'm solid muscle, and you're still too fat. Now get going." Bat grinned at Maia, who was using the Stairmaster. "Wimpy pretty boys, right?"

She nodded, seemingly amazed.

Jace had finally collapsed, so Bat let him be and went over to talk to Maia.

Jace lay there for a moment catching his breath. The fact that he'd managed fifteen pushups with that sort of weight was pretty astounding, and also something he never wanted to do again. He looked around to see what everyone else was doing.

Sebastian was absolutely destroying a human shaped punching bag. A final harsh kick knocked the head right off. Raphael caught it.

"That's three," Sebastian announced. "Get me another one."

The other boy, who seemed to be getting away with doing absolutely nothing, dragged another punching bag from the corner of the room for Sebastian to go to work on.

"Thanks."

"De nada." Raphael went back to doing nothing other than tossing the decapitated head up and down a few times. "I'm watching you," he reminded Simon.

Simon peddled faster.

Jace saw Clary struggling with the hand weights, and he couldn't help but feel proud and protective of her. She was trying, though she obviously had no idea what she was doing. He walked up behind her.

"Want some assistance?"

Clary was embarrassed. "I'm not very strong," she admitted.

"That's okay," he said. "But you're going to strain a muscle that way."

"How am I supposed to do it then?" She thought she had this simple thing right.

He moved up next to her. "First, stand with your feet hip distance apart."

She did.

"Toes pointing forward," he gently nudged her foot with his. She blushed and complied.

"Now, pick up the weights. I think you can handle ten pounds. So, keep your shoulders even,"

His hands came down to rest lightly on her shoulders.

"…and your back straight," one hand trailed down to the small of her back. "Elbows in. Now you can lift the weights up to shoulder level, and then back down to the bottom of your ribcage." Clary felt slightly dizzy as the hand on her shoulder slid down to her upper arm. "You should feel these muscles as you lower the weight, don't just let gravity do it."

_Gravity?_ Clary thought to herself. _What gravity?_ She felt weightless.

He stepped back and smiled. "See? You're not weak. You just need to know how to do it. I bet you can even move up to fifteen pounds easily. Even with those skinny arms." He teased.

"At least I'm putting my skinny arms to use," She challenged. "What are you going to do?"

He considered. "Well, usually I practice martial arts or fighting, but Sebastard seems intent on monopolizing that."

"Five!" Sebastian announced. "Get me another."

Aline had caught snatches of the conversation, and was interested.

"What kind of fighting do you know?" she asked Jace, coming over.

"Several kinds. Karate, kendo, judo, etc. You name it, and I bet I know it."

Clary glared at the pretty girl in the red tank top. Her long sleek hair was pulled up into a high pony tail, and it showed off her high cheek bones and almond shaped dark eyes. _I'm not that pretty._ Clary thought to herself, deflating a bit.

"Want to spar for awhile?" Aline enquired. "I'm fairly knowledgeable myself."

Jace's eyes lit up at the prospect of a fight, but he hesitated.

"You don't have to hold back because I'm a girl," she said, pretty sure of the reason for his hesitation. She did a back flip and landed crouched in a fighting stance. "I can handle it."

He grinned. "I won't underestimate you then."

"You will," she said simply.

They walked over to the large mat in the middle of the room, and started at opposite ends.

Clary didn't want to watch it. She hated to see the way Jace was focused on Aline so completely, eyeing her lean tanned legs and the slight tilt of her petite body, trying to anticipate her first move.

Clary decided to ignore them, and threw herself into her own workout. She was the one being ridiculous now. _Maybe I should just challenge her to a staring contest_, she snorted at the thought.

She went through all the weight machines until she could hardly move her body, determinedly paying no attention to Aline and Jace.

Finally she heard, "Okay, you win!"

She saw that Jace had knocked Aline to the mat, and one of his arms pressed down over hers while his other hand rested on her throat, not pressing down, but merely demonstrating his victory.

He rolled off her onto the mat, they were both sweating. Aline fixed her ponytail to capture a few strands of hair that had come loose.

"You're good," he praised her as he caught his breath. "Very quick. Great form."

"So are you," she pointed out. "I thought I'd have more of an advantage in quickness, being smaller. But I didn't really."

_Blech_, Clary thought to herself. She didn't want to hear what Jace thought of Aline's 'form'. Or listen to Aline go on about being 'smaller'. _Way to be a girl,_ Clary thought grumpily.

But she was too tired to get as upset about it as she might have otherwise. She just wanted to lie down.

So she found an unoccupied mat and lay there, closing her eyes. Her eyes snapped open though, when she felt someone plunk down next to her. She turned her head to see Jace laying there, looking tired and content.

"Ah, Clary," he sighed. "This was a good day."

"Was it?" she asked absentmindedly.

"Yeah, it was. I got beaten up by about four different people and one kangaroo, but it was still one of my favorite days ever." He turned to face her. "Do you want to know why?"

"Because we got to see Tyra?"

"Well, partly that. But also because I got to spend time with you."

She wasn't sure what to say. "Oh," she settled on that.

Jace continued. "And the really sad thing is, tomorrow, everything could change. One or both of us could be eliminated. This could be the last normal day of our lives."

"This was normal for you?"

"Clary, I just want to lay here on this mat beside you one time, and that's all I want to do right now, even if it's the only time I'll ever get to do it. Even if…it will only make it harder when this is over."

"KEEP IT CLEAN OVER THERE!" Bat shouted. "I don't want to hear about anything getting harder but your pathetic muscles from my workouts!"

Clary suddenly felt the insane urge to giggle, but she suppressed it. Instead, she reached over and took Jace's hand. "I'll give you my cell phone number," she promised, giving his hand a squeeze.

He exhaled as if truly relaxing for the first time. They lay there, just holding hands.

And not giving a damn if people thought they looked retarded.

* * *

Alec wanted to collapse as well, but he knew it wasn't good for his muscles and he'd probably cramp up if he did. He just leaned on the treadmill console, gasping for breath and basking in the glow of endorphins that came not only from the exercise but from the satisfaction of being done.

"Are you all right?" Magnus asked him.

"Just…tired." Alec managed. "Need some food soon."

Magnus was concerned about the way Alec's legs were trembling. "No wonder you get cold, there can't be an ounce of fat on you. What are you living off of right now?"

"You're skinny too," Alec pointed out.

"But I conserve my energy, instead of expending every last bit of it." It was true, in fact he felt more energized than before the exercises. He felt only a pleasant burn in his abs that meant he'd done them right.

Alec grabbed his shirt from the floor and pulled it over his head. "I'm getting water," he stumbled out into the hall on wobbly limbs.

Magnus just shook his head. He couldn't believe Alec had planned on wandering around outside by himself in that state. He shuddered at the thought.

He walked up to Bat. Or 'Sir' as he was supposed to call him. Magnus wasn't a believer in authority, so he just went for the 'hey you' method of address.

"Excuse me, but are we done here?"

Bat reluctantly turned from Maia to look at him. He frowned at Magnus' height again.

"You must kneel while addressing me."

Magnus rolled his eyes. "I'll remember to forget to do that next time. But for now, are we done here?"

"Uh, I guess." Bat seemed to be trying to figure out if Magnus was defying him or not.

Magnus whistled for attention. "All right everybody! You're done! Back to the limo."

He walked out of the room to lead by example, picking up his clothes and Alec's on the way out.

He found Alec in the hallway, gulping down water. "Here," he handed him his clothes. "We're going now,"

"Oh good," Alec's condition was considerably improved. "I would have felt compelled to lift and do core, and then I probably would have passed out." A frown passed over his face. "I guess I can do core when we get back though, I mean I really should…"

"Alec," Magnus clapped his hands onto the lean shoulders and met his eyes. "Don't worry about it. Breathe. In and out."

Alec took a deep breath. "Okay."

The side of Magnus' mouth quirked up, and he just barely resisted the urge to trace his hands down Alec's arms before letting go. "Good."

Everyone clomped down the staircase, not bothering to wait for an elevator. When they got to the vehicle, they saw that Meliorn was already sitting in it.

"How did _you_ get out of this?" Simon asked him.

"All of you are perspiring." Meliorn replied, as he wrinkled his nose.

* * *

When they got back to the house, Alec put his dirty clothes in the hamper and went straight into the cold shower.

He changed into loose and long pajamas, and prepared to go downstairs and try to scavenge whatever food was left.

To his surprise, Magnus greeted him with a plate of hot food and a couple of bottled waters.

"You didn't have to do that," Alec protested.

"Oh yes I did," Magnus disagreed. "You should have seen the way they cleared the fridge. Raphael in particular was eating everything in sight. You'd almost think he _was_ still growing, if you didn't know he's actually the oldest one here."

"Well…thanks." Alec smiled gratefully and began to dig in.

"Not a problem darling." Magnus gathered his bed-clothes and went into the bathroom to shower as well.

When he entered the bedroom again, he saw Alec was already sleeping in his customary pillow-hugging position. The dishes were gone, of course.

Magnus was just about to turn off the light when he heard,

"Magnus…"

He turned to ask Alec what was up, but he realized Alec was still sleeping, and had merely mumbled his name in the middle of a dream.

Magnus froze for a moment, feeling a warmth pass through his body that somehow made him shiver at the same time.

"Goodnight Alec," he whispered, and turned off the light.

* * *

Jace was visibly twitching as he took in the sight of the absolute mess in the kitchen.

"Why," he announced out loud. "Can't people do their own dishes?!"

Clary tapped his shoulder. "We can do it in the morning. Or after panel. Do you want to sit out on the patio with me? It's a nice night."

Clary was perhaps the only person that could tear Jace away once he got into the cleaning frenzy mood. But she broke the spell over him completely, and he followed her out the sliding glass doors.

"It is a nice night," he agreed. His attention was equally divided between Clary and…

"Want to go in the pool?" he asked her.

"_Now?"_

"There's never a better time than now, Clary." He brushed a strand of hair behind her hair. "There'll never be a night as nice as this, and that will be a shame."

"You're a believer in the finite aren't you?"

"I'm a believer in _carpe diem_."

"Which is?"

"Seizing the day."

"But it's night."

"It's the spirit of the thing. If I go home tomorrow, I don't want to regret not swimming in the America's Next Top Model pool."

"Is that something I would regret?"

"Definitely." He sounded certain.

"Well, if you say so." She jumped in, pajamas on and everything.

Jace looked completely shocked.

"I didn't think you were going to…just jump in like that!"

She laughed at him. "I knew you wouldn't. So what are you waiting for anyway?"

He shook his head, and jumped.

"The water's really nice," she tilted her head back to look at the stars, treading water.

Jace watched her. "You can't stand this deep can you?"

She tried to touch the bottom, but her whole head went under. She came up again. "Nope, I'm five feet tall."

"You're small." He commented.

She wasn't sure how she felt about Jace pointing out that she was short. Usually she hated when people mentioned that, but he seemed to say it fondly. "So," she began. "What would I regret tomorrow? Not playing Marco Polo?"

He seemed to be contemplating that, and Clary noticed that his eyes were darker in this light, almost amber. "Can I kiss you?" He asked.

"Would I…regret missing that?" she whispered.

"I hope so-I mean…I don't hope you'll regret it. I mean, that I hope that you wouldn't want to miss-

She put an arm around his shoulder and a finger to his lips.

"Yes."

She put her arms around his neck and pressed her lips lightly to his. Jace moaned and wrapped his arms around her back. He was a little embarrassed at making a sound, but Clary had liked to hear it. The slight vibration of it sent shivers dancing across her wet skin. She felt the gentle pull of his fingers running through her hair as it swirled in the water.

Clary felt it was only appropriate that she was being supported by water as well as Jace's arms. He made her feel like she was floating, but also like he kept her from drifting away.

When she felt his tongue brush across her lips, it was like a bolt of lightening through her body. She parted her lips just slightly to deepen the kiss.

They were doing this on camera, and she found she couldn't bring herself to care.

It was impossible to know how much time had gone by before they broke apart, but Clary was a little concerned Jace's legs might give out and send them both under. She kissed the line of his jaw gently, before disentangling herself.

His eyes were heavy lidded, and he was breathing like he had run a long way.

"To think I…could have missed that," he said, not seeming completely present.

"That would have been a shame," she echoed his words. "You know what I think?"

He turned to her, looking eager, as if what she thought was the most important thing in the world at this moment. "What?"

She splashed him playfully. "I think I really would regret not playing Marco Polo."

* * *

In the morning, everyone dragged themselves up to get ready. They all knew what day it was, though they were actively trying not to think about it.

Simon checked the fridge. "Does anyone find it creepy as hell that our refrigerator is magically restocked?"

No one looked very concerned about it.

Simon shut the fridge. "No? I see. Moving on then." He took a seat.

Sebastian looked ornery, which meant he looked twice as likely to kill someone as usual. "I didn't get nearly enough time in the shower this morning," he complained. "And that's rather frustrating, if you know what I mean. Which I'm sure you do. Boys."

"Moving on then," Simon repeated.

"I think we should explore the subject further," Magnus disagreed. "Alec, do you feel you get enough time in the shower?"

"Do tell," Sebastian put in.

"I-

"Why is everyone talking all Britishy?" Isabelle cut off Alec's answer. "At this ungodly hour it's just obnoxious."

"Live and let live lovey," Sebastian chastised her. "Let a bloke have a chat with his chaps."

"You really _are_ having an issue aren't you?" Raphael shook his head as he cooked up omelets.

Sebastian stabbed a fork into the table. "It wouldn't be an issue if somebody hadn't taken over an hour to shower this morning! And that somebody knows who they are. And who they are is Jace!"

"Chlorine," Jace said, not really caring whether Sebastian had a problem or not.

"Let's just get through this elimination," Clary said. "And try to be somewhat civil until then."

"Don't try and be all high and mighty with us Clary. Since when are you Mother Theresa?" Simon said bitterly.

Everyone turned to stare at him.

"Whoa," he said sheepishly. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for."

The mention of an elimination was sobering for all, and the breakfast continued in silence.

When they went out to the Tyra limo, Aline was struck by a sudden realization. "This is the last time we'll all ride in this damned thing together."

Out of all these snarky people, not one of them had anything sarcastic to say about that.

"I think we should have a group goodbye now," Isabelle said. "Because it will be really awkward in front of the judges."

The goodbye hugging commenced.

"Good bye Raphael," Sebastian hugged him. "You were the only one who ever understood me."

"I'll see you when we get out of here, you crazy bastard. Pero, adios amigo."

Magnus hugged Simon. "Good bye you, I don't even know you really."

"Goodbye," Simon said, getting choked up despite himself.

Aline and Maia hugged long and hard. They were worried that their shoots hadn't gone well, and that they would get split up. "If I don't make it…give these silly boys hell okay?" Maia smiled. Aline smiled back. "Same goes for you. You're more than capable."

Even Meliorn allowed himself to be patted on the back a bit, and of course there was a wild kiss from Isabelle.

Jace and Clary hugged, but they didn't say goodbye. Because they knew it wasn't.

Alec turned to Magnus. "So…do you really think this could be it?" He wasn't even sure what he meant. What was 'it?' the end of the competition for one of them? The end of-?

Magnus squeezed his hand. "Not a chance in hell."

When everyone was satisfied with the goodbyes, they piled in all together, as Aline said, for the last time.

For once the trip seemed too short.

They arrived at a large brick building, and were guided to the right room by network personnel. The room was intimidatingly white, with low white risers that they were supposed to stand on so that the judges could have a clear view of all of them.

"Tyyyr-

Simon started, but Magnus sensed that now was not the time, and clapped his hand over his mouth to silence him.

Indeed there was a different atmosphere in the room today. Tyra was not her usual giddy self. She had her fierce face on.

"Eleven of you stand before me," she began. "But only ten may continue on in the hopes of becoming America's. Next. Top. Model."

They waited with baited breath, as Tyra introduced the judges. Seelia, Ragnor, and Aldertree were all present.

"Firstly, you all had a challenge last night. You were supposed to challenge yourself physically after a draining photo shoot, and Bat informed me of the winner. The winner was…Maia!"

No one was particularly shocked.

"Congratulations. We will take that into account when we make our decision about elimination today Maia."

Maia just nodded, not sure whether she should speak up about the possible unfairness of the whole thing. But Aline nudged her, "Just go with it," she whispered.

"Let's look at your pictures," Tyra said blandly. "Come forward when I call your name please. First is, Simon."

Simon stepped forward as his picture appeared on the screen. Everyone looked at it.

In the photo, Simon was standing in the midst of a flock of flamingoes, their feathers various shades of pink next to his own pink feathered outfit. His head was cocked to the side as he faced the camera straight on. One of his legs was bent up in imitation of the birds around him. The expression on his face was dead serious.

The judges stared at it for a long moment.

"I think it's…brilliant." Tyra said finally, seemingly awed.

"There is something about it," Seelia agreed. "I see so much in this photo. Not only fashion, but also pain, awkwardness, sadness, and loss. And yet there's so much hope in the picture."

"God yes!" Ragnor gushed. The way he's facing the camera, but with his head tilted like that it just…says so much. About self identity, and how to fit that with the world."

The other contestants looked closer at the photo, as they tried to see what the judges saw. Many of them began to see just how brilliant it was.

But Aldertree was more affected than any. "It moves me in my pants my boy!" he declared, succinctly summing up his thoughts on it.

"Thank you Simon," Tyra sent him back. "Would Maia please step forward?"

Maia stepped down, and her picture appeared.

She was crouched in the corner, her body in shade, and the fur boots the only part of her that was in sunlight. The pack of wolves watched her, looking like they might approach.

"I like this photo," Tyra said immediately. "It says to me: fear. But you showed your fear in a high fashion way, look at that pose. It's like a broke down doll.

There was a sudden murmuring among the judges. Comparing a pose to a 'broke down doll' was high praise, and merited discussion.

"I'm not sure I'd go that far," Seelia said finally. "But I really like the way you put the focus on the boots, which is what you're supposed to be selling."

"It's like the boots are protecting her from the wolves," Ragnor said. "And I must say, this was not an easy breezy shoot by any means, but Maia made the best of it."

"Thank you Maia," Tyra dismissed her. "Next, Aline."

Aline's photo was of a girl dressed in black and white, with dark panda markings around her eyes. She was hugging a panda, while it chewed on some bamboo.

There was a clear challenge in Aline's eyes, as she dared Tyra to criticize the damn thing.

"There's not much to this photo," Tyra said. "You're resting on pretty. And you're a pretty girl Aline. But you need to be edgier."

"She reminds me of someone," Seelia looked thoughtful, and then she snapped her fingers. "Jenny Shimizu! That's the one."

Tyra considered. "Now she's the epitome of edgy." She looked thoughtful. "We might be able to work with this, if you make it through." Tyra said mysteriously. "Thank you Aline."

Aline joined the crowd again.

"Sebastian." Sebastian hopped off the top riser to land lightly in the appropriate spot.

His picture appeared.

"Oh…my." Tyra tried to take it in.

In the photo, Sebastian's hands were raised above his head, causing him to stand with sprawled out legs and just barely on tiptoe. His arms were in fact bound by a giant snake.

His head was tilted back and his lips were parted in an expression of…

"You look like you're…enjoying yourself." Tyra decided.

Ragnor spoke up. "Oh God Tyra, believe me when I say you had to be there to truly absorb the drama of this. As I was taking the picture I wasn't sure what the hell was happening."

"I love it," Seelia said. "It's fun. It's like the snake in the garden of Eden, tempting a dominatrix Eve."

"That would be interesting to reenact, don't you think?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow and smiled at her.

"_Très_ intéressant," she agreed.

"See?" Ragnor pointed out. "I don't even know what is happening in here right now."

"What were you thinking during this?" Tyra asked Sebastian.

"I was exploring my submissive side. It's deeply buried, but I think the right person could bring it out…if they put their best effort into it."

"_Très, très,_ intéressant." Seelia was now restlessly tapping her fingernails on the desk.

Isabelle was impatient with all the flirting Sebastian was doing with Seelia. "I'm the one with a whip…" she muttered under her breath.

"What do you think about all this Aldertree?" Ragnor turned to him. "Aldertree?" he looked to the floor. "Oh dear, he's fainted clear away."

"That's probably for the best," Tyra said. "This is so far out of hand anyway. Thank you Sebastian."

Simon turned to Isabelle. "That snake ate my underwear," he informed her, as if the photo needed to be just that much kinkier.

* * *

**....**

**So, how many weird pairings were hinted at in this chapter? I spot several! ;D**

**Anybody else think Raphael and Sebastian have a surprisingly epic bromance? XD**

**And yes, I know that they are ALL STILL HERE. But obviously, next chapter one will definately go, haha. ****This chapter was already crazy long. It could have been THREE chapters, haha.**

**Now for the thankyous!**

**Bouldergirl1059: haha I love sloths. Thx!**

**WriterscubedJocelyn: yeah I spent a boring history lecture coming up with those haha, thanks!**

**DINamickErl13xx: thanks so much for telling your friends! glad you liked. :D**

**Sayomi Mayako: glad you like that! Yay for Malec!**

**AndNowForSomethingDifferent: hope that satisfied the Jace/Clary Fluff you wanted!**

**BaneLover09: it's an interesting combination right? XD**

**PerdyPrincess: more Clary and Jace this time!**

**coolnessskate: there you go, more of both! :D**

**Lost-In-Thought-15: I'm glad you thought that was cute!**

**MagnusSpark: okay, your review really made me laugh. You made me excited all over again that THE TOP WAS OFF, haha.**

**jazzxbean: lol, instant edward infomercial?! Haha! XD oh yeah...and rawr indeed. ;)**

**somecrazyshit: haha, I think I sent you an angsty message! Thanks for putting up with me! XD**

**Hawt-Tigre: three 'love its'? you spoil me! thanks.**

**no name: they def are. :)**

**evaishere: mmm...rain sounds good to me! ;D**

**daemoninwhite: a chair without armrests? a travesty! XD thanks. :)**

**ellenfp: yes they are adoooorable aren't they? :D thanks.**

**VampHime: your review made MY day! thanks!**

**Pawfoot: haha he's fun to beat on for some reason. Perhaps because he bounces back like no other.**

**call us crazy: thanks. Hope you liked the chapter! :)**


	8. Oh damn

**Hey. :) I don't own the show, book series, or characters. **

**Holy crap you guys, more than a hundred reviews??! Thank you!!!**

**What better way to celebrate that, and the new year, than to really milk the T rating on this baby?**

**It's about time eh? ;)**

* * *

There was a short intermission while Aldertree was revived. He soon popped up right as rain, but he bitch slapped Ragnor for waking him. "I was dreaming fool!" he shouted. "I had a personal dungeon, and I could lock up any of these young men on a whim, and starve them until they-…

He looked off into space and giggled like a little girl, which made the whole thing just ten times creepier.

"Why do I feel afraid?" Simon wondered aloud.

Tyra shuffled her papers. "Clary, please step forward."

In Clary's photo, she looked like she was caught mid step, as if she were ready to bolt, her large doe eyes stared into the camera.

Ragnor smiled proudly. "See how she captured movement? It's like she was the first of them to notice the camera, and is trying to figure out if we're friend or foe."

Tyra put in her two cents. "I think it looks like she's the queen of the antelope, and she's trying to figure out if humans are fierce or naaasty!"

"Or that," he agreed.

"I don't buy this whole 'short model' thing," Seelia admitted. "She really is exceptionally short. What is the point of that?"

Tyra turned on her. "Things have changed since the olden days when you were young-I mean modeling. There are petite models now. And young girls should learn to embrace their different body types. Beauty comes in many shapes and sizes."

Seelia didn't blink. She may have been nearing forty, but she could put women half her age to shame, and she knew it. "This is a modeling competition, not a self esteem camp."

"That's true," Tyra admitted. "My self esteem camp is called T-ZONE, and all of you are welcome to attend," she told the contestants. "All of you that are girls, that is."

"T-ZONE like the twilight zone," Simon commented. "I get it."

"No," Raphael said simply.

"Thank you Clary," Tyra said. "Thank you for being short, and sharing the beauty of that with us," she gave Seelia a pointed look. "Next up, Meliorn."

Clary was relieved to fall back into line. Meliorn stepped up in her place.

In his photo, he was glowering at the camera. A sloth was clinging to his leg.

"I must say, he really did coax some activity out of the creature." Ragnor commented. "Turns out sloths pretty much want to lay there."

"Indeed." Meliorn agreed, as he flicked an invisible piece of lint off his shirt.

"It's marvelous," Seelia said quickly. "You don't even have to try."

"For you though- I would." he said seriously.

"You'd try for me too, my boy, if I starved you a bit." Aldertree smiled kindly.

Tyra shook her head sadly. "I don't like this photo."

"Why am I not surprised?" Seelia muttered, an edge to her voice.

"…there's just no spark of life in it. You have to learn to smile with your eyes, Meliorn. See, this is me staring blankly," Tyra stared blankly. "And this is me smiling with my eyes," she demonstrated.

"Amazing," he yawned.

"Maybe he didn't feel like smiling," Seelia defended.

"Well you know, when you've got a sloth attached to you, I think you might as well smile about it." Tyra said testily. "Next. Jace."

Jace hopped into place, which was appropriate, considering.

"Young Jonathon Morgenstern," Aldertree said. "How goes it with you my boy?"

"I'm Jace Herondale," Jace corrected him.

Sebastian spoke up. "Jonathon Morgenstern would be me. Or Sebastian Morgenstern. Or whatever the fuck it is today." He saw the Aldertree's expression, and quickly realized his error. "Of course I mean, you can call me whatever you like." He smiled, in what he hoped was a charming and perhaps slightly naughty way.

"My _boy_," Aldertree waggled a finger in mock admonishment, as if Sebastian had been being cheeky.

_Just keep smiling_, Sebastian repeated like a mantra. _Juuust keep smiling…_

Jace waited for the attention to go back to him. It was hard to wait patiently. But he knew from watching this show that the best way to get through panel was to say as little as possible, nod in the appropriate places, and get back in line.

And when Tyra spoke, he'd be sure to pay attention.

"Making you a kangaroo was a controversial decision," she began. "And I am sad that you did not quite manage to pull it off. I mean look at that face," she imitated his pained expression. "Kangaroos are happy, and you don't look happy."

Jace nodded appropriately, knowing that he should not go on about violent kangaroos, no matter how tempting it might be.

"How do you know kangaroos are happy?" Seelia asked. She was just trying to be obnoxious now.

"They're fricken kangaroos," Tyra said, and left it at that.

Aldertree would have surely had some comment, but he was busy making eyes at Sebastian. For his part, the black haired boy was trying to think of a way to break eye contact without offending the judge. He decided to go with the method of looking down shyly and then away. If only he could blush at will. That would be all the better. Maybe he could work on it.

"…Raphael next," Tyra announced.

Raphael stepped down to take Jace's place in front of the judges.

"Oh my goodness, you look like a _vam_pire!" Tyra gushed at the photo.

"He's short too. And I will never understand the fascination with that," Seelia sniffed. "They drink blood. It's just not classy."

"Because it's sexy!" Tyra exclaimed. "Who here likes vampires?"

Simon and Raphael raised their hands, but they were the only ones. Simon glared at the back of Clary's head. She just wasn't raising her hand because Jace wasn't. He knew for a fact that she liked vampires. They watched 'Dracula' together. And he knew that Clary had even read Twilight, and secretly thought it was good.

And he hadn't even made fun of her for that.

Simon was brought out of his reverie by Tyra's next demand. "Come on over here and bite me Raphael!" she exclaimed.

He didn't even hesitate. He just sauntered over and lightly bit down on Tyra's neck, then walked back to his place.

"Ohhh," she simpered. "Now I'm going to turn into a vampire right?"

"Si." Raphael humored her.

"Gracias Raphael," Tyra said. "Next, Magnus."

Raphael walked back to his spot next to Sebastian.

"You use that vampire thing way too much," Sebastian grumbled. He was slightly annoyed that he hadn't covered every angle, satisfied every ridiculous fetish. It was dangerous in this competition for someone to have something he didn't, even if that someone were Raphael. He wasn't stupid, and he knew that this was just as much about winning over the panel as it was about modeling. Tyra was the most important judge, obviously. She seemed to like Ragnor, and dislike Seelia. But Seelia was important to please, because she still had influence in the actual modeling world. In the extremely unlikely event that he didn't win, she could be a good in. As for Aldertree, Sebastian was fairly sure he had all the assets required to impress him. Preferably he could manage that without actually having to-

"Jealous." Raphael whispered. "I can see it on your face. You wish you thought of it." He looked away with a self satisfied expression arranging his delicate, haughty features.

_Damn you Raphael, you interrupted my internal monologue. _Sebastian arranged his own face to appear completely unconcerned, but he watched the slight, tanned, figure out of the corner of his eye. He thought he'd already had it figured as to who was the toughest competition, but perhaps foolishly, he hadn't put the boy he'd weathered many escapades with on that short list.

He smiled at the new challenge. _You may be an ally-_

_But I won't underestimate you._

He snapped back to attention to focus on what the judges were saying to Magnus.

In the photo, Magnus' face was tilted so the painted side of his face was more to the camera. His chin was tilted slightly up. His arch smile reached his eyes, as he supported several colorful parrots on his shoulders and down his arm.

"This is fantastic," Seelia said. "You look so comfortable in front of the camera. What makes it so great is that it's charmingly quirky, and yet it's almost a beauty shot. It's a brilliant angle what with the way it shows off the graceful line of your jaw to your neck."

"You do seem pretty comfortable with yourself, in person as well." Tyra observed.

"If I didn't enjoy being me, there would be no joy in anything." Magnus said with a shrug.

"You're wise beyond your years," Ragnor commented. "And I love this too. That little smirk is a Mona Lisa smile of sorts. I want to know what you're thinking, what you're smiling about."

"That's because he's smiling with his _eyes_," Tyra said.

Magnus smiled the same smile now. He slid his eyes up to meet Alec's for a just a moment, as if to let him know who it was for, before turning back to the judges. "A mystery," he said.

"I think it looks like you're hiding something," Aldertree shook his head sadly. "I don't know why you think you're going to get away with it my boy. I always get it out of them eventually."

"What exactly do you photograph again?" Magnus asked him.

"Thank you so much Magnus," Tyra interrupted. "You can take your place."

Aldertree leaned over to whisper to the person on his left, but as he sat at the very left of the table, the person must have been his imaginary friend.

"I photograph world famous fashions," he said. "…And other things, but that's a secret."

"Isabelle," Tyra called next.

In her picture, Isabelle was sitting, with her legs out to the side and bent at the knees. The long white dress had slipped up just enough to show a well turned ankle and the start of a slender calf. Her body twisted towards the camera to show off the ornate bodice of the dress. The white peacock stood so the long feathers of its tail blended with the flowing fabric of the dress, while the colorful peacock stood with tail fanned out, as it set the backdrop for the photo.

"Lovely." Seelia said simply. "I think I actually would have liked it more if you didn't look into the camera though, just because it would have made it seem more like you were lost in your own world."

"Sometimes you have to try to interact with the camera without looking into it," Tyra agreed. "But this is a great picture."

Ragnor offered his opinion. "I think this is nice because there's definitely sex appeal," he paused. "Dear god, I do feel odd saying that, but it's classy and not at all overstated. It works with the white dress."

Alec gritted his teeth. He didn't feel at all comfortable with a guy in his thirties talking about Isabelle's… appeal, under any circumstances. Even if the circumstances were that the guy was gay and supposed to be judging these things.

"I loved the dress," Isabelle smiled. "Thank you for the advice about eye contact."

Alec was still convincing himself that he should be calm when his name was called, and he gave up all hope of that. He stepped barely away from the crowd, not wanting to stand out.

"Come closer so we can look at you," Tyra said.

He reluctantly stepped a few paces closer.

"Alexander! How is the family?" Aldertree piped up.

Alec was just as confused as the first time Aldertree had asked him that same question.

"And how is your brother Maxwell, growing up nicely is he?" the little man enquired.

"How do you _know_ about my family?" Alec asked, completely weirded out. But Aldertree was hypnotized by Alec's photo, and was ignoring him now.

Tyra eyed the 'in person' Alec critically. "Okay, we have a problem here. What are you wearing?"

Alec tugged at his sleeves nervously. Was he actually supposed to answer-?

"That sweater is not working," she said. "You're hiding under yards of fabric there."

"And look at that," Seelia commented on the photo. "He's all angular plains and lean, feline muscle. If that's not the body of a model then I don't know what is. Personally, I don't think clothing can improve him, and I make a living in fashion."

"But you could improve clothing," Ragnor pointed out to Alec. "That's what modeling is about."

"Boy you gotta get your fresh on!" Tyra told him. "We will expect that next time, if you make it through. But let's focus on this picture."

They took it in, for a long, long moment.

The picture was set in rocky terrain. Alec's weight was resting mostly on his hands that were just behind him as his foot reached out for purchase on a rock below. The leopard was stepping up onto the rock next to him, and something in the tilt of Alec's shoulder, in his fluid movement, evoked a cat like grace. The colors were a stark grayscale from snowy white to jet black, and it made the blue of Alec's eyes stand out so much it was almost distractingly striking.

"I would even buy those jeans, from an ad like this. And I don't wear jeans." Seelia said. "But they look great."

"They do," Ragnor agreed. "And he was so nervous too. But what was great was that he wasn't 'pose-ey'. He kept moving until we got something that worked."

Magnus fidgeted. He probably was the only one who was focused more on the lost looking figure that stood there alone, than on the photo. And it wasn't for lack of wanting to look. It was just that Alec seemed uncomfortable, as if he wanted to disappear into his clothes completely. Magnus wanted to stand there next to him, so he wouldn't feel so vulnerable.

"Well everyone, am I a genius or what? Our virginal Alec is a sex kitten!" Tyra declared.

Alec's hysterical laugh came out as a snort when he tried to stifle it. Tyra's attention snapped back to him, as she raised her eyebrows.

"Ah," he began. "I'm just… not that."

"You are," she said, quite serious. "You're the sexiest and most kittenish sex kitten there could possibly be. And you need to embrace that, by not wearing clothes- I mean sweaters. Because the girls and boys out there watching this show need you to do that for them. Thank you Alec."

Alec went back to his spot. He stared into the camera with wide panicked eyes, and shook his head vehemently, in the hopes of discouraging any fangirls or fanboys out there in the unlikely event that they actually existed.

"Just embrace your inner sex kitten Alec," Jace remarked. "The youth of America need to see the beauty in that-

Alec muttered a statement that pretty much amounted to, 'shut the hell up.', though many more colorful words were used.

"Thank you everyone," Tyra announced. "The judges will now deliberate."

The contestants were dismissed into a waiting room, while the judges talked it out.

"…So have we made our decision?" Tyra asked the scripted question. The other judges wondered what would happen it they said 'no'. Would they spontaneously combust? Would Tyra turn into a giant iguana and eat them? Would nothing happen at all?

"I think we have," Ragnor said dutifully. Why risk it, after all.

"Then let's bring in the contestants!" she proclaimed.

They filed back in, waiting quietly. Tyra stood and stared at some spot on the wall behind them.

"Eleven girls stand…oh damn. Eleven models stand before me. But there are only ten _pho-tos,_ in my hands."

There was a pause.

"The first person who will be going on the competition…is…" She revealed a photo.

"Simon."

"Me?" He looked around at the others.

"Is this is picture of you or not?" Tyra said, barely disguising annoyance with a scary smile.

"Well so it is!" He stepped forward.

"Simon you impressed us. We had you down as one of the ones that was going to rest on pretty,"

Simon scratched his head. "I can do that?"

"-But you proved you are more than a nerdy Jewish white boy who happens to be attractive. What that 'more' is, I don't know. But I'm looking forward to finding out just WHO Simon is. Thank you."

"You're welcome Tyra."

"You're not supposed to say anything other than thank you." She corrected him.

"Oh. Thank you." He took the picture and went to stand alone off to the side. He felt alone there, away from the comfort of the pack. But that was life.

He decided to study his picture in a thoughtful manner and avoid eye contact.

"The next contestant who will be going in with the hopes of becoming America's next top model is…Magnus." She revealed the photo, and Magnus smiled and went through the motions of receiving the photo without a hitch.

One by one the contestant's names were called, and they stepped up to join the group of the chosen.

"Isabelle."

"Maia."

"Alec."

"Clary."

"Sebastian."

"Raphael."

Jace, Meliorn, and Aline stood there taking in the seriousness of the situation. None of them moved, as Tyra stared at them for an interminable amount of time.

"Jace," she said finally. He breathed a sigh of relief and stepped forward to take his picture.

"Jace, you're hot," Tyra told him. "But we feel that unless you step it up, you're going to be stuck at Abercrombie." She shook her head sadly.

"I'll step it up," he assured her. "Thank you."

Now Aline and Meliorn were really squirming a bit. They both got the feeling that Tyra wasn't too fond of them.

"Two of you stand before me," Tyra said. "But I only have one photo in my hands."

The other contestants were squirming a bit for them now.

"Meliorn," Tyra started. "You have a unique look, but modeling is about passion, and I just don't see that either in person or in the photo. All that the judges see… is a poker face. If you're going to carry on in this competition, you'll have to prove that you can express more than that.

He kept his poker face on, as Tyra turned to Aline.

"Aline," she said seriously. "Both of you have a similar problem. You have striking and unique features as well. You're a beautiful girl. But that isn't coming through in the pho-to."

Aline nodded, and swallowed.

"So who's going to go on in the competition?" she asked them, as if she were waiting for the answer to come to her, rather than dragging out a decision that had already been made.

She revealed the photo.

"Aline."

Aline hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath, but she let it out when her name was called.

Meliorn was concerned that she might try and hug him or something, but she didn't. She just stepped forward to take the photo.

Seelia was glaring at Tyra's back. "I think you were given a tough break," she turned to Meliorn. "I would hire you. You have my number, stop by my agency and you can go straight to the front of the line, and come straight to my office." She gave him a meaningful look.

He bowed. "Thank you, Milady."

She nodded.

Tyra twitched. "Goodbye Meliorn. You'll have to go back and pack your things."

Isabelle was twitching as well. Part of her wanted to run up and embrace him, but she also had to act properly in front of the judges. Her desire to say goodbye won out, and she rushed up to him.

"Will you call me?" she asked, hugging him.

"Maybe," he hedged.

"Oh Meliorn," she hugged him tight.

He looked down at her, and at Seelia who was staring.

He pried Isabelle off him. "Now is not the time for such activities," he said uncomfortably. "Goodbye."

"Good bye," she sighed as he turned to walk out the door. "Look at him go." she sniffed.

"Indeed!" Aldertree agreed. "Will you look at that!" he leaned forward in his seat to watch the show, and started mumbling. "Solid cement walls…specially designed bars…deer blood," he went on, talking to his hands.

Simon listened with growing alarm, and squeaked, "Deer blood?!"

It seemed nobody else had caught the little man's mumbling, and Simon got a few strange looks.

"You alright there?" Magnus raised an eyebrow at him.

"Thank you all!" Tyra exclaimed. "You will have the rest of the day to relax. First you'll all be taken to your workout, while the eliminated one gets his stuff out of the way. Continue being fierce," she told them, as they were dismissed from the room.

* * *

**Meliorn's exit interview**

The editors spliced images of Meliorn gathering his stuff with a voiceover of his parting words. They were as follows:

"I'm not that disappointed really. It's clear that no one here was on my level anyway. And maybe I'll actually get a decent night's sleep now. By the way, Bat Boy, if you're seeing this, you're extremely annoying. I hope that bunk breaks one day from your incessant jumping and you die. That would probably kill that glasses kid too, but he talked too much anyway. And you, Sebastian, the slutty kid that dared to touch me, you'll never be good enough for Seelia. She's just using you. She's probably dumped you by the time you see this anyway. You're just a temporary boy toy okay? But I'm going to go all the way. Seelia and I understand each other, and she's going to make me famous. Isabelle, you were hot, but it could never work between us."

He paused.

"Good times though. I'm sorry for you that all the guys that will be left here are gay."

And with that, he dragged his bags out and left the house.

Tyra reviewed the footage. "At least he knew how to give an exit interview." She admitted begrudgingly.

In the limo once again, the contestants had mixed feelings about the first elimination. It was very draining, and they were all just glad they weren't the ones packing.

"Well," Jace said. "Can't say I'll cry over him."

"I didn't even know his name," Simon admitted. "And we were roommates."

"Oh yes, the roommate thing," Jace said. "Now Sebastian can move out."

To his surprise, the other boy didn't protest. "It will be like old times Raphael." Sebastian said. He knew it was to his advantage to keep an eye on the competition, rather than be secluded.

"Verdaderamente," the other boy agreed.

"You could just say 'indeed', you twit." Sebastian told him. "Isn't that simpler?"

"Don't bother me." Raphael's voice held a warning, and Sebastian shut up.

"I really thought I was doomed," Aline admitted. "Apparently I'm not all that interesting."

"You're interesting," Maia protested.

"You're a good fighter," Jace said, as if this were the highest compliment. "We should do that again."

"Sure," she agreed.

Clary tapped her foot. She wished she were less incompetent. Jace seemed to really get into the fighting thing. Maybe she could ask him to show her a few moves. Until she learned a thing or two, that would involve a lot of losing. That meant a lot of getting thrown to the mat, and pinned there. By Jace.

"I'd like to learn some fighting moves, for self defense and stuff." Yeah yeah, self defense.

"I could teach you how to kill a man, by stabbing him in the back so that the blade pierces his heart." Sebastian suggested.

"Who would ever kill someone that way," Jace said, shaking his head in disgust. "That's cowardly."

"If you're outmatched, that's the only way to do it." Sebastian said simply.

"Why are we killing people?!" Simon threw his hands in the air. "We're trying to be models, not assassins!"

"This is hypothetical, obviously." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "For the off chance you might need to kill someone."

"If I needed to kill someone," Simon said, "I would shoot them!"

Everyone considered that.

"That just might work also," Sebastian said finally.

"Shoot them with what, a bow and arrow?" Clary asked. It wasn't as if he was old enough to carry a gun, or even knew how to use one.

"I'll have you know I practiced archery for six years at camp," Simon said huffily. "And while you're all worried about kicking and stabbing I would be a safe distance away, saving all your butts with the swiftness of my arrows."

"Okay Legolas, you do that." Jace said, sounding doubtful of the success of that plan.

"Meliorn was the elvish one," Isabelle sniffed. "His ears were cute. They were so…so-

"Pointy?" Jace supplied helpfully.

"They were," Isabelle agreed.

"He was a dick." Sebastian summarily declared.

"He was, a bit," she agreed. "But he had a nice-

"Izzy!" Alec warned, looking horrified.

"…_Smile_." She finished. "He hardly ever smiled, but when he did it was nice. _God_ Alec, where is _your_ mind at." She folded her arms and looked out the window with a frown on her face.

He rubbed his temples and held back a groan of embarrassment. "It's just- Sebastian just called him a- ugh, never mind."

"There, there," Sebastian said. "We'll all miss him in our own way."

"I miss that he was _quiet_," Magnus said sharply. "I feel like we could try it for a few minutes."

There was something about the way he said it that made them all sit silently for the remainder of the ride to the gym.

* * *

The workout was harder this time. Bat seemed to have gotten over the initial excitement of having girls to talk to, and he made it tougher for the guys.

When they got back to the model house, everyone was pretty much wiped out be the exhausting outing, and they went for the fridge, the showers, and the beds. So much for the craziness of living in a house full of hot young people. They were too tired to celebrate their survival of elimination.

Alec started to head upstairs, but he winced and paused when he felt a sharp pain in his left shin, on the inside of the bone. He tested his weight on it, and felt the pain again.

_Oh shit._ His tense hands gripped the railing in frustration. The numbing effect of the exercise had worn off, and he knew that was why he just now felt the injury. It was right where he'd once had a stress fracture. And the bump of bone that had healed over caused really painful shin splints when the tendons pulled away from the sensitive area.

He went back into the kitchen, and grabbed a bag of frozen vegetables, then went upstairs to sit in his room and ice. He didn't limp, as he tried to prove to himself that it wasn't that bad. That he wasn't going to have to take days off running, and baby the damn injury to prevent another fracture.

_You're so stupid Alec,_ he thought bitterly. _You didn't have to push past that breaking point just to get in a hundred mile week. _

He sat on the floor and leaned against the bed while he pressed the equally stupid mixed veggies to his shin, feeling more than a little sorry for himself. But he was mostly angry that he _had_ gone into the mode of thinking he was invincible, when training had gone so well. This was a setback right when that was the last thing he needed.

With effort, he stifled the negative thoughts. They weren't going to help anything.

A few minutes later Magnus came out from the bathroom, and threw his workout clothes in a harsh movement that told Alec he was ticked off. Any doubt about this was put to rest moments later when Magnus started complaining.

"_Sir_ my ass! As a person who can't even submit to street signs, there's no way in hell I'm going to listen to that batty crackpot. Who, by the way, has one of the worst cases of an inferiority complex that I have ever seen. I can tell you that the whole, 'kneel before addressing me', is not in any way happening."

Alec smiled halfheartedly and shook his head when Magnus looked to him.

Magnus stopped his rant abruptly. "Are you icing your shin with…" he squinted. "-Frozen mixed vegetables?"

"Yeah. They're pretty freezer burned, probably left from last season-or cycle. Whatever it's called, I figured no one is going to eat them."

"You're hurt?" Magnus couldn't care less about frozen produce.

"It's nothing. Just shin splints," Alec said quickly. "I can take care of it."

The tall boy frowned and knelt to Alec's level. "Let me see."

"There's nothing to see," the last thing Alec wanted was to draw this kind of attention to his idiocy.

Magnus was having none of it. "Your inner shin right? Does it feel like bone?"

"Well, bone related." Alec admitted.

Magnus looked concerned now. "May I check it?"

Alec paused, and finally gave in. He moved the makeshift coolant aside and rubbed the spot that hurt. "It's there."

Very gently, Magnus rolled his fingers over the spot, pressing just hard enough to get a sense of the bone. They both winced, though Alec immediately disguised it by coughing into his hand.

"You had quite a stress fracture here didn't you? Judging by this bump, you ran on a cracked bone for a long time." Magnus' disapproval was evident.

"Ah, maybe. Probably." Alec admitted.

"It's no wonder you've got shin splints. Your muscles are overtaxed, so the strain is going to your tendons. And the old stress fracture's just making it easier for them to tear away from the bone."

"You seem to know a lot about this." Alec raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Med student hon." Magnus replied.

"_You_?" Alec realized immediately that was probably rude. Damn.

Magnus raised an eyebrow and smiled wryly. "So surprised. I suppose my selfish tendencies might make it seem odd. " He stood and started rummaging through one of the drawers of the armoire.

"I don't think you're selfish. You've been going out of your way for me."

Magnus paused, and realized it was true. He had been going out of his way for Alec.

"Well if you were thinking that I don't seem the type to spend my life sitting around a hospital, you're right. I plan on working from home, to do more alternative, natural stuff. But I'll have a degree, so I won't seem like so much of a…"

"Witch doctor?" Alec supplied helpfully.

"That works for me." Magnus shrugged. "Now, I'm guessing you don't want to take too much time off from running."

Alec sighed, trying to let go of some of the tension he felt. "Yeah. I'll just take a bunch of painkillers."

"You can take them until you can't feel your feet, and it'll just mask the pain."

"I don't know what else to do."

"Did the icing help?"

Alec considered saying that it had, and that he felt 100% better. But he decided to be honest.

"No. Not really." He admitted.

"Okay. So try heat. Take a hot shower and then try a deep tissue massage. Do you know how to do that?"

Alec's heart skipped a beat, and that was another problem altogether. He cleared his throat, but the answer still came out strangled. "…No."

"It's not hard. I'll show you, and then you can do it for yourself next time."

"You'll, ah, show me?"

Magnus saw the Adam's apple of Alec's throat move as he swallowed. "I want to help, would that be okay?"

Alec seemed to be thinking it over. He seemed nervous about something, and just when Magnus thought he was going to say no, he said something completely different.

"Um, I just think I should warn you, just so you're not surprised or anything, that," he took a deep breath. "I shave my legs."

Magnus almost cracked up. So that was what was getting Alec all worked up? But part what kept him from cracking up is that he found that quite hot.

"Yes I know," he said. "You were wearing shorts when you were running."

"Oh," Alec said lamely. "I didn't think you would have noticed."

The silly boy, of course he'd noticed. He was staring at Alec every chance he got. "It's really not a big deal Alec."

The blue-eyed boy seemed to want to explain. "It's just because of the bike races I do. And because I have to tape up my calves for shin splints all the time, and it gets annoying to rip the tape off. It's not that I want to do it, for um, vanity or something."

Magnus saw that it to Alec that he acknowledge this. "That's perfectly logical. I understand."

Alec was so hopelessly gone now, the blood rushing in his ears nearly drowned out his racing thoughts. It was almost easier to be casual at this point, when he could hardly think of any other way to be.

"Yeah, okay. I'll just go shower now then." He stood and wobbled a bit before catching himself. "I'm fine," he said, as he grabbed clothes and disappeared into the bathroom.

Magnus let his breath out. Alec was getting so nerved up about this that it was actually making him nervous. He was going to get his fingers all oiled up and go work on Alec's…

…Legs. Just common limbs that allowed for bipedal movement.

God were they ever cute limbs though. He'd always had a thing for long, leanly toned legs.

_Calm down babe_, he admonished his horny nineteen year old thoughts. _This is about Alec, not you. _He looked at the bottle of massage lotion in his hands.

It was hard to convince himself he wasn't getting anything out of this.

* * *

Alec showered and dressed, as he stepped onto the ridiculously fluffy bathroom carpet to look in the mirror.

There was a knock. "Are you decent?" Magnus' voice was slightly muffled by the door, but Alec still thought that muffled or not, that voice was just agh, too much. It was sex is what it was.

He snuck a glance at himself in the mirror. Was he decent? Good question. His hair was wildly sticking up a bit in random places from vigorous towel drying. He ran his fingers through it in an attempt to tame it, but he'd cut it himself and it wasn't exactly even. It resisted his amateur attempt.

"Oh, fuck it." He said to under his breath to his reflection. He supposed he looked passable. Passable for what anyway? This was nothing. He needed to get a grip.

"Yeah," he said to Magnus.

The other boy didn't hesitate another moment to barge in. He kicked the door closed behind him, out of habit of course.

"We ought to do this in the bathroom," he said with authority. "As little as I care for a neat environment, I don't know how the network would feel about me ruining the carpet. This stuff can get messy." He waved the bottle around.

"You're the doctor, and I don't mind." Alec said, actually relieved. "So where do you want me?"

Magnus could think of several ways to answer that question, but he held back. "You should sit."

Alec nodded, and perched himself on the edge of the pointless and elaborately tiled Jacuzzi. _Why would they put that thing in here_? He wondered.

Magnus sat on the fluffy rug, and twisted the cap off the bottle. He was trying not to be completely distracted by how Alec looked like this, with tousled damp hair and skin just slightly flushed from the heat of the shower. He was wearing long shorts, and nervously flexing his bare toes in the luxury of the carpet.

"I'm going to do both legs, because whatever you do to treat an injury should be as even as possible. Otherwise you're asking for more problems." Hey, it was true.

"Got it," Alec said, his toes clenching. "What is that stuff?"

"Massage oil. Apricot oil, to be precise. The vitamin E makes it good for your skin."

"It smells good," Alec commented, as he watched Magnus apply a liberal amount to both hands.

"An extra perk," Magnus agreed. He was more focused on the fact that close as they were, he couldn't help but notice that _Alec_ smelled so good. It was a clean boy smell with a hint of soap and fresh linen, a scent that was uniquely Alec. Strange that such a simple scent could be so intoxicating.

Magnus started on the uninjured leg, so that Alec would be relaxed for when he did the other. He pressed his fingers lightly on either side of Alec's ankle, and very gently slid his hands up to just above the knee. He took a breath, in and out.

"You have to start lightly, until your muscles warm up, and then you can apply more pressure," he informed Alec.

Alec remembered suddenly that he was supposed to be paying attention to how to do this, and not just concentrating on how it felt when Magnus' slim fingers slid up over his knee like that, just barely touching the skin of his thigh that was covered by his shorts.

As promised, Magnus started to apply more pressure when he felt Alec's tensed muscles relaxing under his fingers, but he always traced back down lightly.

"You don't want to put pressure on the down stroke though," he told Alec. "It's not good for your veins."

"Mm." Alec tried to remember what veins did. They brought blood towards the heart didn't they? Yes, that was it.

"…So you do this for five minutes, then start getting into the muscles in the back of your calf,"

Alec felt splayed fingers press into the back of his leg. He resisted the urge to squirm at the odd sensation at having his sore muscles prodded.

Magnus alternated between massaging the back of Alec's calf and the tendons and muscles on either side of the shin bone, oiling his hands up when necessary. He got into a rhythm, as he enjoyed the feel of Alec's skin under his fingertips.

After about fifteen minutes on that leg, he moved on to the other. "Tell me if I'm hurting you," he warned Alec. "It might be a little uncomfortable but it shouldn't hurt."

"I'll tell you," Alec agreed quietly. It was unbelievable that Magnus would be this nice to him.

Magnus was even more careful with this leg, and he never pressed on the tender spot. He only hoped that if these muscles weren't so tight, the tendons might not pull so painfully.

Alec realized he'd been apprehensive about Magnus touching near his injury when he noticed he was gripping the tile edge. But he soon relaxed when he found it felt very, very good. Magnus' hands were incredibly soothing. He sighed, emitting a small sound of pleasure.

Magnus almost faltered when he heard that sound, and he realized he probably ought to say something. For the sake of his own sanity.

"Do you like living here?" He looked up at Alec briefly as he was stroking down the back of his calf.

Alec considered. "I thought I would hate it, and the cameras are a little weird. But it is nice to break out of the routine of being at home, and doing the same thing every day."

"And here I thought you liked routine." Magnus was slightly surprised.

"Sometimes," Alec admitted. "But sometimes I think I'm bored out of my mind without realizing it." He smiled wryly. "Or maybe _I'm_ just boring."

"You're the furthest thing from that," Magnus said, looking up at him and holding his gaze for a moment.

Alec flushed with embarrassment. Would Magnus think he'd been fishing for compliments? He hadn't been. He'd expected a snarky answer if anything, what with hanging around Jace and Isabelle all the time. 'At least you have your health,' they'd say, and he'd think of some sort of retort.

But right now he realized he should return a compliment.

"Oh…you too." He said. God that sounded lame. But at least he'd meant it.

After a minute, Magnus stood. "Well hon, you're all set. So tell me, have I worked my magic?"

Alec stood gingerly, prepared for and dreading the sharp pain. He took a few steps towards the sink, and felt nothing. He jumped in place, hardly believing this had really worked so well.

"Whoa there," Magnus said quickly. "There's no reason to push it-

"Can I run on this?" Alec interrupted. "I mean, sorry, thank you, I should have said that first but it doesn't hurt at all and-

"I'd say you can run on it," Magnus smiled. "If you tape your arches it would help also."

"Thank you," Alec said, quietly overwhelmed. "I'm very grateful." He felt such a rush of warmth toward Magnus. He also felt quite buzzed from being touched, even if it had been innocent. "I don't even know what to say."

Now Magnus was slightly embarrassed by _how_ grateful Alec was. It hadn't been an imposition in the slightest.

"You're welcome, really. It was nothing." He ran a hand through his hair, unconsciously messing it. He stopped himself before

"It wasn't 'nothing'," Alec insisted. "It was-

He put one hand on Magnus' shoulder and gently pressed his lips to the other boy's mouth, a quick kiss that he broke off quickly. "It was-nice," he finished, as his breathing quickened.

Desperately, he searched Magnus' face for a sign that what he'd just done was remotely okay. The tall boy looked completely shocked, his eyes were wide.

"Oh god," Alec said. "What the fuck was that!? I practically attacked you-I just…I really like you, and I didn't even think." He turned away, wanting to leave but realizing that would mean walking right out into camera monitored territory, and the thought of doing that right now was terrifyingly.

"You 'really like' me?" Magnus said to his back. Alec thought he heard a smile in his voice, but that was probably wishful thinking. He turned, trying to think of something to say. "I think so-I mean…yes damn it!" He blinked at his own enthusiasm, and after a pause added, "Sorry."

Magnus' mouth threatened to twitch into a thrilled grin, but he tried to be serious. "Why, 'sorry'?"

"I don't know," Alec mumbled. "I'm sorry for bothering you, and you helped me and then I…took advantage. Oh god," He said again. He was strongly considering retreat, but he ought to deal with the consequences of his actions. He turned around to face Magnus, feeling a sinking feeling in his stomach as he prepared to face rejection, even heartbreak-yet again.

Magnus stepped up to him, and tilted Alec's chin up to look him in the eye. "You can take advantage any time you want." He said, with barely a hint of humor. "But really Alec, why do you think I want to help you, and do things for you?"

Alec swallowed, caught up in how close they were. "Because it's…Wednesday?" Well...he never claimed his brain was working in this situation.

"Because I really like you too." Magnus said simply. "I love how determined you are, and how you're fun to talk to, and how you're way too serious, but then you laugh and-I could go on and on really. But really I'd much rather just kiss you right now."

"-_I'm_ fun?" But Magnus' mouth cut off his words.

Alec had a moment of panic that he didn't know how to kiss, not real kissing. He put a hand on Magnus' chest, pushing him back for a moment. "Wait," he said, feeling frozen.

Magnus frowned. "Is something wrong?" he tried to hide his apprehension.

"I'm just-I'm probably bad at kissing. I've never done it. Just to… uh, warn you." Alec said, wanting to kick himself the instant the words left his mouth. What was he, thirteen? How stupid. It was amazing that Magnus wasn't laughing at him right now.

"I see," the other boy didn't sound incredibly surprised. Alec thought that made it worse. He must be so obviously inept.

Magnus closed the small space between them again. He reached for Alec's hand, while he used his free hand to trace the thrillingly soft skin at the back of Alec's neck. "Well I'll admit I've kissed people before, but I don't claim to be an expert. However, no one's watching. And the point of it is that it feels good."

Alec was gripping his hand tight. Magnus rolled his thumb over the boy's exquisitely delicate wrist, and sighed. "I love touching you. Do you like touching me?"

"I kissed you didn't I?" Alec said, almost absently. He was caught up in the heat burning in Magnus' amazing, golden green eyes.

"Mm," Magnus smiled, not even able to express how happy that made him. "And did you like it?"

Alec couldn't believe the next thing that came out of his mouth. "Yes, but I know that-that usually, tongues get involved." What the hell was he saying now?!

Magnus' heart pounded away in his chest. But he spoke as if analyzing the statement clinically. "Would you _like_ tongues to be involved?" He licked ever so lightly at the crease of Alec's slightly parted lips.

Alec's body hummed at the sensation of that tongue on his lips, and let his own tongue flick out to tease it.

"Yes," he groaned.

Everything changed in a moment. Their mouths crashed together so hungrily, Alec thought they were lucky there were no crunched noses or chipped teeth. Not that either of them would have cared about such a trivial thing at this point. Suddenly, their hands were no longer clasped together, but tangled in hair, clutching at clothing, and coming to rest only briefly on the curve of a cheek or the slenderest part of a waist.

Alec was no longer concerned about doing this right. He was just lost in it. If he had the presence of mind to worry about it, the only thing that concerned him were the embarrassing, shameless noises he seemed to make if he didn't concentrate on holding back.

Magnus had no problem with the delicious sounds Alec was making. He tensed at the urgency and the vibration of a particularly enthusiastic moan, and groaned himself. His fingers pulled rougher in Alec's hair, tilting his head back just a bit more for a better angle. This was bliss, exploring the heat of Alec's sweet mouth. And Alec's own restless hands sent sparks through him like lightening.

Alec was gaining confidence by the moment. He hadn't realized how much he really wanted this, 'this' being someone who wanted him back. He'd told himself it wasn't necessary, and that he could wait on Jace forever, even if it led to guilt and sadness. It was a good excuse after all.

Actually it was a terrible excuse, but not the only one he had. He had layers upon layers of reasons and excuses why he couldn't find someone to be in a relationship with.

But he was glad for every damn excuse, if they had led to Magnus, to _this_. Their bodies were pressed flush against each other, and still Alec wanted to get closer, somehow. He clutched the back of Magnus' shirt, bunching it in his fingers, before clawing down the other boy's slim back. Magnus made a strangled noise of enjoyment into Alec's mouth, before breaking away gasping. He pressed his lips to Alec's throat, nuzzling gently, and breathing him in. "Yes," he whispered. "God Alec."

Alec was trying to catch his breath, but it was hopeless. Perhaps the next thing he'd have to ask about kissing is how to remember to breathe during it. But he had more pressing questions at the moment.

"You like that?" He dragged his nails back up Magnus' back.

"_Yes_," Magnus hissed. He arched into the touch, at the point of practically purring.

Alec gasped at the way Magnus' movement had pressed their bodies together in different, delicious ways. He tentatively hooked a leg around Magnus' body, rubbing his foot up and down the back of Magnus' calf. "And…do you like that?"

Did he _like_ that? Magnus marveled. What a question. He loved that Alec was experimenting, and not nearly as shy as he had expected. Still… "You're far too coherent," Magnus managed. He lifted Alec's other leg so that two long legs were wrapped around him.

Alec yelped in surprise, but the sound was stifled when Magnus was kissing him again. He was being carried, and he deposited gently on the counter between the double sinks. Alec kept his legs wrapped around Magnus' body as the other boy stood between them.

_He's stronger than he looks_, Alec thought absently. Then he couldn't think at all, as Magnus took his lower lip into his mouth, and sucked on it gently.

Alec jerked at the intense sensation, it was almost overwhelming. But Magnus was relentless in his ministrations. He began to nibble the quivering lip, forcing a small keening sound from Alec's mouth. Magnus licked the flushed, kiss bruised lip once more before moving down to Alec's neck again.

He started nibbling and sucking there, intent on leaving a mark. Alec started gasping, breathing fast. He'd never realized it could feel so good to have someone lavishing attention on his neck. There was something instinctually vulnerable about baring your throat to someone. Perhaps that was part of the thrill of it.

Magnus felt the warm tickle of Alec's quick, mewling breaths in his ear. His body was wracked with a shudder, and he bit down on Alec's neck.

Alec cried out, shaking now. He reached back to clutch at something, but his hands couldn't find purchase. He ended up dragging his hand down the steam fogged mirror, as water droplets clung to his skin.

"Magnus," he moaned. He no longer had the strength to keep his legs wrapped around the other boy, and his feet dangled as he tried to figure out what to do with his hands, with his mouth, with his body. There was so much his body wanted, but that little niggling voice nagged that he was getting carried away.

He wanted to tell that voice to shut the fuck up for once.

The other boy took hold of the clenching hand and kissed the droplets of water away from heated skin.

"We should stop," Alec whispered, as Magnus laced their fingers together, their joined hands resting on Alec's restless thigh. "But I don't want to stop."

Magnus pushed a few damp strands of raven hair away from the pale curve of Alec's cheek. The boy's blue eyes were huge in his streamlined face, and he was biting at his now slightly swollen lower lip.

Magnus bit his own lip, hard. How Alec looked right now- it almost hurt.

He traced the perfect cheekbone, and thrilled at the way Alec leaned into his touch. But they didn't break eye contact.

"When I would look at you; I'd imagine what it would it would be like to touch you this way." Magnus half smiled at the admission. "But the actuality," he shook his head in amazement. "It's like being burned by something I didn't know was that hot."

Alec blinked in confusion.

"I mean," Magnus continued. "I'm in way over my head babe. And I got carried away."

"I don't think we've really come close to getting carried away yet," Alec disagreed.

Magnus' eyebrows shot up. "Did I detect a hint of a challenge in there darling?"

Alec ached to feel Magnus' mouth on the shockingly sensitive skin of his neck, and he squirmed in frustration, panting. "Please," he breathed, finally. "Just don't stop yet." He tilted his head to expose his throat. He desperately hoped Magnus would want to tease and suckle there again.

Magnus had no words, and he really didn't have the strength to resist that desperate, arousing plea. He just tugged the collar of Alec's t-shirt, to bare the porcelain slope of one shoulder. He pressed tiny, barely there kisses all around the curve of it. "Alec," he groaned appreciatively.

Alec found it maddening. The faint touches of lips to skin set his skin afire, but he wanted more. He slid his hands down to Magnus' waist. He slipped his fingertips just under the shirt, touching the wonderfully smooth skin in the hollows just to the inside of Magnus' hipbones.

Rather than discouraging him, Magnus' sharp intake of breath when Alec slid a thumb under the waistband of his jeans only made Alec want to go further.

"Perhaps you were right," Alec commented, as he traced the bone of Magnus' hip. "About getting carried," he panted. "-away."

"Did I say that?" Magnus managed. "Probably true."

"Mm, probably." Alec admitted, as his hand traveled upwards over naked skin, over the ridges of Magnus' ribs.

Magnus pressed his lips to the corner of Alec's mouth, licking at the point where his lips began. "I'm stopping now," he said.

"Me too," Alec groaned, moving his hand up to the slight muscle of Magnus' chest.

"We'll stop on the count of three," Magnus said, rubbing a circular pattern on Alec's thigh, unconsciously moving inward and upward.

"Ah," Alec gasped. But he had the presence of mind to nod once in assent.

"One…" Magnus nibbled at Alec's neck again as the other boy threw his head back in satisfaction. But his hand on Magnus' chest stalled for only a moment.

"Two," Magnus closed his eyes as Alec's fingers got closer and closer to a nipple. "…one-point nine,"

"You're going backwards," Alec breathed.

Magnus smiled against Alec's pulse point. "And here I thought I was getting somewhere," his hand on Alec's thigh moved tantalizingly close to where Alec needed it to be.

"One-point eight," Alec said in a strangled whisper.

At that moment there was a loud knock on the door. They froze.

"Ah, hello," a voice called out.

"Three," Alec said hastily, scrambling to get off the counter.

On second thought, he realized perhaps he ought to remain seated.

"Yes," Magnus half growled back, his arms folded in frustration.

The person on the other side seemed to pause for a moment. "Can I open the door?"

"Knock yourself out." Magnus replied. "Next time, preferably before you disturb the peace."

The door swung open. Simon stood there, waving awkwardly.

The two other boys just stared in silence as they waited to hear the point of this intrusion.

"Well," he began. "There's a Tyra Mail, and evidently we are all supposed to gather to read it, in unison. Either that, or choose whoever has the most annoying voice to read it aloud while we all listen."

"Have Clary read it," Alec suggested.

Simon narrowed his eyes in annoyance, but because of the glasses he looked more like he was squinting. Alec and Magnus wondered if the kid was half blind.

_That couldn't hurt_, Alec thought, as he folded his legs up to his chest.

Simon pointed at Alec in an almost ridiculously hilarious gesture. "You," he accused. "Made me gay!"

"I _what?_"

Magnus raised an eyebrow. "You never cease to amaze me Alec. Although I'm not terribly surprised you have that ability." he commented.

"I mean you made me out to be gay!" Simon said, adding some incredibly necessary words. "Jace is hinting it to Clary, and once she's got something in her head there's no talking to her. You should have seen her when I went on that trip and brought Eric instead of her. She was all 'how could you leave me Simon!?' Never mind that she never hesitates to do things without telling _me._ And it was going to be a guy's day! We were going to try and sneak into this over twenty one club, since Eric said it was easy to get away with it. But we didn't get away with it, and I said we weren't going to. Still, it would have been way better than that damn Pandemonium that Clary always wants to go to, and I'm sure you can't blame a man for trying." He looked to them for agreement.

"Are you done?" Alec felt that monologue was far too long and pointless to absorb in the addled state his brain was in.

"You really weren't listening at the door were you?" was Magnus' comment on Simon's speech.

"I heard counting," Simon admitted. "But I just came to get you guys, because nobody else wanted to do it. Well Jace did, but then Clary distracted him and there was _no_ way he was going to leave _then_. And Sebastian said something weird about 'having to plot more before another attempt to get in on that'. I have no idea what he was talking about but in any event, we need to go read the Tyra Mail." Simon turned on his heel and marched out of the room, closing the door behind him, oddly enough.

_Perhaps he's not so clueless after all_? Magnus raised an eyebrow thoughtfully.

The two boys looked at each other. Magnus smiled and spoke first. "Impeccable timing, that one."

"He talks a lot." Alec grumbled_. _

Magnus helped Alec to his feet. He grinned. "I have no interest in him. After all, it's always the quiet ones."

"The quiet ones what?" Alec demanded.

"Have the most to say," Magnus finished. "Let's go, they're waiting on us."

* * *

**.**

**.**

**.**

**So…yeah you guys! That really just happened. I have to say, when I was writing this Alec and Magnus were fighting me because they just did not want to stop. I had to scream at them that this was rated 'T', not 'M', and they needed to cool it, haha. **

**Don't be too hard on me, I don't often write that kind of thing.**

**Happy 2010 to everybody! And thank you for your reviews!**

**Sayomi Mayako: The judges were totally afraid. What would you have done to them? Seriously, I couldn't let either of them go before at least giving them one make out scene, haha.**

**Evaishere: the now is right now. Hope you liked it! (crosses fingers)**

**Somecrazyshit: thanks! And yay for reviewing in class!**

**Azalee Charlin: Thank you! I really hope you continue to like it. :)**

**Ellenfp: thankyou dahling. :D**

**LA-EL-LAS: Hope you're still having fun!**

**Katara-alchemist: Thank you, there will be more. :)**

**Pawfoot: Still catching those pairings? I'm sensing a few. XD**

**No-name: Well you were right! Meliorn is good bye. Thx for reviewing!**

**MagnusSpark: I will seriously consider your request, haha. Also, it makes me happy to know that someone appreciates my humor besides me! Thx! :D**

**Perdyprincess: don't worry there will be more Clary and Jace. And Meliorn is gone!**

**BurningxImpossiblyxBright: Congrats on calling Meliorn's elimination haha, yeah you just don't piss off Tyra. I'm glad you like Izzy, I love her. :)**

**Lost-In –Thought15: Haha, I totally have a huge crush on Alec anyway! So it's okay if you do! I'm glad you liked Bat. I think perhaps you are the only person who doesn't mind Clary, haha. I don't mind her SO much though. :) I'm glad you thought that was cute! **

**Coolnesskate: You're welcome. I hope you liked this chapter. I'm glad you think it's progressing well. I worry I'm too slow with it sometimes!**

**Jazz.: Hi there to you! You're forgiven, haha. Happy New Year and merry Christmas to you. :)**

**And to the person who posted anonymously with no name, I loved your review too! Thank you, mysterious stranger. :)**


	9. One phonecall

**Hey you guys. I don't own this book series, or this television series. I hope you like the chapter! :)**

**And the awesome katara alchemist colored the picture of Magnus, I linked it in my profile. Btw, I like your other stuff too katara! Check her out on deviantart people.**

**I love you all, as much as I can without knowing you. :)**

* * *

When everyone was gathered in the main sitting room, Simon plucked the Tyra mail from its place card holder on the small table. The others allowed this, because ever since Simon had been called first at panel, he had become just a bit more respected.

"Alright," he held up the envelope. "We'll do it like this, to avoid chaos. Whoever holds the Tyra mail may speak. You can raise your hand if you want it."

The others nodded.

"So," he began. "Where did this thing come from? How long has it been here? And most importantly, how did it get here?"

Maia raised her hand, so Simon handed the letter to her.

"Well," she began. "I walked past this to go to the kitchen and there was nothing there. I checked the fridge, grabbed a soda, and came back. Only this time, it was there."

Jace started to say something, but Simon quickly interrupted. "Raise your hand!"

He begrudgingly did, and the letter was passed to him.

"I would just like to know why we haven't gotten one before. Usually there's a Tyra Mail before every photo shoot, with some cryptic little message. So, why is this the first one? Something strange is going on."

Raphael raised his hand and was passed the Tyra Mail.

"Because whoever is in charge of this forgot." He hypothesized.

"Tyra would never forget that!" Jace protested, as he snatched it back. "And isn't she in charge?"

Raphael snatched it back. "There must be someone else in charge then. Maybe someone even higher up than Tyra."

The thought was frightening.

"This is a conspiracy!" Jace proclaimed. "Someone's playing us like puppets, I'm telling you. Hasn't anyone else had the feeling that their actions are controlled almost beyond their free will?" He started to pace the room. "Has anyone had a sense of déjà vu so strong you know you've been in this situation, or seen a certain person- before?" he looked around at all of them. His gaze softened when he looked at Clary, but he continued. "Or that we're really supposed to be somewhere else _right at this moment_?"

Everyone tried to shake off their feelings of paranoia. Simon didn't even berate Jace for not holding the Tyra Mail while speaking.

Sebastian snatched the letter. "By Raziel's sword, who gives a flying Mortal Cup about how it got here or who's in charge. Let's open the fucking thing."

"I agree," Isabelle put in, as she adjusted her tank top. "Everybody's being silly. Just open it Sebastian."

That was all the encouragement he needed to tear into the envelope.

"You can't read it," Simon protested. "You're perfectly perspicuous and literate, half the fun for the viewers is figurin out what the reader is saying."

Sebastian ignored him and started to read aloud.

"You made it in the jungle. But can you make it over here? Be ready at seven-Tyra."

"Over where?" Clary asked the obvious. There were a few silent moments while everyone thought that out.

Isabelle snapped her fingers. "Makeovers," she declared. "It has to be."

"You're right," Jace agreed solemnly. "It's time."

Magnus stood up. "Well, everybody try to enjoy the last night before they ruin us."

"Oh man," Alec was having horrible visions of himself with pink hair. That was definitely the kind of thing that would somehow happen to him.

"We should have a party," Isabelle said. "Here, I guess, since we're not allowed to go anywhere."

Sebastian shook his head. "There's no alcohol. There's no party."

"I wish I could disagree," Magnus said. "But that's true."

"We could take our weekly phone calls," Aline suggested. "We each get to talk to one person that called in, and we have nothing better to do."

"Maybe our parents called," Alec said to his sister.

"If they wasted my one phone call, I'm not going to be happy." Isabelle said.

* * *

Minutes later, she was sitting in the small telephone room. She waited as the operator connected her to her producer picked caller.

"Hi, it's Isabelle," she said, when the call went through.

"_Isabelle_," the voice on the other end breathed. "Even hearing your voice revitalizes me."

She paused a moment. "Blue haired boy?"

"Of course it's me," he answered. "I can't stand to be apart from you for so long!"

She rolled her eyes. Blue haired ex boyfriends were _sooo_ incredibly needy. The boy had practically stalked her in Pandemonium, but she'd gone out with him because with his bright green eyes and unusual style, he was hot. Still, he was a bit of a weirdo, what with the scythe he insisted on carrying around. "Blue haired boy, I told you not to call me. We are over." She absentmindedly checked her nails. "Get used to it."

"I can't Isabelle," he whined. "I need your energy, I feed off it…"

"You're damn creepy, I hope you know that."

"… You're like heroine and personal brands and all that jazz," he continued desperately. "We can't be over."

Now she was getting annoyed. "You cheated on me," she pointed out, "With that blonde Hooters waitress with the porny name. Nixie, or whatever it was. You're lucky I just dumped you, instead of tying you up with piano wire and getting out the whip. And not in a fun way."

"Oh darling, I love it when you're kinky." He sighed. "I've got a big scythe just for you-

"Go to hell," she interrupted, "And get a name." She hung up.

Oddly, the conversation had cheered her up. She told boys what was what. And eventually, she was going to find Mr. Right.

And tell him what was what as well.

* * *

Sebastian was next to take his phone call. It could be any number of people, but he had a pretty good idea as to the nature of the call. He picked up.

"Hello, you've reached Sebastian. Phone sex is not permitted at this number, but for $50.00 per half hour you can call me at-

"JONATHON!" the rampageous voice on the other end bellowed. "YOU _DISGRACE_ THE MORGENSTERN NAME! IS THERE NO DEPTH TO WHICH YOU _WILL NOT SINK_?!!"

Sebastian blinked, momentarily thrown off. Really, how awkward. And of course there were depths he wouldn't sink to. He wouldn't have taken $40.00 for example.

"Hello, Father. I see you have discovered modern technology." He said dryly. "What you are currently using is known as a telephone, and I can hear you from great distances even when you're not screaming my ear off. It really is amazing, I know."

"Don't you _dare_ talk down to me Jonathon," Valentine huffed furiously on the other end. "You're damn lucky I'm talking to you on the phone, because if I was there in person I would STRANGLE you! Is this how you thank me, for all the time I've sacrificed in raising you? By bringing your revolting habits to national television, so you can drape yourself all over deviant homosexuals for the world to see?! I should whip you until you can't stand, nevermind go around some pole!"

"I'm not afraid of you," Sebastian said, peeved by the childish way it came out. He wasn't ten years old anymore.

"You had so much potential," Valentine spat. "If you crawl back to me now, I might not disown you forever. Drop out of college, since you're clearly not capable of being on your own, quit that so called _job_, and let me knock some sense into you."

"Thank you father, but I am exceptionally capable of being on my own." Sebastian said evenly. "I'm not sure you can say the same, but I'm not going to be the one wasting your time." He checked his watch, speaking of wasting time. "I'm sure you can find a bunch of other whacks to join your cult and play mad scientist in the basement."

"JONATHON-

But Sebastian was done listening to this. "Don't call me Jonathon," he hung up.

It felt damn good.

* * *

Jace went into the little room to take his phone call. He picked up the pink phone and spoke into it. "Hey it's the one and only Jace. How is it where I'm not?" he asked cheerfully.

"I taught you to answer the phone better than that Jonathon," the man's disgust was clear in his voice. "Do you remember _nothing_?"

Jace froze. The voice was familiar, but it couldn't be…

"Who is this?" he gripped the phone.

"It's me, your father, Valentine. And you're supposed to say, 'with whom am I speaking.' I can see you've retained none of your training. You disappoint me, endlessly."

Jace felt his heart race, but he kept his voice steady. "You're not my father. Why are you calling me now?" Valentine had been one of the people that he had stayed with as a foster kid, but the man had given him back after a year, with no explanation whatsoever.

"I'm calling you because I want to tell you that you can be my son again. I thought you were a bit of a sissy, but the other Jonathon has turned out to be half prancer, so you'll do." Valentine said.

"What other Jonathon?" Jace asked, completely confused.

"My real son. Sebastian he's going by now, evidently. I don't know where he gets this stuff from."

"_SEBASTIAN?!_" Jace almost dropped the phone.

"I know," Valentine sniffed. "It's ridiculous isn't it Jonathon?"

Jace tried to gather his thoughts. "Morgenstern…I thought it was a coincidence. He's your _son_?! How come I never saw him?"

"Because I kept you both in separate houses," Valentine answered. "Obviously."

Why that should be obvious, Jace did not know. But at least it was an explanation. "And now we're here, on the same reality TV show," he said, amazed. "What a small world it is."

"I suppose," Valentine agreed distractedly. "So you need to come back here and carry on the blonde Aryan race of Morgensterns."

"But Sebastian's not blonde," Jace pointed out. "He has black hair."

"Oh he does, does he?" Valentine grumbled. "The ungrateful boy, I practically genetically engineered the little bastard…" he trailed off into a string of insults.

Jace's head was spinning. He had actually loved Valentine. He got attached way too easily for a kid that could have been sent back to the orphanage. And he had tried so hard to do everything that the man had wanted, but it hadn't been enough.

"I have a family," Jace said firmly. "I'm happy. I'm sorry."

"Jonathon, don't be ridiculous, they're all a bunch of inferior-

"My name is Jace," he gritted his teeth. "And you're a bird killer. Goodbye."

He hung up.

* * *

Clary was next to take her turn on the phone.

"Hello?" she said into it.

"Clarissa," an unfamiliar voice responded. "I can see you have _no_ idea how to properly answer the phone. That's what you get for being raised by your mother."

"Who _is_ this?" Clary demanded.

"It's Valentine, and I'm having issues with my Jonathons, so you're my last resort."

"Hello?" Clary said, utterly puzzled.

There was a pause. Finally the voice spoke again. "You know what, never mind Clarissa. This is a pointless conversation, and I'm not going to continue it."

"Hello?" Clary said again. But the man had hung up.

She slammed the phone down.

"Darn telemarketers," she complained.

* * *

Simon was waiting outside of the room to take his mysterious phone call. He watched discretely through the clear glass as everyone ended their phone call by angrily slamming the phone down. It was making him a bit nervous to pick up the phone. But when Clary walked out, he bravely entered and picked up the petal pink appliance.

"Hello, its Simon," he said tentatively into it.

"Simon, Simon, Simon," a shrill voice purred. "Are you all alone, my dear boy?"

Simon slammed the phone down immediately. "No wonder, everyone's hanging up!" he said aloud. He suddenly had a horrible feeling that Aldertree was going to pop out from underneath the desk.

However, Simon managed to scramble out of the small room without incident.

This time.

* * *

Alec went into the bathroom to brush his teeth, and was oddly moved by the sight of his and Magnus' toothbrushes resting next to each other in the cup.

He knew he must be completely weird that it was one of the most romantic things he'd ever seen.

Magnus walked in and grabbed said toothbrush, before squeezing cinnamon tooth paste onto it. He started to brush his teeth.

Alec cleared his throat. "Magnus?"

"I'm all ears. Well actually I'm pretty much all legs, but you know what I mean."

Alec spoke quickly, before he could psych himself up too much. "I'm sorry if you think I'm being a tease, but I don't want to do anything more than, um, what we did before. I don't know you enough, though I want to get to know you better."

"I agree," Magnus said easily. "Plus…this isn't really the best place is it? What with cameras and all the other people around. About that, however," he caught Alec's eye. "Are you hiding from people that you're gay?"

Alec winced. He hated to hear it put that way, so bluntly. It made him feel more and more like he was being sneaky, or being a liar. He told himself it wasn't anyone's business anyway, and that he wasn't required to tell. But it didn't really help, he _felt_ like a liar, and like he was taking the easy way out. The problem was, the easy way out sucked too.

"Jace knows," he sighed. "He's the only one I've told."

"I didn't think you'd told anyone at all, Magnus admitted. "And that's your decision, but it makes me a little sad because I worry that when I talk to you in front of the others, that you might be uncomfortable. And bathrooms aren't really the place to build a relationship."

"Neither is reality television," Alec sighed. This conversation was way too much of a dose of reality.

"I want to see you, when this is over." Magnus said, sliding his hand over Alec's.

"I want to see you too," Alec said honestly. But he knew it was more complicated than that. Magnus probably wasn't trying to pressure him, but he was making it clear he didn't get a thrill from sneaking around.

But that he'd put up with it for now.

Magnus played with Alec's fingers before raising his arms above his head in a stretch. "I'm going to bed, I'll need my strength for tomorrow. What about you?"

"I might go downstairs for a while," Alec replied.

"Good night then darling," Magnus leaned in and brushed Alec's lips with his. He half smiled at Alec's quiet intake of breath, before turning for the door.

"Cinnamon," Alec said.

Magnus turned. "Hmm?"

Alec touched his lips. "Your toothpaste."

"Oh, yes." He smiled, and touched his own mouth. "Spearmint."

Alec blinked, as Magnus quietly left the small room.

* * *

In the morning, everyone dressed and piled into the limo once again. They were on their way to be transformed.

Simon found himself lost in thought, when he realized something. None of them actually knew who was driving this thing. They let themselves be carted around by this person, without even seeing them, or thanking them. That wasn't right. He decided right then that before he was done with this competition, he would find out who they were, and let them have the spotlight they deserved.

"…So then I was all, 'of course I can grab rim. I can jump over the basket if you want!' And so the kid was all, 'prove it' and so I did," Jace was telling Clary a story.

"That's a good story," Clary said.

"I've heard better," Sebastian commented.

"Too bad we can't hear _your_ stories," Jace said lightly. "But we've all just eaten breakfast."

"Let's tell dirty stories by changing all the dirty words," Aline suggested. "That's fun."

"Okay," Simon agreed. "I think that Aldertree wants to consolidate his debt in my financial institution, but I absolutely refuse to provide service as an intermediary for his capital and debt markets."

There was a moment of silence.

"I'll second that," Magnus said finally. "I don't think anyone wants to facilitate the flow of his money through their economy."

"Ew," Maia wrinkled her nose. " 'the flow'?"

"All this talk of _dinero_ makes me hungry," Raphael said wistfully.

"We're here!" Jace exclaimed, as the limo came to a stop.

Everyone rushed out, except for Simon, who stayed a moment. After just a second of hesitation, he pressed the button to talk to the limo driver.

"Hello, sir- or Ma'am. I'm Simon Lewis. What's your name?"

Simon was starting to think the person wasn't going to answer, when the intercom crackled and words came through.

"I know who you are. I have to drive all the judges around, and the Inquisitor talks about you. When he's alone."

"How lovely," Simon tugged at his collar. "Can you come out?"

The voice crackled through again. "What would be the point of that? It's safe in here."

"There's a whole world out there," Simon said. "It's not all that bad."

Simon heard the sigh. "I've made some decisions I can't take back, for better or worse. And I'm a coward."

"I'm sure you're not," Simon said encouragingly. "Everybody has a little bit of courage in them."

The silence was long this time, and Simon was beginning to think the man was done talking, when the voice spoke again.

"My name is Samuel. And you'd better get going."

Simon smiled. "I will. Nice to meet you Samuel."

Simon hurried after the others, for better or worse.

* * *

Tyra was waiting inside the salon.

"Hellooooo models!"

"Tyyyyyyraaaaa!"

The customary greeting done, Tyra beamed around at them all.

"You all look fabulous. But we need to make you fiercer, and edgier, and modelesque. So today, you're all going to be getting _makeovers!_"

"Huzzah!" Simon exclaimed, guessing this was the appropriate reaction.

"Just so you're prepared, I'm going to explain what's going to be happening to you."

"Happening?" Alec said nervously.

"First Clary," Tyra announced. "Your red hair is pretty, and unique. But to make you edgier, you're going to go redder, like emo firecracker siren red, and we'll actually give it a style, so you don't have to cry when you look in the mirror anymore. Or maybe you will, since you'll be emo. Not that I don't love all the little emos running around, I love people of all genders, races, orientations, and everyone in the LGBT community…LBGT? What is it, anyway? Whatever I love them. And I even love you Clary."

"Yay…?" Clary wasn't sure how to respond.

Tyra continued. "Sebastian, I've gotten word from one of my sources that you dye your hair," She waggled her finger at him.

His small smirk faltered. "Who told you that?"

"I have _sources_," Tyra waved a hand. "I don't know why you would cover up your rare white blonde hair! So we're going back to that. Maybe it will make you look just a little more innocent, which couldn't hurt."

Sebastian looked perturbed, but Tyra was moving on.

"Maia, you need to stand out, and that wishy washy brown hair is not going to help you do that! So we're going to give you more volume, and make it more chocolaty brown, with highlights."

Maia thought that didn't sound too scary.

"…Simon, I don't know what's going on with your hair right now. But it's definitely not going on, if you know what I mean. We're going to cut it shorter, and maybe spike it up a bit, so you'll look clean cut and yet just slightly cool."

"Thank you Tyra," Simon said politely.

"Raphael, I think we'll just have your trimmed a bit. I like your hair as it is because you look unpredictable and mysterious and Latin."

"Gracias," Raphael thanked her for being merciful.

"…Magnus, you seem to put a lot of thought into your hair, and while it looks nice, designers want to cast models that can be a canvas. So we're going to give you a simpler look for casting, no gel and no spikes. Just nice, natural hair."

Magnus was slightly disappointed. He'd been totally prepared for crazy colors, but he was really getting a makeunder. It was better than getting it shaved off though, he supposed.

"And just for fun we'll throw in some temporary rainbow streaks." Tyra finished, causing him to smile.

"…Aline, we have to edgify and fiercify you pronto! So we're going to cut all your hair off."

Aline's mouth dropped open, as Tyra kept on smiling. "Well, not all of it, but we're cutting it short. You have beautiful cheekbones, and a face that can handle short hair. It's a compliment to you that I made this decision."

"Okay," Aline sighed. This was going to happen no matter what, so there was no point getting worked up over it.

Tyra looked just a bit put out that Aline had accepted the inevitable so easily. Hopefully there would still be some makeover drama, the viewers waited for that, they wanted tears!

"Isabelle, you have what I call virgin hair-

"Ironic," Jace commented, causing Isabelle to stomp on his foot.

"…It's never been dyed, and you just let it grow long, and it's beautiful. But I think that it would be better…BLONDE!"

Isabelle started choking on nothing, from gasping and swallowing at the same time. When she had recovered from coughing, she looked at Tyra with an expression of horror.

"Tyra…_blonde_? I'm not so sure that's the best-

"I am sure," Tyra said.

"Well… if you say so," Isabelle said finally, but she didn't sound convinced. She sounded ill.

Tyra continued. "Now for Jace. I think your main problem is the opposite of Isabelle's..."

Tyra looked at his face, oh yes, there was going to be big drama after all. "…So we're going to dye it brown."

Jace said nothing, but the expression on his face said, 'NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!'.

"But…" Jace protested weakly. "I shine with the light of the sun!"

"This will be good for you," Tyra said. "Now, Alec, I thought a lot about your hair. And I can't help coming to the conclusion that whoever cut it is a genius, and I must hire them. So who is this person?"

Alec blinked. "Um, I just kind of cut it myself whenever I notice it getting too long."

"Well, I'll have to have you do mine sometime," Tyra said. "Naturally, you can continue cut your own."

Sebastian mimed sticking his finger down his throat in a gagging motion to Raphael, but put his hands at his sides and smiled sweetly when Tyra looked in his direction.

Tyra wasn't done with Alec however. "…So, the cut is fine. But we're going to do something we've never done before. We're going to dye your hair pink."

Alec was struck dumb.

"Have fun everyone, and remember to work it!" She flounced out.

* * *

Alec was being muscled into a salon chair by the steely Amatis, but he managed to wriggle free.

"I can't do this," he said. "I'm not picky but…pink?! Oh god, I think I can see the future, I knew this was going to happen. Except, I'm sorry, I'm not doing it."

"You have to," Amatis said simply. "There's no choice."

"There is," Alec said. "I'll accept the consequences. Thank you."

The woman found herself feeling just a bit of empathy. Alec seemed like a nice kid. And she knew that he would be kicked off if he refused the makeover.

After a few moments of arguing with herself, she leaned in to whisper in the boy's ear.

At first he just looked surprised, but then his resistance gave out. "Alright," he took a deep breath. "Do it." He sounded as if he were standing in front of a firing squad, asking them to fire.

Amatis pushed him back in the chair.

Simon was done quickly, and he was happy with the way he looked. He looked over at Clary, to see her studying herself in the mirror.

"What do you think?" she asked him, turning. Her hair was straightened, and asymmetrical, with long bangs to one side, it was a vibrant red.

"You look pretty," Simon said, and she did.

"You really do," Jace smiled, momentarily distracted from his horrible fate. He walked up to her to study her closer, and pushed a long strand behind her ear. "I like the color."

"Thanks," she smiled. "I think I do too, I guess it just takes getting used to."

Sebastian was tugging at his hair as he studied his reflection. It was white again, just a few shades lighter than his pale skin. He supposed it brought out his eyes, they looked huge and dark…but he looked like his father. He frowned. "What do you think Raphael?"

"You look pretty." Raphael said flatly, as he nibbled on the chips he'd managed to shake from the vending machine outside.

"Oh, fuck you," Sebastian said. But he looked at his reflection again. "-Really though?"

Maia was staring at herself. She hadn't really tried to do anything with her hair for a long time. Her ex boyfriend hadn't liked her to try to look nice, he'd accuse her of trying to show off for other guys. It felt strange to see herself now, a new Maia.

Aline sat down in the chair next to her. "So do you love it? She grinned. "Because you look amazing."

"Thanks," Maia smiled back. "So do you. Wow."

Aline's hair was cut short, but it was cute, with long piecy bangs and feathery layers. The style really did bring out her eyes and her cheekbones.

"Thank you," Aline struck a pose. "I actually do like it. I'm surprised. I'll have to get cute earrings now, since they'll actually show."

"I should get some too," Maia decided. "We could go together, if they ever let us out."

"That would be fun," the other girl agreed.

Isabelle was trying to accept the blonde girl in the mirror, but she couldn't. The girl just looked so damn blonde.

"I look like Barbie." She said flatly. "What am I supposed to wear now, with this glaring blondeness? None of my clothes will look good anymore." She hated herself for being on the verge of tears, but she was. "I miss my black hair. I look like a dumb bimbo."

Alec sat next to her. "Just think, it could have been pink."

She looked at her brother, and started snorting helplessly with laughter. "Alec…you…look like…I don't even know!" She was laughing hysterically, and somewhere in the middle of it she burst into tears.

Alec bit his lip. "Don't cry, Izzy. It's just hair."

"Just hair?" she smacked his chest. "You're a boy. You don't get it. You don't get anything! Nobody gets me!" She put her head in her hands and sobbed. Alec patted her back, as he awkwardly tried to help her through this moment of teen angst.

Magnus was amazed as he took in that scene. Alec had pink hair, and he was comforting Isabelle.

"You're taking this well," Magnus said tentatively as he sat on Alec's other side. "I'll admit I'm a little surprised. Not that I think you look bad," he added quickly.

"Thank you for lying." Alec said simply, as he tried to be stoic.

"No, I really don't think you look bad darling."

"Darling?" Isabelle stopped crying for a moment, and peeked up through her hair.

"You look fine too…darling." Magnus told her.

She went back to crying.

But Jace's reaction topped even hers. "ALEC!" he hollered. "My hair is BROWN! And it's not a manly 'be gone wench, and fetch me something brown,' brown! It's a horrible, strength sapping brown!"

"Wow," Alec looked at him. It was pretty weird to see a brunette Jace. "It's not that bad, it's just…different."

"I think my powers are gone," Jace said, freaking out. "I bet I can't even touch the rim on the basketball hoop anymore! I don't even think I can walk out of here, you have to carry me." He collapsed to the ground.

Alec rubbed his temples.

"I could haul him out," Clary suggested, as she observed the prone Jace.

"No you couldn't," Sebastian put his two cents in. "Look at him, that's dead weight right there."

"Can we please go now?" Simon asked. "The atmosphere in here is so far from Zen."

"Fine with me," Raphael agreed.

Sebastian, Maia, and Aline followed Raphael and Simon back to the limo.

"Come on Jace," Clary said. "I think you look great."

"I'm sorry Clary," Jace said weakly. "Like Sampson before Delilah, my hair was the source of my boundless energy. Now I have no strength." His eyes were closed.

"You dumbass," Isabelle sniffled.

"I guess I really do have to carry him," Alec said tiredly.

"Oh please," Magnus snorted. "He can walk."

"If only I were surrounded by _friends_," Jace said, his eyes still closed.

"I say, we leave him here." Magnus suggested. "And then call Aldertree, to tell him to come to this address."

Jace twitched, but not even that threat roused the now brunette boy. So Clary and Alec hauled him up and got him into the car. They were all about to leave, when a blue convertible pulled up next to the limo.

The top was down, and so the contestants could clearly see that Seelia was the driver. She was wearing a silver and black patterned dress, and a pair of designer sunglasses.

She motioned for them to roll down the window, so Simon pressed the button.

"Hello," he said to her.

"Good afternoon," she said back. "I'm here to bring Sebastian to his doctor appointment."

Sebastian climbed over the others to get out.

"Bonjour mademoiselle," he smirked. "I appreciate your generosity."

She pushed her sunglasses up on her head to look at him. "I like the hair," she said. "Get in."

He hopped into the front seat. "Merci," he said, "I like this car,"

"You're done talking," Seelia informed him. "…Until I say." She put pedal to the metal, and the little blue vehicle was soon disappearing into the distance as the contestants watched in astonishment.

"It's funny, isn't it?" Simon commented. "He seems so healthy, but I guess you never can tell."

"I can't believe you all allowed him to crawl all over me in the weakened state I'm in," Jace complained.

"How is it that your mouth is working as well as ever?" Magnus enquired.

"It's a medical miracle," Jace snapped.

Simon was lost in thought. After a few minutes he spoke up. "You know, you can think of all our hair colors as ice cream flavors. Like Alec is strawberry, Isabelle is butter pecan, Maia is peanut butter swirl, Clary is cherry- hey that rhymes, Magnus is rainbow sherbet, Raphael is black licorice, Jace is chocolate, Aline is black raspberry, and I'm coffee heath bar crunch."

There was silence, until Jace ventured a comment. "That was one of the most idiotic things I've ever heard, and we're all a bit dumber for listening to it. I can't believe no one interrupted you."

"Well _you're_ a lot of fun," Simon sniffed.

"What about Sebastian?" Raphael asked, enjoying the topic of food.

"Vanilla," Simon said easily.

Raphael smiled just slightly. "Ha."

* * *

**Okay, for anyone who is freaking out right now, yes there is a catch. All I can say is, don't worry about it.**

**Don't worry 'bout a thing. ;)**

**And I want to thank you thank you thank you all for reviewing, but I will thank you all next chapter individually, because I have to sleeeeep noooow.**


	10. We're going to diiiiiie

**Hi everyone! Thank you for the reviews, even if you were shocked and horrified, haha! I hope you like this chapter. I love you all.**

**And do I look like Tyra Banks? You don't know? Well I can tell you I don't, so I don't own ANTM. I don't look like Cassandra Clare either, so I don't own Mortal Instruments.**

**However, I do own the **_**actual**_** mortal cup, lake Idris and the mortal sword. Raziel and I are bffs; he gave me a pony for my birthday.**

**Yeah. Be jealous.**

* * *

"I just don't understand," Jace was still rambling on. "The dye should have just bounced right off my hair or something. My golden-ness should have been much more powerful."

"You're really getting annoying," Clary rubbed her temples. Jace had been talking for the past twenty minutes straight, and it wasn't like he was blonde any more, in which case she would have excused his whining.

"I really am glad you are so willing to support me in my time of need Clary," Jace was miffed. "I'll file that away."

"You're perfectly capable of supporting yourself," Clary said sharply. "If you'd stop acting like brunetteism is a crippling disease."

"You tell him Clary," Isabelle sniffled. "Because I just don't have the heart."

The limo pulled into the parking lot of the gym.

"Do we really have to do this now?" Maia complained. "We just got all done up."

"A model's work is never done," Simon said solemnly. "We must persevere."

"Come _on_ Jace," Alec said, when everyone started getting out. "You've got to walk. I can't carry you around everywhere."

"I'm hurt Alec," Jace said in a wounded voice. "I'm really hurt. I think of all that I've done for you, and you won't even carry me around everywhere? That's like a stab through the heart from a blade in the back that also happens to pierce the heart which may or may not kill the person, depending on whether or not the body is found."

"What?" Alec ran a hand through his hair, momentarily forgetting it was pink.

"Just leave him in the limo," Magnus said. "He'll be safe. From hair dye, crazy trainers, and even zombies, if there were to suddenly be an apocalypse of the undead variety."

"To kill a zombie, you have to destroy the brain." Jace said automatically. "Not stab it in the heart like Alec is doing to me."

"Ok, fine." Alec snapped. "I'll carry you." The guilt was too overwhelming.

Soon everyone was standing in the training room. Except for Jace, who was laid out on a mat.

Bat sauntered in. "Well don't you ladies look _niiiiice_. And look at the sissy boys, all gussied up." His gaze went back and forth from Magnus to Alec. "Pink hair? Rainbows? What, are you two _boy_friends?" He laughed.

"Is that what you fantasize about at night?" Magnus deadpanned, while Alec opened his mouth and then shut it again.

Bat was unable to think of a suitable comeback, so he settled for a threat. "You'll regret that one Rainbow Bright," he pointed menacingly. "I'll have you begging for mercy as you kneel before me."

"Save it for when you touch yourself hon," Magnus checked his nails, completely unconcerned.

Bat realized he should probably quit this bantering…while he was ahead and all. "Today you'll all be working out with me. If there's a hell, you might want to…" he tried to remember the line. "…you might want to…this is going to be hell! So prepare for the pain!"

Simon turned to whisper to Aline. "Am I the only one that appreciates these inspirational speeches? They're _so_ motivating."

It was at this point that Bat noticed Jace's immobility. "Get up Blondie-er…Brownie!" he commanded. "I said to stand at attention!"

"Go jump in a poisoned lake," Jace said, staring up at the ceiling.

Bat was looking decidedly murderous, so Clary interjected hastily. "What Jace means, is that the boys think you're being really hard on them. They'd like a day to run their own workout."

Bat scoffed at that idea. "And they have to get a pretty girl to speak for them, they're just that pathetic. I could probably take on all of them at once. But here's the deal: if one of them is brave enough to challenge me in hand to hand combat, and can take me down, you can run your own workouts for the rest of the _week_."

This information was absorbed with interest. "But Jace is useless, and Sebastian isn't here," Simon pointed out fretfully. "He was our best hope!"

"Where is the little slacker?" Bat demanded, just realizing Sebastian was gone.

"He's at a doctor's appointment," Simon supplied helpfully.

Bat grunted. "Maybe they'll cure him of his sissy. Although I maintain that the only cure for that is pain. Lots of pain."

"In that case, he may well be on his way to recovery right at this moment," Magnus hypothesized.

Raphael looked bored. "I'll fight this _babosa_." He stepped forward. "Let's get on with it."

"Ha!" Bat snorted with laughter. "Look at this twelve year old that thinks he can fight me! This will be like David versus the mighty Goliath!"

"…apparently he's forgotten how that one turned out," Jace commented from the floor.

Raphael and Bat faced each other on the large blue mat. As the much smaller boy waited for Bat to make the first move, he taunted him a bit.

"Tu eres más feo que el culo de un _mono_." He raised an eyebrow, waiting.

Maia whispered, translating for the group. "You are uglier than the butt of a monkey,"

"I don't speak polish," Bat complained, glaring at Raphael. "But how do you say, 'I'm about to bring the pain?'"

"You say, 'tengo ganas' Raphael informed him.

"That means, 'I'm horny," Maia quietly informed the others.

"TENGO GAAAANAAAAAS!" Bat bellowed before launching himself at Raphael.

Raphael dodged easily, leaving Bat spinning in confusion. The boy had moved so fast!

"You slippery slip of a sissy!" Bat shouted. "Fight me!" He threw a powerful punch that Raphael stopped with his hand. The muscled young man stared in shock as his arm was forced down.

But Bat still had a free arm. "Time to ruin your pretty face," he swung with his other hand.

But Raphael moved aside, and used the forward momentum from the punch to throw Bat to the ground, face first. Bat tried to get his arms under him to prop his body up, but Raphael kicked them out from under him, before planting a foot on the behemoth's back.

"Owned, bitch." Raphael smoothed down his shirt, looking pleased with himself. After basking in his victory for a moment, he stepped off the beaten warrior and went to sit on a stationary bike. He began flipping through a magazine on the console.

Bat slunk out with his tail between his legs, and the contestants stared at the small figure sitting on the bike.

They knew they were in the presence of a man destined for greatness.

* * *

When they had all decided they'd had enough, they went back out to their trusty limo. It was always there waiting for them. It was always pink.

Simon hopped in first. He pressed the button to talk to the driver. "Sorry we took so long Samuel, there was a bit of a celebration."

"That's alright," the voice crackled back. "I've learned patience over the years."

"Still sure you don't want to come out?" the boy frowned.

"I'm sure." The man replied.

"I hope you change your mind," Simon said. "Can you try to take a long way back? I think everyone is feeling slightly happier with each other than usual, and we should milk this.

"If you want," Samuel agreed.

Simon thanked him and leaned back in the seat. He wasn't going to talk to Samuel in front of the others. The driver seemed shy.

Soon, they were on the road. Simon looked out the window an hour later, and saw they were driving on a windy empty road through the woods in the middle of nowhere. Talk about taking the long way back.

"I think we're in Connecticut," he commented.

"Why is this taking so loooong?" Maia's shoulders slumped.

"Let's sing a song together," Simon suggested. "Music makes people happy. That's why I'm in a band. Also, because Eric said chicks like boys that are in bands."

"Let's don't and say we did," Jace responded.

"I can't sing," Clary said. "You know that Simon."

"I think singing is a good idea," Aline supported Simon. "Who cares if you can or not?"

"I know the perfect song," Maia smiled and turned on her ipod.

As the first notes filled the car, everyone stopped arguing and listened as Maia started singing in a very lovely voice.

"Just a small town girl, livin in a lonely wooorld, she took the midnight train going a-ny where,"

Simon grinned and started singing. "Just a city boy, born and raised in sooouth detroi-oit, he took the midnight train going a-ny where,"

It seemed everyone was moved by this song, and they all grooved out to the guitar solo.

"A singer in a smoky room," Magnus started in with the singer, "the smell of wine and cheap perfume," He smiled. Ah, Journey. It was great.

Alec chimed in. "For a smile they can share the night, it goes on and on and on,"

Aline and Clary joined in singing with the other four.

Strangers, waiting,

Up and down the boooulevard their sha-dows, searching in the niiiiight

streetlight, people,

livin just to find emotion,

Hiding somewhere in the NIIIIIIIGGGGHHTTT!

Raphael started in on a solo.

"Workin hard, to get my fill, Everybody wants a thri-ill, paying anything to roll the dice, just one, more time."

Aline began, "Some will win, some will lose. Some are born to sing the blu-ues. But the movie never ends it goes on and on and on and on…"

By this point everyone was singing.

Strangers, waiting

Up and down the boooulevard

Their shadows, searching in the ni-iiight

Streetlight, people

Living just to find emotion

Hiding somewhere in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!

Don't stop, believing

Hold on to that feeling,

Streetlight, peo-puuuuuu-uuuuulll

Don't stop, believing

Hold ooooon yeah yeah

Streetlight, peo-puullll.

Don't stop believing…

They continued singing until the song faded out.

"That was really special," Simon said, smiling. "I told you all that singing would make you feel-SQUIIIIRRRELLL!!" he screamed, pointing out the window.

Apparently the driver had seen the suicidal creature as well, as the limo swerved wildly.

Somehow, the limo swerved off the road. And rolled over. And began tumbling down a cliff.

There was a lot of screaming from inside the car.

"Oh my God!" Clary shrieked.

"We're going to diiiieeeee!" Simon contributed.

"I knew singing was a bad ideeeeaaaa!" Jace shouted, in a way that was oddly self satisfied for the situation he was in.

The car tumbled for what seemed to be an impossible amount of time, before stopping upside down at the base of the cliff.

Everyone tried to scramble out through a shattered window, and got away from the car.

"Is everyone out?" Magnus asked, counting heads.

"Simon is still in the car!" Clary shrieked. "We have to get him out!"

"I'm okay," Simon called from inside the vehicle. "I'm just stuck,"

"Get him out!" Clary was panicking. "Somebody get him out of there!"

Jace was back on his feet. "Calm down Clary, he says he's okay. There's no hurry. We'll just all stay calm and rational and figure out how to get him out."

That's when the limo burst into flames.

"Okay, we might want to hurry actually," Jace amended.

Clary started screaming bloody murder, shaking Jace. "Save him! Saaaaave him!"

"That thing is going to blow!" Alec said sharply, running forward. Everyone else rushed forward too, unsure of what to do.

The metal was twisted on one side of the car, making the opening too small for anyone to climb in or out.

Alec and Isabelle were trying to kick the metal back to clear the opening.

"It's impossible!" Isabelle said. "It's not budging!"

"Watch out," Jace said, before grabbing the metal and bending it with his bare hands.

"I'll crawl in, I'm small enough," Raphael said. He disappeared into the vehicle.

The wait seemed interminable, but only moments later, Raphael dragged a disheveled Simon through the window, and began dragging him away from the burning car.

"Samuel!" Simon was shouting. "Samuel's still in there!"

"Who the hell is Samuel?!" Jace demanded.

"The DRIVER!" Simon shouted.

Alec and Jace quickly went to the front of the car.

"We're going to pull you out," Alec shouted to the man. "Relax!"

"No!" the driver shouted back. "Just let me die!"

"No can do," Jace said, as he and Alec pulled the man from the vehicle despite his continued protests.

When everyone had moved away from the limo, they heard the explosion.

The Tyra limo was no more.

* * *

"What just HAPPENED?" Aline said, echoing everyone's disbelief.

Magnus was trying to take stock of the situation, to see who was injured. Everyone was standing at the moment, which was absolutely astounding when he took into account the height of the cliff the car had tumbled down.

"How are we not hurt?" Clary wondered, as she stared up at the cliff.

"How are we not _dead_?" Isabelle corrected.

"That Tyra limo must have been practically a tank," Simon said. "It was like the bat mobile. Did you see how well it held together, aside from, you know, exploding?"

"Good old Tyra," Jace said. "She's looking out for us."

There was a silence, as everyone appreciated being alive. Even Hodge secretly appreciated it.

"Who's this guy?" Raphael looked at Hodge out of the corner of his eye, looking suspicious.

"This is Samuel!" Simon cheerfully introduced him. "Isn't it amazing? He's been driving us everywhere, and we're just now meeting him. I think he deserves some appreciation."

"Thank you," Clary said.

"Yes thanks," Aline said.

"Thank you for driving the limo over a cliff and almost killing all of us," Raphael chimed in.

Jace was staring at 'Samuel'. "You look very familiar," he said finally. "I feel like I've seen you before."

Hodge stared nervously back at him…did the kid really remember…?

"But I've been saying that about everyone here," Jace said dismissively. "Weirdest thing, I swear."

Hodge relaxed again.

"So what now?" Alec said. "We can't scale that cliff, and we don't have cell phones. We might be stuck here for the night."

"What if the squirrels come back?" Simon looked around anxiously. "They failed to claim our lives by running us off the road, and they'll want to finish what they started!"

Magnus waved his fingers in front of Simon's face. "Try to follow my fingers with your eyes," he commanded. "I think you might have hit your head."

"Imagine if Tyra popped out of the bushes right now," Maia started, "And said this was a set up for a photo shoot."

"If she said that," Alec brushed off his jeans. "I would kill her."

"Now Alec," Isabelle chastised. "You really have to stop threatening to kill people when you get upset. You would have been much more popular in high school if you could have just mastered that."

"Alec was popular," Jace protested. "-he was friends with me. And you know what I think? I think that _Sebastian_ planned this accident." He looked around at the others for their reactions. "He is very conspicuously _not here_, and he'd probably love to kill all of us off so he could win the competition."

"He probably befriended the squirrels!" Simon tugged at his hair. "We're doomed!"

"Alright," Magnus grabbed his wrist and felt for his pulse. "Do you know your name and where we are right now?"

"I'm Simon Lewis and we're in Connecticut!" Simon batted Magnus' hand away. "And if this is anyone's fault…aside from squirrels…it's mine. I told Samuel to go the long way home."

"This isn't 'the long way home'," Jace put in. "This is 'way in the hell of the middle of nowhere', and what were you thinking, making decisions for the group?"

"I just want us to get along!" Simon waved his arms. "I'm tired of all this anger and nonsense! If I can tolerate the man who stole the love of my life, than you can all stop your constant bickering!"

"You're as guilty as the rest of us," Jace accused.

"The love of your life?" Clary asked in confusion. "What are you talking about Simon?"

Simon took a deep breath. "Okay, I almost died today so I feel like it's a sign that I should tell you. Clary, I have loved you for years, and I'm trying to get over it but it is difficult."

"Oh Simon," Clary hugged him. "I love you, but like a brother."

Simon couldn't help himself. "What about that time we slept in the same bed and fooled around Clary? Would you do that with your 'brother'?"

"Of course not," Clary sniffed. "Incest is gross."

"Yeah seriously," Jace agreed. "And I get what Clary is saying. It's like with me and Isabelle. I think of her as my sister."

"What about that time we got drunk on my parents liquor and fooled around?" Isabelle reminded him. "Would you do that with your sister?"

"I was…drunk," Jace said lamely. He met Alec's gaze sheepishly, because the other boy looked majorly pissed.

"I think you both have a strange grasp of what a sibling relationship usually involves," Aline pointed out.

"Let's not judge," Magnus scolded.

Alec wasn't going to let it go. "Are you saying," he addressed Jace. "…That you got my sister drunk ON MY PARENT'S LIQUOR, and took advantage of her?!"

Jace backed away slowly. "Your parents are never there, they want for us to drink it Alec. They're cool like that!" he glared at Isabelle. "What the hell Izzy, you said you'd never tell him about that time!"

"I almost died today," she said easily, tossing her hair. "I think it was a sign I should get it off my chest."

"I'm going to kill you," Alec said, advancing on Jace.

Jace started running, and soon the chase was on. Izzy sat down to watch. "There," she said. "That will entertain us for awhile at least."

Magnus watched the spectacle. "Is Alec going to catch him?"

"Jace is fast," Isabelle said. "But he'll tire sooner, and then he'll be caught. It's only a matter of time."

Magnus looked at her with a new appreciation. "You are a sadistic woman."

"Proud of it babe," she smiled.

"She was the one who took advantage of me!" Jace was shouting as he ran. "She stole my innocence! Go scold her Alec!"

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WATCH HER WHEN I'M NOT AROUND, NOT MOLEST HER!" Alec was truly enraged this time, and catching up quick.

"I was so much drunker than she was!" Jace said. "She can hold her liquor! She was still cooking, for god's sake!"

The chase went on for a good ten minutes, and everyone was watching, for lack of anything better to do.

"They're really moving," Raphael commented. "I bet they've covered more than two miles distance just going in circles there."

"Jonathon always was a fast runner," Hodge reminisced. "He used to evade me for hours whenever it was time to bathe him." He realized he'd spoken aloud when everyone in the audience turned to look at him.

"I was joking," he said hastily.

Hodge was saved from interrogation when the sound of a helicopter was heard from above.

"We're saved!" Simon jumped to his feet.

The helicopter landed.

Seelia was piloting it. She stepped out, and Sebastian hopped out from the passenger's seat.

"Look what these idiots get into without me," he shook his head.

"Hello everyone," Seelia looked around. "Are any of you hurt?"

"Not really," Magnus informed her. "Just banged up a bit."

"...Probably feeling better than I am right now," Sebastian grumbled.

Seelia took in the sight of the raggedy group. "Tyra has the national guard out looking for all of you. When I found out the car had gone missing I said, 'Sebastian; how would you like to ride in a private helicopter?' and he was very enthusiastic about it. What was it you said Sebastian? It was something quite charming." she turned to him.

He looked like he was trying to remember. "I think it was, 'please don't hurt me anymore, I'll do whatever you want'?"

"Ah yes," she snapped her fingers. "That was it. Anyway, I spotted you all by the pink hair running around. That's visible from 5000 feet."

"Wonderful." Alec was still catching his breath from the run around.

A second helicopter was landing. Ragnor hopped out of it. "Thank goodness you're all okay," he put his hand over his heart. "I can't _believe_ something like this happened. But at least we get to play rescue, right Seelia?"

"Indeed we do," she agreed. "Come on models, pile in."

* * *

Jace sat next to Alec in the helicopter. "I'm sorry you're mad. It was just kissing, really. And it was weird, even being drunk."

"Just kissing?" Alec glared.

"Yes, really."

"Well…okay." Alec said finally. "I don't like it, but okay."

"Truce?"

"Truce."

"You know," Jace looked out the window. "I was pretty awesome, saving Simon and Samuel back there."

"If I recall, you had some help with that." Alec hid a smile.

"I think it was all me," Jace said. "I am the man."

"You are crazy, that's what you are."

"…the best part is, I did it without my golden blonde locks. I learned today Alec, that my powers come from my heart, rather than my hair."

"Of course, you moron. That was always obvious."

Isabelle joined the conversation. "I realized that my hair isn't what makes me myself either. I can still be loveable with blonde hair, and I can still be a bitch."

"You sure can," Jace agreed.

"Plus," Izzy continued. "When we were tumbling down that cliff, I wasn't thinking about hair. I was thinking about you two, and mom and dad and Max. I'm lucky to have the family that I do, and it's a waste of my time and good looks to cry over a bad dye job."

"It really is," Jace agreed with her, for the first time in who knows when. "What have you learned from your pink hair Alec?" he asked curiously.

"Hmm," Alec thought a moment. "That you can see it from 5000 feet up." That was all he felt like sharing, anyway.

The helicopters were very fast, and soon they were landing at the model mansion.

The weary models trudged upstairs to shower off the sweat and grime from both the workout and the awful ordeal in the semi-wilderness.

Alec sighed in the shower, letting his tense muscles relax. He watched the pink dye run down the drain, not at all sad to see it go. He'd known that it was washout because Amatis had clued him in.

He would never have let them dye his hair pink otherwise. Apparently Tyra had wanted him to learn something from this. He had a basic idea of what.

As he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist, he heard a happy shriek from down the hall.

"GOODBYE BLONDE!" Izzy's voice rang out. Alec smiled, she must have been back to normal. Now there was just-

"I'M BEAUTIFUL AGAIN!!!" Jace's thrilled exclamations were even louder than Isabelle's…wait…were they getting closer-?

"ALEC!!!" Jace burst into the bathroom. "I'm the golden boy once more!"

Alec would have been concerned about his own lack of clothing, but he was too distracted by Jace's similar lack.

"Oh my god," Alec shut his eyes. "Jace, you're naked."

"I know," Jace said. "I'm in my purest form, no hair dye, no clothes, no kangaroos. I'm just me!"

"You've lost your fucking mind," Alec hissed through his teeth, still keeping his eyes closed. "You could have put on a towel at least."

Jace grabbed a towel and put it on, not that Alec could see this.

Then Jace actually had the nerve to tackle Alec.

"What the fuck are you doing!" the dark haired boy yelped. "Get off me!" He would have thrown Jace off him, but he didn't want to touch him in his current state.

"I just want to share my naked joy with my best friend," Jace said. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Go share your naked joy with Clary you ass!"

"You start swearing when you're mad," Jace commented. "But you're not threatening to kill me yet. Are you still really mad?"

"I am…unnerved. At the moment. Just get off me."

"Don't be mad Alec," Jace said. "We haven't been hanging out as much, and I hate when you're mad."

Alec couldn't see the puppy eyed pout Jace was putting on, but he could hear it in his voice. "I am not mad. Just get the fu-just get off."

Finally he did, and Alec breathed an audible sigh of relief.

Jace rolled his eyes. "I have a towel on you know."

Alec hesitantly opened his eyes. "Did you really just run down the hall stark naked? Did Magnus see you run in here?"

"I really did," Jace nodded. "It was very liberating. And no, he missed out, as he is in the kitchen."

"I think that hair dye damaged your brain," Alec said. "I'm legitimately concerned. I think you could sue."

"You're so uptight," Jace told him. "We signed a disclaimer anyway, remember?"

Alec blinked to clear his head, "Okay, I'm very happy for you being blonde again. Now why don't you go put some clothes on, because I need to get dressed."

"Yes you do," Jace nodded. "Because Tyra's here. I think she saw me run down the hall. What an experience."

"...And please do not come back here in your 'purest form' ever again." Alec finished.

"If you say so," Jace said, "See you in a few!" he cheerfully and mercifully left.

* * *

Everyone gathered to greet Tyra.

"Hello there models!" she smiled at them. "I heard that you all faced death today! I think that that's beautiful. That's what modeling is really about."

There wasn't one person in the room that didn't suspect she'd set the whole thing up.

Tyra continued. "And I can see that the three of you have figured out the fake makeovers!"

"Yes," Jace said. "The carpet once again matches the drapes."

"Ugh, did you really just make me think about that?" Raphael's face twisted in disgust.

Tyra was still talking. "…Honestly, I thought that you three were fine the way you were. But I decided to teach you a lesson, because Mama Tyra is here for you. So tell everyone what lessons you learned." She beamed at them.

"I learned that I'm awesome no matter what my hair looks like," Jace said. "I'm just made of win."

Tyra nodded solemnly. "I'm glad you found yourself Jace. What about you Isabelle?"

"I learned that I have been too shallow, and that blondes are people too."

"Indeed they are," Tyra nodded. "I had a crazy blonde weave one time, and I was still human when I had it. And you Alec?"

"I learned its okay to stand out sometimes. Especially if a helicopter is searching for you."

"That's so true," Tyra agreed. "Mama Tyra is so proud of all of you! So as a reward, I'm going to tell you what you're going to have to do for the next photo shoot. No more secrets."

They waited.

"You're going to be making out with each other," Tyra smiled. "I picked names out of a hat to pair you up. It was fun. I'm not going to tell you who is with who yet. That's still a surprise."

"Wow," Maia commented. "That sounds horrifying."

"Open your heart Maia," Tyra told her. "It'll get easier with time. Alright then, goodbye models! See you bright and early tomorrow!" She waved and flounced out the door.

* * *

"Raphael stop jumping and settle the fuck down," Sebastian commanded.

"Bite me," Raphael said back.

Simon was getting ready for bed, which meant he was putting on his old t-shirt with a pointing storm trooper on it. It said, 'Your Empire needs you.' Sometimes Clary was the best.

He wished he could room with her instead of the weirdos he was stuck with. But that would be unacceptable to the public or whatever.

"I told you to stop jumping," Sebastian's voice was suddenly low and dangerous. "I am having an internal monologue, and you're distracting me."

"Why don't you come up here and make me?" Raphael challenged.

"Hey, no violence," Simon protested.

Raphael's head appeared, looking at him. "Don't tell me what to do," the boy said. "I saved your life."

"Raphael I need to speak with you in private," Sebastian said. "Despite your distraction, I think I am ready to discuss my thoughts. We need to go into the bathroom to conspire."

"You guys too?" Simon said. "I think this is a double standard here. I can't even room with Clary, and you can go do whatever you want behind a closed door. How is that fair? I want to know how it's fair. In fact maybe I'll just say I'm not okay with that occurring in this room that is just as much MINE as it is yours. This is my room too. This bunk is mine, and this blanket is mine, and that's my toothbrush in the bathroom there, and I don't want anything going on near MY toothbrush!" He glared.

Raphael had climbed down to stand next to Sebastian, and his eyes had narrowed. "What exactly are you implying?"

But Sebastian had heard something useful in that speech. "What do you mean, 'you guys too?'"

Simon immediately realized his mistake. "Nothing. Never mind, do what you want. Just-keep my toothbrush far away from it."

Sebastian looked thoughtful. "You were the one that went to fetch Alec and Magnus weren't you?"

"Well… yes." Simon admitted. What a crazy good memory Sebastian had,

"And what were they doing?" Sebastian looked like a cat that had just caught a mouse.

"They were, I don't know, hanging out. They weren't doing anything. Not anything at all."

"And they were in the bathroom with the door closed while they weren't doing anything, right?"

"I can't remember," Simon said. "I have to uh, paint my glasses." He hastily left the room.

"…that's what I thought." Sebastian smiled. "Come on Raphael. The walls have ears."

They walked into the bathroom and shut the door.

"This had better be good," Raphael said, grumpily. "I really ought to be watching him."

"Forget that. I think we need to discuss everyone's standing in this competition. There's already been one photo shoot, and we have to stay on top of things." Sebastian began pacing, his hands clasped behind his back. "I have several observations, and I'll need your input."

Raphael waited.

"Firstly," he began. "The premiere episode aired, and the favorites are already clear. I went online and the message boards are buzzing."

"How did _you_ get online?" Raphael asked. There was no internet access in the model mansion, to prevent them from posting information that could spoil an episode before it aired.

Sebastian looked pleased with himself. "Seelia is insane. And she's pure evil. But she also has internet. When she fell asleep I performed a Houdini and got to her computer." He snapped his fingers. "-Piece of cake."

Raphael was unphased. "So what are people saying?"

"The Lightwood boy and that Bane kid are extremely popular. The fans are even referring to them as…" he paused dramatically. "…Malec."

"Dios mio," Raphael gasped. "You've got to be kidding me."

"I wish I was," Sebastian said grimly. "But it's true. Those two are so saccharine, it kills me. And thanks to our wonderful roommate, I now know they're really an item, so the situation will only get worse. This show is airing on Bravo. I'm sure you can comprehend that their fan base is considerable. 'Bronnie' anyone?"

"But Tyra doesn't really care who the audience likes," Raphael pointed out. "She picks who she wants."

"Fair point," Sebastian agreed. "But she seemed to like them. All the judges seemed to like them. They're the fricken golden boys. It's sickening."

"And what about the daylighter?" Raphael asked.

"The fans like him too. And the judges were absolutely gushing over him- well you were there."

"I can handle that one," Raphael said, sounding unconcerned. "I'm guessing that Isabelle has fans."

"She's beautiful," Sebastian said. "But, she's fighting a major obstacle. Tyra opened this show up to petites and boys this season, and she'll want to prove it works by having someone in those categories win. Isabelle picked the wrong season for this show, I think. But still, she's as good as they come."

"So the most pressing issue," Raphael recapped. "Is Malec."

"By far," Sebastian agreed. "But when you think about it, what do they have that we don't?"

Raphael considered. "A taller combined average height." He said finally.

"Besides that," Sebastian prodded. "Think harder."

Raphael thought another moment. Then he thought of the obvious. "Los novios?"

"Exactly!" Sebastian's eyes were crazy scary. "They have each other! But there's one more advantage you didn't think of. They also have more easily combinable names. I mean Raphastian? Sebastael? That's like something Bella Swann would name her child! Those would never catch on, firstly because they are equally bad, and the fan base would be divided on which was better. Clearly 'Malec' sounds better than 'Algnus', but with our names, it's a toss up. Why do you have to have such a weird name anyway Raphael, it's not even courteous."

"Whoa, stop," Raphael interrupted. "Primero, Sebastian isn't even your name. Second, it's weird regardless. And three, I am not being your boyfriend. Raphael likes the chicas. El fin."

Sebastian was trying to be patient. "I don't want to be your boyfriend either Raphael. Do you think I came on this show about hot people so I could commit to _you_? But it would benefit us both. Sebastael-my personal preference- would be unstoppable. We just have to pretend in front of the cameras. You would just follow my lead."

"I'm a Taurus; I don't follow anyone's lead. And it would be Raphastian, because of what the order of combination implies, IF I ever agreed which I won't."

"The order implies nothing, twit."

"I think it _does_. I think you know it does, you and your 'preferences.' "

"It _doesn't_."

"Does." Raphael said, with finality. "And besides, I have a better idea than that."

"What?" Sebastian demanded tersely. He was pretty pissed that Raphael had just shot down the plan like that. Raphael hadn't been the one to dig out the Malec information by typing with handcuffs on.

"Just break them up. That would mess with their emotions, and make them more likely to fail. Aren't you supposed to be good at that sort of thing?" he challenged.

Sebastian glared silently for a moment. "I am very good at 'that sort of thing' Raphael. Not that you'll ever know personally."

"So there you go. My plan was much more devious and evil than yours."

"Yadda yadda blah blah blah," Sebastian rolled his eyes. Silently, he had to admit it was more devious though.

Back to the drawing board.

* * *

**Haha, wow you guys. Did you REALLY think I was going to leave them like that? You really thought I would leave Alec's hair pink? Ye of little faith. Haha. I'm sorry if you're still upset about the way somebody looks, I think only Aline really changed drastically though.**

**Also…about the picking names out of hats to see who was going to make out with who? I actually did that, and I swore to myself beforehand I would stick to it. Some of the matchups are totally weird. XD**

**Anyway, it's time to thank all you lovely people! :)**

**LostInThought15: Yay, they're back to normal, haha. I hope you're not terrified anymore!**

**Championshoes: I luurve your username! And thank you for the review, pink hair is no more. =)**

**Burningximpossiblyxbright: Haha, Simon is redonkulous sometimes! That's why I love him though. And yeah…Sebastian and Seelia. Good on her, I say. XD thx for the review!**

**AVdK: Thank you for reading and reviewing, I'm so glad that you like it. =)**

**Whiteandnerdy01: That's kind of what I was going for; in character but exaggerated. I'm glad you see them that way. I hope you continue to like it!**

**Magical-archer: It's all good, haha. Thank you for the review! And I will update beautiful boy, but frankly it makes me a little sad to write it and I'm going through some tough stuff right now. So I'm writing this because it cheers me up. I plan on updating soon though, I definitely will finish it. :)**

**Somecrazyshit: hey hon, sorry that Clary's hair is still like that. I didn't think it was bad, but I'm sorry that you do. And you're awesome for screeching in the library, haha. Thank you for the review!**

**Azalee Charlin: hey, valentine must be bored out of his mind with no mortal instruments to gather! He has nothing to do but harass his (sort of)children! XD And I was particularly fond of Jace with brown hair, but I cut him a break. =D**

**LA-EL-LAS: BOOYAH back! Yes, Jace is a wonderful hilarious fellow. I'd like to talk with him in real life. :D**

**Katara-alchemist: You're welcome, and thank you! Your DA page is awesome, I loved the Fang drawing. He is HOTT. ;D**

**Miss-Alec-Magnus Bane: wow, so are you married to both Alec and magnus with that user name? That would be the life. ;) Sorry you didn't enjoy the makeovers, I hope you liked this chapter. **

**MagnusSpark: You are so persistent! Alec truly has a loyal fan in you. :D I'm glad I can make you laugh. I bet you're cute when you laugh. ;) haha. Thanks for the nice review! Also…in regards to your last review, that cracked me up! You are Aldertree? In that case I'd be very glad to meet you, as I am not a boy and would be safe! Alec should be a little scared though, haha.**

**Pawfoot: that is a crazy coincidence! I'm glad you liked those parts, that was fun and controversial. **

**Kara_leafgiggle_smileyface: Thank you so much for the review! I don't know if kara is your name, but it's one of my favorite names. I hope you liked the update. :)**

**Marauderette lily: Congrats! You read like ninety pages worth of fanfiction in a day! XD Thank you for your nice review. I hope you continue to enjoy. :)**

**Staceyallison: yep, you're safe from Aldertree. ;) And he is indeed a frightening man, but so silly too! Thx for the review. :)**

**Lyra V Ellison: Oh my god! Your review is an epic essay! I must comment on it!**

**Yeah, seriously, why is he the only humanoid demon…but more importantly…it's very conspicuous that the only humanoid demon is the one that gets tied up and harassed with a whip. Seriouuusly Cassandra Clare. Just count the amount of times a boy is in bondage or in prison in those books. Then count the amount of times a girl is in the same situation.**

…**yeah. All I can say is, I think Cassandra Clare would approve of Seelia! (and so do I, hee hee,)**

**I know what you mean about Jace. I love him, but he is just so full of it sometimes. XD**

**Divine justice indeed! Thank you so much for that review, it made me smile many times! **

**Inthefire: Your favorite fanfiction EVER? That makes me really really happy! I'm glad you like the references to the books. I don't have them on hand, but I try! Thx for the review. :)**

**b33zir34dz: Your username is so complicated! Oh Clary, gotta love her…wait do I? Haha. I'm glad you like the story!**

**Lunareclipse3: wow! Thank you for leaving all those reviews! You are too awesome. :D**

**VampHime: I love Magnus and Jace too! I'm glad you liked the phone calls, they were fun to write. :)**

**Browniehaze: Yes, Simon has a way with metaphors, haha. And Aldertree has a way of being really creepy. XD**

**Hi: Haha, I would never let his hair be turned pink permanently. I just found it amusing, sorry if it stressed you out.**

**Magickless Sorceress: cool username! And thank you for the nice review! I like hearing what people enjoyed. :) I'm so glad you laughed. And yeah, Valentine had to call all three of them, he has to cover his options. XD**

**Ellenfp: haha, I'm glad you liked the ice cream comment. I kind of thought that would be controversial, but Simon's just weird like that. :D**

**Coolnesskate: well I hope you're not extremely upset that his hair is no longer pink! And I love Iggy! Yay for awesome blind flying bird boys. :)**

**Nezrin: I'm glad you like Malec, I love them too. I do not know about Sebastian and Raphael honestly. They're so unpredictable that I can't tell what they're thinking. :)**

**Angryfish: hello there! Congrats on getting an account! I'm glad you think I've gotten their personalities, though I'm obviously fooling around with them I want the characters to still be in there. :)**

**Perdyprincess: haha…Sebastian was not going to a doctor's appt! XD I am very flattered by your compliment. Thank you so much for your feedback.**

**Zoe Lightwood: Jace agrees with you! It should have been physically impossible! =)**

**J storm: I hope you're happier now that three of them are back to normal, haha. And thx for the review!**


	11. Calm down Bella

**Hey you guys! Do I say that every time? Anyway, so this is the chapter with the kissing couples chosen out of my neon orange hat. This chapter was…challenging. I'm sorry it took this long!**

**All I can say about it is…some may be disturbed. XD**

**I don't own MI or ANTM.**

**Also you guys…more than thirty reviews for one chapter??!! I almost cried from happiness! Thank you so much. :)**

**NOTE: katara alchemist did a really awesome drawing of snow leopard/Alec, I put the link in my profile. Check it out y'all!!**

* * *

Clary ran a brush through her hair, wondering how it would look in the morning after sleeping on it. The new style had weathered a limo explosion however, so she took that as a promising sign.

Isabelle was lying on the bed with her eyes closed, clad in a tank top and shorts for bed. She had headphones on and was listening to music.

"Isabelle?" Clary tried.

"What?" the other girl responded without opening her eyes.

"How do you feel about the fact that we're going to have to kiss one of these people here tomorrow?" Clary was a little concerned about it. Kissing Jace on national television was one thing, but kissing someone else on national television was quite another thing entirely.

"I don't really care," Isabelle answered, as she lifted a foot and rubbed it against her calf. Clary noticed she had a nice pedicure. Isabelle always thought of all these little beauty enhancers that never even occurred to Clary. She was constantly reminded that she'd have to step it up to stay here longer than the tall dark haired girl.

Clary wasn't ready to give it up. "Do you think it's truly random though? I mean, what if you had to kiss a girl?"

"Well, try anything once I suppose," Isabelle turned the volume of her music up, but she was just about giving up on getting any peace.

Something occurred to the small redhead. "What if you had to kiss your brother though, would you do it?"

Isabelle opened her eyes and seemed to consider it. "Yeah," she said after a few moments. "My brother's hot."

Clary looked absolutely scandalized.

Isabelle burst out laughing. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! You should have seen your face. That was priceless."

"Oh," Clary said uncertainly.

"Besides," Isabelle continued. "Alec is such a prude; that I doubt he even knows what kissing is. He probably thinks it's some sort of ancient voodoo ritual for…dolphins or something."

Jace sauntered into the room. "Did I hear something about dolphins?"

"And what if you did?" Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Are you going to claim you talk to them now? That they told you the secrets of the sea, so you could find the lost city of Atlantis, or the least polluted beach?"

"I would have come up with something much more epic than that actually," Jace assured her. "But truthfully, I just felt like walking into the room and figured that was a good opening."

"Well this is a girl's bedroom, and you weren't invited in here," Isabelle said. "So as much as I love you, get lost."

"I came to see Clary actually," Jace said. "So as much as you annoy me, I'll put up with you as well." He grinned at Clary.

Isabelle realized there was only one way for her to have peace. "You know what Jace, I'm having an epiphany. How about, you can move in here while I go claim the big bed for myself." Normally she would have been concerned that a room occupied by a boy would smell like a sweaty, well, boy, but Jace was neat as a pin and the room was probably pristine.

"Really?" Jace looked interested. "What do you think Clary? Do you think you could sleep with me so tantalizingly close by?"

"Oh definitely," Clary played it cool, even though all she was hearing from his question was 'do you think you could sleep with me.' "I'm more concerned about _you_ actually."

Isabelle got up and started in on grabbing her stuff for the trip down the hall. She had no desire to listen to this inanity, and tuned out the chatting.

Jace flopped on the bed as soon as Isabelle got up. He propped himself up on his elbow and looked across the gap to meet Clary's pretty green eyes.

"I don't know if you've noticed," he smoldered. "But I have blonde hair again."

"I hate to interrupt," Isabelle cheerfully interrupted. "But you have to go clear your stuff out of your room before you two can begin scandalizing the nation."

"That's true," Jace agreed. "I'll be back Clary," he ran out of the room, wanting to beat Isabelle there before she touched anything and contaminated it.

Clary flashed Isabelle a grateful look. "And I was actually starting to wonder if you liked me," she joked.

"And now that I'm leaving, you won't have to wonder," Isabelle smiled brightly as she walked out the door, leaving Clary blinking once again.

* * *

"…So you're back to black," Magnus raised an eyebrow at Alec as they pretended to be getting ready in the bathroom, when really they were taking an unnecessarily long time about it.

"Mm," Alec agreed. "Are you relieved?"

The other boy smiled. "I don't care what color your hair is. Honestly, my senior year of high school, I think mine was a different color every month." He cringed. "I'm amazed my hair survived actually. But somehow pink wasn't exactly _you_," he lifted a hand to play with a few stray strands of Alec's dark hair. Alec's breath caught.

"I could see you pulling off a pair of tight leather pants however, maybe with some eyeliner," Magnus suggested offhandedly. "Or perhaps the ripped clothing look could really work…"

Alec laughed. "I think," he leaned in to murmur in Magnus' ear. "That's wishful thinking."

Magnus raised his eyebrows in amused surprise, and then grinned. "Perhaps I do wish, but that doesn't mean I'm wrong."

Alec shook his head, a small smile on his lips. "I'll leave that sort of look to you."

"Because you love it," Magnus stated it like a fact. He stood back and stretched like a cat. "The moment you set your eyes on this you thought: now there's some sweet eye candy. That Magnus Bane has something going on." He leaned into Alec again, pressing him against the counter. "Hmm?"

Alec felt an embarrassed flush heating his cheeks. "I don't think I've ever classified someone as 'eye candy'. Not even in my head." He cleared his throat. "I, uh, may have noticed the pants though."

Inwardly pleased, Magnus pretended to be offended. "How dare you objectify me Alec Lightwood. I am more than the sum of my _very_ sexy body parts."

Alec blinked, flustered for more than one reason. "I-I know that, there are a lot of things I like about you-

"Kidding darling, kidding," Magnus interrupted. "Not that you're not welcome to go on," the corner of his mouth quirked up.

"I think I'm done," Alec said, also pretending to be miffed. "-if you're just going to tease me."

"Teasing you is too much fun," Magnus sighed, and continued to twine the strands of Alec's hair around his fingers. He wanted to slide his hand into that tangle of ebony hair, and none too gently pull and run his fingers through it. He wanted to do more than that actually, but Alec interrupted his thoughts before they drifted off into fantasy land.

"There's something I wanted to tell you," Alec said, taking a deep breath.

"Alright," Magnus stepped back. "What's on your mind?"

Alec 's hands clenched at his sides, as he nervously twisted the material of his own pajama pants. "Well, you know when Bat called us…boyfriends?"

Magnus nodded, that he remembered, and for Alec to continue.

"Well," Alec went on. "…That wasn't so bad. I don't know if he really thought that, or if he was trying to make fun. But I realized it wasn't the worst thing, for someone to think that."

Alec started talking faster. "I mean, I realized I would be lucky for that to be true, and shouldn't be embarrassed or ashamed of it. When we went over that cliff- I was thinking how glad I was that I met you before I possibly died a horrible, mangled death. Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is, I don't want to make a big announcement or anything on TV, but if someone asked if we were…boyfriends," It was still difficult to say the word. "I wouldn't say no."

Somehow that didn't seem enough. "I mean, I'd gladly say yes. And you could meet the rest of my family once I-" he winced. "…Once I enlighten them." That is if they didn't disown him afterwards. He really wasn't sure how they would react.

Magnus was just staring at him, and Alec could nearly kick himself for assuming. "I mean, that is if, _you'd_ like to say that we were too. I shouldn't have assumed. It's just, you said you wanted to see me when this was over…" he trailed off, biting his lip until it nearly bled. He'd been talking and talking, and probably making things worse. He looked at the floor.

"Oh Alec," Magnus let his breath out in a happy sigh. "Really?"

Alec's eyes flicked back up to Magnus' face. The other boy looked a little nervous himself, as if he were worried Alec might take it all back right now.

"Really," Alec said simply. "So, um-?" he couldn't seem to form the question, though he'd been doing pretty well up to this point. Thankfully, Magnus jumped in to save him.

"I'm yours," he purred, his arms going to Alec's waist to pull him closer. "And I'd tell it to anyone that asks-" he kissed his cheek. "To anyone that'll listen-" he kissed the other. "And I'll tell you, as often as you want." He finally placed a chaste kiss on Alec's lips.

Alec could hardly believe Magnus' earnest reaction. The tall boy was usually so collected, but this had clearly surprised him, in a good way. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus' neck, and leaned into him, exhaling a tense breath in relief.

"I'm so happy," Magnus murmured against Alec's neck as he leant to nuzzle there.

"Me too," Alec sighed. The other boy's humming contentment was catching, and Alec relaxed under his touch.

Magnus pulled back to grin at Alec, though he still kept his arms around him. "I'll have to thank that Batty idiot, and Tyra, and whoever invented pink hair dye. In fact, that turned out so well, I think we ought to try more colors and see what other revelations occur."

"Dear god no," Alec's eyes widened at the thought.

"I mean, pink didn't really compliment your coloring, but purple would be another story," Magnus was getting that alarming glint in his eye. "I can see it already, with a sparkly blue headband-

Alec pressed a finger to his lips to silence him, and shook his head in amusement.

"No," he said simply, before replacing his finger with his mouth.

* * *

The new Tyra limo was purple. It was a jarring sight for the sleepy contestants.

The drive was a long one, but this time the woodland creatures stayed out of the path of the vehicle.

Three hours later, they arrived at a beach.

"I think we're in Rhode Island," Simon commented.

Jace looked suspicious. "You didn't happen to tell someone to take the 'long way' did you?"

"No," Simon said defensively. "It's not my fault if we die this time."

They all filed out and into what appeared to be a large beachside resort. Tyra most likely owned it, and inside they were met with a mess of cameras, makeup people, and half finished sets.

Tyra was sipping some kind of pink drink, in a director's chair, but she stood to greet the contestants.

"Hello models!"

They greeted her in the usual fashion.

She smiled her supermodel smile and began her speech. "It's nice to see everyone. I know you have some idea of what you're doing today, but I'm going to explain in detail."

The contestants were afraid of what these 'details' might involve.

"Humans have been kissing since the caveman days," she started. "There are ancient cave drawings of it, somewhere, probably. The image of two people kissing is iconic, and it speaks to everyone. So today you'll be recreating some famous kisses either from history or pop culture! Kissing is romantic and sensual without being all about the booty, and I want to show young girls-and, erm, young boys, that romance is not dead!" She punctuated her exclamation with a fist pump, as if she expected that the live audience would have broken out into applause at this point. "I will now announce the couples."

The majority of the contestants were at the very least apprehensive.

"The first couple is Simon and Alec!" she smiled at them.

Anxiety washed over Alec in a crushing wave. He did not want to kiss anyone other than Magnus, and most certainly did not want to do it on camera. But it could have been worse, he knew. He could have had to kiss Jace (awkward), or Sebastian (frightening).

Or if the fates were very cruel-Clary.

Simon laughed nervously. He hadn't planned on dying today, but depending on Alec's mood, it was a possibility.

Tyra's grin was like that of a Cheshire cat. "You're going to be reenacting a scene that had millions of females across the nation going wild…the bedroom kiss from Twilight!" Only this time Bella will be a boy. I think it will be very controversial. But why can't Edward, the perfect, strong hero; be gay? I feel it will send a good message to the youth of America."

Alec really didn't like the sound of 'bedroom scene'.

"What is 'Twilight'?" he asked, worrying his lip.

Clary kindly started to explain it to him.

"The next couple," Tyra continued, "Is Maia and Sebastian!"

"_HIM?!_" Maia exclaimed, utterly disgusted. Sebastian could be the king of nasty and pompous pretty boys. He was everything that she hated.

"I know it's difficult to contain your enthusiasm," the dark eyed boy crossed one leg over the other.

Tyra attempted to reassure her. "It's alright if you dislike him Maia, because I think that will add to the _energy_ of the shoot. You two are going to do a spy tryst! Enemy agents: is it love, or is it part of their cover?"

"Or is it a B movie tagline?" Sebastian threw out a third option.

Maia preferred the third option actually, but she also preferred not to be involved in this at all.

"…The next couple is Clary and Aline!"

Aline smiled awkwardly at Clary and shrugged. Clary did not return the smile.

"…Your shoot is going to be special. We are on location at an _actual_ beach so we can get a real, rollin' round in the sand in bikinis beach kiss. It's going to be classic, so very old movie-ish."

Several mouths dropped open. "That is…special," Simon squeaked.

"I should start watching old movies," Jace commented, after clearing his throat.

"You perverts!" Clary smacked them both. "Boys are so weird. It's not like girls like watching _boys_ kiss."

"Aw, let them have their moment of being straight," Sebastian said to Clary. "With those two, it's not likely to last."

"…Our fourth couple is Magnus and Isabelle," Tyra informed the group. "You two are going to be reenacting one of the most famous kisses ever, the 1940's kiss between the sailor and the nurse. It's one of the most recognizable photographs of the twentieth century."

"Ah, post World War II United States," Magnus commented. "I'm sure that America would have loved me then."

"I get to wear a nurse's uniform," Isabelle approved.

Jace seemed intrigued by the concept. "Clary," he tried to sound as casual as possible. "Would you ever wear a nurse's uniform, to nurse me back to health if I were sick or injured perhaps?"

"No," she said simply.

"I would," Simon put in. "If you gave me 100 dollars."

Jace drummed his fingers against his thigh as he considered.

Magnus and Isabelle were fine with being paired up, but Alec was beyond horrified. His mind was thoroughly blown, and he hadn't even started thinking about it yet.

"…So of course that leaves our final couple, Jace and Raphael. You two get to be cowboys. I don't think I really have to explain this one, but I'm just going to say that this will be even more controversial than the source material, because you're going to be a gay _mixed race_ cowboy couple!"

"Fantastico," Raphael shook his head, glaring into the distance. "If only I had time to grow one of those little mustaches."

Jace shuddered. "Thank goodness there's no time for that. No offense, but I'm going to be pretending you're a girl, and that would make it a bit more difficult."

Raphael narrowed his eyes. "I'm going to pretend you're an _ugly_ girl that I'm taking pity on. Oh wait- did I say 'pretend'?"

Tyra smiled lovingly at them all. "Alright everyone, that's all I have to tell you. So head on over to makeup and make Mama Tyra proud!"

* * *

Alec could not believe he was in this situation. He was nearly out of his mind with dread, and they'd made him wear boxers and a thin t-shirt for god's sake! Why did he always end up wearing so little clothing? Simon got to be dressed. It wasn't fair.

"This is really freaking me out," he admitted to the other boy, who was looking considerably paler and had orange-ish/gold contacts in. His glasses were gone, and Simon wasn't particularly thrilled about it.

"I feel naked without my glasses," he said distractedly.

"_You_ feel naked?! _You_ have pants!"

Simon looked down at his lap. "So I do," he agreed.

"This is going to be so bad," Alec drew his knees up to his chest. "It's going to be so, so bad. I can't do it."

Simon could guess that Alec was actually pretty vulnerable in this situation, and was probably even more nervous than he was. "It won't be so horrible," he tried to reassure him. "Unless you think I'm uglier than Anakin after he was pwned by Obi-wan, or something."

Alec shook his head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Simon stared at him, flabbergasted.

"I don't think you're ugly though," Alec backtracked. "I'm just not comfortable with this."

"I'm not comfortable with it either," Simon said. "When I said I fooled around with Clary, I meant that we kissed and went to sleep. I think _I_ fell asleep actually, blowing it big time…and that's the extent of my experience. So I would say, 'this is just kissing' but that's already scary as hell to me, and apparently I fail at it. Very often I feel out of my element, like an Elven male whose time on Middle Earth is ending, and yet there is no great sea that I can sail over to escape this place like they did." He paused. "Oh, plus, you're a boy."

Alec thought that last bit almost came across as an afterthought, but had no desire to comment on the matter.

"These contacts are rather irritating," Simon said, when there was a silence.

* * *

Clary wasn't sure what was worse, that she had to kiss Aline, or that she had to wear a little green bikini while doing it. The short dress of the last photo shoot was bad enough.

Aline came out of makeup in a purple swimsuit. Clary tried to figure out whether Aline was upstaging her.

_She's probably even more flat-chested than I am_, Clary noted with some satisfaction. But Aline had better abs and a light tan. Damn.

"Well this is nice," Aline said cheerfully. "This beach is gorgeous, isn't it? And it's such a nice day."

"This is weird," Clary said flatly, refusing to be optimistic.

Aline deflated a bit. "Well, everybody has to do it, so I don't think it's that big a deal. It will be over before you know it."

Clary realized she was being a bit of a bitch, but she was just not in the mood. She was not overly fond of Aline, who seemed to be trying to move in on Jace. The last thing she wanted to do was pretend to be attracted to her.

"So…you and Jace huh?" Aline asked, changing the subject.

"Yes," Clary said pointedly. "Me and Jace, Jace and me, together."

"You guys are a cute couple," Aline smiled. "He's funny. I can tell he really likes you."

Clary paused. "Really?"

"Yeah, really. Can't you tell?"

Clary wondered if Aline was trying to make her complacent, so Aline could move in on him unchallenged. It wasn't going to work, that was for sure.

"Aline, do you like Jace or something?" she decided to just come right out and ask.

The other girl looked surprised. "Oh, he's cool. I don't like him like you do though. He's not my type."

Clary was possibly even more surprised. "I thought he was every girl's type."

Aline looked uncomfortable. "Um, well maybe he is, for most. But I am attracted to girls actually." Aline realized this was an awkward time to come out and say that, and hoped Clary wasn't going to be disgusted.

"Oh," Clary said. She absorbed that, and realized she was being a total bitch for no reason.

"I hope that doesn't bother you," Aline tried.

"No," Clary couldn't think of anything else to say about it though.

"Okay ladies!" Ragnor clapped to get their attention. "It's time for beach action! You've got a lot of scenery to work with here, so use the space!"

"I think he's calling us fat," Aline joked to Clary.

"Okay go," Ragnor got behind the camera.

Meanwhile, Jace and Raphael were dressed as cowboys and were trying to get a glimpse of the proceedings. They crouched behind a rock to watch.

"It's kind of funny Raphael," Jace was saying. "I thought I would hate the idea of Clary kissing someone else, but I find myself not minding this all that much."

"Stop bothering me, I'm trying to watch." Raphael smacked him, and Jace's cowboy hat nearly fell off.

Jace glared at him as he put it back on. "You're lucky that we have to be quiet here, or I just might have hurt you for that." He whispered.

"Like you could take me," Raphael whispered back. "Now shut up."

The girls were doing a pretty good job of rolling around in the sand, and in the boys' opinion, they were also doing a very good job of making it look hot, while Ragnor shouted, "Make it happen! Make it happen!"

Aline was on top, but Clary rolled out from under her and soon had her pinned. They kissed, their legs in a tangle of limbs.

"I taught her that move for self defense," Jace said proudly.

Raphael didn't even smack him. "Raphael approves of chicas who like chicas," he whispered.

The girls broke apart. "Let's go in the water," Aline suggested. "To get the sand off."

Clary agreed, and they got up to walk to where the water tide met the beach, the waves were rolling in, and they settled at the water's edge so that the surf broke around them as they kissed.

"Ay caramba!" Raphael exclaimed. "Aline is _muy_ caliente."

"Clary is much prettier," Jace disagreed.

"She's pretty," Raphael shrugged. "But Aline is still hotter."

"Are you kidding?!" the blonde boy exclaimed. "Clary's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She's like an angel on earth!"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far, but I'd still hit it." Raphael said, compromising.

"How…how _dare_ you! Jace was filled with a murderous rage. He launched himself at Raphael, taking the other boy completely by surprise.

"What… in the name… of el Diablo… are you doing?" Raphael choked out, as Jace had him by the throat.

"You don't get to talk about Clary like that, you bastard. Take it _back_."

Raphael grabbed Jace's wrist and managed to wrest free of his grip. "I'd still hit it…so hard," he said, taunting.

Immediately they were throwing punches as well as hurling insults.

"You're gay for Sebastian!" Jace accused, as he dodged a blow.

"Am not! You're gay for Simon!" Raphael threw back, just avoiding a knee to the groin. Ooh, low blow.

"You're gay for him too! I mean…I'm not but you are!" Jace gave up on trying to punch him and instead they started grappling. "And you're too short to be a model!"

Raphael's eyes narrowed. "Oh? Well _I_ look better in this _hat_ than you do!" he knocked Jace's hat off. It blew away into the wind.

Jace's expression darkened. "Now you've gone too far."

Raphael curled his fingers in a 'bring it' motion.

At that moment, Ragnor appeared, holding Jace's hat. "I believe you lost this, along with your sanity!" he firmly planted the hat on Jace's head, and waved his arms in exasperation. "I don't know _what_ you two think you are doing, but we're trying to have a photo shoot here, and you are distracting me and these young ladies! Now go get lost, and work on improving your chemistry. Now."

Sheepishly, they got up and walked away.

* * *

Much to his dismay, Alec ended up sitting awkwardly on a bed. The set was in a room set up to look like it belonged to a teenager. It was artificially cluttered to give it a 'lived in' vibe. The air conditioning was definitely on overdrive, and Alec shivered violently. He wanted to curl up under the covers, and hide from this situation.

But someone had probably carefully arranged the stupid blankets to look slept in. Just like stylists had fussed over his hair to make it look like he'd just sat up from restless tossing and turning.

It was ridiculous. If he just messed it up with his fingers he could have achieved the same effect.

"Okay," Simon was talking to himself to try and get psyched up for the big event. "I like watching you sleep Alec, it's fascinating to me…just be very still…so I can molest you." Yeah, he pretty much remembered the movie. Clary was going crazy at this part.

"Agh," Alec covered his ears. "Absolutely _no_ molesting!"

"I'm just trying to get into Edward's head," Simon reassured him. "He's the one that wants to molest you."

Ragnor finished adjusting the camera. "Alright boys, we're about ready to roll. So remember Simon, you're a vampire that desperately craves this boy's blood…only you want his _body_ even more. I want to see the passion!"

Simon was pretty sure this was the kind of thing his friends would never let him live down. Oh well.

"Shit," Alec squeaked.

Ragnor turned to him. "And you're a human that doesn't care about risking your life, because that vampire is damn hot! I need to see unbridled enthusiasm from you here!"

"Unbridled… enthusiasm?" Alec's voice cracked. He felt like he might pass out. He'd rather have all his teeth drilled without Novocain than do this.

"Okay, go." Ragnor got behind the camera.

Simon and Alec just stared at each other. Simon tapped his fingers against his leg. Alec chewed on his lip. They just did _not_ know how to start this.

Ragnor rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Simon, just get on the bed and start kissing him already. Please do not make me direct every move of this."

Simon let out the breath he'd been holding. "Oh," he said apologetically and climbed onto the bed, kneeling. Now they couldn't even look at each other.

After a few moments, Simon scooted closer to Alec and started to lean in. Alec shut his eyes tight and did the same. They leaned closer and closer until they banged noses, and Alec jerked back.

"I don't think I can do this," he said, knowing he shouldn't disturb the covers but twisting the sheets anyway.

"Sorry," Simon mumbled. "I told you I'm not good at it."

"My fault," Alec let out a harsh breath. "Okay, let's… try again."

This time they kept their eyes slightly open until their lips met. Alec's mouth was unyielding, Simon's was uncertain, and they were doing little more than pressing their mouths together. Neither knew what they should do with their hands, because it felt weird not to involve them in some way. Alec put his stiffly on Simon's shoulders, while Simon ran his fingers hesitantly up and down Alec's arm.

Ragnor face palmed.

"Stop," he sighed. "Simon, I think a vampire would look just a _bit_ less dead. And Alec, you are not exactly showing the sort of sexiness that enchants immortal beings. Step it up both of you."

"I don't want to enchant immortal beings," Alec mumbled. "…But I'm sorry Simon…I know you probably want to get this over with."

Simon sat back as inspiration came to him. His eyes were suddenly lit with a spark of determination. "I think you need to have a better attitude Alexander Lightwood."

Alec blinked. "Me?"

"That's what I said. Right from the beginning you were so _negative_. You're making me nervous here! You're freaking me out with your low self esteem-

Alec was indignant now. "Hey, you were the one angsting about elves!"

But Simon was on a roll, he could not be stopped. "I have to live up to fricken _Edward Cullen_. How's that for high standards? I'm probably going to get _death_ threats from the fangirls for this. When Tyra said controversial, she wasn't kidding!" Simon was getting quite worked up.

"…And somehow I'm on this show trying to be a model, and maybe what I'm about to say isn't really the most professional thing. But as for wanting to 'get it over with', that's not the case." he took a deep breath, stepping to the floor. "I don't care what anyone thinks about it. Because right here, right now, in Bella's bedroom-"

He whipped off his jacket, revealing the Edwardian navy blue t-shirt underneath.

"-Simon Lewis is feeling a little bicurious."

He threw the jacket in the corner of the room, and attempted his best 'desperate to ravish you' expression.

Alec was absolutely terrified as Simon got back on the bed and crawled closer until their faces were inches apart. The blue-eyed boy scooted back until his back bumped the headboard, but there was nowhere to go. He was trapped with this crazy boy that had just referred to himself in the third person.

Simon recognized that Alec was just about stunned into submission. He pushed all doubt out of his mind and whispered to Alec's slightly parted lips. "Be still."

He pressed his lips against that mouth without hesitancy this time. His fingers danced over the porcelain skin of Alec's neck, and felt the other boy's rapid pulse in the hollow of his throat. Simon imagined that if he _was_ a vampire- that would drive him crazy, and kissed him more fiercely.

_Magnus is going to kick my ass_, Simon thought to himself. Ah, well.

Alec tried to kiss him back when he had relaxed a little. He really wanted to get this shot done.

But Simon pulled away. "You should lie down," he said.

"I don't think-," Alec started to protest.

"Just do it," Simon commanded. "Trust me."

Alec bit his lip, and let his head hit the pillow. He blew a stray wisp of dark hair out of his face. "Now what?"

Simon pushed on Alec's thigh. "Legs down," he said, just before he was kicked none too gently in the ribs.

"Ow," he said, widening his eyes to flash Alec a hurt look.

"You try that again," Alec growled, "And I'll kick you right in your damn bicuriosity."

"Calm down Bella," Simon admonished. "I'm fairly sure I comprehend your meaning."

Simon positioned himself over Alec, so that there was a separation between their bodies. He had to play the character of a vampire with shaky control here. Plus he had to protect the family…bicuriosity.

"Don't, ah- touch me," Simon suggested, as he couldn't help but blush even though Alec didn't look like he had the intention of doing any such thing. "Just leave your arms at your sides."

Alec nodded slowly, but he looked suspicious. "What are you going to do?" he may have been chilled, but he was grateful for the space between them.

"Nothing," Simon said honestly. "I'm just going to lean down," he did so. "And then, you arch up a bit to kiss me, like you're impatient with my paranoid vampire ways. It's up to you now."

Alec nodded again. He settled his arms so he could lean on his forearms enough to support himself. Simon's eyes were closed, and Alec could see the nervous flutter of movement beneath his eyelids, and the marks on Simon's nose where his glasses had rested. He took a deep breath in and out, then arched up a bit off the bed, just enough to meet Simon's lips. He closed his eyes. Alec realized Simon was barely kissing back, but just letting him go with it.

_Paranoid vampire ways_, Alec thought to himself. So this was like a test.

And it was up to him now to ensure this damn picture was successful.

He bit down lightly on Simon's lower lip, and tugged ever so gently, turning a cautious kiss into a bit of a challenge.

Simon's eyebrows flew together as his eyes opened in surprise. He made some small sound that Alec pretended not to notice as he fell back on the bed quickly.

Simon blinked as he looked down at Alec and then around the room. He needed his glasses, because he could barely see a darn thing.

Ragnor was in tears. "Oh my god," he said. "That was, So. Damn. Beautiful. I feel like we have a future director on our hands! Simon you just have an eye for a scene, even if you're not seeing it! And Alec that little 'I dare you' bite was brilliant. You two really made that scene my fantasy-um I mean, made it your own. Strike that bit of perving from the record gentlemen; I'm so damn proud of you both I don't even know what I'm saying right now! So get out of here, we've _got_ this shot."

"We did it! We did it!" Simon cheered.

"You get off now," Alec warned, as he fidgeted impatiently.

"Of course," Simon removed himself. "You were fantastic Bella. I think I should take you out to dinner, and watch you eat next." He noticed the look Alec was giving him, and backtracked. "What I mean is, it would never work between us. I'm leaving you forever." He ran away.

Alec rubbed his temples before getting up to go search for his clothes.

* * *

Raphael and Jace were absorbing the artistic qualities of their set, which was outside, and basically involved a tent, a cactus, and sand.

"They just stuck a cactus on a beach," Jace said. "That's messed up."

"Only about as messed up as what we're about to do," Raphael grumbled.

"I don't think there were cactuses in this movie," Jace continued.

"You _saw_ it?"

"No actually, thus, I don't 'think' there were cactuses in it, rather than I 'know' there weren't cactuses in it. Or is it cacti? I think it is. Anyway, perhaps now is the time to worry about improving chemistry, rather than vocabulary."

"I don't want to improve my chemistry with you." Raphael complained. He folded his arms to pout.

"I hate you so much right now," Jace agreed. "Which is why we need to work on pretending to be attracted to each other, or we'll be kicked right off this show. Tyra will say that we can't act or work well with others, and one of us will be gone. I don't really like the 50/50 chance that it could be me."

"I can act perfectly well," Raphael dismissed Jace's concerns. Acting was one of his most useful talents, and he secretly thought he was perhaps even better than Sebastian at it. "So it's your problem if you can't."

"It's both of our problems," Jace corrected him. "If I do poorly, it's a reflection on you, and vice versa."

Raphael rolled his eyes. "Do what you must, if you're so worried about it."

Jace approached Raphael and closed his eyes. "Okay," he said. "I'm imagining you're a girl. It helps that you are rather scrawny."

"I am not scrawny," Raphael protested. "And good things come in small packages."

"Can you not talk about your package?" Jace complained. "I'm trying to imagine that you don't have one."

"There's nothing small about my-

"Just shut up girl Raphael," Jace interrupted him. "No one cares. Now, I'm sure Clary will understand, especially since she seemed to be having some lesbian fun there-"

"Can you get on with this?"

Jace opened his eyes. "I can't do it when you talk to me in that voice. You say you can act, so prove it, and try to sound female. Convince me."

"Oh come on."

"Prove it! Or are you all talk?"

The small boy sighed, and put on a high pitched voice. "Oh Señor, why do you keep me waiting? I need your masculine, strong, hands all over my helpless feminine body!" he snorted with laughter, expecting Jace to give up on this ridiculously stupid idea.

Instead, the golden eyed boy seemed to approve. "I'm just building the anticipation little lady. It'll be worth it," he put his hands on Raphael's upper arms and stroked the tanned skin. "Your skin is so smooth," he said, appreciatively.

Raphael stared at him in disbelief. "Are you actually-

"Unh uh!" Jace interrupted. "Girly voice!"

Absolutely amazed, Raphael started again in the high pitched voice. "Ooh, Señor, you tease me! I need you now! Now!" He threw in an orgasmic, feminine scream for good measure. "NOW!!"

Jace slid his hands from Raphael's arms to his flat chest. "Is this what you want?"

Raphael remembered the voice just in time. "I… uh, si. I mean… I think that-

He broke off with a surprised gasp when Jace tweaked his nipple through his t-shirt.

"Oh my god," Jace moaned as he felt up Raphael's chest. "They're so perky…so real…"

Raphael broke away quickly, actually disturbed for once. "What is _wrong_ with you? I do not have _breasts!_ I barely even have _pecs!_"

Jace opened his eyes. "Did I mention I have a very good imagination?"

They heard a slow clap, and turned to see Sebastian applauding them. Maia was standing beside him in a cocktail dress, her face twisted in an expression of horrified disbelief.

"You see that Maia?" Sebastian said to her. "I'm not nearly as creepy as either one of them. Bravo gentlemen, bravo."

Raphael clenched his hands at his sides, fuming quietly.

"…That was quite an Oscar worthy performance Raphael." Sebastian complimented him. "The touch of innocence, the eagerness, the hesitation, the turning back into a man, it was amazing. I believed it."

Raphael composed himself. He was going to keep his dignity. "I don't think you could have done it better," he said, fixing his t-shirt.

Jace waved to Maia. "Hi Maia," he said, ignoring Sebastian completely. "That's a nice dress."

She just shook her head, and started back into the building. "I think fresh air was a bad idea," she said as Sebastian followed after her.

Raphael turned on Jace. "We're done with that," he snarled. "I don't care what kind of issues you have with this situation."

"No, I think I'm good now," Jace said. "That helped."

"It damn well better have." Raphael snapped.

Ragnor walked over from where he had been shooting Aline and Clary. "Alright gentlemen, hopefully you're ready to go, because you're on."

There was a catcall in the distance. "Ride em' cowboy!"

"SEBASTIAN!" Ragnor yelled back. "I told you to go get the tux on _fifteen_ minutes ago!"

The boy disappeared inside with a laugh.

"That one's going to be the death of me," Ragnor mumbled as he fiddled with the camera. "Alright, we're ready to roll."

* * *

Inside, Simon was back in his normal clothes, and was sitting to observe the hubbub around him, when Isabelle came out of wardrobe. She was wearing a knee length white dress, stockings, and white heels. Her hair had been done so that it waved in an old fashioned style, and her naturally pink lips were ruby colored. Her eyes looked very large and blue.

"Wow," Simon said, in awe. "You look really beautiful."

"Thank you," she smiled at him. "How was it kissing my brother?"

"Oh," Simon blanched. "It was good, I mean it was fine. Not too fine, it was just alright… Psh, I endured it. You know."

Isabelle laughed. "Got it. Well I suppose I'd better find my sailor." She smiled before walking away.

"Good luck!" Simon called out.

She glanced back at him and waved. "Thank you again."

Simon sighed. It just didn't seem right that he was competing against Isabelle in a modeling competition. She really looked like a supermodel already, and was so far out of his league it wasn't even funny.

He bet that Magnus would have gladly traded places with him as far as kissing couples went, if they were allowed. But Simon wasn't at all sure that Isabelle was any less intimidating. Plus, he had honestly more than 'endured' kissing Alec. Simon knew he liked girls, but he could appreciate the opportunity to tame a dangerous and admittedly attractive creature like Alec. It was a thrill just to survive it.

Just as Simon was thinking this, Alec stalked into the room, still dressed as he was for the shoot, or rather, undressed as he was for the shoot.

He looked around before turning reluctantly to Simon. "Have you seen my clothes?"

"Not since you were wearing them," Simon replied.

Alec glared at him as if he suspected it was his fault. "They're not where I put them."

"Clothes seem to be a casualty on these outings," Simon pointed out. "Ever since the snake incident I've resolved to keep mine safe in high places."

"This is crazy," Alec snapped, before storming out again.

Simon relaxed again in his chair, as he couldn't help but be relieved that Alec had left peacefully.

That left him alone to think again. He let the thoughts drift through his mind, comfortable and glad his clothes hadn't gone missing.

Wait.

High places…where certain people couldn't reach.

It couldn't be…

Suddenly he no longer felt comfortable being in the room alone, and ran out to find company/witnesses.

...From the wardrobe, disappointed mumbling could be heard.

…to be continued

* * *

This is threatening to be sooo long, I'm sorry I had to cut it off. The good news is that I'll probably be able to update tomorrow…and wow you guys. Simon/Alec was the first couple I picked, and after having a good laugh, I really tried to figure out how _that_ one would go.

Time for thank you's!

Somecrazyshit: I am glad that you were relieved! Also, I aim to entertain… dude! XD

MelanieRose: I'm glad you find it funny, I try. Your user name is pretty, btw. :)

Aiscat93: alas, Jace and Simon weren't meant to be…this time at least. ;D Thank you for the nice compliments.

LA-EL-LAS: HA! I'd love to do 'other' things with him too. He's too cute. XD

MagnusSpark: Good on you for calling the washout dye. :D I try not to keep people waiting for the chapters…seriously I'll try to be a bit quicker. Thanks for the review. :)

Wasteaminute: I lovelovelove you for reviewing! Thx for the comment. :)

-Magnus Bane: You're lucky for being married to them. I'm jealous. XD

In-the-fire: I hope it was so far as interesting as you anticipated. :) lol the anime characters image. I know what you mean.

Pawfoot: Haha, don't blame Simon. Blame me, I guess. There's nothing I like to see/hear more than 'WIN!' So, thanks for that. :D

Jaye Black: I'm glad you did comment, and that you like it. I hope that you continue to enjoy. :)

Rpwehp12: Lol! First Raphael fan to comment. I actually really liked the little bugger in the series. He didn't take any crap, haha. :D

Marauderette lily: haha, I wasn't criticizing you for reading that much! I'm impressed. This is fine literature here, haha ;D. I'm just kidding. I hope that it was so far interesting. :)

Lost-In-Thought: He doesn't know how difficult it would be to break them up. He's smart though. I enjoyed sending them over the cliff…not in a bad way of course. XD

Burningximpossiblyxbright: Yay! I'm glad you sang along! I so did too. And yes, I could see Jace doing that far too easily. Crazy boy. And I know what you mean about imagining them with different hair, oddly enough Alec was the only one I could do it for. :D And Simon is incredibly silly, I love him for that. :) I hope you continue to enjoy.

Perdyprincess: I have a feeling this may have been even scarier than Jace in his purest form! XD I hope you're not too traumatized. Thx for commenting!

Katara-alchemist: thx again, I can't say it enough. :)

Lunareclipse: I'm not sure if my msg to you went through or not (darn ) but I agree with you that it's a MIRACLE no one has died, haha…so was that terrifying?

Totalxnightmare: You've made me miss your pink hair too. :( haha, thx for commenting.

Magickless sorceress: I think I sent a msg to you, but thx again anyway! I think that they should start calling it the Tyra Tank on the show. :D

Kyofred: You're amazing! Haha. Thx.

Isabel Chase: I'm glad you love Malec, and the plot, and that you think it's funny. That makes me feel very glad. :) I hope you continue to like it.

Ellenfp: I'm glad you like Simon. He needs love. :) As for who planned the crash, or if anyone did…it's a secret. ;)

Amirin: thank you for your input, there will be more Clary/Jace. Also…I tried to update quick. Can I still have a cookie? :)

Nezrin: Lol, I find it really amusing that ALREADY their fanbase is split on the name! I think I like Sebastael too though. ;)

Nenalata: I feel bad for Jonathon too. I'm glad you find him awesome in this, haha. I think he's wasted on Maia a bit, but that's how it turned out.

Kara-leafgiggle-smileyface: haha, that's Bella's second child…the one that was born from Edward because VampireBella will learn that she also has the ability to impregnate people…sorry I'm rambling! Thx for commenting! XD

Chairman_meow_pwns_church: Your user name is sooo cute! And true. :) I tried to update as fast as possible, but the next chapter will be quicker, promise.

Coolnesskate: thx for the book suggestion, I'll have to check that out. Also, I would love to meet Malec too. I like to think that they exist somewhere in their alternate world, happy and in love. :) that is so cheesy…but it's true. lol SHA-ZAM! back at you.

AVdk: I'm glad you enjoyed. Also, sorry that Jace and Izzy's hair didn't stay that way, but I really couldn't picture them, haha.

MelloMad: is your name for Mello from death note? I love him. Anyway…sorry that they weren't together. Other couples will certainly have their moment however.

b33zir4dz: haha, I love Jace, Alec, Magnus…Clary…she and I have our ups and downs. ;D But I admire the way she got Jace, I mean, go girl. Thx for commenting!

BaneLuver2010: haha, they would be so shocked if you burst in there, it'd be great. XD glad you like it!

I Suffer from hubris: your user name is cool. I'm glad you think it's funny. :)

Niniadepapa: thank you for your suggestions and for your high praise!

Angryfish: I didn't see 'Up', and now I am curious. Thanks for reviewing. :)


	12. Miss, I am a professional

**Well so much for my optimistic 'I'll probably be able to update tomorrow'. Eleven tomorrows later…wow I'm sorry. I've been incredibly busy with the start of the new semester.**

**I don't own these characters, or America's Next top model. The credit goes to Cassandra Clare, and Tyra Banks. Two lovely brilliant ladies that are best friends, except not really about the friends part.**

**Probably.**

* * *

Isabelle and Magnus' photo shoot was outside, and set to take place on the boardwalk lined with shops. There were a dozen or so extras dressed in period fashion, and their basic duties involved milling about as if they had a purpose.

"Babe," Magnus arched an eyebrow in appreciation when Isabelle arrived. "You are a vision. Truly, you missed your era."

Isabelle flashed her perfect teeth. "Is that so? I'm pretty sure the forties weren't ready for me."

"I'm certain I can say the same," he admitted with a wry smile.

Ragnor finished up adjusting the camera. "Well you two, we're about ready to roll. Keep in mind that this is about drama here. You're recreating a moment that still moves people decades later."

"So no pressure," Isabelle and Magnus said at the same time, before looking at each other.

"Right," Ragnor said, looking back and forth between the two of them. "Whenever you're ready."

Isabelle stepped in to Magnus and looked up at him. "Geez," she commented. "And I always thought _I _was freakishly tall."

"Fantastically tall," he corrected. "Or fabulously tall, either one works."

"At least it means I can reach," she smiled and pecked him on the lips.

He threw his head back with a throaty laugh, before curling his long fingers around her waist. "No worries there darling, we're visiting a time when men swept women off their feet," with that he dipped her backward slightly so that her arms came up around his neck.

"Drop me and you're dead," she said. "But this is pretty romantic."

"Then I guess against all odds, I'm doing something ri-

She cut him off with a kiss, which he returned.

She broke away after a moment, to whisper. "Did you miss me- during the war?"

"Every minute," he said solemnly, getting into character as well. "Of every day."

"Then show me, when you kiss me," she said, her breathy voice right out of an old time movie.

"But darling, there are people watching," he set up the line hiding the amused grin that threatened to break across his face.

She grabbed the tie around his neck and pulled him closer. "Let em' watch."

He dipped her back farther and claimed her mouth, supporting her with a hand on her waist and on her back. Her foot popped up as she pressed against him and tangled her fingers in his hair.

Ragnor almost forgot to take pictures, he was so entranced by this touching scene. But he remembered himself in time, and got several that he suspected were absolutely fantastic.

"Amazing!" he declared, interrupting them. "We've got it! Good job you two, I was so damn _moved!_ Now get out of here, you pair of sweethearts, you lovers you!" he grinned like an idiot, clutching his hands by his face.

"Well," Isabelle said, patting her hair. "That was fun."

"Indeed, you were marvelous," Magnus drawled.

"You'd better wipe that lipstick off your face though," Isabelle suggested. "Before Alec sees, and breaks his brain."

"Ah yes," Magnus nodded. "Protective older brother and all."

"Well that…but mostly he would just hate the thought of you kissing anyone else," Isabelle winked before strutting off, laughing to herself at his expression.

Magnus stared after her.

"Now there," Ragnor scolded him. "Don't look so shocked. She's a woman, of course she knows about you and her brother."

Magnus turned to him. "You _too_?"

"Listen dear, you're both young, and you're not exactly subtle. Now, thank god I am almost done with this procession of insanity, because I need a stiff drink." He clapped Magnus on the shoulder before wandering off back towards the building.

* * *

Sebastian had finally bothered to put on the tux and he had to admit, he looked damn good in it. He kind of wanted to get Raphael's opinion on it, but he was occupied, so he had to settle for Maia.

"I am almost too sexy to be a spy," he said to her. "Don't you think Maia?"

"I think you mean too obnoxious," she checked out how the thigh sheath for the dagger looked in the mirror. She wasn't really a thigh sheath kind of girl.

"…I mean, of course I'm incredibly intelligent and charismatic and fluent in seven languages and also in absolutely peak physical condition, but I just stand out too much. Spies have to be able to move about unnoticed, but that would be impossible for me. I'm far too memorable, you can't forget this face."

"Can I try?" Maia said flatly.

He looked over at her. "That is a nice dress," he said finally. "Curve hugging and…minimalistic." His mouth quirked up.

Her face twisted in disgust, and she moved away from him. "Keep your eyes in your head, and your hands to yourself."

"I think you're missing the point of this aren't you?" he folded his arms over his chest.

It was at this time that Ragnor rushed in in a huff and a tizzy. "Well, let's hope this one goes better than the one before last." He winced and pulled a cactus needle out of the leg of his pants. "To the ballroom!"

Evidently, this hotel had a ballroom, and people were standing around prepared to dance the tango.

"The extras are looking fabulous," Ragnor declared with a sweeping gesture. "The stage is set, the lighting is low, and the music makes you want to grab someone and _do_ it."

"Sebastian's available," Maia grumbled. "Grab him."

"…It's the perfect opportunity for some sultry sensuality!" Ragnor continued, either ignoring or not hearing Maia's comment. "Let's make it happen!"

He got behind the camera, and signaled for the dance to begin.

Maia picked up a glass of champagne off the table and nearly downed it. Yes, she was underage, but if she ever wanted to be drunk for something, this was it.

Sebastian picked up a glass and sipped it elegantly, before tossing the glass it into a corner of the room. It shattered with a tinkling of crystal.

"Dance with me," he smoldered.

"Let me guess. You're absolutely amazing at dancing the tango." She plunked her empty glass down and he pulled her more to the center of the floor.

"Absolutely," he smirked more openly. "I'll make you look good."

Maia scoffed. "You're talking to a girl that's half Latina, I can dance this backwards."

He raised an eyebrow. "Did you actually just make a joke?"

"Perhaps I'm drunk already," she shrugged.

He clasped her hand as he placed the other on her lower back. She put her hand on his upper back, and dug her nails in so that it must have hurt.

He didn't flinch. "Then you are already at a tactical disadvantage. You must know that the second rule of spying is; always stay sharp."

"And now you want me to ask what the first is." Maia said flatly. "I'll buy. What is this _sacred_ first rule?"

He dipped her dramatically, so that her leg slid between his thighs, making the slit of her dress ride up. He ran his hand down to her thigh for just a moment.

"Always keep your weapons concealed," Maia watched in shock as he threw the dagger that had been in the thigh sheath. It stuck in the wall with a sharp thud. "…Until after the mission." He moved against her suggestively.

"You could have killed someone," she hissed, straightening quickly.

"That _is_ an occupational hazard."

"This is just modeling!"

"Now now, you and I both know that's just our cover. And that was a carefully aimed throw."

"You almost took out that old lady!"

"Ah Maia, the wonderful thing about the elderly is how expendable they are." Sebastian could feel that she was considering struggling out of his grip, and released her into a spin only to pull her flush against him on the return.

"You're a bastard," she said to his mouth.

"A magnificent one," he agreed, before closing the gap for a rough kiss.

She bit his lip, hard, but it didn't much deter him.

When he pulled away, he looked pleased with himself. "Your lips taste like champagne."

"Yours taste like blood," she spat back, referring to the fresh cut from the bite.

"Even better," his voice dripped honey as he licked the crimson stain from his lip.

She managed to wrest out of his grip, and raised a hand to smack him, but he caught her wrist.

Frustrated, she played her last card and kissed him savagely.

He returned the kiss, bringing his free hand up to tangle in her wild brown hair.

She broke away to smile triumphantly. Inches from his lips, she spoke. "You forgot rules three and four."

"Mm, did I?" he questioned casually.

"You did. Three: don't get distracted, and four…" she revealed the knife she had removed from her other leg while kissing him, that was now being pressed against his side. "…Always carry a spare."

To her surprise, he just grinned all the wider. "Fortunately, I remembered the fifth rule."

Suddenly she felt the press of cold steel against her throat, and realized that the hand that had tangled in her hair had not been gratuitous. He'd had a knife to her throat the whole time.

"Never underestimate a sexy woman," he purred.

She gasped in astonishment. _Damn_ him.

The violin music faded out.

"Wow," Ragnor said, causing them both to step away from each other to look at him. "That was so well choreographed! I am excited to see _this_ photo. Oh, and nice try Maia. Good for you for giving it a shot."

She growled.

"You're both dismissed, but please hand me the weapons before you go," he held out his hand. "Can't have the contestants murdering each other after all."

Maia handed over the knife in her hand, and Sebastian did as well.

"I think you had another," Ragnor eyed Sebastian suspiciously.

"Feel free to pat me down," Sebastian put his arms out and spread his legs a little. He tried to look innocent, but his eyes held a challenge.

The man absolutely refused to be flustered by this demon child. But at times it was difficult. "I'll pass." He said finally.

"That's what I thought," the boy sounded incredibly self- satisfied as he turned to stride away, whistling along with the tune of the music.

Ragnor walked over and picked up a glass of something strong and alcoholic. He was finally done with these photo shoots, and he thought that a drink was well deserved. He swallowed it down like a shot.

"Yeah," Maia said after watching him. "He has that affect."

"I said you were dismissed dear."

* * *

The contestants were changing into the clothes they had arrived in, and Alec was sitting in a corner, trying not to draw attention to the fact that he no longer had any.

Ragnor stumbled in some time later, pushing wheelie clothes rack of swimsuits. "Hello everyone. For the most part, that was a bang up job!" he giggled as if that were a funny thing to say. "Completely banged up…" he seemed to lose his train of thought for a moment, but recovered. "And now you get to enjoy the fantastic weather of the summer and you can enjoy the sun and enjoy the sand, and no wind no rain or winter's cold…can stop me baby, oho no baby…" he trailed off, humming tunelessly.

"Forgive me. Anyway, what I'm saying is that we're giving you swimsuits to KEEP so you can enjoy the beach." He hiccupped. "So enjoy!"

The contestants found the suit labeled with their name, and walked off to change.

"He just said enjoy about five times," Raphael grumbled.

"I think he's enjoying himself there." Magnus hypothesized.

"That's not very professional," Clary sniffed.

Jace was the first changed, and he ran out of the building whooping and hollering. "Hurray for the beach! The sun loves me! The surf loves me, the-AAAAGHOOOOOWWWW!!!!" Everybody heard his pained scream.

Raphael was getting a headache from the exposure to sunlight, and he rubbed his temples. "Did he run into the cactus again?"

Aline peaked out the window. "Ooh, yeah." She winced.

"I figured."

"I'm okay!" Jace shouted back. "I got the best of it THIS time!"

Indeed, the cactus was felled.

Soon everyone had finished raiding the room full of beach equipment and was set up.

Raphael was wearing sunglasses, a hat, and a shirt along with his swim trunks. He was sitting under an umbrella. He had taken a magazine from the lobby, and was trying to fascinate himself with the ads of 'Vogue.'

"Raphael," Sebastian came over tossing a volleyball. "Join my beach volleyball team. We can definitely take down Isabelle and Aline."

"No," he didn't look up from the magazine.

"Come on now, I'm asking you even though you're short as hell. You should be flattered that I'm offering this opportunity." Sebastian insisted.

"I do not like beach volleyball. The sun makes me sick, I do not like sand, I do not like the ocean, and I do not like boys."

"Well this is not turning out to be a good day for you is it?"

"No."

"What _do_ you like anyway?"

"I like chicas. And the nighttime, and money, and being on top of high things." He thought a moment. "And cactuses."

"It's cacti Raphael."

"Well look at you, and your infinite knowledge of all things useless." He flipped a page.

Sebastian stood. "Be that way then. You were the first one I asked. And… I've realized you're the only one I've ever really wanted-"

Raphael turned another page.

"…for my team," Sebastian finished. He was just about to turn away when Raphael finally spoke up.

"It would be _my_ team-if I ever agreed to play which I won't- because I'm the leader."

"You are _not_."

"Am too."

"Are _not_."

There was silence.

"This is your last chance to change your mind," Sebastian waved the volleyball temptingly in front of him.

Raphael licked his finger to turn a particularly stubborn corner.

"Fine," Sebastian said harshly. "Sit here by yourself. See if I care." He stomped off.

"...Am too." Raphael said; just to infuriate him before he was out of earshot.

Raphael watched from behind his shades as Sebastian's shoulders tensed. He was clearly considering marching back over or swearing at the top of his lungs. Instead, he kicked the sand like a five year old and marched onward.

The small boy laughed from behind the magazine that he'd never been bothering to read.

* * *

Simon was enjoying the waves. He was alone in the water, and he felt it was him against the ocean. Sometimes the waves got the better of him, and he went crashing into the beach like a felled sapling. But other times, he caught a huge wave just right, and body surfed it into shore like a graceful Na'vi riding the mighty Toruk. Then there were the times that the waves were gentler, and moving with them was more like being a graceful unicorn swimming downstream.

That was life. Right there.

Maia was dipping her feet in, and pondering her chances in the competition. When she really thought about it, it wasn't that encouraging.

Jace had eagerly climbed into the lifeguard's chair, and was blowing his whistle at the beach volleyball players.

"FOUL!"

"That was not a foul you moron!" Sebastian yelled back. "That was perfectly legal!"

"That's your third one! Keep it a clean game or sit it out!"

"YOU LITTLE BITCH! _NONE_ OF THOSE WERE FOULS-

"Ahem," Isabelle interrupted him. "You need to control your temper Sebastian. No one's ever going to play on your team if you don't."

Clary had no interest in playing, or in their argument, but she knew how to solve the problem in a satisfactory way.

She walked to Jace's lifeguard chair and collapsed to the sand. "Oh lifeguard! I'm drowning. Save me."

She lay down and closed her eyes.

Rather than use the ladder, Jace just jumped to the sand and was at her side in a moment.

"Don't panic miss, for I am a professional," he settled over her.

"I think I need CPR, cough cough."

"I think it's your only hope," Jace said seriously, brushing a strand of red hair from her face. "I think I need to begin a full body examination."

"Mm," she smiled, her eyes still closed. "I didn't know that was how CPR was done."

"Trust me miss, I am certified." He kissed her briefly. Then, he bent to her neck, and flicked his tongue out over her throat, before nipping gently.

"Good news," he groaned. "You now have a pulse."

"Well that _is_ good news."

He settled his hands over her ribs, in what he deemed was a 'safe zone' while still being able to touch bare skin.

"And you're breathing as well. I think the golden boy has saved another life today."

"My hero," she breathed in his ear, causing him to shiver.

Very quickly they were rolling around in the sand like there was no tomorrow.

* * *

Magnus was glad he had set up his towel far from where that little display was taking place, because it really was more than a bit nauseating.

The best thing about the beach was that he was going to get an absolutely fantastic tan. He had one naturally, but this was going to be even hotter. There would be tan lines, unfortunately, but that couldn't be helped. Things would get far crazier if everyone decided to turn this into a nude beach and go around in the buff. He wasn't at all sure the world was prepared for what might happen if all of these crazies started wandering around naked.

It was then that Alec finished up running, and stopped, panting, at the water's edge.

Magnus tried not to be too obvious about watching as the boy stretched and then dove into the water. He must have just wanted to cool off after the exercise, because he was soon done. After scanning the beach, he headed in Magnus' direction.

_He was looking for me,_ Magnus thrilled at the pleasant thought.

"Hey," Alec smiled. "Can I sit here?"

"Please do," Magnus suppressed a laugh. Alec was so funny sometimes, thinking he should ask permission for something like that.

Alec grabbed his towel and furiously towel dried his hair so that it would stop dripping on him.

That done, he collapsed back on his towel and looked up at the sky, letting out a deep breath. After working out he felt tired in a good way, his muscles felt wonderfully sore and the sun felt really good on his bare skin.

He felt Magnus' eyes on him, and was suddenly self conscious.

"I bet you don't often just lie in the sun," Magnus commented.

"Oh," Alec hadn't expected that. "No, I don't often um…just lie anywhere."

"Busy boy."

"I guess so. This is nice though." And it was. He could just be warm, and comfortable, and there was nothing else he needed to do.

"Mmm," Magnus groaned happily and rolled over to give equal attention to his back. "I love it." He arched into the warmth like a cat sunning itself. Alec could hear his contented humming breaths. It was almost like Magnus was purring.

After a few moments, Magnus leaned up on his elbows. "You need to put sunscreen on."

"I put it on before," Alec protested.

"You sweated it off," Magnus said, a lazy smile on his lips. "I love your pretty, blushing skin, but the sun won't be kind to it."

Of course Alec blushed at that moment.

"Here," Magnus handed him a bottle. "Or you'll burn for sure. You don't have to skimp on it."

Alec knew he was right, and he popped the cap and started to rub it in all over his legs, arms and torso, and face. He could barely reach his back, and that was the price he paid for lacking in the flexibility department.

"I can help," Magnus suppressed a laugh that threatened when he plucked the sunscreen from Alec's suddenly lax fingers.

He moved his fingers over the gorgeously taut muscle of Alec's back, rubbing the sunscreen in circular motions wherever Alec couldn't reach.

"There," Magnus smiled and lay back down. "Now you're all set."

Magnus seemed completely relaxed, as he stretched out and soaked in the sun, breathing evenly and deeply.

Alec on the other hand, had tensed as soon as Magnus had touched him, and he couldn't seem to stop breathing so quickly. He was having an intense internal debate, and finally one side won out.

"Magnus?"

"Yeees darling?

"Do you need me to…do the same? For you I mean?"

Magnus hesitated for only a moment. He had actually managed to reach all parts of his back himself, but how nice it would be to have Alec touch him. He didn't want him to feel rejected.

A little extra sunscreen never hurt anyone.

"I'd appreciate that Alec."

Alec poured some sunscreen into his palm, and dragged his fingers down the angle and curve of Magnus' shoulder blade. The bone moved under skin and muscle as Magnus shifted under the touch. The purring rumbles in his throat increased as Alec used both hands to rub over the tanned expanse of skin.

Alec was starting to wish Magnus would just be completely still, because every little shifting movement was far too exciting, and that was the problem with volunteering for this.

_He's just breathing Alec_, he scolded himself firmly. _People breathe, and it's not an arousing or interesting thing._

But it was.

"Oh," Magnus sighed, his eyelids fluttering. "That feels good."

Alec's fingers were trembling. "I think I'm done," he choked out, hoping he'd done a good enough job.

"Thank you," Magnus' bright yellow green eyes snapped open when he smiled.

Alec mumbled something that hopefully amounted to 'you're welcome' before lying down on his stomach and trying to get his breath back.

When his brain had unscrambled enough that he could form words, he asked Magnus a question.

"Did you go in the water? It's not even cold."

"No," Magnus said, the lazy smile slipping. "I don't like water. I mean, I can shower and I can enjoy things like Jacuzzis and sometimes even a pool. But anything like oceans, rivers, lakes, I can't do it. I don't like being surrounded by water, especially if it's dark."

"Oh," Alec said. "Because it's dirty?"

Magnus had tensed. His usual answer when people asked him about his fear would be something like, 'it's just the feline in me' and they would laugh, move on, no pause in the party. But he wanted to be honest with Alec.

"I almost drowned when I was little," he said. "I think it made me afraid."

Alec sobered instantly. "That's awful Magnus, what happened?"

Magnus debated with himself again, how honest should he be, really?

"Someone tried to hurt me," he said finally, trying to get the words off his tongue quickly. "It was a long time ago."

Alec actually felt the horrified chill run down his spine, and he sat up. "Wait," the chill came through in his voice. "Someone tried…to _drown_ you?"

Magnus wished he'd never mentioned it. "Yes," he shifted uncomfortably.

Alec couldn't believe it, and he stuttered out questions. "Who…why…I mean, are you okay?" He was looking at Magnus as if he were suddenly much more fragile. He was tall, but he was very thin, with small bones. As a kid he probably could have been so easily overpowered. The very thought made Alec's blood boil.

Magnus laughed without humor. "I'm fine Alec. It was a very long time ago. It's been forever since I've even thought about it."

"Are they-

"He's dead." Magnus said simply. "A heart attack."

Alec was glad that the man was dead. He'd never been glad about someone being dead before, but he was glad about this.

He didn't even think about it when he took Magnus' hand. There was no inner turmoil regarding whether or not he should.

He had a harder time deciding what to say. It was pretty clear that Magnus didn't want to go into details about this, and Alec didn't want to push him. But there was something he really wanted to say that wouldn't make Magnus feel like he had to share anything he didn't want to.

"I will never let anyone hurt you." Alec said fiercely. He wanted to voice death threats against these phantom people that might hypothetically try, but he was distracted by Magnus' smile. It was real, not strained at all.

Magnus realized that in this moment, he felt more content and safer than he ever had in his life.

"I know," Magnus said honestly, as he curled his fingers around Alec's hand.

* * *

That night, the contestants were exhausted, and they went straight to sleep with no shenanigans. Panel was the next morning, and it was a difficult transition from beach fun to facing the judges.

But the next day did come, and soon they found themselves lines up in front of Tyra.

Tyra stood to greet them, and also to show the camera her fabulous dress. She knew that people watched this show to look at her after all.

"Hello models." She deadpanned with her fierce face on. "Yesterday you had a photo shoot in which you had to kiss one of your fellow contestants. But after we review these photos, we're going to kiss one of you…goodbye."

Seelia snorted, and Tyra turned to her with a scary tight smile, a warning, before continuing.

"First up, Clary and Aline."

They stepped forward as their photo appeared on the screen.

They were kneeling where the tide was rolling in, and the water was breaking around them as they kissed.

"I think they did a good job showing enthusiasm," Ragnor commented. "I thought the girls would be shy, but really it was the boys that were difficult." He glared pointedly at Jace.

"Well, it's sexy enough." Seelia pronounced. "They play well off one another."

Tyra shook her head to disagree. "I look at this photo, and I see… hoochie."

Jace sucked in his breath, suddenly afraid for Clary. Not the dreaded accusation of hoochiness!

"Hoo-chie?" Clary repeated, making the word sound like something that came with soy sauce on it.

"Yes," Tyra said sadly. "You especially Clary. You are arching your back like you're posing for a men's magazine, rather than creating art."

Clary blinked.

Tyra eagerly stood to demonstrate. "See, this is how you pose for something like Maxim or Sports Illustrated Swimsuit, with the accentuation on the booty," after striking the exaggerated pose, she then slumped her shoulders and folded in on herself. "…And this is how you pose for a women's fashion magazine, so the inferior females don't get all jealous and feel threatened."

Aldertree frowned sternly at Clary and wagged his finger in consternation. "A _disgusting_ display Clarissa, most certainly!" he shrilled, before folding his arms over his chest and turning resolutely away from the offending image.

Her head in her hands, Seelia sighed in exasperation. "They're in bikinis, on a beach, kissing. Do people realize this? I don't find this photo overly raunchy, especially given the circumstances. It's rather beautiful actually."

"Thanks," Aline smiled at her.

Tyra ignored her comment. "Well if you go on in this competition you know what to work on Clary. It's okay to not be sexy all the time. Being vulnerable, and showing that vulnerability. _That's_ beautiful. And Aline you need to stop being so confrontational. Thank you."

"What?" Aline said in confusion.

"I really don't need your back talk today," Tyra said harshly. "You may both take your places. Next, Simon and Alec."

The two boys stepped forward. Simon attempted to study the photo in a professional and detached manner, while Alec avoided looking at it altogether.

"Again with the vampires," Seelia sighed. "What is with this fascination?"

"I think you make a great vampire Simon," Tyra complimented him. "And you make a _fantastic_ Bella Alec."

Alec was pretty sure that wasn't something to be proud of, and he had no idea how he should respond.

"Thank you Tyra," Simon said on both of their behalf.

"Vampires don't blush," Seelia pointed out obstinately.

"Oh give the kid a break," Ragnor said. "I think it can be forgiven given the… position he's in there. And they were so much fun to shoot," he gushed. "Look at that, it's like a real moment, it doesn't look staged at _all_. Even though Simon here pretty much directed the whole thing. He was so _bossy_, it was fantastic." He chuckled in amusement.

"My muse moved me," Simon said, nodding graciously.

_I'll bet,_ Magnus thought to himself as he gritted his teeth. Honestly, you worry about the blonde jock and the skinny geek with glasses makes his move. He was pretty sure Alec had probably been freaking out the entire time, but he couldn't help but be jealous. And slightly pissed that Simon had found it necessary to crawl all over Alec like that.

"I like the space between you," Tyra said. "It's like, 'whoa there danger zone!'"

"I think there's room for someone to squeeze in there my darling _boys_," Aldertree cooed, while waggling his eyebrows and fluttering his eyelashes simultaneously. It was difficult to do both of those things at the same time, and it made him look like he had a rather debilitating twitch. Which perhaps he did.

"Thank you boys," Tyra beamed. "Next, Jace and Raphael."

The two of them stepped forward, and their photo appeared.

Jace was molesting Raphael on top of the camping tent, which had obviously collapsed. The smaller boy looked like he was trying to squirm away, but Jace had a hold on his hat, thus keeping him pinned while he ravaged him.

"Now that's passion." Tyra said approvingly.

"I love how they destroyed that damn tent," Seelia said. "I mean, in the movie it was like 'shall we go in the tent together? Shall we not? Oh angst, oh it's cold, oh we just did it, what does this mean, oh get in the tent, put up the tent, etc. Just do it on _top_ of the tent already."

"I have to agree," Tyra said. "It's better this way."

"Don't let him get away my boy!" Aldertree laughed maniacally, twisting his hands into grasping fists.

Ragnor looked surprised at the general approval of this photo. "This shoot was literally insane." He said. "I'm not even sure anyone wants to hear the back story here."

"I want to hear it," Tyra said. "Because I'll tell you, I reviewed the film for this shoot, and a whole lotta crazy went down."

"It did," Ragnor agreed cautiously. "Well, they were having some trouble getting going, and basically they were being difficult-

"You cannot say I was difficult after that shoot," Raphael interrupted. "I refuse to stand here and listen to that after what I put up with."

"I'm sorry, you're right," Ragnor felt an apology was owed to him. "Jace was difficult. And he started saying something like 'do the girl voice'…can I quote you on that Jace?"

Jace nodded.

"… and after much cajoling, this little one here finally acquiesced. So the problem with this was that Jace kept his eyes pretty much closed, and became completely maddened when Raphael would avoid his advances. So he ran around, running into the cactus…what was it, three times?"

"Four," said Jace solemnly. "I swear it was magnetized to the iron in my body."

"Yes. So he finally pinned Raphael on top of the tent, completely taking it out in the process. And that was what resulted in this moment here." He pointed at the photo on the screen.

"Well I think that's fantastic," Tyra said. "Good job Jace. My only problem with this photo is that Raphael should have tried to look a little less terrified. I mean honestly, you look like you're afraid you're about to be raped or something." She chastised him.

Raphael just stared back at her, expressionless and silent.

"But fairly good job overall," Tyra complimented them. "Next, Isabelle and Magnus."

They stepped forward, and their photo appeared.

"That's so cute," Tyra beamed. "It makes me think of chubby babies and tabby kitties and barbecued ribs."

"One of those things is not like the others," Seelia said.

"I love you two," Ragnor addressed Magnus and Isabelle. "You're fun to work with, because you clearly love being in front of the camera. So the camera loves you back."

"I like how the nurse is more of a participant in this than in the real version," Seelia commented. "In that photo, she basically just slumps over and lets the man do the work. But you look just as thrilled to see your sailor as he is to see you," Seelia nodded to Isabelle.

"Slumping over is not my style," Isabelle assured her.

"This was definitely fun." Magnus agreed.

"Good job," Tyra told them. "Last but probably not least, Maia and Sebastian."

The photo came up on screen. In the midst of a bunch of dancing couples, Maia and Sebastian were kissing, while Sebastian gripped Maia's wrist and with their free hands, knives were pressed against side and throat.

"I love this one," Seelia said. "It's my favorite. There's a very dark sexiness to it. I think it would be even better if you two weren't kissing actually, because I think the sexual tension would still be there and it would be more subtle and yet more powerful. But the assignment was to kiss, so it can't be helped."

"On the contrary," Tyra said, glaring at the other who dared to not so subtly criticize her photo shoot idea. "I think the kissing makes it. It's a nice contrast to the violence. Here we have a couple out on the dance floor that could be having a romantic moment like any other, except that they're also trying to kill eachother. What do you think Ragnor?"

He felt trapped. Tyra supplied his paycheck, but he went clubbing with Seelia and she often supplied other fun things. Both women were waiting for his response.

"Well I think those are both very good arguments. I think the photo could work both ways." Yes, he was wussing out, but that seemed like the best thing to do.

It seemed to satisfy them.

"I have an invisible knife," Aldertree waved the nonexistent object around, baring his teeth in a snarl.

Tyra shuffled the papers in front of her. "Alright models, we're now going to decide who's going to be going home. Please leave the room while the judges deliberate."

They did so, but it wasn't long at all before they were called in again. This time, Tyra stood in front of the judges desk. She was looking at them as if she was about to tell them that one of them was going to die in seven days.

"Ten of you stand before me," she said. "But I only have nine. Photos. In my hands. Since you did your pictures together, I just have head shots today." After a long pause, she revealed the first photo.

"Jace."

He barely suppressed his enthusiasm as he stepped forward to receive his photo.

"Congratulations Jace. You showed us this week that you are a very special and unique person, and that you can show that in a pho-to."

"Thank you," he said quietly, and nodded as she handed him his photo. He went to stand off to the side.

"Simon."

He stepped forward to get his.

"Once again you've shown us that you can take an assignment and do even more than what you're asked. Congratulations Simon, you will continue on in the hopes of becoming America's. Next. Top. Model."

He took his place next to Jace, smiling happily.

Tyra announced the others that were safe.

"Isabelle."

"Sebastian."

"Magnus."

"Maia."

"Alec."

"Raphael."

That left just Clary and Aline, and neither of them were too surprised to be standing there.

"Aline," Tyra began. "From the beginning, you haven't had the right attitude. You're a beautiful girl, and you even had a pretty good photo this week. But you can't make it as a model unless you can be interesting and not so abrasive." And you didn't react nearly enough when we cut off your hair, she wanted to say.

"And you Clary, you're a beautiful girl as well, and last week the judges raved about your photo. But you seem to be relying on sex appeal, and that is not what modeling is about." Tyra shook her head sadly.

"So who stays?"

There was a long pause during which Jace almost chewed his thumbnail off.

Tyra revealed the photo.

"Clary."

Clary breathed a sigh of relief, and took her photo to go join the others.

"Aline, you must return to the model house, and pack your bags."

She just nodded and walked over to the group to say goodbye to people, and then she strode confidently out the door.

* * *

**Another one bites the dust!**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews you guys. It's almost three am right now and I've been up forever, so if these review replies aren't even close to beig coherent, I am sorry.**

**Here we go!**

**Kara_leafgiggle_smileyface3: I hope you liked the chapter, and hurray for you for knowing Simon's references! You should be proud, seriously. :)**

**Championshoes: That's because this story is the most random thing ever. I have no idea what is going to happen until it happens. I'm glad you enjoy that!**

**Alice-Brandon-Whitlock-Cullen: Phew, it's typing usernames like your at this hour that almost kills me!XD Seriously, thx for your review. I'm glad you think it's creative. :)**

**Jiraena: Your english is really really good! Haha, I know Alec is funny as Bella. I'm glad you think he's adorable. I want to cuddle him. :)**

**aiscat93: I'm glad you don't mind the length, sometimes I worry! Also, I'm glad you were amused by Simon/Alec. I thought that was...something. Haha. It blew my mind, and I wrote it.**

**LA-EL-LAS: Well, I hope that was hot. I tried! I'm really glad you liked the chapter. Your reviews brighten my day. :)**

**Miss Alec-Magnus Bane: Haha, your boyfriend? What would he have thought?! I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter. :)**

**Zoe Lightwood: Your compliment made me very happy. I did feel a bit awkward typing some of that, haha!**

**Isabel Chase: I'm so glad you laugh, and I'm sorry I didn't update quicker. :)**

**chairman_meow_pwns_church: I would love it if Alec was Bella too! He's totally real btw. :) Aline does like girls! XD She said no guy was her type! thx again.**

**Lenneth Night: Haha, I love hearing that it's fucking epic!XD I'm sorry I didn't update quick, life has been getting in the way.**

**Pawfoot: Yay, Simon is forgiven! I'm glad you agreed with that choice. And yes, Alec IS Bella at times, nhaha. :)**

**MelloMad: Yay for Mello and Matt! Although I'm honestly more of an L and Light fan myself. thx for the review!**

**katara-alchemist: woot, I'm glad you liked it! Hope you liked this chapter. :)**

**Lyra V Ellison: I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear that you think I do Alec and Magnus justice. They are my favorite couple in the history of ever as well. Haha, Simon is just realizing that Aldertree is after their clothes. XD**

**burning..: Woo! Yes for calling it about Aldertree! I thought it was clear, but a lot of people didn't get it. I guess only know how perverse he truly is, haha. XD And yes, the Aline and Clary part was one of the ditziest things ever (so can't spell right now) And Simon most certainly got into it. And Alec, well, he barely has to try to be Bella. XD thx for reviewing!**

**jazzxbean: thx, I really appreciate that you reviewed. :) Stay awesome yourself. :)**

**wicked lovely gypsy: There'll definately be more of jealou Magnus before this story is told. ;) thx for reviewing, and for your input.**

**Hawt-Tigre: the ending was that Simon was realizing that Aldertree was stealing clothes...and hanging around. ;D thx for commenting.**

**Lunareclipse3: haha, Narnia was ttly in the wardrobe, Aldertree was just guarding it! And thank you so much for reccomending 'Second Rate' I really liked it!**

**I suffer from hubris: haha, I love being called a genius. Perhaps I suffer your affliction as well. :)**

**Lost in thought15: lol, I don't know about Simon and squirrels. It was just something I saw out the window. And yes, I know how wrong all those people are for eachother. I seriously wanna know your playlist now. XD**

**Somecrazyshit: I'm glad you enjoy randomness! I kind of thought Aline was a lesbian in the series actually. I'm glad you liked the fight. Those two are just so rediculous together that I have waaay to much fun with it. XD**

**TotalnightmarE: Yay for the return of the pink hair! And yes, they're hilarious together, haha. thx for reviewing.**

**niniadepapa: yes, Jace enjoyed that. Almost as much as Raphael's girl voice. XD thx for reviewing. And yeah, Clary couldn't be happier about Aline!**

**PanicAtTheDiscoLover:thx for stopping by! Yeah, more Malec is on the way for sure. :)**

**animefan: haha, i'm not obsessed with twilight at all actually. I just find it fun to do some bashing. And I am sorry you think the chapters are too long...this one was only 6100, but the line breaks and the review replies added more. Anyway, thx for the input!**

**magnusbane=puresparklyepicness: I agree with your user name. XD Also, glad you like the chapter titles! They help me to be less confused about what I posted, haha.**

**Tokiohotelnumberonegeorgfan: haha, yay for weird pairings as well as the traditional eh? thx for reviewing!**

**magical-archer: hey. :) Simon realized Aldertree was ttly stealing the clothes and lurking about, haha. thx for reviewing! I'm glad you thought it worked!**

**GivetheDevilHisDue: did I already tell you your username is cool? Cuz it is. Anyway, I'm glad you spewed your tea, baha!XD thx for commenting. :)**

**lelouch: thank you! Lelouch is hot btw!**

**magnusXalec: thanks for commenting. :) I thought he reacted fairly well, considering. hope you liked!**

**nenalata: it's okay to laugh at Raphace. They are tough boys, haha! I know, poor Maia. thx for commenting! :)**

**xocanoodle: aw, I'm glad you think I can do heartwarming and hilarious as well. :) thx.**

**TheLadyPendragon: Your review was so fun! I love sexy evil Sebastian too, haha. Thanks so much for reviewing. :)**

**blankwrite:thanks, I'm sorry it was so long!**

**coolnesskate: haha those couple names are cool. I'm glad you agree with me about Malec. :) thx so much for commenting.**

**redlollipops+Magnus Bane: haha, cool name there. XD**

**NeverFaingNyx: thx for the very kind compliment. :) I hope you liked the chapter.**


	13. Cherries and Weddings

**Hey you guys. :) I am sorry this took this long, but for some reason it was a hard chapter to work out the plot for. I hope you can forgive me. I do not own The Mortal Instruments or America's Next Top Model.**

* * *

In editing, Aline's portfolio was interspersed with a packing montage as she voiced her exit speech. She tried to be gracious and said the usual things about not being what Tyra was looking for, but that she'd learned from the experience and would continue to try to be a model.

Tyra wasn't even sure it was worth putting on television.

"Bad attitude to the end," she mumbled, as she washed her hands of that girl forever.

* * *

Sebastian was feeling too restless to sleep, and he wandered the model house by himself, thinking. He had quite a lot of thinking to do. There had been an elimination- another one down, and he still was not nearly sure enough about his chances of securing the win. After all, everything could progress seemingly perfectly, only to have some bitch snatch victory away at the last second.

He had just padded into the kitchen, when a quiet voice spoke up in the darkness.

"Can it be that you're finally losing sleep over your sins? Somehow, I cannot believe it."

Sebastian's obsidian eyes adjusted quickly to the dark of the kitchen, and he could make out the lone figure sitting at the table. He would have known them by the voice alone of course. The pleasant little trill of the R's was unmistakable. "I didn't know you were up Raphael."

"It's night. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been forced to stay up days of late. I thought that would tire you."

"This schedule is exhausting at times," Raphael admitted. "But I would miss the quiet of this time." He paused a moment before flashing white teeth in the dark. "…And I get hungry when the sun goes down." His mouth was slightly stained from red juice, and he licked a drop of it from his fingers.

_You're eating a popsicle, _Sebastian said in his head, marveling at the realization. But of course he stopped himself before he said it aloud. Raphael would surely mock him for stating the obvious. 'Excellent powers of observation Sebastian.' Or 'how astute.' Sebastian wasn't going to toss him the opportunity for a line like that.

He could, however, observe without comment. Raphael was sucking on a popsicle, and seemed to be enjoying it. His main focus was the tip, but he occasionally ran his tongue up the length of it…juuuust like that-

"Did you want something?"

Sebastian wasn't sure what to think of that _tone_. It wasn't casually disdainful per usual. He couldn't think of a reason for Raphael to laugh at him, so perhaps the dark haired boy was just on the verge of coughing, or choking.

"What could I possibly want at this hour?"

Raphael shrugged. "A popsicle? I bought a whole box. You can have one."

"No. I'm trying to lose a few pounds." He was going to be a model, damn it.

"Suit yourself and melt away then." Raphael bit down on the icy treat, and Sebastian winced- because it was probably cold for his teeth.

"You're really missing out too," Raphael got up to throw the wrapper and the stick away. "…I was going to let you have my cherry."

Sebastian was immediately jolted out of his musings. "_What_?" he just managed not to sputter.

"I said I was going to let you have the cherry one. The best flavor."

"Oh, well, I wouldn't want to…take your cherry. The cherry."

"Of course you wouldn't." There was that flash of white teeth again.

Sebastian thought that Raphael was very smiley this evening. Suspiciousl_y_ cheery actually. Damn, the little bastard was up to something.

"I think you should get some sleep, you seem distracted this evening."

Oh yes, the smarmy little fucker was definitely far too pleased with himself about something. The only question was what.

"…And perhaps when you get some sleep you'll be more focused, since up to this point you've hopelessly failed at operation 'B'."

Sebastian stood calmly. He wasn't going to get upset and he wasn't going to start yelling. "Perhaps you're right Raphael. And perhaps if you ever slept, you could actually be of use during the day instead of bitching and grouching around like it's that time of the month."

"I am pretty tired suddenly," Raphael yawned, his body shivering in a stretch. "I'll probably head up soon. Buenos noche, mi amigo."

"You..." Sebastian trailed off, grumbling as he abruptly turned to pad out of the kitchen. His brain couldn't summon any good insults at this hour.

That cute goodnight had absolutely nothing to do with it.

* * *

The contestants that got a good night's sleep were grateful for it, because the next morning, Tyra greeted them at the breakfast table, informing them that they should go get dressed for a big day. They did so, and met her in the colorful main sitting room.

"Hello models," Tyra grinned. "I have an amazing surprise for you today. And it's right behind this door."

The contestants heard movement, and some became a little concerned that Tyra was about to unleash some beast on them that they'd have to do battle with.

"Some of you have visitors!" she beamed. "They are the first and probably not the last visitors of the season. Hopefully, those lucky enough to have a visitor will enjoy a day with friends or family."

Tyra opened the door, and one by one, the guests entered.

Clary's eyes widened when she saw the man with light blue eyes.

"Luke!" she exclaimed, shocked to see him here.

He seemed embarrassed about the camera, but he smiled warmly at Clary and hugged her. "Hello Clary. Your mother wanted so badly to come, but she had an art opening and couldn't skip it. Hopefully you're not too disappointed."

"Of course not, I'm glad to see you." she hugged him again. Truthfully, she would rather see Luke than her bossy mother that totally upstaged her in looks all the time.

"Jocelyn got an opening? That's good to hear," Simon said sincerely.

Clary rolled her eyes at the Simon's habit calling her mother 'Jocelyn'. Honestly, sometimes she felt like Simon was friends with her because of her mother. He was so obviously crushing.

Then, Simon noticed the skinny kid with pink tipped hair.

"Eric?" he blinked. "Is that you?"

"No dude, it's the Easter bunny. What the hell." The boy spared a glance for Simon, but then went back to mugging for the camera.

"I mean," Simon amended. "I knew it was you, but… you're here?"

"You think I'd miss a chance to be on television? I can't believe you got this gig, I mean, _you_." He shook his head at the seeming impossibility. "Plus, I haven't seen you in a while."

Meanwhile, a little dark haired figure stepped forward, his head tilted back to look up at the taller people.

"Max?" Izzy's mouth dropped open. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see you and Alec and Jace," the boy said seriously, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

"Mom and dad let you come by yourself?" Alec 's mouth twisted in disbelief.

"Sure," Max replied. "I mean, they dropped me off, but they're going vacationing in Hawaii."

"When are they _not_ vacationing?" Jace questioned. "Hey Max. I've missed hanging out with you."

Max brightened at Jace's comment, and stood up a little straighter. "I may have missed you guys, a little."

_Oh fuck no,_ Sebastian had started crossing his fingers as soon as he found out there were visitors, and began praying to God to forgive his sins and just not let it be-

"Jonathon!" a tall, broad shouldered man with distinctive white hair stalked into the room. "You've forced me to come talk sense into you in person, since you oh so rudely hung up during the middle of our telephone conversation." He was tapping his foot, and obviously barely containing a fury that was only hinted at in his midnight eyes. He was very clearly ready to punch a hole in someone's chest.

"Father," Sebastian said, suddenly exhausted. "Do you realize you are on television?"

"Do you really think I would care about that Jonathon? I have no qualms about reaching the entire world," he pointedly nodded to the camera. "Hello world, it is Valentine Morgenstern, your future savior and leader, speaking to you now."

"Jesus," Sebastian muttered under his breath.

"Very nearly," Valentine agreed.

Jace had tried to slink out of sight upon Valentine's arrival, but he was spotted.

"Come along Jonathons," Valentine waved a hand as he turned. "There is much to discuss." Then he noticed Luke.

"Hello Valentine." Luke's greeting was cool.

"Hello Lucian." Valentine responded, his tone equally distant. "I see you're spending time with Clarissa."

"Yes, actually we were leaving," Luke began ushering Clary towards the door.

Clary protested. "Wait, Luke, what about Jace-

He gave flashed her a look that clearly said, 'please not now.' So reluctantly, she followed Luke and left Jace in the intimidating man's clutches.

* * *

Eric had insisted that Simon show him the accommodations, and he was currently flopped on Sebastian's bed, observing the cracks in the ceiling.

"You know," Simon tried, "that's not my bed. That's Sebastian's."

"So?" Eric shrugged. "It's not as if I feel the need to cuddle up in your sheets dude. I didn't miss you _that_ much."

"Okay," Simon sighed. "He just might kill you, so I've warned you."

"Noted. But you forget my purple belt in karate, I'm sure I could take him."

Simon felt like it was weird seeing Eric here. It seemed like it had been a long time even though it had only been a couple weeks. He had trouble thinking of things to say to him.

"Why are you wearing my shirt?" Simon recognized the t-shirt with the dancing guitar playing chicken on it.

"This?" Eric looked down at himself. "I borrowed it because it's cool. Oh, and I hope you don't mind but I also borrowed forty bucks from your room. I needed it for my date with Sheila, a real ten. I'm sure you understand." He seemed as if he didn't doubt Simon would.

Simon made a mental note to hide his money better next time. He had been sure that Eric wouldn't find it when it was sewn into the mattress like that, but he seemed to have gotten at it anyway.

"Sheila Barbarino?" he thought of the girl that had been in their science class.

"Yeah, we've been going out for three weeks now. I met her because we were both working the sky ride at the zoo. She's got the most rockin bod." Eric sighed happily.

"That's nice," Simon said blandly. "You do realize that she could hear you say that?"

"Oh, yeah. She'd love that," Eric seemed to know where the cameras were at all times, and he turned to smile at one. "Hello Sheila, you are the love of my life babe."

Raphael padded into the room as quietly as a cat, frowning to himself.

"Hey dude," Eric nodded to him.

Raphael ignored him, as he climbed the ladder to hop into the top bunk. He pulled the covers up to his chin. Since many of his friends were safer if they avoided showing their faces on television, he had no visitors. That meant it was a good time for sleeping.

Eric bounced on the bed a bit, before he got tired after about five seconds and sat again. "You know man; here you are with this great platform. You better have been trying to get our band's name out there."

"Last time I heard, our band didn't have a name." Simon pointed out.

"I said to call it Lawn Chair Crisis," Eric said.

"Yeah, I know you said that Eric. But what does that even mean? I tried to picture a lawn chair crisis, and I just keep seeing some old lady that's ticked off because her lawn chair faded in the sun or something. Do we really need to be associated with that?"

"Matt was down with Lawn Chair Crisis."

"Matt was stoned when you suggested it." Simon said stubbornly. "And so were you, now that I think of it. I still say we go with Sea Vegetable Conspiracy."

"And that makes so much more sense how?"

"It doesn't have to make sense, but it is intriguing. I mean, imagine if there _were_ a sea vegetable conspiracy? We'd be doomed.

Eric tried to wrap his head around that for a moment. "Dude, how about Rock Solid Panda?"

"Now that's just stupid."

"No, just think for a second. If there were a rock solid panda, we'd be even more doomed. It'd be indestructible, and it would-

"What? Eat all the bamboo in the world?"

"It would kill people by swinging a club, like that troll in Harry Potter."

Simon blinked. "Now THAT is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my ENTIRE-

"DIOS MIO!" Raphael yelled, sitting up in his bed. "I'm trying to sleep, and instead I'm losing brain cells listening to you two!"

Simon didn't think he'd ever heard Raphael raise his voice like that before. He was usually fairly quiet and subdued during the day. Perhaps Sebastian's dad had really pissed him off. Simon thought he had seen the man refer to him as 'a little pool boy.'

"Dude, chill." Eric said, raising his eyebrows at Raphael. "But since you've brought up the subject, what is there to do around here besides sleep? How are you surviving without videogames? Do you spend all day, like, playing five fingered friendless fandango? Galloping the old lizard?"

Raphael stared at him.

"I never would have expected this judging by your appearance, but you seem much more intelligent when you're not speaking." Raphael put the pillow over his head, curling his legs up to make another attempt at achieving sleep.

* * *

Clary was enjoying lunch at a restaurant patio with Luke. He seemed nervous about something, but she chalked it up to camera anxiety.

"How did you know that man?" Clary questioned, taking a bite of pancakes. Breakfast for lunch was the best.

Luke took her hand. "There's something you should know Clary, and I'm not sure it's right that I be the one to tell you, but I do think you need to know the truth."

"Okay," Clary sat forward eagerly. She wanted to know the truth.

"That man," Luke continued. "Was your father. Your mother left him before you were born. So, your father is not, in actuality, dead."

Clary blinked. "Why would mom lie about that?"

"Because, sadly, he is not a good man. She was afraid that if you knew your father was alive, you'd want to find him, and she didn't want him to find you."

"Oh," Clary said. "Okay."

Now Luke was the one blinking. "You're not upset about this?"

Clary shrugged. "It doesn't mean anything, that he's my biological father. You've always been the father figure in my life, Luke. I didn't like him on sight, honestly."

Luke seemed to be in disbelief that the revelation had gone over so smoothly. Sometimes teenagers were unpredictable.

"What's new with you and mom?" Clary asked, taking a sip of lemonade.

He looked up quickly. "New?"

"Yeah, new. What have you guys been up to?"

He coughed, and fiddled with his napkin. "Well…there's something I wanted to tell you Clary. But I'm not sure if now is the time. I don't want to distract you from this competition, and I feel like so much big news all at once might be-

"Tell me," she demanded, immediately on edge. "Is everything okay? Is the bookstore doing alright? Is mom getting commissions? Is-

"Clary," he held up a hand. "I'm sorry, everything is fine. I didn't mean to make you worried. It's just that," he took a deep breath. "Your mother and I…"

She waited, not patiently. "What?" she blurted.

"…I asked your mother to marry me, and she said yes." He said in a rush. "I love your mother very much. I have for years. I didn't expect her to feel the same way but…" he trailed off, smiling. Then he remembered where he was and his expression turned anxious again. "I hope you're not upset Clary. I love you like my own daughter, and the last thing I want to do is make you unhappy. What do you think?"

It took her a few moments to absorb the news. She had no idea that Luke and her mother were anything more than friends, but she didn't think there could be anyone better for either one of them.

"I think it's great," she smiled. "Really. When is the wedding?"

He laughed, partly from amusement, but mostly from relief. "You don't know how glad I am to hear that we have your blessing. The wedding isn't for a while, perhaps even next year when money isn't as tight. We didn't want to rush into anything and upset you-

"Luke," Clary interrupted him. "I'm not upset at all. I'm so happy for you both, and I'd be glad to have you as my dad."

Clary thought she saw tears in his eyes, and when he spoke his voice was rough. "Thank you Clary. I'm… honored that you feel that way."

"So don't hold off the wedding for me," she insisted. "Make an honest woman of her."

He flushed with embarrassment. "Ah, well, I'll have to talk to Jocelyn-I mean, your mother."

"You'll work it out," Clary said certainly. "It will be amazing."

He smiled. "Yes, I think it will."

* * *

In another little restaurant, darkened and indoors, Jace and Sebastian were not nearly as certain of amazing things occurring in their futures. Across from them in the blood red booth, Valentine was droning on.

"…And so, I decided that if you both were to get along, we could unite and be unstoppable. Of course, I'm truly the unstoppable one. You two are more like necessary pawns-

"But the pawn can one day be a queen," Sebastian said, distractedly trying to pick up an ice cube with his straw.

"Sadly," Valentine muttered, his expression stony.

Jace was glad he got the spot on the outside of the booth. He was rather nervous and about ready to bolt at any moment.

"You are sunburned Jonathon," Valentine said.

Both of them looked at each other, not sure who he was talking to.

"You," Valentine said, kicking Sebastian in the shin under the table. "From now on, when you two are together I will refer to _you_ as Jonathon prime."

Sebastian cursed himself for the hiss of pain when he'd been kicked. He hadn't been on his guard, and had shown weakness. He drew his legs up under him.

"I guess I got a touch sunburned at the beach," he said neutrally. "It's not terrible." It was just a bit of unfortunate peeling on his nose at this point.

Valentine shook his head. "Such white skin is aesthetically pleasing, but not particularly practical. I will remember this if I ever find a suitable host for the next model."

"Host?" Jace questioned. Surely he didn't mean…

"Mother," Valentine said. "A carrier for a Jonathon."

Jace's face twisted in disgust.

"I know Jonathon," Valentine mistook his expression for disdain of possible 'hosts'. It is difficult to find one that is suitable. That's why it's too bad your mother is dead."

Jace flinched as if struck. He wanted to say something, he wanted to get away. But he felt helpless again, as he had been as a child. It had been a long time since he'd thought about his mother and father.

Valentine seemed to notice his discomfort. "You are too sensitive Jonathon. It is your main flaw, and your most dangerous weakness. It is alright to pity others, in fact you should, because they are beneath you. But those that feel empathy deserve pity themselves. "

"That's not true," Jace said, gaining confidence. "It's good to feel for people, to love. It makes you human." He met Valentine's eyes. "I even loved you, but I'm not going to sit here any longer. I'm sorry." He stood, and began to walk away. Hesitantly, he turned back. "Goodbye."

_Ugh,_ Sebastian thought to himself. _Now all the focus will be on yours truly._

Valentine laughed harshly at Jace's departure. "What do you think about that Jonathon prime? You're not even capable of love, I know. And that will serve you well. But you cheapen yourself by fraternizing with people who are not pure like you are. People like Maia, Magnus, Raphael-

Sebastian stood. "Shut up." He said quietly.

Valentine was clearly shocked, but he recovered in a moment. "How dare you," his voice had gone quiet and dangerous. "How dare you speak to me disrespectfully? Something has gone very wrong with you, Jonathon prime. You think you can just push me away? You're delusional. You need me."

Sebastian made a move to leave the booth, when Valentine reached out and grabbed his wrist.

"Let go of me."

"Listen to me," Valentine purred the words, even as his hold tightened on Sebastian's wrist. "You know that you need me. I have plans of greatness that you could share. And you are not going to give that up for the sleazy existence that you're living. For that little brown skinned gutter snipe. For absolutely _nothing_."

The bone crushing grip nearly made Sebastian cry out, but he bit it back. Often he wondered if his father knew his own strength. He strongly suspected he did.

Using his other hand, he managed to pull free.

"I can't believe," he said. "That I listened to you for so long. I'm glad I came to my sense, before I became something unforgiveable."

Unlike Jace, when he walked out, he didn't say goodbye.

* * *

Alec was glad to see Max, but the visit made him anxious. Seeing Max reminded him of his parents, and of his promise to Magnus.

_Oh god._

And now that everyone but he and Isabelle had left the room for various adventures(or like Maia, a good sulk in her room) Max was meeting Magnus.

"Hello," Magnus bent down so Max wouldn't have to crane his neck. "It's good to meet the third Lightwood. I'm Magnus."

Max held out his hand for a handshake. "Nice to meet you," he wanted to behave in a grown up way, so Magnus wouldn't think of him like a little kid.

Amused, Magnus shook the outstretched hand. "I can see that Alec gets his manners from you."

"I try to tell him," Max agreed. "Sometimes he doesn't listen though."

"He's stubborn," Magnus agreed.

Alec choked back a protest, so he ended up making an odd strangled noise.

"Well that was attractive," Isabelle commented. "Anyway, how was Disneyworld Max?" she took a seat in one of the large pink armchairs.

"It was alright," Max said. "I'm a little old for that though." He sat in one of the chairs as well, and Magnus sat on the couch.

"Sit," Magnus said to Alec.

Alec arranged himself carefully on the couch, so that he was as far from Magnus as possible. He clenched his hands in his lap.

"I don't think you're ever too old for Disneyworld," Magnus said to Max. "I'd love it. They have amazing weddings there. I might even have mine there someday."

Alec started having a coughing fit. Isabelle rolled her eyes at his antics.

"Alec, you're not even eating anything." she accused.

"I swallowed wrong," he choked out between coughs.

Magnus looked more concerned than Isabelle, and reached out to pat his back. "Are you alright?"

Alec leapt to his feet. "Gotta go get water," he gasped and darted into the kitchen.

"What grade are you in?" Magnus asked Max after Alec's hasty exit.

"Third right?" Isabelle spoke up.

"I graduated fourth," Max replied, glaring at her. "I'll be going into fifth after the summer."

"Ugh, fourth grade was a weird year for me. It was tough." Magnus winced at the thought of his ten year old self.

"Really?" Max asked. "Sometimes it was…tough." He thought of the kids that sometimes made fun of him for being more into reading and writing than sports. He sometimes wished he was more like Alec, who as well as being really smart, was good at every sport.

Isabelle was too, but she was a girl.

"Yes. It gets much better though." Magnus assured him.

"How old are you?" Max was really curious.

"Twenty," Magnus replied.

"Wow," Max's eyes widened, because that was pretty impressive.

"And Alec is eighteen, so he's legal." Isabelle commented. "I loved fourth grade, although I had unfortunate hair. Our brother is totally stalling in the kitchen, by the way."

Max was embarrassed that at the very mention of a kitchen, his stomach growled. His parents had expected that he'd be fed here.

"I heard that," Isabelle said. "Are you hungry?"

"Kind of," he admitted.

"I'll help Alec bring food and drinks in," Magnus stood. "What terrible hosts we are, neglecting our guest. Be right back."

Alec swore to himself at Magnus' words, because he had been listening from the kitchen. Bringing food back meant returning.

He wasn't sure why this was so difficult. Why couldn't he just relax, like a normal person?

"What does he eat?" Magnus asked Alec as he entered. "Pizza? I think we've got a few frozen ones, much as I hate to serve frozen f-

"Magnus." Alec cut in.

"Yes?" Magnus paused in his rummaging through the freezer.

"_Disney weddings_?!" Alec stage whispered.

"I like the fairytale factor, what can I say?" he shrugged and smiled. "So these'll take…twelve minutes, okay. Now for drinks." He called out to the other room. "Izzy, Max, sprite, coke or orange juice?"

"Sprite," Isabelle said.

"Coke," Max called back.

"Our parents don't let him drink soda," Alec protested.

"Then he's sure to enjoy it." Magnus said.

"But-

"Alec," Magnus put his hands on Alec's tense shoulders. "Chill. Out. All is well."

"It is?" Alec asked, dazed by the feel of Magnus' hands gripping his shoulders and by the focus of those green-gold eyes.

"Yes. I swear to you on the life of my favorite pair of pants. Relax."

"Okay," Alec sighed, as Magnus' fingers began to knead his shoulders and then slid to work the tension out of his neck and upper back.

Alec shivered from the buzz of how good that felt. His head fell back, and his lips parted in a groan of pleasure. He relaxed so much in fact that he had to remember to keep his legs under him. "Okay," he breathed again.

"Coke?" Magnus asked.

"Hmm, yes." Alec said. Everything Magnus said sounded wonderful. How had he not noticed this before?

"Good boy," Magnus grinned and stepped back. "Let's go bring out the drinks," Magnus grabbed a bag of cherries and put them in a bowl for snacking. Hey, he could provide something nutritious.

Alec was still a bit out of it, but he managed not to spill anything.

"Pizza will be ready in ten minutes," Magnus informed the others.

"That sounds good," Max said.

"Doesn't it?" Alec agreed. Magnus continued to say the most amazing things he'd ever heard in his life.

Isabelle took a couple of cherries, biting them and leaving the stems. "Oh, Alec, you should show Magnus what you can do with these," she waved a cherry, before popping it in her mouth.

Alec snapped out of his loopy state. "What?"

"I said do the cherry trick," she repeated.

"Oh yeah," Max put in. "That's so cool. I want to see."

"No," Alec stuttered. "It's dumb."

"No it's not, it's cool." Max insisted. "Come on, I came all the way here."

Alec couldn't believe the way they were ganging up on him, looking so ridiculously hopeful and puppy-eyed.

"Fine," he said finally. "I don't know if I can even do this anymore."

With that disclaimer, he popped one of the cherries in his mouth, stem still on.

All eyes were focused on him, and after what was perhaps thirty seconds, Alec removed the stem from his mouth.

"There," he said, showing them that he'd tied the stem in a knot with his tongue.

"I don't know how you do that," Max thought this was an impressive ability.

"So talented," Isabelle said. "Don't you think Magnus?"

Magnus stood. "That's…incredible. I'm just going to check on the pizza," it was his turn to quickly leave the room.

"It's only been five minutes," Isabelle pointed out.

"Oh, you know, labels lie dear," Magnus called from the kitchen, sounding a bit flustered.

_Huh_, Alec thought to himself. _Maybe I grossed him out._

* * *

**Hello readers, thanks for reading! I am sorry this took so long, sincerest apologies.**

**Thank you to:**

**Xocanoodle: Im glad you liked the things I take from the books, and that you took the time to rave a bit. It really made me smile. :)**

**Aiscat93: Haha, I'm glad you liked Jace's cactus antics. And that you see a pairing in your future! That sounds interesting! :D**

**CloudedMindX: thx so much for your input. I am very glad to hear that you enjoyed Jace and Clary's shenanigans. You write them so well yourself. As for Simon and Izzy…I love them. ;)**

**+Magnus Bane: Haha, I agree with you, on both counts. :)**

**PanicAtTheDiscoLover: yay! If I can make one fangirl squee, my work here is done. You don't know how happy your compliment made me, you are too kind. :)**

**Championshoes: Haha! Aldertree is glad to have a fan! He'd like you better if you were a boy though, and you're probably not. XD thx so much.**

**In-the-fire: thx! Magbelle, haha sounds funny. I'm really glad you liked that and Maia/Sebastian's shoot. :)**

**Katara-Alchemist: Ah, thank you. I know what you mean. Partly, I think this is how crazy Jace would be if he couldn't vent by killing things. But your suggestion is noted, I definitely will try to angst him a bit.**

**MelloMad: I'm glad you like the bathroom scene! It took me fifty years to write that, haha. And I know, L and Light is hot. :)**

**Fly Away Dreams: Aw, thank you so much! I hope you liked the chapter, and I am really glad you like my writing. Compliments like yours make it more than worth it. :)**

**burningImpossiblyBright: You leave such wonderful, long reviews! They make me so happy. :) I know, Aline was a sitting duck, really. I liked her. But Tyra didn't. And LOL I was wondering if anybody was gonna call me out on volleyball fouls and was like, 'nah.' But you did! Baha. :)**

**TheLadyPendragon: Haha, I'm glad you liked Aldertree's extreme perving. :) He enjoys his job. Thx!**

**MagnusSpark: I love your devoted campaigning for Alec here! Nobody else is championed the way he is. :) Hehe, Raphael+Sebastian love. I'm glad you think it's cute. Thx so much for reviewing, I love your reviews and appreciate so much that you've reviewed every chapter. :)**

**magnusXalec: haha, glad you think it's funny. Yes, Aldertree is a scary scary man. :D thx SO much for reviewing.**

**staceyPontmercy: thx so much! I try to keep it up, and at a decent rate. Sometimes it doesn't quite work out.**

**Angel of Sparta: As for your request…;) thx for reviewing.**

**Kara_leafgiggle_smileyface: Yay! Glad you thought tha was cute and liked the book details. Hope you continue to like it!**

**Lunareclipse: OF COURSE I watch death note! And the stair scene was the most blatant fangirl bait I've ever seen! I was screaming at the screen! Haha. Thanks so much for your review. :) Oh, and I like Jary! Haha.**

**Magickless Sorceress: haha! I was sitting here trying the eyebrow/eyelash thing too, and then I laughed at myself. Thanks for the review!**

**Piratelizard101: I love Avatar. :) And yes, Magnus wanted to beat Simon's face in but…he did kiss Isabelle, so how much can he really complain? XD**

**Perdyprincess: I'm glad you liked their shoot, it was fun to write. Thx for reviewing. :)**

**Isabel Chase: I'm glad you're enjoying the tidbits from the books. I'm sure there will be another opportunity for jealous Magnus…I think he was jealous of a cherry stem this time. :D**

**LA-EL-LAS: thanks so much, you're too nice. :)**

**TheRealOriginalSammy: I'm glad jace makes you laugh! He's off his rocker but cute. And yes, Malec takes awkwardness to new levels at times. :)**

**To lazy to login: haha, I want to work in more Malec action but those damn cameras are in the way. If you can think of a possible situation, tell me in your review or a msg please! And thx so much for reviewing. :)**

**GiveTheDevilHisDue: Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed the Brokeback mtn summary. Funny thing: I've never seen the movie. I read the quotes on IMBD and got the general gist. Oh, and I watched animated bunnies act out the plot in thirty seconds. One of the funniest things I've ever seen. XD thx for reviewing.**

**Zenykat: I'm glad you love Malec! I love them too. Thx. :)**

**HazelingUpTheDay: Thank you so much for your wonderful review, and trust me, I'm fangirling myself here. :)**

**Alice Misa: Thank you for your nice review. :) Im glad you think this crazy situation works.**

**Anonymous: Yes, he is indeed an insane pedofile, and we all love him for that! Haha, thx so much for reviewing. :)**


	14. Summoning Pigeons

**Hello! :) I'm sorry this took so long, but I really put a lot of effort into this. Here's two chapters at once for you guys! I hope that's not confusing for people that don't have an account. This one is really fluffy and the next one is much zanier.**

**EDIT: THERE IS ANOTHER CHAPTER AFTER THIS GUYS. Apparently some people didn't get the alert about it, sorry. :(**

**I don't own these lovely characters or the hilarious show. That honor goes to Cassandra Clare and Tyra Banks, respectively.**

**Thank you so much for the wonderful support for this story. :)**

* * *

"Hey guys," Jace said to Max, Alec and Isabelle as he burst through the front door. He quickly turned to lock the door behind him.

"Are you being followed?" Isabelle raised an eyebrow.

"You never know," Jace said. "He did find me here. Is Clary here? Is that pizza?"

"No." Alec told him. "And yes."

Jace flopped on the couch between Alec and Magnus, and grabbed a piece of pizza. "She'd love to meet you Max," he took a bite.

Magnus glared at Jace out of the corner of his eye, trying to move him with his mind. His attempt was, sadly, unsuccessful.

"What have you been doing?" Max asked Jace.

"Lots of crazy stuff Max, lots of crazy stuff. Some of it I'd rather not explain or even think about too much. Have you been in the pool? It's great."

"I haven't," Max said. "I've got trunks in my suitcase though."

"Then that is definitely next on the agenda," Jace decreed. "How are you going to get home anyway, if the 'rents have abandoned you for hula skirts?"

"Your grandma was nice. She's going to pick me up and let me stay at her house for awhile." Max smiled. "She said I'm welcome."

"She's replacing you already Jace," Isabelle sipped her soda.

Jace took it in stride. "No, Grandma Imogen loves me. She made me the man I am today."

"Now now," Magnus said. "It's not fair to level accusations at a woman who isn't here to defend herself."

Jace was just about fed up with Magnus Bane and the way he smiled at his own jokes in such a self satisfied way. The tall boy seemed to have some problem with him, and looked for every opportunity to get a little dig in, as if he didn't think Jace would notice.

He noticed.

"I guess it's true that my grandma shouldn't get all the credit…or blame," Jace said lightly. "These guys here," he gestured to Max and Isabelle and slung an arm around Alec's shoulder. "-Were my good friends when I really needed them. Yes, Izzy, even you."

"Aw, I'm touched. I do believe I can take credit for the strong feminine influence that is so apparent." Isabelle did enjoy their banter.

"…Max was just three at the time, though he was the coolest preschooler of all time."

Max tried to remember the time when Jace first came. It was weird to think that Jace had been only a little older than Max was now when he first met him. He'd seemed so old.

"And Alec here," Jace went on, squeezing his shoulder. "We have had _so_ many good times. I do fondly recall those barefoot summer days when we wrestled on the trampoline. When was that?"

"Uh, a couple weeks ago you mean?" Alec said.

"Exactly," Jace said. "I had to practice my martial arts; and you were such a good sport about that, and have been throughout the years." Jace clapped him on the shoulder once more, and glanced at Magnus.

Oh yes, he was no longer smiling. His arms were folded across his chest, and Jace could tell from the tension in his body that Magnus was about ready to punch him. In simpler terms he was pissed.

Served him right.

"Well, I'm going to go get ready to go in the pool. Who's coming?" Jace asked.

Max and Izzy volunteered, and the trio left the room.

Alec relaxed a bit on the couch. He smiled gratefully at Magnus. "Thanks for being so great. Max really liked you."

"He's a nice kid." Magnus said, digging his fingers into the turquoise cushion.

"I know."

Alec's smile faded. "I'm worried about Jace though. I think he's upset."

"Oh, he seems just dandy."

"No, he's upset about that visit."

"And _how_ do you know this exactly?" Magnus crossed one leg over the other, jerking his foot irritably.

"He's my best friend, I can just tell. I'll have to ask him if he's okay."

Magnus just couldn't stand it anymore, when he heard the click of the glass door signaling the trio had gone outside, he spoke up. "He was very touchy with you."

"That's just how Jace is sometimes Magnus; he doesn't mean anything by it."

_I think he means to piss me off_, Magnus silently disagreed. He was a jealous person by nature, and he wanted sweet, intelligent, cherry stem tying Alec to be his. He didn't want Jace putting his hands on him.

Alec didn't know exactly why, but he could tell that Magnus was upset about something. Alec reached over and squeezed his hand. "I do appreciate how nice you were."

"Oh Alec, it's not a big deal," Magnus brightened a bit.

"It was to me," Alec disagreed. "And I bet to Max too." Alec stood. "Do you want to play chess? It'll pass the time."

"Sure," Magnus said. "But you should know that I'm going to win dear. I hope you can handle defeat."

"We'll see," Alec smiled and went to get the game.

* * *

That evening, Clary said goodbye to Luke, and Simon said goodbye to Eric. To Jace and Sebastian's relief, Valentine hadn't returned after their little outing. He was probably out harassing the homeless to 'join The Circle'. Or perhaps he was 'summoning' pigeons.

Imogen arrived to pick up Max, and Jace had to say hello to her on the porch.

"I can't do cameras." She said simply. Her steel grey hair was knotted in a flawless bun.

"That's okay grandma," he said easily. "You'd confuse the viewers; they'd wonder why such a beautiful lady wasn't competing." He pecked her on the cheek.

"You're a silly boy," she shook her head, but she gave him a hug. "Come along Maxwell, before these people have an influence on you," She called.

"I think I've already been influenced," Max smiled. He came to the door carrying his duffel bag. He had very much enjoyed himself.

"Goodbye Jace," Imogen nodded to him. "Good luck with winning this…thing."

"Thanks grandma."

"Remember to be a gentleman. And keep your dignity."

"I'll remember." He really hoped she never, ever watched this show.

He waved until they were down the street and couldn't see. It was nice to have family.

He finally got to chat with Clary back in their room. She looked very pretty in the soft, warm light that bathed their mostly mango colored room. She looked pretty all of the time though.

"Hi Clary."

"Hello Jace." she was sitting with her legs folded under her on her bed, sketching something.

He tried to lean over to see what she was drawing. "What are you drawing?" he asked, when she angled it away so he couldn't see.

"Nothing," she looked embarrassed.

"Me?" he guessed.

Now she just looked exasperated. "Why do you always assume that?" _And why are you always right?_

"Can I see it?"

"No, not until I'm done." She bent her head back to her drawing.

"You know, since you're drawing me, I could model for you. I am an aspiring model actually."

"Is that so?" she smiled despite herself.

"I could just stretch out like this," he flopped on the bed. "-and take off my clothes, and then you wouldn't have to try very hard to create something beautiful. I could be your muse. And then like 150 years later when I'm old, some deep sea explorers can find the drawing and I can gush about what a dish I was."

"You're very odd," Clary commented, erasing a line that wasn't quite right. "You know what's funny? I have drawn naked people from live models before."

Jace sat up. "Really?"

"Yes, at a summer art course I begged my mom to let me take. It's funny how you get used to it so quickly. Nudity becomes uninteresting after about ten minutes."

This talk of naked people made Jace think about Clary naked. He just couldn't help it. He didn't think he would ever find that uninteresting. "Were they attractive people?" he asked curiously.

"There was a girl that was pretty, and a young guy that was good looking. But there was also a wrinkly old man with a beer belly and a saggy middle-aged lady that was hairy all over.

"Thanks for the images Clary."

"No problem."

Clary was trying to figure out how to show the way the light played off Jace's golden hair. She wasn't sure she could do it justice. But the most important part was getting the expression in his eyes; there was something very hopeful and youthful that shone there-despite the tough childhood she knew he'd had. Clary had always been eager to grow up, but Jace made her appreciate that there was so much ahead of them.

It was difficult to focus on the sketchpad when those eyes were so focused on her. She felt like he was picturing her naked.

Well, fair was fair.

A few minutes later, she sat on his bed to show him the drawing. His face lit up.

"That's amazing, it looks just like me." He studied the drawing. "You're very talented."

"Sucking up are you?"

"Not at all," he insisted. "There's nothing that I can say that would be an exaggeration actually. You're a goddess, an angel, a vision, and absolutely amazing. And that doesn't even begin to cover it."

From any other boy that would probably have sounded ridiculous, but from Jace, it was so sincere that she couldn't help but melt a little. She leaned in to kiss him. His mouth was warm, and the roughened pads of his fingers framing her face made her close her eyes in enjoyment.

Jace traced the curves of her ears and slid his fingers into her hair, as pencil-sketch Jace looked on, wishing for a pencil sketch Clary to join him on the lonely piece of white paper.

* * *

"Hello models," Tyra greeted them at the mansion the next morning. "This competition is about realizing your dreams. But today, I want to share with you something that has always been _my_ dream. As you may know, I've acted in several highly successful movies, and I loved it. But I have always wanted to be a producer. So you're going to help me accomplish one of my dreams, because instead of a photo shoot, you're going to be making a movie!" she beamed. "I have the parts assigned, but a lot of it will be improvised by all of you. I must say, the costumes are just fabulous."

The contestants were intrigued. This actually sounded like it might be fun.

"The movie is going to be taking place in a fantasy realm, and you will get to be fantasy creatures, or characters you would find in a fairytale. Are you excited?"

"Yes!" they yelled.

"I've always wanted to be a fictional character!" Jace exclaimed.

"That's good," Tyra smiled. "Me too. We're going to be filming in California, and we'll be staying there for the next few days. So you all need to prepare for your first cross country model trip."

Magnus immediately began stressing. Packing was going to be a bitch.

Tyra continued. "Acting is very important for a model. Models have to show in one frame what actors and actresses express in an _entire_ movie, but you have to know how to _feel_ it before you can take truly great photos. I'm now going to assign the parts, so you can think about finding your character. Remember, you all have to do your best with this, because one of you will be eliminated after the judges analyze your performances."

She told them what they were going to be, and gave them some words of advice.

"Remember, the characters come from what's in _you_. So to convince the audience, find what's in your heart and put that out there." She smiled sincerely. "Good luck, I can't wait to see the results." With that parting tip, she sent them all up to pack and figure out their story.

* * *

Jace was extremely excited as they boarded the flight. He felt like he was already up in the air, even though he was still on the ground. There was something about the airport that was just…awesome. There were so many people, all going places. And he didn't know about the flight food, but the food at the airport was delicious. He'd never had a better sandwich in his life.

"I've never been on a plane," he told Clary. "I can't wait."

She shook her head at his obvious enthusiasm. "You can have the window seat."

Simon purchased several packs of mint gum at one of the convenience stores in the airport. The last time he'd been on a plane, he'd been six, and the pressure had bothered his ears a lot. Hopefully he'd grown out of it. He also bought a book to entertain himself during the six hour flight.

Tyra's private plane was huge, and extremely luxurious. It was divided into a lot of little compartments so passengers could actually have some privacy.

And there were no cameras, so it was _real_ privacy. That seemed like a luxury in itself after the past couple of weeks.

To Simon's surprise, Isabelle asked to join him.

"Hi," she smiled at him. "Shall we weather the trip together?"

"Sure," he smiled back.

She sat and stretched out her legs. "I haven't gotten to talk to you much," she said. "So…let's start with the basics. What made you want to do this crazy competition?"

He put his book down. "I just went to the tryouts with Clary. I don't know how I got in. It just sort of happened."

"Aw, fishing?" she teased.

"What? Oh, oh no, I wasn't fishing for compliments," he was embarrassed that she might think that. "I just was surprised to be chosen, I never thought of modeling and I don't exactly look like Tyson Beckford. What made you want to do it?"

She laughed as she recalled. "A silly bet with Jace that I would make it and he wouldn't. Or that I would make it farther if we did get in."

"Is that still on?"

She put her finger to her lips. "Hmm, well, only if I do outlast him. I'll definitely rub it in his face a bit. His ego can stand it. But if I don't- well, _I'm_ certainly not going to bring it up."

Simon grinned. "Ha. He'll probably remember."

"Oh, he never forgets." Isabelle agreed. "He's like a stubborn elephant. But if I cry and carry on about being eliminated he won't say anything about it."

"Ah, girl tears. I can actually relate to him on that."

"Oh _really_ now?"

"Yes," Simon nodded solemnly. "When women cry, it terrifies men more than anything."

"Well, that's pretty silly. Why is that so terrifying?" she put her chin on her fist and leaned on the arm rest, as if eager to hear him expound on his theories.

Simon tried to think of how to explain it. "Well, perhaps it's because we men have issues with expressing ourselves, and when faced with raw human emotion we panic."

Isabelle nodded along. "Possible."

"Or," Simon continued. "It's because we don't understand girl's tears, and we're scared that they're actually really angry and are going to smash in our car windshield or something."

She laughed outright. "Probable."

"But," Simon held up a finger. "I don't think either of those are the real reasons. I think it's because…when girls cry, we get upset because we don't know how to cheer them up. We want to be able to make them smile, and when we can't, we feel helpless."

She looked at him more closely. "I like that reason the best," she said finally. "But most guys don't care if they can make a girl smile. They care about whether or not they can get her in bed without too much effort."

Simon was a little surprised by her bluntness, but he took it in stride. "Well, I hope not _most _guys, but a lot yes, unfortunately."

"Jace and Alec aren't like that," Isabelle admitted. "Well, Alec, I mean…he's not like that with guys. If anything I worry about him getting taken advantage of. That's why now that he's found someone great, I'm so eager for it to work." She paused. "I shouldn't talk about him though. Me and my big mouth."

Simon wasn't sure what to say. "Don't worry about it. I won't say anything. I'm sure he knows how lucky he is to have such a great sister."

They were quiet for a minute. Isabelle was lost in thought.

"I don't put all the blame on guys that are like that," she said. "If girls are dumb enough to go along with it, it's just as much their fault." She smiled wryly.

Simon looked at her. "Everybody does dumb things sometimes."

Isabelle considered that. "What about you Simon? You seem to have it all together. What dumb things have you done lately?"

"Me? Oh, plenty. This flight isn't long enough to even approach that."

"Ooh, so his lips are zipped. I'm intrigued now, but fair enough."

A flight attendant checked in on them and asked what they'd like to have for a meal and to drink. Soon after she left, the announcement came over the intercom that the plane was soon to take off.

It began rolling down the runway so smoothly, that Tyra Banks herself would have been proud.

* * *

It was really weird when they arrived, because though the flight took six hours, California was three hours behind New York. So since they left at five pm, they got there at eight. But it felt like eleven, and everybody was tired.

"I feel like we went back in time," Jace commented. "It's weird."

"I like it," Maia said. "We get a redo of the last three hours."

"I'm going to redo them in a state of unconsciousness," Jace supplied.

Hodge had come along on the flight, and he was driving the Cali version of the Tyra limo to the beachside resort. It wasn't yet dark, but the sky was starting to get a bit pink.

Magnus nudged Alec awake when they arrived at the hotel. Alec had been exhausted by the long flight, and he had dozed off in the car, his head dropping onto Magnus shoulder for the last part of the drive.

"Alec," Magnus said quietly. "We're here."

Alec jerked awake. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, it was just that he had done a really hard workout that day and then the hours of sitting still had somehow been more draining.

"I'm sorry," he apologized to Magnus.

"Don't be," Magnus smiled. They stepped out of the long aqua blue vehicle.

"The ocean's beautiful," Clary commented.

"Wow," even Sebastian had to agree. Everybody stopped in the process of rolling their bags to look at the water that reflected the sunset. It was all violet and pink and there was still a touch of gold in the sky, casting a tangerine light on the faces of the travelers.

"I have never seen something so pretty while standing in a parking lot," Raphael admitted, enthused for once.

The hotel was medium sized, and was white with many visible white railed balconies.

The contestants were checked in and given their room keys. They were to occupy four rooms. The girls got a larger suite with three beds, and the guys paired off. Magnus and Alec and Raphael and Sebastian wanted to go together so Jace and Simon were inevitably stuck with each other.

Alec and Magnus reached their room and turned the light on. Magnus tipped the bellhop for bringing his luggage. Alec had carried his one bag, and he plunked it down on the floor near one of the beds and shoved it under.

They took their new living space. It was a very nice room. There was a little kitchen area with a dark wood counter and wood floor. The room was done in creams and reds, and seemed to compliment the sun coming through the huge glass doors and windows that almost took up one wall. Alec was glad there were red curtains that they could draw closed. He was going to enjoy the privacy of not having any cameras.

"Oh gawd," Magnus gushed. "We get a TV Alec, we actually get a television." There was a large television in front of Magnus' bed on the left side of the room walking in.

Alec smiled at Magnus' appreciation of the television. "That wasn't one of the things I missed actually."

"Then you don't know good television." Magnus said. "I love this room. Luuurve it. What about you darling?"

"It is very nice," Alec agreed. "I like the view."

"So do I," Magnus walked over to Alec to take a look at the sunset. "But you know what the best thing about it is?"

"What?" Alec asked, curious.

"The company," Magnus smiled and leaned in to kiss Alec's nose. "I'm glad to be here with you."

"I'm glad you're here too," Alec said, smiling shyly. He wrapped his arms around Magnus' neck and pulled him in for a real kiss.

Alec always shivered at the intimacy of this, of tasting Magnus and lovingly nibbling his lips and brushing Magnus' tongue with his own. It made him feel warm and excited.

He tangled one hand in Magnus' impossible silky black hair, and groaned from how good it felt when Magnus deepened the kiss and explored his mouth. Magnus was brushing his hands all down his body, from his shoulders to his waist and even to his thigh, his long fingers gently splaying out there. Alec gasped when Magnus began stroking his thigh, making his muscles tremble from the pleasure.

He broke away, breathing hard. "Magnus," he moaned, his eyes half lidded.

Magnus kissed his fluttering eyelids. "I love you Alec."

Alec paused just to give the words their proper weight as his nerves fired with heat and his toes curled in his socks from pure bliss. "I love you too." He didn't even have to hesitate; it was just something that he knew. And he wanted Magnus to know it too. He clutched at the back of Magnus' shirt, not wanting to let him go.

"You're tired," Magnus reminded him reluctantly, after a long and sweet embrace. "We'd better get some sleep to be ready for tomorrow."

"I want to sleep with you," Alec said, and then blushed fiercely. "I mean, I want to sleep in the same bed. Would you mind?" he asked, very hopeful that he wouldn't.

Would he _mind_? _HELL NO_. "That would be wonderful," Magnus nuzzled his nose and then kissed him again. He just couldn't resist. "Let's get ready."

Alec slid the curtains closed so they could get changed into their soft sleeping attire. By now it was dark.

"Can you see any stars?" Magnus asked. "I'm used to gazing at the glow stars on our ceiling back in New York, but some real ones would be nice."

"There are so many," Alec said. "You should look."

Magnus took a peak. "You're right," he said. "They're bright."

Alec realized what Magnus had said. "Glow stars?"

"Oh," Magnus chuckled. "I put them on the ceiling so I'd have something to distract me. Otherwise I would have stared at you all night. You're too tempting."

Alec shook his head in amazement. He didn't know what Magnus saw in him that was so fascinating.

They curled under the covers on Magnus' bed, and Alec gasped. "Oh god, the sheets-

"They're silk," Magnus sighed. "They're very soft, and silk will keep you cool. Or warm, whichever you're in need of."

Alec kissed Magnus again. "I need you. I love you."

"I love you back," Magnus grinned.

"I like saying it," Alec said.

"You can say it all you want."

They moved to get comfortable and close to each other. Alec thought this was the most thrilling thing he'd ever done. Being in bed with Magnus made his heart race and his young body shiver from excitement. But in a different way, he also felt relaxed with Magnus. He felt like he could be himself.

Magnus was happier than he'd ever been in his life. He wasn't even sure he'd be able to sleep, his whole being positively thrummed with energy.

"Goodnight Magnus," Alec yawned and wrapped an arm around the tall boy's slender frame.

"Goodnight darling."

Against all odds, the sound of Alec's even breathing did eventually lull Magnus to sleep.

They both had very good dreams.

***


	15. Nawara'ven

**Gah! I typed out all the review replies only to try and save and have my computer log out. So annoying! I'll edit and put them in tomorrow, some of you made me laugh so hard:D**

**Anyway, I posted two chapters in one night so MAKE SURE YOU READ THE ONE BEFORE THIS! otherwise you will be very confused folks.**

**I don't own anything about this. love to all. :)**

* * *

The next day, the contestants were whisked off bright and early to wild and out of the way filming location. They all went through make up and wardrobe, and stressed over whether they were ready for this or not.

But it didn't matter whether they were prepared or not. This was happening.

Lights, camera, action.

* * *

Jace was dressed in a royal blue tunic laced with gold threaded leaf designs that came down to mid thigh over white pants. The soft leather boots were good for scaling the castle wall.

Prince Jace was sneaking out of the castle, using the classic rope of bed sheets. This was the start of the adventure.

He wandered the woods for a while, balancing on fallen tree trunks and scaling boulders. He saw a snake, and watched it for a little while.

But then, a scream pierced the still morning air, scaring birds from the trees and sending deer galloping all over the place.

_I didn't know those deer were there_, Jace thought to himself.

"Let me go!" a girl's voice yelled. "I'll cut your dick off you bastard!"

"A damsel in distress!" Jace exclaimed. He peeked through some bushes and saw a ship anchored at the beach.

A black flag with a grinning skull waved proudly in the wind.

"_Pirates,"_ he hissed through his teeth. "How dare they sale in the waters near my kingdom? And to actually come ashore…"

Two thuggish pirates were gripping a pretty young girl in a long green dress that looked more suitable for a ball than for a day at the beach.

"Princess Maia!" Jace whispered aloud. "My betrothed! I must save her!"

Raphael was calmly overseeing the loading of cargo. He was dressed in rich silks that had been tattered to look like they'd weathered life at sea. Gold earrings glistened in his ears, and his feet were bare.

"And why should I let you go when you threaten me in such a way?" the young pirate asked her, rolling his eyes. "We mean you no harm Senorita. I am merely kidnapping you so I can hold you for ransom because your country will pay a handsome amount in exchange for their beloved princess. You can think of it as a simple business transaction, if you like."

"My people don't deal with pirates," she spat. "You'll get nothing!"

"A pity for you then," he said dispassionately, as if he didn't believe her for a second. "Bring her aboard."

Jace knew it was time, and stepped from the forest onto the sand of the beach. "Wait!" he said. "Let her go!"

All heads turned in his direction. Raphael's eyes brightened with interest. "Prince Jace," he nodded to him. "Buenas dias. I must say, I am surprised that you are permitted to travel alone and unprotected. It is very unwise for you to do so."

"Ah, so you know me. I know you as well _pirate_. You are known around the world for your terrorizing of merchant ships, your skill with a sword, and your ridiculously small stature. You are the dread pirate Raphael!"

Raphael's eyes narrowed. He didn't know why people found it so endlessly amusing to point out that he was short. He decided to let it drop for now.

"And why should I let the girl go? What can you offer in return?" he asked. "There is very little that is equal to the worth of a princess, and I doubt you have such an object on hand."

Jace took a deep breath. "I could disappear into the forest in an instant if you refuse. I know these woods much better than you." He took a step back into the shade of the trees to prove his point.

"Si," Raphael nodded, conceding the truth of this.

"So," Jace continued. "A prince for a princess, take me instead."

Raphael laughed. "I should have known. Your reputation for foolishness and bravery precedes you." He turned to grin at the crew. "What do you say men? The pretty blonde prince is eager to be our captive."

They laughed and leered at Jace.

"I'll bet he is," one of the bearded men sneered. "That's one sweet little a- I mean, the lad be as fair as a maid! Argh!"

Jace broke character for a moment to flash the man a 'WTF' look. _Geez, where did Tyra get these extras, the state penitentiary? _

Then he remembered that yes, yes she did.

Perhaps that was why they seemed to readily accept Raphael as their leader.

"That's enough of that for now Pangborn," Raphael said. "We don't want to scare him too much."

"Jace!" Maia yelled. "What the hell are you doing?"

He blinked. "Uh, saving you Princess."

"I didn't ask you to save me you dumbass! And this isn't going to make me feel any better about marrying you!"

"Well that's pretty ungrateful of you Maia!" Jace shouted back. "I don't think you're really appreciating the situation here! When they say I remind them of a girl, they don't mean they're going to treat me like a lady! Do I have to spell it out for you?!"

"I can handle this myself!- Mmph!"

Raphael clapped a hand over Maia's mouth. He was getting pretty tired of listening to her.

"I accept the trade," he proclaimed. "Step forward."

"Let her go first," Jace said.

Raphael shook his head. "You will do anything to save your precious princess. It is you I think, who will yield first."

"Oh, come on. Just let her go, she can't run in that dress."

Raphael considered. "Hm, fair point. But I'll release her only if you swear to come willingly."

Jace's eyes widened. "But if I swear, I'll be bound by my oath!"

Raphael stared back at him. "That is sort of the point." _Moron._

"Okay, okay, I swear."

"Alright then. Senorita, you are free."

Maia slapped him gratuitously before jogging off in the ridiculously poufy blue dress.

"HEY!" Jace yelled after her. "I don't even get a kiss for this selfless princely deed?!"

"I HATE YOU!" she yelled back.

Jace was about to announce that their engagement was definitely off when he was knocked off his feet and two pirates starting dragging him by each ankle.

"Ow," he groaned. "You don't think this is _overkill_ Raphael? I'm coming willingly! What was the point of swearing?!"

"Secure him to the mainmast," Raphael decreed, ignoring Jace's protests. "Chicas bring bad winds to sea voyages, but princes are lucky."

"Argh!" the pirates cheered.

Jace glared at the pirates dragging him. "You two _smell_ of bad winds, I just feel compelled to tell you."

Minutes later, he was tied to the mast. He supposed that being the main character; he had to go through a lot of crap. But he also figured it could have been worse.

"Rum all around amigos!" Raphael proclaimed, to great cheers.

"Hey Raphael!" Jace called out.

"Si." Raphael turned.

"I've heard stories about your skill with a sword, are they true, or is it all tall tales?"

Raphael thumped his thin chest. "You heard correctly. I am the best."

"I think you're wrong. I think that I'm the best."

Raphael shrugged. "Well, if you're the best, maybe I should just kill you and then I'll be the best again."

Jace blinked. That was not the response that had he had been expecting. "Why don't you untie me so we can match blades? Surely you're not _afraid_?"

Raphael rolled his eyes. He would never fall for something this dumb, but sadly the plot demanded it.

"I am not afraid chico. Cut him loose and give him a sword." he commanded.

Jace was freed and given a sword. He was really excited about playing action hero.

Raphael was tossed a sword as well, and when Jace curled his fingers in a 'bring it' motion, he attacked.

They jabbed and parried in an intricate on the spot choreography that brought them up in the rigging, all around the deck, down below, and back again, as the pirates/temporarily released criminals looked on in amazement.

Raphael was not one for pointless physical exertion, but he was doing his best with this. He and Jace struck swords so forcefully, that Raphael's sword broke in half.

Jace blinked at it with a 'that wasn't supposed to happen' look on his face.

"My sword triumphs!" he exclaimed when he recovered. He shoved Raphael down to the deck and pressed the tip of the blade against his throat. "Because of your ego, you have been defeated pirate! You had me in your clutches, but that wasn't enough for you was it? No, your pride would not allow another to claim they were the best…"

Raphael drummed his fingers as Jace ranted on. It was very annoying, getting this speech from someone with an ego that rivaled all others in history. Raphael knew that they had planned for Jace to win…but this situation called for a bit of improvising.

"Oh Senor," he groaned in the infamous girly voice. "You are so sexy when you're forceful."

Jace paused. "…eh?"

Raphael recognized that his focus had wavered, so he took the chance to kick Jace's legs out from under him and snatch the sword. He leapt to his feet.

"You fool. Forget ransom, I am richer than the king. For that attempt on my life you will walk the plank. Actually, you have already taken up too much of my time. Adios."

He flung Jace overboard into the sea.

_There, that was another way for him to 'escape.' _

Raphael brushed himself off and turned to the crew. "Lo siento amigos, we'll find another one. He was too annoying."

They were staring at him.

"Uh, Captain…" one pirate with an eye patch spoke up. "You sound real cute when you do that voice…"

Raphael flung him overboard as well. He glared around at the remaining crew. "Does anyone else here share the opinion of Mr. Blackburn?"

They shook their heads rapidly.

"That is what I thought. Then point us starboard, we sale into the sunrise!"

"Argh!"

Raphael tapped a finger against his lower lip. "On second thought, let's go back and get that princess again. She can't have gotten far."

* * *

Jace had been thrown overboard so suddenly he almost inhaled water. They were in actuality only two hundred meters off shore, so it took him only a few minutes to swim to the beach. He collapsed there dramatically, pretending to pass out.

Now it was Clary's turn in the spotlight. She was a mermaid, and had a purple tail and a green bra-top. She had insisted on padding and was pretty pleased with the results.

She was now going to commence with observing Jace creepily while he was 'passed out'.

He looked so handsome. She was sure she'd look like drowned rat if she was tossed up from the ocean like that, but he just looked so…wet.

She ran a hand through his damp hair. Damn it, she'd forgotten what she was supposed to sing! She went with the first thing that she thought of.

"I've got my sight set on you, and I'm ready to aim,

I have a heart that will- never be tamed.

I knew you were something special, when you spoke my name.

Now I can't wait to see you again.

I've got a way of knowing, when something is right.

I feel like I must have known you, in another life.

Cuz I felt this deep connection, when you looked in my eyes. Now I can't wait, to see you again.

The last time I freaked out, I just keep looking down, I st-st-stutter when you ask me what I'm thinkin 'bout. Felt like I couldn't breathe, you asked what's wrong with me, my best friend Simon said oh 'she's just bein Clary-"

His eyes fluttered open. "A mermaid," he breathed. "Fair maiden, you have brought me back from the brink with your ethereally beautiful song. What is your name?" he asked, taking her hand.

"Clariel," she responded, sniggering on the inside. "But you can call me Clary."

"You saved my life," he declared. "Forget Maia. Clary, will you marry me? We can be king and queen someday, and rule the kingdom of Wincest together."

"Sure," she said, and leaned in to kiss him. He tasted like salt.

"I've never seen someone as beautiful as you," he said, completely enraptured. They started kissing passionately.

Then Clary heard someone calling Jace's name. She tried to distract him by nipping at his neck, hoping he hadn't heard.

"Ungh," he grunted. "That feels nice Clary…someone's calling." He sat up.

Alec had frozen as he came upon the scene. He hadn't known they would be making out when he 'found' them.

"Hey Alec!" Jace shouted to him.

"Hey," Alec waved tentatively at him. When Clary seemed to be keeping a suitable distance, he hurried over. He was dressed as a knight, without the helmet.

"Jace," he started. "Do you know that I've been looking everywhere for you?! You can't just wander off any time you feel like it! I need to be there to protect you! You could get hurt, or kidnapped!" Oh yes, it was definitely very easy to fall into this role.

"Oh, I already was," Jace waved a hand dismissively. "By pirates, but they threw me overboard."

Alec blinked. "Threw you-?"

"Alec, this is Clary, we're getting married."

"You're…you're what? You can't marry a _mermaid_ Jace. It just doesn't work like that, she lives in the ocean."

"Hey," Clary interrupted. "He asked me, not you. I say yes."

Jace hung his head. "He is right that it would be difficult for us to be together Clary." He perked up. "We'll just have to turn you into a human! With my teachings, you'll be the greatest human ever!"

Alec face palmed. This dialogue was just…scintillating.

"I'll have to carry you," Jace continued. "Will you be alright out of water for a few hours?"

"Yes," Clary responded. "But where are we going?"

"To see Alec's sister, the fairy of the wood. We'll ask her to turn you human."

* * *

Isabelle was dressed in a shimmery pink dress that was reminiscent of an upside down blooming flower. She had two sparkling wings, and was barefoot. She loved the getup.

But even more than that, she loved the house she got to stay in. It was a wooden cabin type place, but the flowered vines growing up it made it look very wild and pretty. Countless varieties of wildflowers surrounded the place. She would love to live in a place like this, for about one day until she got bored of it.

The trio was approaching. A very wet Jace was carrying a mermaid Clary, while Alec tagged along. He looked as if he wished he were somewhere else.

"Hi Alec," she smiled.

"Hi Izzy," he said back.

"Hello fairy," Jace called out. "We're here to ask you to turn Clary into a human."

She made a face. "Why would you want to be human?" she addressed Clary. "You're fine the way you are."

"I want to be with Jace," Clary tightened her hold around him. "We can't be together this way."

"He's just telling you that," Isabelle waved a hand. "A good boyfriend should want to make things work without wanting to change you-

"I'm tired of eating snails and kelp!" Clary interrupted. "I want to be a person!"

Isabelle sighed. "Whatever, I don't have the power to do that anyway. You have to see the wizard for that. His name is Magnus Bane, and maybe he'll give you what you want."

Alec felt a little thrill run through him at Magnus' name. "Where can we find him?" he asked Isabelle.

She gave them a list of instructions, and they set off to see the wizard.

* * *

Magnus got to wait in a gorgeous stone house. It was decorated with rich and vibrant colors, just how he would do it up. He especially loved the huge stone fireplace. He could imagine starting a crackling fire on a cold winter's night, and curling up next to Alec on the couch. Or perhaps they could just share one of those big armchairs, warm and close under a blanket…

The knock on the door startled him out of his musings. It was Alec's knock, he could tell. Alec knocked every single time before entering their room, ever since one of the first days in New York when he had walked in on Magnus in the process of changing his shirt. 'I'm so sorry!' he had stuttered, before ducking out.

What a wonderful, adorable boy he was.

"Who beckons?" Magnus called out.

"Open in the name of the king!" Jace hollered.

Magnus sighed and collapsed back in one of the cushy chairs. Evidently this was going to be a long process.

"You're going to have to do better than that hon," he called back.

It was Clary's voice this time. "We need you to do something for us!" she exclaimed.

Magnus examined his nails. "Oh, poor you. What about my needs? What about my peace and quiet?"

"Please, um…Sir, we're sorry for bothering you. We'd really appreciate it if we could talk to you for a minute. It's something only you can help us with."

Oh dear lord, Alec had just called him 'Sir'. It was so very weird and it made Magnus want to burst out laughing. It would have been nice to hear a bit more flattery, but he couldn't hear that again without cracking up. He got to his feet.

"Alright alright don't get your skivvies in a twist, I'm coming." He unlatched the rounded wooden door and swung it inwards.

"Come in," he said, without even sparing a second glance for the visitors. He snapped his fingers and signaled that they follow him into the sitting room.

Alec's mouth had dropped open when he saw Magnus. It was the first look he was getting at what he was wearing. Black boots were laced all the way up his slim calves, over tight black pants. He was wearing a belted black and silver threaded tunic, and silver moon and stars patterns were delicately threaded into a sweeping midnight cloak. Several thin silver bracelets glistened on both of his wrists

Jace put Clary in one of the armchairs, and turned to Magnus. "It's about Clary-

"Ahem," Magnus interrupted. "And who is Clary? Are you going to introduce yourselves?"

"I'm Prince Jace, this is Clary, and this is my First Knight, Alec."

Magnus eyed Alec in his light armor, he looked quite fetching. The sight made him want to peel off every piece of metal to get at the goods.

"A pleasure," Magnus dipped his head to them. "I, of course, am Magnus Bane. Now you may state your request."

"It's Clary," Jace said again. "As you can see, she's a mermaid, and we want to turn her into a person."

Magnus waved him silent. "This seems like something I should hear from her. Clarissa?"

She shifted in the chair, as best she could with a tail. "I met Jace today, and I want to marry him. I want to be a person so we can be together. I'm asking you to turn me human."

Magnus studied the rings on his fingers. "I'm not going to do that Clarissa dear."

"Why?" Clary demanded. "We came all this way-

"That's not my fault," Magnus interrupted. "That was your choice. And the reason I'm not going to change you is that you were fine with being a mermaid until you met this boy, and you've got a crush and want to give up what you are. That's not a good enough reason."

"I want this for me!" Clary exclaimed. "It's not some kind of infatuation-

Magnus stood. "I've said my piece about this Clarissa. Thank you for stopping by," he gestured to the door.

Alec took a deep breath. This was the part when he was supposed to give a speech, and he was pretty nervous about it. Especially since he'd just forgotten everything that he'd planned to say.

"Wait," he said, before anyone could get up. Magnus' gaze settled on him, soft, rather than intimidating. Alec relaxed a bit.

"Please Magnus," Alec said. "I don't know Clary that well, but I know Jace. And I can see by the way that he looks at her that he loves her." He smiled at his friend. "…If Clary feels the same," he glanced at her and saw her nodding. "-Then that's the reason she wants to change. It would make her happy to be with him, and she's not losing anything of herself by doing that. Sometimes you just know that you've found the person that was meant for you." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, I just want them to be happy."

Magnus tried to blink himself back into the current situation.

"Well," his voice was rough. "How can I refuse? I'm such a sucker for true love. And pretty dark haired knights. So Clary, you're very sure about this? It would be a permanent change."

"I'm sure," Clary said.

"Alright then," Magnus rubbed his hands together before cracking his knuckles. "There's going to be one less fish-girl in the world in just a moment from now."

He closed his eyes and seemed to concentrate.

"Angels and demons, starfish and China, give this mermaid legs… and a vagina!"

He threw down some powder, and a cloud of purple smoke hid Clary from view for a few moments. When it cleared she was standing there in a long purple dress. She smiled at Jace.

"Clary!" he embraced her. "Did you hear that? Now you have a va…eeerrry nice set of legs!" _Save._

"I know," she said, and stood on her tiptoes to reach his lips with hers.

They kissed for a long moment. She wrapped her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, and he lifted her up.

When they finally broke away and he set her down again, she frowned. "My legs are kind of short," she pointed out to Magnus. "Can't you make me taller-

"So touching!" Magnus interrupted. "But I've had enough of you now, so go canoodle elsewhere dears. Au revoir."

He guided them to the door.

"Goodbye Alec," he winked. "Please do call me Magnus, next time that you stop by."

Alec made an embarrassed sound, but smiled. "I will. Goodbye Magnus."

* * *

In a dark cave, Maia struggled in her bonds, and cursed Sebastian and Raphael over and over again. "Out of the frying pan and into the fire," she mumbled. "How do I get out of this now?"

"There there Princess," Sebastian soothed as he stepped into the light of the fire. "You might not have to die, if Prince Jace sees reason."

The flickering flames sent eerie shadows dancing across his pale face, and lit his odd black eyes with glow that promised nothing good. He was dressed in a blood red robe, and his arms were etched with twisting black designs. Raphael came in behind him, glancing around the cave to look for shiny things. He grabbed a gold compass that looked valuable off the long table and pocketed it.

Maia glared at them both. "You'll regret it if you don't let me go."

"Here come the threats," Raphael commented. "They are cringe worthy."

Sebastian smiled, as if amused. "I wouldn't be making threats, were I in your position princess. If you're insinuating that your prince will save you, that's exactly what I'm counting on."

"He'll never fall for this. He'll send an army or something, a group of soldiers. He won't come by himself."

"Oh, you'd be surprised."

* * *

Jace marveled at Sebastian's rope tying abilities. There was no way he was wriggling out of this. "Where do you learn this stuff?" he asked.

"Boy scouts," Sebastian said.

"Okay we're ready to go," Hodge said as he pointed the camera in their direction. He counted off to three on his fingers, and they started.

Jace shifted and groaned like he was coming around. "Where am I?" he blinked.

"In my clutches," Sebastian said. "You were thoroughly owned."

"What do you want with me?" Jace growled.

Sebastian grabbed a handful of his hair and jerked his head back. "Isn't it obvious?"

Jace blinked. "You don't mean…?"

Sebastian looked disgusted and released him. "No you idiot. I want your kingdom. We want your kingdom," he nodded to Raphael, who was showing little interest in the proceedings and was lounging on a pile of treasure and taking a quick nap.

"Wincest will never be yours, you evil bastard," Jace said. "You can kill me, but it will get you nothing. There are many in line after me. Clary will be queen."

"Yes she will," Sebastian purred. "She will be _my_ queen. That kingdom is rightfully mine."

"What are you talking about?"

"Jace," he paused. "I am your father."

"WHAAAAAAT??? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"

Sebastian covered his ears at the obnoxious outburst. "Geez, I was just kidding. I'm your brother."

"WHAAAAAT??? NOO-

He was cut off by a smack in the face. "Shut. Up." Sebastian told him. "Seriously."

"Which one of us is going to lose a hand?" Jace asked. "Because I think after revelations like this somebody has to lose a hand in an ensuing struggle."

Sebastian ignored him. He pushed a strand of white hair out of his face. "As the older brother, I should be king. But our parents chose _you_, with your left handedness and your pretty manners and your oh so delicate _feelings_. They abandoned me because of my demonic powers."

"-and you were raised by wolves?"

"And I was raised by DEMONS!" Sebastian talked over him. "I want you to send a message by hologram to Clary, and tell her to dismiss the army and that you've handed over the kingdom to me. You _are_ going to give me my kingdom little brother. Because if you don't? I will sacrifice you and Maia. With the blood of a boy and girl of royal birth, I can summon a demon army that numbers more than a thousand. And I will decimate your knights and the royal family." He threw his head back and laughed. It was an eerie sound that sent chills down Jace and Maia's spines. Raphael yawned.

When Sebastian finally stopped laughing, he stepped over to the pentagram carved into the cave floor. "As a demonstration of my powers, I will summon a demon now."

"Don't do this!" Maia shouted. "It's wrong! It's evil!" She was working on the ropes that were keeping her wrists bound to the stalagmite. She was almost free.

Sebastian rolled up his sleeves, and grinned. "And it's _just_ my style. Prepare to be amazed."

He chanted in Latin, and threw down some powder. Red smoke went up around the pentagram and almost filled the cave.

When it cleared, a skinny demon boy knelt in the circle. He had aqua skin etched with rune designs, and yellow catlike eyes. His hair was a slightly darker shade than his skin. He had an Egyptian style shendjyt wrapped around his waist, and nothing else.

Simon blinked rapidly and sneezed. These contacts were much more uncomfortable than the Edward Cullen ones, and the smoke had irritated his eyes even more. Plus he had to wear something that amounted to a glorified skirt/loincloth. One problem had nothing to do with the other but he was not exactly a happy camper overall.

When he could finally see well enough, he looked around at Jace, Maia, Raphael and Sebastian, who were all staring at him. He stood and rubbed the cuff bracelets on his wrists. "I feel judged," he said self consciously.

"It's kind of cute." Jace decided.

"He's not an 'it'," Maia scolded him. "He's a boy."

"It doesn't look dangerous." Jace said.

"Oh I'm _not_ dangerous," Simon said quickly. "All the other demons make fun of me because I don't have long claws or sharp teeth or leathery wings. I'm not very fearsome at all actually, I have no powers. I basically haunt Egyptian pyramids, minding my own business-

"SILENCE!" Sebastian cut him off. "Listen to me demon! I summoned you. I am your master now."

"Oh, great." Simon sighed, and looked down at his blue feet.

Sebastian frowned at this pathetic excuse for a demon. "Do you have _any_ skills?" he asked, in a tone that suggested he doubted it.

Simon considered. "I can speak Vulcan, Elvish and Na'vi. Oh, and Twi'leki, but I only know a few words of that, like how to say 'tarnished silver.' That's 'nawara'ven', if you were interested. For some reason Twi'leks have a Middle Eastern accent. I can't explain why though."

"You will do as I command," Sebastian grabbed his wrist and yanked him out of the pentagram. "If I told you to kill those two, you would do it, wouldn't you?"

Simon eyed the two tied up teens with wide eyes. "I would have to do it. But I don't want to kill anyone. Can't we resolve this peacefully?"

Sebastian dug his nails into his own palm. "Why don't you tell my friends here about what _other _demons are like?"

Simon shuddered. "They're terrible, most of them. They tear the limbs off people for fun. They're very hard to kill."

Sebastian finally smiled and turned to Jace. "See? Straight from the lips of one of their own. Just surrender to me now little brother. We can avoid this bloodshed; it's really very generous of me to offer. I'll even let you leave with your life. All you have to do is send that message."

Maia was free by this time, but there had to be a distraction for her to leave convincingly. Raphael was sleeping peacefully, perhaps even actually sleeping, but Sebastian was alert. She signaled to Simon with her eyes, mouthing, 'I'm loose'. Simon raised his eyebrows and nodded back, signaling that he understood.

Sebastian tried not to roll his eyes. Their attempt at subtle communication was so obvious, that he never would have missed it. But he had to pretend to. He wondered how Simon would 'distract' him.

"Hey Master?" Simon said. "I can do other things."

"Like-?" Sebastian didn't even spare a glance for him. He wasn't going to make it this easy.

"I can juggle," Simon said. "See?" he picked up a couple rocks and started juggling them.

Sebastian ignored him.

"I know riddles. Have you heard the Sphinx one?"

"You're a completely useless demon. I'll probably just kill you."

Simon wracked his brain for a suitable talent. "I can sing a little-

"Oh for fuck's sake," Sebastian decided to give him a hand, so he grabbed Simon and kissed him.

Simon's body tensed and he made a surprised sound against Sebastian's mouth. Sebastian took advantage of the gasp to thrust his tongue in Simon's mouth. _Ah yes, now this was pleasantly distracting._

Simon just closed his eyes and tried not to think too much about what was happening here.

Maia was shocked for a moment, so shocked that she just watched for a moment before finally remembering she was supposed to scurry off.

"Blech," Jace said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. It was almost too much to take in. He didn't really want to take it in anyway.

"Mm," Sebastian smirked. "Perhaps I won't kill you after all. What do you think-"

As he turned to ask the opinion of his captives, the smile vanished in an instant. He stared for a moment at the ropes that had held Maia.

He turned back again in an impossibly fast movement. "You." his eyes flicked back to Simon.

That one quiet word held so much venom that Simon actually shivered for real. Sebastian was a scary good actor. Simon had to keep telling himself that this was all for Tyra. Acting, acting, acting.

He was still thinking this when Sebastian knocked his legs out from under him and grabbed his hair, jerking his face up.

"You were trying to distract me so that she could escape." Somehow rage simmered in his seemingly calm delivery. The calm didn't last long, and he flung Simon back into the pentagram. "_You little tick! You've ruined EVERYTHING!"_ He knocked over the table covered with books and glass viles, and the crash echoed in the cave.

Simon's heart was pounding from nervousness. Sebastian snatched a whip from mess and stood.

"Sebastian stop!" Jace said sharply. The dark eyed boy was so convincing that Jace wasn't quite sure he actually was in control. And cameraman Hodge was quaking in his boots, looking as if he had no intention of doing anything about it. Jace really wished he wasn't tied up.

Sebastian's eyes slid to Jace. "If you don't send the message, I'll kill the boy." His eyes were wild as he gestured to the kneeling Simon. "I'll make it slow and painful, and I'll make you watch and listen to him screaming. I'm done playing cute games with you."

Simon cowered in his pentagram space. He was supposed to be trapped there, but his instincts urged him to run off. "Cut please!" he signaled to Hodge. "I feel uncomfortable being shoved around like this."

Sebastian threw the whip on the ground. "Are you kidding me?! It's not like I'm really going to whip you you idiot! What do you want me to do when you've ruined all my plans- give you flowers?! You're ruining my fucking scene! Did you ever think for a second, 'Oh la-dee-da, hey it's fucking distracting when I interrupt someone in the middle of their scene'?! Do you understand that my mind is not in the fucking scene if you do that? The fuck is it with you? Give me answer, what don't you get about it?!"

Simon put his hands up. "Okay, okay, I didn't mean anything by it. I'm sorry."

"For fuck's sake! Alright, let's go again."

"Let's take a minute," Jace suggested.

"Let's not take a fucking minute! Let's go aga-

"Sebastian, take a minute." Raphael said calmly.

Sebastian took a deep breath and quieted. "You're right, we'll take a minute."

* * *

Raphael's pirates were posted outside the cave. They were supposed to be guarding, but they were drinking rum and talking about how great it was to be out of jail for a day and hang out with mostly underage teens. Tyra was a great person in their eyes.

Alec, Isabelle, and Clary watched from the nearby forest. Ragnor was trying to be inconspicuous as he filmed.

"This is bad," Alec muttered. "I thought he'd just wandered off again, but he's really in trouble. Clary should go back for help."

"I want to help here!" Clary protested. "I want to help save Jace!"

"What would the point of that be?" Alec snapped. "You don't know anything about fighting, you can barely walk on your legs yet and you'll just get in the way." Oh, how he enjoyed being able to yell at Clary.

"Both of you need to be quieter," Isabelle hissed. "God Alec, stop freaking out. There are only a dozen of them. That's not even a fair fight." She grinned. "The poor pirates."

"She needs to go back for reinforcements." Alec wouldn't give it up. "If we don't make it, there'll be no one to save him."

Clary crossed her arms over her chest. "Fine, I'll go. Happy?"

She waited for them to address her, but they didn't so she just walked away in a huff.

"Alright then," Izzy whispered. "I'll take down that big one first. Ready?"

"Ready," Alec nodded.

Izzy stood up. "Hello gentlemen! I seem to have lost one of my favorite sparkling dewdrop earrings," she brushed her bare earlobe. "Do you think one of you could give me a hand looking for it? How about _you_ big boy?" she simpered.

They stared.

The gigantic man puffed out his massive chest. "Sure I'll help you look for it."

He followed her into the woods, and when they were out of sight of the others, she knocked him over the head with a log, not particularly gently.

He blinked.

"You're knocked out," she told him.

He collapsed obediently.

She went back to shout for the others. "Damn it, we can't find it. Can everybody pitch in?"

They eagerly ambled over to assist, and when they reached the woods Alec dropped from a tree and took two of them down while Isabelle knocked two thug's heads together

The remaining seven did their best, but Isabelle and Alec were merciless with their kicks and punches, and soon stood victorious.

One of the prone pirates reached up and at least got a good grab at Alec's ass. Alec yelped and leapt forward, before spinning around to face his molester.

"I killed you," he snapped.

"I wasn't dead yet," Blackburn rationalized. He closed his eyes. "Now I'm dead."

Isabelle kicked him between the legs. "That's good, because otherwise that would have really hurt." She tilted her shoulders to check her wings for damage. "Alright Alec, let's go save the damsel."

* * *

Sebastian slammed his fist into the cave wall. "This is all useless! I'm just going to have to kill you," he looked at Jace. "At least I can enjoy that small consolation prize." He stepped up to Jace and pressed the point of a sword against his throat. "Any last words?"

"You don't want to do this," Jace said. "He's watching."

"Who- Raphael?" Sebastian scoffed. "Like _he_ cares."

"No." Jace said solemnly. "The raven is watching. And even though it's never talked before, I know it can now conveniently describe events in some way and it will tell the story of your cowardice."

Sebastian blinked, thrown off for a moment. "I'm starting to think this is a mercy kill. Farewell little brother-

"STOP!" Alec yelled, bow drawn and arrow aimed at Sebastian. "If you hurt him I'll kill you."

Sebastian turned to face his new guests. A smile slowly spread across his face. "You won't kill me." He said.

"He damn well will," Isabelle said. "And I would gladly kill you as well. Step back." She lifted a hand and bared her palm. "Fairy magic may not be the most deadly, but I doubt you'll enjoy walking with your legs on backwards."

Sebastian's smile was still in place. "Points for bravery. A shame that only means you're both very foolish." He threw down some more of the powder and in an instant the cave was filled with red smoke. It was suddenly impossible to see a thing.

Amidst the shouts of confusion, Raphael and Sebastian made their escape. Sebastian sealed off the cave with a rock slide, an excellent effect that was his idea.

"Won't they be able to get out of that?" Raphael eyed the smaller rocks blocking the entrance.

"They won't even make it this far," Sebastian asserted. "That smoke is laced with demon poison. They'll be dead within minutes."

Simon could hardly see through the colored fog, but he made out Isabelle collapsed on the floor.

He hurried over to her and picked her up. "I'll get you out," he assured her.

"Demon poison…" she said weakly. "…Especially deadly…to… fairies."

"Hold on," he said. He hurried to the front of the cave and pushed at some of the smaller rocks. They fell so that there was a space big enough for them to fit.

He was going to save the girl.

When they were free of the cave, Isabelle started coming around. "Alec," she said immediately. "-And Jace, they're still inside!" she began coughing.

"I'll go back for them," Simon said. "Rest here, it's going to be fine."

He rushed back to the cave.

Isabelle curled into herself. "Thank you for lying," she whispered quietly, closing her eyes and curling her hand into the grass.

Ragnor was filming outside the cave to catch this dramatic performance, while Hodge bonked around in the confusion in the cave, attempting to capture anything.

* * *

Alec was tugging at the knots that were keeping Jace bound. "Damn it! If only I had my knife…"

"Leave me Alec," Jace said, starting to cough. "Get yourself out."

"I would never leave you here," Alec said fiercely.

Jace didn't answer, he had gone limp in the bonds. Alec felt around for something that would cut, and began slashing at the rope with a sharp rock. He dragged Jace to the front of the cave, his steps faltering.

Simon hurried up to them. "You're still alive," he said, as if he were surprised.

"Take him," Alec coughed, and he collapsed to his knees.

Simon paused in uncertainty, knowing he couldn't take both. It was seriously upsetting.

"GO!" Alec snarled at him.

Simon dragged Jace under the arms and got him out.

Isabelle was in a sitting position when Simon got back with Jace. "Jace," she breathed out. "Thank god."

He groaned as he came around yet again. His eyes snapped to Isabelle. "Where's Alec?" he said.

"He's still in there," Isabelle said, biting at her lip.

Jace's face went blank.

They waited together for Simon to get back.

A few minutes later, Simon came out carrying Alec. He placed him gently on the grass and shook his head at Isabelle and Jace.

"I'm sorry." He looked at the ground.

"No," Isabelle started sobbing and got to her feet to fall beside her brother. She put her hand on his chest, just so she could feel his heartbeat to remind herself that he was really okay. She was getting so into this that she was actually starting to cry, just because it would be so sad if anything happened to Alec. She wouldn't be able to bear it.

Jace was quiet. He knew that he had never been in any danger, but what just happened really made him think. Alec really _would_ give his life for him, if it ever came to that. He didn't even doubt it.

Had he ever really appreciated that fully?

Simon collapsed out of real exhaustion. He had just dragged three people from a cave. Who would have thought he had that kind of strength? He didn't know how he did it.

Alec was feeling completely embarrassed by this attention. He wanted to hug Isabelle and say that everything was okay. Either she was an incredible actress, or she was actually upset.

There was a silence, until it was broken by the sound of a raspy approaching voice.

"Is anyone hurt?"

Isabelle, Jace, and Simon turned to see Clary and Magnus coming out of the woods.

"I told you I'd bring help," Clary said proudly.

Magnus immediately rushed to Alec's side, and knelt down next to him. "What happened?" he demanded.

"Demon poison," Jace said quickly. "He inhaled it."

Magnus put his hands on Alec's chest. He began whispering in some unknown language.

Alec thought he recognized it actually. Was that…Hopelandish?

Magnus' hands were tracing over his ribs and stroking his sides. Alec used every shred of willpower he possessed to be still. It was tickling him. The only sign he gave was a few deeper breaths.

"He's breathing!" Isabelle exclaimed, she was grinning and wiping tears from her face. She threw her arms around Jace and they hugged each other in a temporary truce. They were both very moved.

"He's alright," Magnus said. He took a deep breath himself and leaned down to Alec's face.

"Wake up baby," he whispered, and placed a gentle kiss on Alec's lips.

Alec's eyes flew open. He hadn't expected Magnus to kiss him…this was the kind of thing that should have mortified him in public.

But it didn't.

He closed his eyes again, and wrapped his arms around Magnus' neck to kiss him back.

A great cheer went up as everyone yelled and cried and laughed from sheer happiness.

"Thank god for you Clary," Jace said and swept her off her feet and into a kiss.

Isabelle smiled so brightly she practically gave off light. She turned to Simon.

"You saved me."

"Oh, it was nothing." Simon was still collapsed, staring up at the sky in contentment.

Isabelle pounced on him and kissed him wildly. "You're my hero," she said sincerely. She covered his face in kisses.

Simon was completely shocked. Ah, but she was probably-

"And I'm not acting," she smiled and kissed his nose. He blushed bright red and suddenly felt like he had the power of a billion midi-chlorians rushing through his blood. He jumped to his feet and pulled her up with him, scooping her up with one hand under her legs and the other on her back. She laughed in delight and kissed him again, tangling her fingers in his hair.

Ragnor started crying because this whole thing was so damn beautiful.

He clicked off the camera and sighed.

What a happy ending.

* * *

**I really hope you guys enjoyed. Have a great day or evening. :)**


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